To Learn About the Far Right, Start With the ‘Manosphere’

[beloved_dingo 1,979]

I've been giving this a lot of thought - and by "this" I mean the unfortunate trend of young white males acting out in very violent, destructive ways. And I believe the issue is entitlement. If you are a white male from a "decent background" (upper middle-class for example) you are basically told from birth that the world is your oyster. You have these "average joes" that expect to end up with a beautiful wife, a nice house/car, great job, etc. but they aren't necessarily told they have to work for it or they have been told, but they just don't care. And they don't even know how to just be content with a loving girlfriend, or a decent job, and/or an apartment. They deserve more than that, right? So then you have some 20-year old that has done little to nothing with his life, with an ever increasing frustration that women aren't just falling into his lap, spending more and more time on the internet as an outlet, likely looking at hard-core porn when he's not on Reddit or god forbid, 4chan, 8chan or other trash websites, and that frustration starts to turn to rage. And that rage needs a target. Whether the target ends up being women, or people of color, or just whoever happens to be in their way at the time, it is bound to manifest itself in some tragic, nasty way. 

 

Add on top of this the uphill battle it is to treat or diagnose mental illness early, especially in boys/men, and the fact that men are culturally less expected or encouraged to express their more sensitive emotions (such as sadness, low self-worth, etc) it's no surprise that this creates a ticking time bomb in some young men. And sadly, even when it doesn't result in violence to others, it often results in self-harm or suicide.

Edited August 13, 2019 by beloved_dingo

[Boris Farage 353]

5 minutes ago, laylalex said:

I'm not saying common courtesy is "ridiculous" -- what I'm saying is it's ridiculous for a man to assume that a woman *needs* to have him open a door for her unless she's unable to do so for whatever reason (carrying shopping, pulling a suitcase, whatever)

As I mentioned earlier, nobody needs civility. But as for me, it is simply the done thing. And if it were me, you'd have the door opened for you, and still have your hands free because I'd ensure your shopping and baggage were already sorted. It's unfortunate your fiancee doesn't care to do these things for you.

 

5 minutes ago, laylalex said:

Also, I'm dying  to know what your edit was since you didn't fill in the little box that says why you edited!

Shall I leave it a mystery?

😉 Ah well. Sorry to disappoint, a simple typo. Even I make them on occasion.

 

5 minutes ago, laylalex said:

REALLY?

Really. A woman's appearance does not affect my politeness. Only my willingness to pursue. 😉

 

Just now, yuna628 said:

If I should get there first though, I'm opening the door for him, and he's going to have wrestle whatever is in the deep regions of his psyche and go through.

Poor lad. 🙁

[laylalex 7,285]

16 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

As I mentioned earlier, nobody needs civility. But as for me, it is simply the done thing. And if it were me, you'd have the door opened for you, and still have your hands free because I'd ensure your shopping and baggage were already sorted. It's unfortunate your fiancee doesn't care to do these things for you.

It's my fiance not my fiancee, thanks. And I frequently have to wrestle things from him that I am perfectly capable of carrying myself. I had a whole mess of a marriage in which I wasn't allowed to do things for myself and now I prefer to ask when I need help. Jesus, you sound like my ex.

 

16 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

Shall I leave it a mystery?

😉 Ah well. Sorry to disappoint, a simple typo. Even I make them on occasion.

Yes, I can see from your "fiancee" typo above.

 

16 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

Really. A woman's appearance does not affect my politeness. Only my willingness to pursue. 😉

 

Well, good luck with the pursuit. 

Edited August 13, 2019 by laylalex
Edit: didn't mean to get around the language filter! Also second edit, for unnecessary cattiness.

[beloved_dingo 1,979]

As a side note, common courtesy is fine but I think some men don't seem to realize when they step over the line from "common courtesy" to "this man I do not know is making me uncomfortable".

 

Example - last year I was loading some groceries into my car at the grocery store. An older man driving through the parking lot in a truck leans out of his window and asks if I'd like some help. I glance over, politely say "Thanks, but I've got it." After he parks, he walks by where I am getting in my car to leave and says "You'd be even prettier if you'd smile". Quite frankly, I did not appreciate that comment and it made me uncomfortable. I don't exist to smile and be pretty for some random 55 year old at Winn Dixie. And, since I didn't really react, he probably continues to think that making such comments is perfectly acceptable. 

