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visawonderer

PLEASE Help! New in USA in abusive relationship

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Thank you! This is really making me emotional. Your support and advice.. I haven't heard a positive / supportive advice since the day I came... You are right, having constant mental abuse makes you doubt yourself and it feels like drowning. Priorities are all mixed together, everything is foggy. 

 

I appreciate the Uber offer, there is Uber here. I'll let you know if I can, thank you! 

 

Please know that this is a big step, I need to wrap my head around it before I dive in.

 

For all the support and sincere advice, thank you, it means a lot! 

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Denmark
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Also be aware of a future ban if you keep stating but want to go home and have a chance to come back some day even to visit your sister.

 

April to now is about 150 days (don't have exact days) but try and leave before day 179 if this is the route you opt to take.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I wonder if you could go back home, and tell everyone there were some problems with your visa (true!).  Then once you're home you can decide if you want to file the I-30 and come over again (assuming you can work things out with your husband).  It might give you some thinking time without having to worry about all the gossips.  I am very sorry this happened to you, it sounds miserable.

 

And question to the forum - would a religious (but not legal) marriage be acceptable?  I know the legal marriage in her own country is a definite no, but what about a non-legal religious ceremony?  I know that even traditional engagement ceremonies can make you "too married" in the eyes of US immigration, but that's a judgement call.

On J visas.  Spouse won DV lottery while in US.  Did AOS from the US.

 

Boston field office, GC holder for 10 years.

Citizenship received in 2016, took ~5 months from application to passport.

Spouse received citizenship in 2019

 

 

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Filed: Other Country: Saudi Arabia
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11 minutes ago, kiwibean said:

And question to the forum - would a religious (but not legal) marriage be acceptable?  I know the legal marriage in her own country is a definite no, but what about a non-legal religious ceremony?  I know that even traditional engagement ceremonies can make you "too married" in the eyes of US immigration, but that's a judgement call.

No

Please start another thread

 

 

 

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31 minutes ago, kiwibean said:

And question to the forum - would a religious (but not legal) marriage be acceptable?  I know the legal marriage in her own country is a definite no, but what about a non-legal religious ceremony?  I know that even traditional engagement ceremonies can make you "too married" in the eyes of US immigration, but that's a judgement call.

That's a hypothetical question in this case, since we've already been told there was a religious marriage that was registered in home country. That's a full-on legal marriage.

 

There are multiple points along the k1 path where one has to declare that they are free to marry, including obtaining a marriage license in the USA (certainly on my application form there was a requirement to list all previous marriages, and details of when they ended).

 

It is certainly going to complicate any attempt to remain legally in the USA. There was clearly misrepresentation on OP's part and the part of her husband with respect to the application - if OP has been less than honest with that, they'll be more suspicious about the veracity of other things that they are told about the relationship/abuse.

 

The initial post didn't make any mention of a meeting during the 2 years prior to the k1 application. Did that meeting take place? How was the first connection made (marriage bureau - if so was it declared)?

--- k1 visa ---
Texas Service Center (Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here)
I-129F sent: 12 Aug 2014
I-129F NOA1: 15 Aug 2014
I-129F NOA2: 2 Mar 2015 (199 days from NOA1) **No RFEs!**
NVC Received: 19 Mar 2015
Case#, IIN, BIN assigned: 19 Mar 2015
NVC Left: 20 Mar 2015
Consultate Received: 23 Mar 2015
Package 3 Received: 26 Mar 2015
Medical: 10 Apr 2015
Packet 3 Sent: 10 Apr 2015
Packet 4 Received: 23 Apr 2015
Interview Date: 8 May 2015 (Approved!!!)
Visa Issued: 14 May 2015
Visa in Hand: 19 May 2015
Entry to USA: 5 Jun 2015
Married: 21 Jun 2015

---Adjustment of Status---
Sent I-485, I-131 and I-765: 7 Jul 2015
NOA1 for I-485, I-131 and I-765: 14 Jul 2015
Email notification that I-765 was approved: 12 Sep 2015
Email notification that I-131 was approved: 15 Sep 2015
Email notification that EAD/AP combo card was mailed: 15 Sep 2015
EAD and AP combo card received: 18 Sep 2015
Green Card Received: 3 Dec 2015 [ :)] Previous letter stated interview requirement was likely to be waived

