The world’s most dangerous countries for women 2018

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10 minutes ago, yuna628 said:

Don't believe it would really help to drone on about what the current conservative nationalist party is doing with regard to identity politics. I'm fairly certain it wouldn't change your mind would it? Likely you'd disagree until the end of time and we'd get nowhere. Politics is politics, and both parties do it, when it suits their purposes. The usual method is stoking fear - fear of X doing something to a type of identity, fear of X identity changing for better or worse, fear of X identity having ulterior motives, and of course losing X type of identity. Everyone has an identity, and that is sometimes very important to people in ways from simple basic instincts to outright paranoia. It's an adversarial process, and it's effective in elections. To me, it's all a lot of useless noise in both directions.

 

Obviously victimhood is granulated and we have seen many examples where the discussion essentially becomes who has the most points. And for those who are not full time students and can keep up to date it is a difficult computation to make

 

There needs to be some way of calculating this so people know where they stand relative to others.

[Dashinka 24,803]

3 minutes ago, yuna628 said:

Don't believe it would really help to drone on about what the current conservative nationalist party is doing with regard to identity politics. I'm fairly certain it wouldn't change your mind would it? Likely you'd disagree until the end of time and we'd get nowhere. Politics is politics, and both parties do it, when it suits their purposes. The usual method is stoking fear - fear of X doing something to a type of identity, fear of X identity changing for better or worse, fear of X identity having ulterior motives, and of course losing X type of identity. Everyone has an identity, and that is sometimes very important to people in ways from simple basic instincts to outright paranoia. It's an adversarial process, and it's effective in elections. To me, it's all a lot of useless noise in both directions.

It may not change my mind, but it would prove your response was not simply a defection to justify what the Democrats are doing.  I am well aware of the Dems and their media allies war on women narrative which seems to have simmered down a bit lately, but like the Democrats constantly claiming all Republicans are racist, I am sure the GOP will also be ripe with claims of being sexist as well.

[yuna628 9,717]

50 minutes ago, Bill & Katya said:

It may not change my mind, but it would prove your response was not simply a defection to justify what the Democrats are doing.  I am well aware of the Dems and their media allies war on women narrative which seems to have simmered down a bit lately, but like the Democrats constantly claiming all Republicans are racist, I am sure the GOP will also be ripe with claims of being sexist as well.

A deflection to justify Democrats? I'm not a Democrat, and don't feel the need to justify anything. What I'm doing is making a straight-up observation about what both parties do in politics.. that's pretty much it.

[laylalex 7,300]

4 hours ago, Ban Hammer said:

why was the door closed?

 

2 hours ago, Nature Boy 2.0 said:

My take would be that when you went in his office and shut the door to discuss your relationship problems, with someone that was not your professor, at that point it was not a professional relationship, and you did agree to the meditation exercises

 

2 hours ago, Nature Boy 2.0 said:

My take would be that when you went in his office and shut the door to discuss your relationship problems, with someone that was not your professor, at that point it was not a professional relationship, and you did agree to the meditation exercises

Where did I say that the door was closed or that I shut the door? I said someone knocked on the door. The door was partially open, per department policy, and this STILL happened. 

 

I was 21, guys. I was really young, naive and way too trusting. I know that now I'm older. But you would put all the fault on me when I was basically still a kid? 

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2 minutes ago, laylalex said:

 

 

Where did I say that the door was closed or that I shut the door? I said someone knocked on the door. The door was partially open, per department policy, and this STILL happened. 

 

I was 21, guys. I was really young, naive and way too trusting. I know that now I'm older. But you would put all the fault on me when I was basically still a kid? 

Are you familiar with the Kavanaugh hearings?

 

[laylalex 7,300]

1 minute ago, Boiler said:

Are you familiar with the Kavanaugh hearings?

 

Yes, I am. If you are trying to draw a parallel between me and Justice Kavanaugh because we were both just kids, I do not appreciate it. 

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He was 17? He had not reached the age of majority, and that was no defence.

[laylalex 7,300]

Just now, Boiler said:

He was 17? He had not reached the age of majority, and that was no defence.

I am not giving my opinion on whether he did or did not do what he was accused of. Young people often do foolish things, put themselves in foolish situations, because they do not have enough experience in the world to understand what is acceptable and what is not. This is true of both boys and girls. I now understand that I may have created a situation or environment or whatever that the professor thought was an invitation after knowing each other for so long, and because I came to him for romantic advice. It was dumb! But as an adult -- he was an adult with the experience of an adult -- he should have been one to draw a boundary, say, "Layla, I don't feel this is appropriate." But he went the opposite direction. This just feels like victim blaming. 