[laylalex 7,285]

6 minutes ago, beloved_dingo said:

As a side note, common courtesy is fine but I think some men don't seem to realize when they step over the line from "common courtesy" to "this man I do not know is making me uncomfortable".

 

Example - last year I was loading some groceries into my car at the grocery store. An older man driving through the parking lot in a truck leans out of his window and asks if I'd like some help. I glance over, politely say "Thanks, but I've got it." After he parks, he walks by where I am getting in my car to leave and says "You'd be even prettier if you'd smile". Quite frankly, I did not appreciate that comment and it made me uncomfortable. I don't exist to smile and be pretty for some random 55 year old at Winn Dixie. And, since I didn't really react, he probably continues to think that making such comments is perfectly acceptable. 

I totally know what you're talking about. It's like... just because you didn't accept the offer of help it automatically makes you a target for the "smile" comment. (I get those all the time, and it's not like I have resting b*tch face or anything.) You are a person who gets to exist in the world, smiling or unsmiling, receptive to assistance or not, and it doesn't mean that anyone, any man, has the right to comment on your appearance, or that you're required to respond.

[Boiler 45,525]

 

2 minutes ago, laylalex said:

I totally know what you're talking about. It's like... just because you didn't accept the offer of help it automatically makes you a target for the "smile" comment. (I get those all the time, and it's not like I have resting b*tch face or anything.) You are a person who gets to exist in the world, smiling or unsmiling, receptive to assistance or not, and it doesn't mean that anyone, any man, has the right to comment on your appearance, or that you're required to respond.

I would never say anything, I might wonder if somebody does not have any friends who would say something.

[Boris Farage 353]

18 minutes ago, laylalex said:

It's my fiance not my fiancee, thanks. And I frequently have to wrestle things from him that I am perfectly capable of carrying myself. I had a whole mess of a marriage in which I wasn't allowed to do things for myself and now I prefer to ask when I need help. Jesus, you sound like my ex.

Kitty has claws! 😉 (it's a joke on your picture)

 

You lived in a marriage where you couldn't do anything for yourself, but you still take money from him. Doesn't sound like such a bad deal to me.

 

19 minutes ago, laylalex said:

Yes, I can see from your "fiancee" typo above.

I seem to recall you going on about a pink ##### hat, so who knows. Your boyfriend could very well be your fiancee. 😉

[beloved_dingo 1,979]

16 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

Kitty has claws! 😉 (it's a joke on your picture)

 

You lived in a marriage where you couldn't do anything for yourself, but you still take money from him. Doesn't sound like such a bad deal to me.

 

I seem to recall you going on about a pink ##### hat, so who knows. Your boyfriend could very well be your fiancee. 😉

Economic abuse is a thing, you know - purposely putting a spouse/partner in a position where they are forced to be reliant/codependent, financially and otherwise. We see it a fair amount on this very forum - where a fiance or spouse arrives on a marriage-based visa, only to have their liberties restricted or outright taken away because they are not allowed to work, be independent, or have a life outside of the relationship. I don't know if that was what @laylalex faced, but you have no basis for judgment and it's honestly none of your business. 

 

Also, you need to adjust your "old school thinking" if a man owning something pink = "he may as well be a woman".

Edited August 13, 2019 by beloved_dingo

[Boris Farage 353]

12 minutes ago, beloved_dingo said:

Economic abuse is a thing, you know - purposely putting a spouse/partner in a position where they are forced to be reliant/codependent, financially and otherwise. We see it a fair amount on this very forum - where a fiance or spouse arrives on a marriage-based visa, only to have their liberties restricted or outright taken away because they are not allowed to work, be independent, or have a life outside of the relationship. I don't know if that was what @laylalex faced, but you have no basis for judgment and it's honestly none of your business.

 

Laylalex said her husband was the immigrant, so I hardly think he was in a position to economically abuse her. If anything, it seems he provided her a very comfortable environment.

 

12 minutes ago, beloved_dingo said:

Also, you need to adjust your "old school thinking" if a man owning something pink = "he may as well be a woman".

It was Lalyalex that owned the pink ##### hat. And it was a joke at my expense, actually, I typod "fiance."

 

All good. 😉

Edited August 13, 2019 by Boris Farage

[Boiler 45,525]

I think we determined the pink hat was racist.

