Republican Steve King: if not for incest and rape 'would there be any population left?'

[Steeleballz 7,550]

Just now, yuna628 said:

And that's fine, both parties agreed on the compensation, I assume?

 

    She asked in court. I don't know if he agreed or the judge decided, but it was based on her supporting him all the time in school. Just giving an example of a good reason for alimony. 

[Voice of Reason 10,298]

10 minutes ago, laylalex said:

I didn't divorce him. HE divorced ME. He took away from me my way of earning a living. I am trying to rebuild my career from nothing. I have a job. I am learning a new skill that will eventually lead to a new career.

 

When I married him, I was middle middle class, raised by a doctor and a lawyer, on my way up to an upper middle class lifestyle. I married him, he treated me like dirt for years, but I was so brainwashed I didn't even realize it until I started talking about what I was going through. If I received nothing from him, refused the money, I would have been WORSE off than if I had never married him. Even now, my life is much smaller than it was before. I make economies. I don't drive a car. I don't go off on fabulous vacations. I don't even take any money from my fiance! 

 

And about that Xmas present? He'd just say, like he did the other month when I saw him, that it was his money paying for everything anyway, so why should I insist on paying the bill when he could pay for it directly? 

Thank you, yuna.  He broke the marriage through his treatment of me, in my opinion. He definitely uses the money now still to control me, dangling extra amounts of cash for this or that, but I won't take it. It is often tempting, but so far I have refused.

You tell yourself whatever you need.  At the end of the day, my opinion matters no more than it did five or 15 years ago in your life. 

 

The fact is, you COULD have left the marriage with what you came into it with.  But you took what the court awarded you.  Clear evidence that there are ways that laws are biased towards women & against men.  Just as some laws are biased against women (like abortion).  

 

Saying you dont take "any extra money" from your ex may help you sleep better at night.  But to some of us, the fact that you take "some" money or "even more money that he offers"... there really is no difference.  You think he is controlling you with money.  Yet you won't let go of his money.  So you refuse to break his control of your life, right?

[yuna628 9,758]

Just now, Steeleballz said:

 

    She asked in court. I don't know if he agreed or the judge decided, but it was based on her supporting him all the time in school. Just giving an example of a good reason for alimony. 

Well I'm not saying there aren't good reasons for alimony. I just don't think that long term provisions of having the guy pay out for the rest of his life for no reason, just because. In the example you gave it seems reasonable that he pay her back something, and perhaps additional if he broke the marriage and caused harm for other reasons too.

[laylalex 7,300]

7 minutes ago, ALFKAD said:

You tell yourself whatever you need.  At the end of the day, my opinion matters no more than it did five or 15 years ago in your life. 

 

The fact is, you COULD have left the marriage with what you came into it with.  But you took what the court awarded you.  Clear evidence that there are ways that laws are biased towards women & against men.  Just as some laws are biased against women (like abortion).  

 

Saying you dont take "any extra money" from your ex may help you sleep better at night.  But to some of us, the fact that you take "some" money or "even more money that he offers"... there really is no difference.  You think he is controlling you with money.  Yet you won't let go of his money.  So you refuse to break his control of your life, right?

I had a prenup. The prenup was enforced. My ex fought me tooth and nail, and the court found he had not disclosed some of his assets at the time we entered into the prenup. So the court was not biased against him -- it was enforcing an agreement he willingly entered into. He was sanctioned for hiding assets. These things happen.

 

Under the terms of the prenup, I was entitled to a monthly amount and a lump sum. It wouldn't have been noble of me to walk away from what he agreed to, punish myself for... what? So that I could puff out my breast and say, look at me, I'm self-sufficient! Nobility doesn't pay the bills. Until I am remarried, I am entitled to the payments. It isn't about control. It's about me enforcing a contract, which I thought... was a good thing?

[yuna628 9,758]

3 minutes ago, laylalex said:

I had a prenup. The prenup was enforced. My ex fought me tooth and nail, and the court found he had not disclosed some of his assets at the time we entered into the prenup. So the court was not biased against him -- it was enforcing an agreement he willingly entered into. He was sanctioned for hiding assets. These things happen.

 

Under the terms of the prenup, I was entitled to a monthly amount and a lump sum. It wouldn't have been noble of me to walk away from what he agreed to, punish myself for... what? So that I could puff out my breast and say, look at me, I'm self-sufficient! Nobility doesn't pay the bills. Until I am remarried, I am entitled to the payments. It isn't about control. It's about me enforcing a contract, which I thought... was a good thing?

 Both parties agreed to the terms and signed the terms.

[Nature Boy 2.0 8,394]

2 hours ago, laylalex said:

It really isn't cool, Boris. Gender bias is a real thing, and as I have written in several of my posts in this thread, a force most if not all women and girls have to deal with in their lives. That is not to say that men do not also face gender bias, it's just that as the gender with greater power (undeniably true, even in our society), the biases they face tend to be less toxic. (I am not counting the bias against fathers in the court system -- my fiance is proof that it exists in England, too. His ex-wife was awarded primary custody of their daughter despite essentially running away with the child. And because they had a high standard of living in London, he has to pay through the nose to support them.)