[Boris Farage 353]

46 minutes ago, laylalex said:

 

 

Where did I say that the door was closed or that I shut the door? I said someone knocked on the door. The door was partially open, per department policy, and this STILL happened. 

 

I was 21, guys. I was really young, naive and way too trusting. I know that now I'm older. But you would put all the fault on me when I was basically still a kid? 

It seems the details of your encounter change with the wind, but in any case this Schrödinger's portal was in such a state as to provide an abnormal amount of privacy for a university professor and his student; enough privacy to require a knock.

 

Were you closer to say, eighteen, your "I was 21" argument might hold water. Twenty one? That's well beyond the age of consent anywhere. There are soldiers who have been in the military for four years by that age. Mark Zuckerberg was a CEO by twenty one. You were not a child. But you were right in your previous post... your unsavoury situation was much different to my own (as we have shown) honourable one. I of course don't know what your relationship with your ex is now, but if you are on speaking terms, it might be healing to discuss with him.

Edited August 1, 2019 by Boris Farage
phrasing

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

24 minutes ago, laylalex said:

This just feels like victim blaming. 

That's because it is. Even if that door was closed all the way, there was an imbalance of power between your cool prof and you. Sure, hanging out with Cool Prof may have seemed like an innocent thing to you, and maybe it was to him, too, for a while. But he should have known touching a student, even one that wasn't his own pupil, is a no-no. I've never been a professor, but I have been a graduate assistant, many, many years ago. Touching an undergrad was absolutely not a good idea, and that was back in 1997-98! (I was in the Drama Department too, and there were some very handsome young men in there... but alas rules and, um, a husband.)

 

Y'all shaming her... shame on you. 

 

xxmaven

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

9 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

It seems the details of your encounter change with the wind, but in any case this Schrödinger's portal was in such a state as to provide an abnormal amount of privacy for a university professor and his student; enough privacy to require a knock.

 

Were you closer to say, eighteen, your "I was 21" argument might hold water. Twenty one? That's well beyond the age of consent anywhere. There are soldiers who have been in the military for four years by that age. Mark Zuckerberg was a CEO by twenty one. You were not a child. But you were right in your previous post... your unsavoury situation was much different to my own (as we have shown) honourable one. I of course don't know what your relationship with your ex is now, but if you are on speaking terms with him, it might be healing to discuss with him.

You're fun. I don't get why you're single. Too bad the RUB forum's dead, you would have fit riiiiiiiiiigggghhhhtttttt in.

 

Peace out, babies. 

[laylalex 7,300]

22 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

It seems the details of your encounter change with the wind, but in any case this Schrödinger's portal was in such a state as to provide an abnormal amount of privacy for a university professor and his student; enough privacy to require a knock.

 

Were you closer to say, eighteen, your "I was 21" argument might hold water. Twenty one? That's well beyond the age of consent anywhere. There are soldiers who have been in the military for four years by that age. Mark Zuckerberg was a CEO by twenty one. You were not a child. But you were right in your previous post... your unsavoury situation was much different to my own (as we have shown) honourable one. I of course don't know what your relationship with your ex is now, but if you are on speaking terms, it might be healing to discuss with him.

How did they change? I never said the door was closed. I never said the door was open all the way. Am I supposed to provide a copy of the floor plan of the Art History department to show you what the offices looked like 12 years ago to show that it was perfectly possible to have the door open part way and not see inside without opening the door all the way?

 

And yes there ARE people who are mature, successful and tough at 21. I was not one of them. I had drifted through my life without much tragedy or real frustration. I know I am lucky. I went to a good public school, ended up at a great university after working hard to get there, spent a year abroad in a beautiful part of the world. I wasn't fighting wars or setting up companies or anything. I think it's more fair to think about it through that lens.

 

Thank you for your suggestion about contacting my ex. We aren't exactly friendly, but we do speak from time to time and he is friends with many of my friends. I know how to contact him. It may provide some closure to tell him what happened.

[Nature Boy 2.0 8,382]

1 hour ago, laylalex said:

Yes, I am. If you are trying to draw a parallel between me and Justice Kavanaugh because we were both just kids, I do not appreciate it. 

Of course not. Kavanaugh's story was fabricated. I dont think yours was. 

[laylalex 7,300]

2 hours ago, Nature Boy 2.0 said:

Of course not. Kavanaugh's story was fabricated. I dont think yours was. 

Thank you, although I'm not sure his was or wasn't. But this thread isn't really about that.

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Lena Dunham Sexually Assaulted Brad Pitt