We need to support each other here

[MovingToFlorida 71]

I few times now I have posted a question or a concern or worry about something and have had replies come back telling me that my families F3 visa is basically something that isn't as important as a spousal or that family visas should be shut down or that our reasons for wanting to move aren't as important or valid as other visa types and that I have no reason to be upset if for some reason after 13 years of waiting we get denied. 

 

I thought this forum was to support each other going through this process? None of my questions asked for anyone's opinion on my type of visa or why we are wanting to move. How dare you put down someone else's dream making it out that yours is more important than mine?

 

Thank you to those who were actually helpful and supportive. I really do appreciate it. That's what we are here for. This process is hard and stressful and we all have one end goal and different valid reasons for that goal. 

[NikLR 13,227]

~~moved to bringing family members of USC to the USA from Canada regional forum.  Topic is not regionally specific~~

[MovingToFlorida 71]

10 minutes ago, NikLR said:

~~moved to bringing family members of USC to the USA from Canada regional forum.  Topic is not regionally specific~~

Honestly I wish you would have left this on this forum as it was people from here that made those comments. I am moving from Canada to the US and it was others in the same scenario here making these un supportive comments. I was trying to make a point so maybe going forward this forum would be more supportive. 

[NikLR 13,227]

I can move it back.  If you would like items remain in the Canada subforum in the future please make sure they're regionally specific.  Otherwise you may find more support in other sub forums with similar visa types.  Best wishes!

 

~~moved to Canada regional forum at OP request~~

Edited August 22, 2019 by NikLR

[NikLR 13,227]

~~removed duplicate topic without answers. Please post only once per topic.  As always report issues and if you feel your thread has been wrongly moved also report~~

[MovingToFlorida 71]

23 minutes ago, NikLR said:

I can move it back.  If you would like items remain in the Canada subforum in the future please make sure they're regionally specific.  Otherwise you may find more support in other sub forums with similar visa types.  Best wishes!

 

~~moved to Canada regional forum at OP request~~

Thank you. I will make it more region specific next time. If you would move it back I would appreciate it. I tried to repost making it more region specific but I see it was removed. 

[saladboye 166]

Well you are forgetting the biggest thing in all this.

 

As a US Citizen, your FIL has a right to bring your family here.

As a Canadian Citizen you have the privilege of coming to US.

 

I can sympathize that you are worried that you may feel 13 years of waiting gone wasted but honestly you also need to understand that simply waiting is not a guarantee of getting to live in US, the US still has discretion. US will look out its own interest first and then yours and yours are not garunteed. 

[MovingToFlorida 71]

2 hours ago, saladboye said:

Well you are forgetting the biggest thing in all this.

 

As a US Citizen, your FIL has a right to bring your family here.

As a Canadian Citizen you have the privilege of coming to US.

 

I can sympathize that you are worried that you may feel 13 years of waiting gone wasted but honestly you also need to understand that simply waiting is not a guarantee of getting to live in US, the US still has discretion. US will look out its own interest first and then yours and yours are not garunteed. 

I definitely understand that. That is not my point. I am not expecting to be allowed to move. My point is that I do not appreciate asking a question or stating a worry  and in turn have someone start telling me that I have no reason to be upset if it doesn't happen. of course we will be upset. That is not being supportive.  

 

Especially when my post had nothing to do with asking their opinion. I was looking for information on something. 

[DGF 730]

7 hours ago, MovingToFlorida said:

I few times now I have posted a question or a concern or worry about something and have had replies come back telling me that my families F3 visa is basically something that isn't as important as a spousal or that family visas should be shut down or that our reasons for wanting to move aren't as important or valid as other visa types and that I have no reason to be upset if for some reason after 13 years of waiting we get denied. 

 

I thought this forum was to support each other going through this process? None of my questions asked for anyone's opinion on my type of visa or why we are wanting to move. How dare you put down someone else's dream making it out that yours is more important than mine?

 

Thank you to those who were actually helpful and supportive. I really do appreciate it. That's what we are here for. This process is hard and stressful and we all have one end goal and different valid reasons for that goal. 

A lot of people here (myself included, admittedly) can be quite touchy. Being separated from your spouse/future spouse and possibly even your children for 1-2+ years – not including the time you were apart before you were married/engaged – will do that to you. When you're already struggling, seeing someone who has everything you want complain about it can cause a knee jerk reaction. I know it's not right, but we're all (you included) under immense stress here and sometimes we don't make the best decisions as a result. If it helps, there's a lot of "well this person went through this" or "well it took me this many years so how hard can your situation be" and resentment between filers at different service centers going on amongst spousal visa applicants too and there's often little support from one spousal visa applicant to another, so lack of support appears to be a community wide issue and not a us vs them issue.

 

I used to view this site as a place for supporting each other but I've since learned that that's not the case (it's the same in the Facebook groups, you can actually get kicked out of those for "complaining" which a lot of the time is coming from people who need support but aren't getting any). There are a few individuals on here who are very sympathetic and will listen and I am glad that you've encountered some of them, but for the most part I've found it's better to get support from family and friends.

[MovingToFlorida 71]

9 minutes ago, DGF said:

A lot of people here (myself included, admittedly) can be quite touchy. Being separated from your spouse/future spouse and possibly even your children for 1-2+ years – not including the time you were apart before you were married/engaged – will do that to you. When you're already struggling, seeing someone who has everything you want complain about it can cause a knee jerk reaction. I know it's not right, but we're all (you included) under immense stress here and sometimes we don't make the best decisions as a result. If it helps, there's a lot of "well this person went through this" or "well it took me this many years so how hard can your situation be" and resentment between filers at different service centers going on amongst spousal visa applicants too and there's often little support from one spousal visa applicant to another, so lack of support appears to be a community wide issue and not a us vs them issue.

 

I used to view this site as a place for supporting each other but I've since learned that that's not the case (it's the same in the Facebook groups, you can actually get kicked out of those for "complaining" which a lot of the time is coming from people who need support but aren't getting any). There are a few individuals on here who are very sympathetic and will listen and I am glad that you've encountered some of them, but for the most part I've found it's better to get support from family and friends.

I completely agree and can understand. emotions run high with this sort of thing. We all want what we don't have. Whether it's to be with our spouse or our family. it's hard! 

 

I do find on line support hard to find anywhere like you stated. Mostly I do go to family for that but sometimes I come here looking for information cause it's really hard to find. Especially for my type of visa it seems. 

 

I really appreciate your kind and supportive reply. I wish you all the luck in your journey and hopefully soon your dream will become reality.