Dogone right. Men need abortion equality🤣

[Voice of Reason 10,298]

51 minutes ago, laylalex said:

I had a prenup. The prenup was enforced. My ex fought me tooth and nail, and the court found he had not disclosed some of his assets at the time we entered into the prenup. So the court was not biased against him -- it was enforcing an agreement he willingly entered into. He was sanctioned for hiding assets. These things happen.

 

Under the terms of the prenup, I was entitled to a monthly amount and a lump sum. It wouldn't have been noble of me to walk away from what he agreed to, punish myself for... what? So that I could puff out my breast and say, look at me, I'm self-sufficient! Nobility doesn't pay the bills. Until I am remarried, I am entitled to the payments. It isn't about control. It's about me enforcing a contract, which I thought... was a good thing?

Well, now, a prenup changes things.  That was not mentioned previously. 

 

When my ex left me for another guy, she wanted half of my retirement.  I told her she could have it all, if she stayed.  She decided leaving without it was better than staying.  Today, I enjoy 100% of my earnings instead of 50%, and she regrets her choice to leave.  Life is all about choices.  Hopefully as we get older,  we make better ones.

[Nature Boy 2.0 8,394]

21 minutes ago, ALFKAD said:

Well, now, a prenup changes things.  That was not mentioned previously. 

 

When my ex left me for another guy, she wanted half of my retirement.  I told her she could have it all, if she stayed.  She decided leaving without it was better than staying.  Today, I enjoy 100% of my earnings instead of 50%, and she regrets her choice to leave.  Life is all about choices.  Hopefully as we get older,  we make better ones.

Seriously as good a husband as you are I cant imagine anyone leaving you.

[laylalex 7,300]

17 minutes ago, ALFKAD said:

Well, now, a prenup changes things.  That was not mentioned previously. 

 

When my ex left me for another guy, she wanted half of my retirement.  I told her she could have it all, if she stayed.  She decided leaving without it was better than staying.  Today, I enjoy 100% of my earnings instead of 50%, and she regrets her choice to leave.  Life is all about choices.  Hopefully as we get older,  we make better ones.

Sorry, I thought I had mentioned it. Maybe I did elsewhere. 

 

I agree that life is about choices, and I made a poor one in taking my ex back after he breached my trust during our engagement. I saw many, many red flags but I chose to ignore them all because I was young, and he was so contrite. More fool me, huh?

 

I hope I have made a better one this time. My fiance and I were together when we were younger, and events drove us apart. We both regret not fighting harder for what we had back then when we had the chance to make things right. That's what experience and knowledge get you though -- perspective and wisdom. We have been taking things very slow now on purpose -- we have one last shot to make it right.

[Voice of Reason 10,298]

1 hour ago, laylalex said:

Sorry, I thought I had mentioned it. Maybe I did elsewhere. 

 

I agree that life is about choices, and I made a poor one in taking my ex back after he breached my trust during our engagement. I saw many, many red flags but I chose to ignore them all because I was young, and he was so contrite. More fool me, huh?

 

I hope I have made a better one this time. My fiance and I were together when we were younger, and events drove us apart. We both regret not fighting harder for what we had back then when we had the chance to make things right. That's what experience and knowledge get you though -- perspective and wisdom. We have been taking things very slow now on purpose -- we have one last shot to make it right.

A proper relationship doesn't require a fight...  just diligent hard work, most days.

[laylalex 7,300]

1 minute ago, ALFKAD said:

A proper relationship doesn't require a fight...  just diligent hard work, most days.

Yes -- learned that one the hard way. We were barely more than teenagers when we originally split up, and we needed to grow up and realize what was really important to us -- love, respect, kindness, patience, honesty. We work on these every day. The hard work can often be very enjoyable though!  

[fip & jim 452]

7 hours ago, Boris Farage said:

I say again, it's not the men who are having abortions.

Is that possible?

[Boris Farage 353]

5 minutes ago, fip & jim said:

Is that possible?

For men to have abortions? I'm going to stand firm on my answer. Still no.

[fip & jim 452]

I'm going to stand up for @laylalex because it sickens me to see this victim blaming in real life . It's none of anyone's damn business. Your privilege blinds you to your patronising attitudes. In your opinion it's up to the female to prove she needs an abortion. Well, aren't you darn lucky that the onus will never be on you to prove "virtue". Holding doors open for the pretty ladies doesn't make you a decent " chivalrous" person. You have shown plenty of what you are. Hissy fit my (removed).  I'm old enough to be your mother you cheeky little g£t.

Edited August 27, 2019 by Ontarkie
bypassing language filter

[Nature Boy 2.0 8,394]

3 hours ago, fip & jim said:

I'm going to stand up for @laylalex because it sickens me to see this victim blaming in real life . It's none of anyone's damn business. Your privilege blinds you to your patronising attitudes. In your opinion it's up to the female to prove she needs an abortion. Well, aren't you darn lucky that the onus will never be on you to prove "virtue". Holding doors open for the pretty ladies doesn't make you a decent " chivalrous" person. You have shown plenty of what you are. Hissy fit my (removed).  I'm old enough to be your mother you cheeky little g£t.

I guess since you didnt get the reaction you predicated,  you are just going to generate some out rage 

Edited August 27, 2019 by Ontarkie
edited quoted part for language