Issues about sending money to Philippines

[user555 196]

16 hours ago, Unlockable said:

I read that in the Philippines money being sent from OFW makes up the 20% of the country's GDP.

Wrong. "The 2017 level of OF personal remittances accounted for 10.0 percent of  gross domestic product (GDP) and 8.3 percent of  gross national income (GNI)." http://www.bsp.gov.ph/publications/media.asp?id=4615

 

And Randy said "very few Americans feel an obligation to support their parents financially" and you understood it as "Americans don't take care of their parents".   Big difference. 

 

To the OP, your husband is ok with sending $140 but not an extra $35. Talk to him about it. Is it worth having an argument about it? Why are you on this immigration forum? You need to join a marriage counseling forum because you cannot resolve your differences by speaking to each other. Someone will have to compromise. Have him create an account and post his story here so we can get both sides of the story. 

[Boiler 45,558]

There have been SO many threads on this forum over the years, normally from USC's who have not appreciated the deal they were buying into.

[Ontarkie 14,234]

Get your own account. Put your pay check into your own account and transfer what is need for household expenses.

 

Stop paying your husbands child support and expenses. That is on him and him alone. When you add in your income the mom can go after your income to get even more support. You need to separate your income now. ( yes the lawyers wanted to do this to my ex as he claimed to not have any money). This happens more than ppl are aware so get things separated now. 

 

Now if you want to buy the kids stuff go ahead and do it when they are with you both. Spoil them all you want get them all the stuff you want but do so apart of then what is owed to the ex for the kids. This is one time where co mingling can cause issues. 

 

After you do all that than you can see what you have left and can adjust how much yo send your mother accordingly. 

[Jon&Margz 132]

On 8/26/2019 at 5:12 PM, AndyCandy said:

I know he spent a lot of money with the process and everything, but right now it’s different.. i have my own job for a year now, which is a good paying job since i work as an RN. But it seems like it’s still not enough for him.

A few clarifications:

1. You're not an RN (in the US) if you haven't passed the NCLEX exam.  You might be working as a Nurse or perhaps an LVN?   

2.  How is the financial situation in your household?   Are you guys struggling to pay all the bills ... or do you have a good savings account?

 

I ask question #2 because if the bills are getting higher in your house - your husband may be stressed that your house bills are growing and money is leaving the country.   If you have good savings - then sending money to your mom should not be a big issue.   My wife (filipina) and I had to "come to terms" on how we handled money.   She was upset when I transferred money from her account to help pay for house bills - so we made an agreement which bills she would pay,  which bills I paid, and we both put money in a joint savings account.  

 

The solution is finding an agreement  with your husband on paying bills - and keeping the agreement.   Good luck! 

[Fogi 91]

Reading stuff like this makes me very thankful my fiance's family is self-sufficient.  

[R&OC 371]

I would suggest you have a joined account for household expenses. If you are contributing to the household/mortgage payments, you need to be on the deed. No questions asked because you are paying off his mortgage and therefore creating equity but in case you both divorce, you may end up empty handed (depending on the state I believe).

 

He pays for his car and you pay for yours. If payments are similar then add them to household expenses.

 

He pays for his kids. You pay for your son. If his kids are coming over frequently (all three of them) and your son is constantly there: You may want to consider a 50:50 grocery budget.

 

You have the right to have your own allowance and savings. As does your husband. He may have paid for the K1 process (how much was that) but I believe you contributed during the last year as well and essentially paid off your "debt". Since you two are married, it isn't really a debt but for the purpose for this argument...

 

Now its time to sit down and discuss your financial future. My husband and I did the same and there was a level of resentment at some point but we pushed through and now it is a lot better. If you work, you worked hard for your money and it is yours as well. He should have no say in how much you give to your mother as long as it is part of your allowance.

 

My thoughts on this.