ROC to be filed soon - complex situation regarding living and finances

[DSOTM1973 52]

Hi all, I'd appreciate some feedback and advice,  I am due to file for ROC in two months, and I have two problems, My spouse and I never shared finances (Per choice to avoid arguments), an been living apart most of the time due to her work) so  here is my story:

 

After 9 months of marriage, my wife (USC) and I, and had a lot of pressure due to her work situation, which resulted in a lot of pressure on both us, and it took a toll on our relationship.

Before, the CGC was approved, we agreed she would go back to school, and do something she is passionate about it as I was working and my income would cover both of us. Right before we file for AOS, she switched jobs to fulfill the financial requirements, and that switch really impacted both of us negatively. So, after long research, she found an opening in a school program that is 4.5 hours away from home, and in her hometown where her family lives. So she applied, accepted, and we sorted all the financial stuff for her to start in 1 month (All documented). Literally 3 days after, the GC was approved, and 3 weeks in, my wife started her 5 months program while living with family to save on costs.

As classes were everyday, we couldn't see each others frequently; however, we talked everyday 10-20 times easily. During those months, we worked on marriage, and everything was getting back to normal once she graduated. 

However, she received a job offer to do something that always been her dream in that city, so I had to support her to take it, the same way she always supported me. Her job was 2 years contract, in return the place would pay for all her training and certificates, and she would be working something she is passionate about for once. So we agreed on it, and that she would come home every 2/3 weeks for 3-5 days as I don't drive for medical reasons. Therefore, we been living apart almost since GC was approved (coincidentally).

 

The evidence we have are:

1- 3 shared leases at our original home state, shared addresses on licences, W2 sent to the same address (even from her work in a different state).

2- Join Taxes (Federal and State), we been owing taxes and paying them since she work out of state.

3- Joint Trips (We fly from different airport and land at the same time) 

4- A lot of joint bills (Electricity, home insurance, Internet, and medical bills)

5- Join healthcare coverage from my job (Med, dental, and vision) 

6- She is beneficiary on 401k and life insurance since we got married and all my benefits 

7- Joint life insurance from work

8- Joint Brokerage account

9- Trips and concerts and pics

10- Phone records shows daily interactions (we talk easily 15-20 times a day)

11- Joint Savings partially active

12- Joint financials, and here is the problem: We been splitting bills since we got married, and we transfer each others money based on the bills. We decided to stay financially independent to avoid arguments about money. As well, for 7 months, I was the solely the care giver due to her enrollment in school.

13- Joint Credit Cards (3) - Another problems: My spouse's transactions are limited to the other state as whenever she is home, I take care of everything.

14- Flowers receipt sent to her job (3x for anniversary and such), proof mails sent to each others, and so on

15- Possible two affidavits (her brother and my best friend) as we don't have really close friends.

16- Joint Amazon and Costco accounts 

17- We rented my wife a very small loft near her job where the lease in her name, and the bills in my name

18- Not sure if it is considered as evidence, but I came to US at F-1 Visa, and I graduated with high advanced engineering degree, and had 3 internships in the US, and I was set to apply for higher education (Marriage changed plans due to commitments), so I technically didn't need marriage to evade immigration

 

I put my self in the IO shoes while looking at the package we are preparing, and I get really worried and stressed as it seems the best proof of real marriage (for USCIS) is commingled finances and living together, which apparently we don't have, and there is no much proof of my wife visiting regularly. So, I was wondering what is the best way to explain the not very joined finances and the living? I am planning to write a letter and attached to the cover letter, but I am just not sure how to address the situation? Lately I been applying for jobs in her location, and we been discussing moving somewhere together in the soon future, but nothing concrete yet.

 

Silly us, we never really tried to change our lives to satisfy immigration, and despite all the evidences, I still feel we coming short. I really been stressed so bad lately, I can't sleep, and it is honestly depressing and worrisome.  I understand in the eyes of USCIS, this feels like a fraud level C situation, and I don't mind another interview, it is just that of proving our marriage is real, is really too much to bear because marriages more than just finances and shared homes.

[p-ana 933]

It seems you have a lot of proof. You should add an explanation like you did in this post to your packet. If you explain, it will be easier for whoever is evaluating your evidence to understand it.

 

best of luck

[Sukie 1,474]

Most of us don't look like the "usual" hubby-wife team.  And your situation with work/school/not sharing finances is not as unusual as you think.  Write a personal note, signed by you both, explaining how you have done the past two years.  Acknowledge, up front, that you know you don't look like the typical couple, but that you are committed to each other and the proof you have is what you are sending.

 

Remember - if they have questions, they will send an RFE, or, you'll be called for an interview.  You'll still get through!

 

Take a deep breath, and organize your packet well. 

 

Good luck!