 

---Removal of Conditions---
Sent I-751: 13 Oct 2017
NOA1 for I-751: 23 Oct 2017

Biometrics: 20 Nov 2017
Approved: 20 Dec 2018

Green Card Received: 2 Jan 2019

 

-- Citizenship --
Filed Online: 21 Feb 2020
NOA1 (Online): 22 Feb 2020
Biometrics: 10 Mar 2020

Interview: 29 Jul 2020 (Approved - Oath taken immediately due to covid19)

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: England
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It would help if you could talk through your situation with someone to gain some clarity. https://www.virginiaimmigrantrights.org/contact-us/ can point you in the right direction and offer advice. You can message them via the link.

 

I understand how difficult it is to think under pressure. Whatever you decide you need to build a support network to enable you to get through this. Because you are in a bad situation doesn't mean you have to go back to a situation you don't want either. I can't emphasise enough what a precarious situation you are in. Reach out to get support before things escalate any further. Research what support is available in your home country with the aim of recovering and being in control of your own life in the future. Make a plan. Many, many people have started over with virtually nothing. It is achievable. Don't allow fear to influence your decision making. Have hope that your life can improve and accept help. Wishing you all the best. 

 

 

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Filed: Other Country: Saudi Arabia
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I believe everything went as required up to the point of the registered overseas marriage.  

OP’s options due to the situation that was described are severely narrowed because of this marriage leaving her with really no choice but to refile and correct the record or to divorce this winner and return home.

 

A fairly decent divorce lawyer would certainly make sure she gets taken care of in the interim.  

Without “earning” her place as free household labor at the family store.  

 

There really isn’t much to add.  For the record this is a terrible way to treat a fiancé or spouse, especially in the first few months when they are most dependent on you.  I hope everything works out here.

 

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Wales
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There is nothing to suggest that the husband has much in the way of assets or income, seems more down to his parents? The family store is presumably in their name.

 

So getting taken care of, a court order presumably requiring a substantial payment by him, may be unlikely.

 

And any paymnet would only cover the period until the Divorce is finalised and seems very unlikely there is much to divide.

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

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4 minutes ago, Boiler said:

There is nothing to suggest that the husband has much in the way of assets or income, seems more down to his parents? The family store is presumably in their name.

 

So getting taken care of, a court order presumably requiring a substantial payment by him, may be unlikely.

 

And any paymnet would only cover the period until the Divorce is finalised and seems very unlikely there is much to divide.

Begs the question of who would even have signed an i864 then? 

 

OP did not mention any problem involved in leaving the family home to go stay with her friend for a few days , or fear of going back, saying would try “one more time” for adjustment. My reading of this tale is that there a number of inconsistencies. This story just keeps reminding me of all the posts we see by spouses here who get left behind by whoever they brought over as soon as the green card is in hand.  Sweet VJers give those guys all their sympathy too. I wonder how it would look if for every story that got posted we saw the spouse’s side of the story too.

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Wales
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Maybe the Parents would need to be Joint Sponsors? Which seems even less likely.

 

 

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Jordan
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3 hours ago, visawonderer said:

Thank you! This is really making me emotional. Your support and advice.. I haven't heard a positive / supportive advice since the day I came... You are right, having constant mental abuse makes you doubt yourself and it feels like drowning. Priorities are all mixed together, everything is foggy. 

 

I appreciate the Uber offer, there is Uber here. I'll let you know if I can, thank you! 

 

Please know that this is a big step, I need to wrap my head around it before I dive in.

 

For all the support and sincere advice, thank you, it means a lot! 

People here care about the well being of others, we have seen cases like yours on VJ every day for years. The last thing any of us want is for you to stay in a relationship that is dangerous. It's difficult to think clearly when you're in the midst of the madness, I've been there. Just know there are many people willing and able to sincerely help you.


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Filed: Other Country: Saudi Arabia
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55 minutes ago, Boiler said:

There is nothing to suggest that the husband has much in the way of assets or income, seems more down to his parents? The family store is presumably in their name.

 

So getting taken care of, a court order presumably requiring a substantial payment by him, may be unlikely.

 

And any paymnet would only cover the period until the Divorce is finalised and seems very unlikely there is much to divide.

Yes.  Property is not the issue, interim maintenance is.

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