How to get divorced with my Chinese wife who LIVES in China

[Boiler 45,884]

This is a binary situation, you said you were not going to go through the Divorce process which seems the obvious option.

[omega300man 0]

1 minute ago, Boiler said:

This is a binary situation, you said you were not going to go through the Divorce process which seems the obvious option.

I said no such thing. I am asking for help here because I do not know how to get this psycho divorced without going bankrupt. 

[samnrong 52]

19 minutes ago, omega300man said:

I said no such thing. I am asking for help here because I do not know how to get this psycho divorced without going bankrupt. 

This is becoming circular.

 

You have been given much help, you just don't like the options available. You have TWO options, either hire an attorney or DIY. You state you cannot DIY, then by process of elimination your only other option is HIRE AN ATTORNEY.

[SmallTownPA 72]

On 7/30/2019 at 1:03 PM, omega300man said:

Meanwhile she is threatening to fly to America and sue me for spousal support, only to cause me as much pain as possible. 

lol man up.

 

If she starts making claims in US courts she's QUICKLY going to learn that her guan xi means NOTHING here.  

 

Have you talked to a lawyer about abandonment?  NC recognizes it. 

[omega300man 0]

5 minutes ago, SmallTownPA said:

lol man up.

 

If she starts making claims in US courts she's QUICKLY going to learn that her guan xi means NOTHING here.  

 

Have you talked to a lawyer about abandonment?  NC recognizes it. 

Yes, I met with an attorney last week. Unfortunately abandonment won't work because I left her in China. Her argument would be that I abandoned her. Anyway, I have some news. Her son informed me that she has purchased a ticket to the U.S. for December and plans on filing for divorce. She has a Chinese attorney here and will claim abuse, infidelity and an entire list of ridiculous nonsense. Her son is horrified but she told him to mind his own business. 

 

This means I will have to pay the piper, give a lawyer 5 grand (to start) and file in November before she gets here. Once I know where she is she can be served and at least I would have the upper hand.  My attorney said her wish for alimony is laughable since the marriage lasted just two years, only 9 months of which we lived together. She won't get squat. But she will force me to spend thousands to get rid of her.

 

She is a complete loon. Hell-bent on revenge.  I sure did pick a live one. 

Edited August 10, 2019 by omega300man

[Lemonslice 4,943]

Do you have shared assets? Children together?  If you have time, then you could most certainly file yourself earlier and save those five grands... 

[visafrompa 9]

On 8/10/2019 at 11:05 AM, omega300man said:

Yes, I met with an attorney last week. Unfortunately abandonment won't work because I left her in China. Her argument would be that I abandoned her. Anyway, I have some news. Her son informed me that she has purchased a ticket to the U.S. for December and plans on filing for divorce. She has a Chinese attorney here and will claim abuse, infidelity and an entire list of ridiculous nonsense. Her son is horrified but she told him to mind his own business. 

 

This means I will have to pay the piper, give a lawyer 5 grand (to start) and file in November before she gets here. Once I know where she is she can be served and at least I would have the upper hand.  My attorney said her wish for alimony is laughable since the marriage lasted just two years, only 9 months of which we lived together. She won't get squat. But she will force me to spend thousands to get rid of her.

 

She is a complete loon. Hell-bent on revenge.  I sure did pick a live one. 

 

Have service done to her at the airport.. see if CBP will serve it for you.  That would be EPIC.  'Welcome to the US, you're been served!' (queue music, glitter ball and balloon drop.  Any 3rd party can do service as long as they sign the paper that they served it to the right person (aka almost like in the movies).  Get a homeless person and pay them $20 to do it.  lol

 

Claiming abuse etc won't do much.. most divorces are 'not fault' and unless she has a green card she won't be able to stay in the US for the year or two it will take to fight it out.  If she claims 'at fault', well, if you don't have any money then they can't award her anything.

 

If anything make sure, that during the financial discovery phase you make sure she lists EVERYTHING.  She has two houses in the Guo?  Have her get them assessed.  Demand all bank accounts and pensions.  Cars, jewelry, furs, force her to put up or shut up.   Remember, you're entitled to half of the MARTIAL assets, or the growth of premarital assets during marriage. 

Edited August 14, 2019 by visafrompa

[samnrong 52]

6 hours ago, visafrompa said:

 

Have service done to her at the airport.. see if CBP will serve it for you.  That would be EPIC.  'Welcome to the US, you're been served!' (queue music, glitter ball and balloon drop.  Any 3rd party can do service as long as they sign the paper that they served it to the right person (aka almost like in the movies).  Get a homeless person and pay them $20 to do it.  lol

 

Claiming abuse etc won't do much.. most divorces are 'not fault' and unless she has a green card she won't be able to stay in the US for the year or two it will take to fight it out.  If she claims 'at fault', well, if you don't have any money then they can't award her anything.

 

If anything make sure, that during the financial discovery phase you make sure she lists EVERYTHING.  She has two houses in the Guo?  Have her get them assessed.  Demand all bank accounts and pensions.  Cars, jewelry, furs, force her to put up or shut up.   Remember, you're entitled to half of the MARTIAL assets, or the growth of premarital assets during marriage. 

Slim chance that US courts have any jurisdiction over Chinese assets. Sounds like all the woman's assets are in China. Doubt OP will see anything. Doubt that US court orders mean diddly squat to the Chinese judiciary.