 

Sukie in NY

[agripa 100]

On 8/17/2019 at 3:28 PM, DSOTM1973 said:

I put my self in the IO shoes while looking at the package we are preparing, and I get really worried and stressed as it seems the best proof of real marriage (for USCIS) is commingled finances and living together, which apparently we don't have, and there is no much proof of my wife visiting regularly. So, I was wondering what is the best way to explain the not very joined finances and the living? I am planning to write a letter and attached to the cover letter, but I am just not sure how to address the situation? Lately I been applying for jobs in her location, and we been discussing moving somewhere together in the soon future, but nothing concrete yet.

 

I think you have more than enough information. If you'd like write up an affidavit describing everything you've just described in your post. Your story sounded really heartfelt and genuine to me! Explain what the last two years has been like (just like you've written it up here) and end with what plans you're hoping to make for the future. Both of your should sign this affidavit and I'd even get it notarized. Include this affidavit at the start of your packet.

 

Sacrificing to help your wife secure her dream job sounds like a bonafide marriage to me!

Edited August 19, 2019 by agripa
Typos

[agripa 100]

On 8/17/2019 at 3:28 PM, DSOTM1973 said:

So we agreed on it, and that she would come home every 2/3 weeks for 3-5 days as I don't drive for medical reasons.

Do you have photographs of your time together during these visits? I think it's okay even if it's mundane stuff (just sitting at home). Include these along with captions describing what you're doing and when the photograph was taken.

Edited August 19, 2019 by agripa
Typos

[agripa 100]

On 8/17/2019 at 3:28 PM, DSOTM1973 said:

Before, the CGC was approved, we agreed she would go back to school, and do something she is passionate about it as I was working and my income would cover both of us. 

It sounds like your paid her tuition, is this correct? If so, could you provide evidence of this in some form (credit card statements, checks, etc.)? I'd include this proof in your packet. IMO, it would strengthen your story further.

[DSOTM1973 52]

9 hours ago, agripa said:

Do you have photographs of your time together during these visits? I think it's okay even if it's mundane stuff (just sitting at home). Include these along with captions describing what you're doing and when the photograph was taken.

no really. I mean, it is kinda weird taking photos together home. We have photos from Trips, but that is about it. I didn't pay for tuition, it was a federal loan, that was approved prior to  GC approval. 

Edited August 19, 2019 by DSOTM1973

[DSOTM1973 52]

13 hours ago, Sukie said:

Most of us don't look like the "usual" hubby-wife team.  And your situation with work/school/not sharing finances is not as unusual as you think.  Write a personal note, signed by you both, explaining how you have done the past two years.  Acknowledge, up front, that you know you don't look like the typical couple, but that you are committed to each other and the proof you have is what you are sending.

 

Remember - if they have questions, they will send an RFE, or, you'll be called for an interview.  You'll still get through!

 

Take a deep breath, and organize your packet well. 

 

Good luck!

 

Sukie in NY

Thank You! I was curious, would it be okay to only send one affidavit? I read on instruction minimum of two. The only person I am comfortable asking, US Citizen, and really knowledgeable of our relationship is my sister's brother as we close with him. I am just concerned they would RFE requesting another person's affidavit or something like that

[p-ana 933]

2 hours ago, DSOTM1973 said:

Thank You! I was curious, would it be okay to only send one affidavit? I read on instruction minimum of two. The only person I am comfortable asking, US Citizen, and really knowledgeable of our relationship is my sister's brother as we close with him. I am just concerned they would RFE requesting another person's affidavit or something like that

I haven’t sent any affidavits. Had also a complicated living situation and was worried sick. I included explanations like Sukie suggested and was just approved with no rfe and no interview 

[DSOTM1973 52]

2 hours ago, p-ana said:

I haven’t sent any affidavits. Had also a complicated living situation and was worried sick. I included explanations like Sukie suggested and was just approved with no rfe and no interview 

That makes sense, I appreciate your response! I know I am probably over-stressing, but can't help it. Probably it will be like that for the next year or so. Do You any recommendation on how we address the separate finances? It is honestly was merely just personal reference to avoid money arguments, and I am not sure how much details should I give the IO, you know?

[p-ana 933]

On 8/19/2019 at 2:39 PM, DSOTM1973 said:

That makes sense, I appreciate your response! I know I am probably over-stressing, but can't help it. Probably it will be like that for the next year or so. Do You any recommendation on how we address the separate finances? It is honestly was merely just personal reference to avoid money arguments, and I am not sure how much details should I give the IO, you know?

I wrote short and to the point statements. If they need more info from you they will send you a rfe letter or call you for interview. Don’t worry too much. 

Edited August 22, 2019 by p-ana

[afrocraft 314]

There's no requirement for joint financials. Absolutely none. The requirement is to show that your marriage is (more likely than not to be) legit. Co-mingling of finances is one proof of marriage bona fides, but there are other ways to show co-mingling besides joint financials. Like evidence of transferring funds to yourselves; joint ownership of assets; joint tax filing, etc.