[laylalex 7,285]

28 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

Kitty has claws! 😉 (it's a joke on your picture)

 

You lived in a marriage where you couldn't do anything for yourself, but you still take money from him. Doesn't sound like such a bad deal to me.

 

I seem to recall you going on about a pink ##### hat, so who knows. Your boyfriend could very well be your fiancee. 😉

It wasn't that I couldn't do anything for myself -- I was perfectly capable of doing things, I just wasn't allowed to. And I earned every penny I get. And when he's offered to increase the amount voluntarily but there are strings attached, I refuse. I am happy to take what I am legally entitled to but I am done being controlled by money. 

 

My fiance is definitely a man, thanks, by the way. 

6 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

Laylalex said her husband was the immigrant, so I hardly think he was in a position to economically abuse her. If anything, it seems he provided her a very comfortable environment.

 

It was Lalyalex that owned the pink ##### hat. And it was a joke at my expense, actually, I typod "fiance."

 

All good. 😉

Yes, he was the immigrant but he's now a USC. And yes, it is possible for an immigrant to economically abuse his or her USC partner. I am proof of it. I continue to be proof of it.

 

20 minutes ago, beloved_dingo said:

Economic abuse is a thing, you know - purposely putting a spouse/partner in a position where they are forced to be reliant/codependent, financially and otherwise. We see it a fair amount on this very forum - where a fiance or spouse arrives on a marriage-based visa, only to have their liberties restricted or outright taken away because they are not allowed to work, be independent, or have a life outside of the relationship. I don't know if that was what @laylalex faced, but you have no basis for judgment and it's honestly none of your business. 

 

Also, you need to adjust your "old school thinking" if a man owning something pink = "he may as well be a woman".

Yes, thank you!!! I was cajoled into being dependent on my ex for just about everything -- money, my sense of self, my worth as a woman. I am now in a much healthier relationship with someone else, someone who encourages me to be strong and who believes that I am not the weak and feeble creature I was told I was for so long.

5 minutes ago, Boiler said:

I think we determined the pink hat was racist.

No, that was you.  

[Boiler 45,525]

More and more feminists are now ditching those pink, anti-Trump “pussyhats” on the grounds that they’re actually racist and transphobic.

According to an article in the Detroit Free Press, many activists have concerns that the hat “excludes and is offensive to transgender women and gender nonbinary people who don’t have typical female genitalia and to women of color because their genitals are more likely to be brown than pink.”

 

https://www.nationalreview.com/2018/01/pussyhats-racist-transphobic-feminists-say/

 

Nuff said

[laylalex 7,285]

1 minute ago, Boiler said:

More and more feminists are now ditching those pink, anti-Trump “pussyhats” on the grounds that they’re actually racist and transphobic.

According to an article in the Detroit Free Press, many activists have concerns that the hat “excludes and is offensive to transgender women and gender nonbinary people who don’t have typical female genitalia and to women of color because their genitals are more likely to be brown than pink.”

 

https://www.nationalreview.com/2018/01/pussyhats-racist-transphobic-feminists-say/

 

Nuff said

Yes, I recall you posting this. And it's definitely *one* opinion. Does that mean it is the definitive opinion, or the definitive truth? Probably not. 

[Boris Farage 353]

6 minutes ago, Boiler said:

More and more feminists are now ditching those pink, anti-Trump “pussyhats” on the grounds that they’re actually racist and transphobic.

According to an article in the Detroit Free Press, many activists have concerns that the hat “excludes and is offensive to transgender women and gender nonbinary people who don’t have typical female genitalia and to women of color because their genitals are more likely to be brown than pink.”

 

https://www.nationalreview.com/2018/01/pussyhats-racist-transphobic-feminists-say/

 

Nuff said

Fascinating to watch progressives twist themselves up in their own manufactured political correctness. If they thought about it for one moment, they'd see how ridiculous it was. But they don't.

 

[laylalex 7,285]

14 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

Fascinating to watch progressives twist themselves up in their own manufactured political correctness. If they thought about it for one moment, they'd see how ridiculous it was. But they don't.

 

I don't think being ridiculous is confined to being progressive. There are any number of so-called conservatives with the most ridiculously hypocritical points of view. I'm sure that there are middle of the road people who could be accused of that too. Hypocrisy isn't a left-right issue.