[visafrompa 9]

2 hours ago, samnrong said:

Slim chance that US courts have any jurisdiction over Chinese assets. Sounds like all the woman's assets are in China. Doubt OP will see anything. Doubt that US court orders mean diddly squat to the Chinese judiciary.

Have you divorced a Chinese woman?  I have.  So unless your lawyers were really bad, there is no such thing as hiding assets from the court.

 

So unless you have divorced a Chinese woman and can speak from EXPERIENCE, could you PLEASE stop posting on things you may have no idea about?  PLEASE.  PRETTY PLEASE?!?!?!?!?!

 

And no Judge is going to buy 'hiding foreign assets'.  She's in a US court, pleading for a US Divorce.  She cannot waive the magical Chinar wand and say 'I don't have any assets' when the spouse can prove otherwise.

 

 

[samnrong 52]

1 hour ago, visafrompa said:

Have you divorced a Chinese woman?  I have.  So unless your lawyers were really bad, there is no such thing as hiding assets from the court.

 

So unless you have divorced a Chinese woman and can speak from EXPERIENCE, could you PLEASE stop posting on things you may have no idea about?  PLEASE.  PRETTY PLEASE?!?!?!?!?!

 

And no Judge is going to buy 'hiding foreign assets'.  She's in a US court, pleading for a US Divorce.  She cannot waive the magical Chinar wand and say 'I don't have any assets' when the spouse can prove otherwise.

 

 

Let me know how many of your ex’s chinese assets you were able to actually get a hold of.

 

the court can say whatever it wants. Actually getting the assets expropriated from China into your hands is an entirely different matter. But please do tell

how you were able to expropriate your ex wife’s chinese assets. I’d love to hear that story.

[Unlockable 7,315]

*** Friendly reminder to not tell or imply other members not to post.

 

VJ Moderation

[Darnell 8,479]

ok - so - IF the two of you can agree to an uncontested divorce - 

and IF the two of you can agree to any asset distribution (or no asset re-distribution what so ever) 

then its possible, without her showing up. Courts love 'uncontested' and 'agreed' - it saves actual court time for hearings. Which, of course, saves you money. 

 

In Texas, ages past - I learned that my county court needed a 'waiver on appearance' to be filed with their court, it overcame any service/notice requirement.  Perhaps your state does the same thing, with a Waiver on Appearance ? 

 

 

OK - so - I prepped a Waiver on Appearance doc in translated chinese - had her go to the same office that handles the hukou book translations, 

and they translated it into English and gave some official China stamp/seal on it.   So, the 'out of country official document' requirement was met - it had an official China Seal on it.  Probably squeaked by at my courthouse for some reason, but they accepted it.  Turned out to be a 'Red Book', showing :

1.  original chinese document with her signature 

2.  translated English document with the translators statement

3.  some official China Seal 

all bound together in Red Book format [this is a format used for translated birth certificates, divorce certificates, that USCIS/NVC wants when filing their stuff] - and most notarial translation officies know the Red Book format. 

 

She sends it to me via postal mail. 

I receive it.  

I file the uncontested divorce paperwork in my county with the waiver on appearance doc. 

90 days go by . I go through the prove- up on day 91, and we're divorced. 

She never stepped foot in the USA about this. 

 

She was a gold-collar worker (and I rarely talk about her here) but - we had agreed, on everything about the divorce.  

Sounds like your lass wants to fight, because of her insanity. 
OK - for divorce in most states - it's a 3 stage process - right ? 

1.  file the petition. 

2.  discovery/argument phase

3.  divorce judgement granted 

 

The person that files the petition controls the venue and the calendar  - make sure that it's you, filing as the petitioner.   You don't want to be the respondent, as filing things on her accusations when/if she is the petitioner can be costly for you, sometimes paying an attorney for the prep. 

 

You can initially file the divorce petition without an attorney - have an attorney added later, if in fact you need one. 

You can file the waiver of appearance anytime before step 3. 

 

When first filing the petition, check and see if your county/state has a template for claiming indigency - usually if yes, the filing fee is waived, or you have 60 days to prove up that you have no money to pay the fees. 

 

As I recall, if you place a restraining order on her and have a copy of said restraining order sent over to the port of entry prior to her arrival - the CBP officers will sit with her in a small room and have a quiet talk, ascertain if she seeks to do you bodily or grievous harm.  If they make the determination to be YES, then she won't be allowed to process out of the immigration and control point , she'll be turned around, invited to purchase a return ticket home.  It very well might be that they determine (rightly or wrongly) that she has intent to adjust her status after arrival in the USA, being married to a USA citizen already.  The officers don't like that - they will cancel her tourist visa and turn her around, suggesting her to purchase a ticket to return to China.  They will certainly do that if you have some contact, prior. 

 

You have any copies of her bio page of her current passport ?   

 

Apologies for the late reply - I just saw your first post, moments ago.   

[Boiler 45,884]

How would he know which PoE she would use?

[Darnell 8,479]

10 minutes ago, Boiler said:

How would he know which PoE she would use?

No, not you !  You don't live under a rock, and most likely, after reading all of this topic, already know the answer on 'how' .  No Strawman today ! No ! 

[Darnell 8,479]

small errata - replace 'white book' where 'red book' is in my reply.  Apologies, was a busy day.