FIANCEE ACTING-UP AFTER K1 VISA WAS GRANTED

[Unlockable 7,315]

*** Moved to "Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits"

 

VJ Moderation

[jeanieCZ 228]

2 minutes ago, Unlockable said:

See my reply above. Although fighting to save a relationship may sound like the right thing to do. It is not as easy as you think when in the situation of the poster.

I don't know how you concluded that I was saying it was easy, I said nothing of the kind. 

[Timona 4,208]

Waiting on the OP to give feedback. 

 

OP being Nigerian,  I won't be surprised if he attempts to get to the States and go AWOL, basically to use this opportunity as entry. 

Edited July 22, 2019 by Timona

[juggy_11 18]

5 hours ago, Favour08 said:

All efforts to makeup and settle issues with her has not been positive.

 

Hard to give advice on your specific situation, but based on my experience, there are issues in a relationship that are hard to fix when you're long distance. It seems she's pretty serious about no longer wanting you in her life, but I wonder if this problem is just due to distance that could easily be fixed with physical presence. 

 

It does sound like you've made tremendous effort in fixing things, however. If you feel it's not worth the time and energy, then there's no use coming to the USA. Even if you do end up coming to the US, you'll still have to marry her within 90 days. Ask yourself this question -- do you want a wife who is not willing to compromise? That's a life of hell, in my opinion.

Edited July 22, 2019 by juggy_11

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

    If she is sure about not wanting a relationship there is a good chance she has notified immigration that the relationship is over.   If you show up at the airport , with your affairs in Nigeria all tied up like you are coming forever and present the K1 visa they may know that the relationship has been declared dead ( and that you should also know )  and put markers in your immigration file that make is very hard to have a chance at another visa of any type.  Not every engagement in the US ends up with couples walking down the isle.  Why try to push a woman that has changed her mind into changing it back.  Even if it works for a bit , who knows when it will turn again .  You could find yourself here with your paycheck being sent to children that you aren't raising.  Be patient, if it is in the cards for you to come a new path will open. 

[Elif_and_Greg 164]

2 hours ago, canadian_wife said:

 

WHOA!  You don't know what's going on.  Let's not make snap judgements. 

 

 

That seems like a perfectly legit question to consider. Hardly a snap judgment or even a regular judgment. If my fiance suddenly changed her mind I would at least consider that's what happened, among other things. 

[SunflowerSweet 1,321]

Would you be running to the US to attempt to save your relationship with your fiancé, or to save your path to US residency? 

 

The ball is in her court right now. If she no longer wishes to continue the relationship, you cannot force her to return feelings she doesn’t have. Showing up at her doorstep if she has indicated she does not want you in her life is a really aggressive step, and I assure you it does not play out as well in reality as it does in a romantic comedy. 

 

It could just be a language issue, but the use of “acting up” when talking about your fiancés behavior rubs me the wrong way.

Edited July 22, 2019 by MorganandMichael

[dentsflogged 352]

4 minutes ago, MorganandMichael said:

Would you be running to the US to attempt to save your relationship with your fiancé, or to save your path to US residency? 

 

The ball is in her court right now. If she no longer wishes to continue the relationship, you cannot force her to return feelings she doesn’t have. Showing up at her doorstep if she has indicated she does not want you in her life is a really aggressive step and I assure you it does not okay out as well in reality as it does in a romantic comedy. 

 

It could just be a language issue, but the use of “acting up” when talking about your fiancés behavior rubs me the wrong way.

Totally agreed on this.  The fact that OP is even considering getting a lawyer really indicates that they're in it for the green card, not for love. 

OP if she says you shouldn't go - then thats what it means.  A "grand" gesture like getting on a plane and just showing up will not be welcome, appreciated or wanted. That is the very definition of gross, creepy behavior and as much of a red flag as your use of "acting up" - she is a grown woman and can act in any way she wants to without your permission or approval. 

IMO this lady got out while the going was good. No one wants to be married to a misogynist who rebukes their spouse's behaviour online while simultaneously planning on violating the boundaries set by their spouse. 

Edited July 22, 2019 by dentsflogged

[Daphne . 1,913]

6 hours ago, Favour08 said:

 

  

Please advice:

1) Should I travel to USA and see if she will resolve matter with me by the time she see my physical presence?

2) Should I travel to USA and hire an immigrant lawyer to advise on other options

3) Please what exactly should I do???

 

 

I am not even sure if you would be admitted to the US at point of entry if she withdraws everything? 

Regardless of whether or not it would be a wise thing to do (which I don't think it is), I am not even sure if you could do it?

 

I hope the issues will be resolved soon and that all will be well soon...

Edited July 22, 2019 by Daphne K

[DylanandLaura 46]

28 minutes ago, MorganandMichael said:

Would you be running to the US to attempt to save your relationship with your fiancé, or to save your path to US residency? 

 

The ball is in her court right now. If she no longer wishes to continue the relationship, you cannot force her to return feelings she doesn’t have. Showing up at her doorstep if she has indicated she does not want you in her life is a really aggressive step, and I assure you it does not play out as well in reality as it does in a romantic comedy. 

 

It could just be a language issue, but the use of “acting up” when talking about your fiancés behavior rubs me the wrong way.

I was in a long distance relationship under similar circumstances with a K1 filed (However, I was the petitioner)... Fiance called me one day said she no longer loved me, without reason. Traveled to Europe the next week trying to fix the relationship and lets just say it ended really really badly...

 

The worst thing the OP can do is show up in the states and tell an Immigration officer they have intentions to marry the Petitioner because it could be considered immigration fraud. If it can't be resolved over the phone, it won't make the situation better in person. It is likely the Petitioner will or did cancel the K-1 via sending an email or document to the USCIS saying they don't have intentions to marry this person anymore. Once that letter is received by the USCIS there is no taking it back, it is final.

 

I'm sorry for the OP because the hardest thing to do is come to terms with the relationship being over and just moving on with your life in your home country. There will be someone else for them in the future and it will be possible to apply for a different visa to the US because a K1 that is not issued doesn't have bearing on a different visa application under this circumstance. 

[jeanieCZ 228]

So I don't really understand if the primary goal of the OP is to save his relationship or to be able to live in the US.

[Unlockable 7,315]

23 minutes ago, jeaniecz said:

So I don't really understand if the primary goal of the OP is to save his relationship or to be able to live in the US.

None of us do.

 

But the point is it doesn't matter what the OP's main goal is. Whether to save the relationship or find a way to live in the USA, using a K1 tied to a relationship that is no longer existent, may have serious consequences. This is simply what we are trying to make the OP realize.

[Elif_and_Greg 164]

26 minutes ago, jeaniecz said:

So I don't really understand if the primary goal of the OP is to save his relationship or to be able to live in the US.

I doubt he's really looking for advice on how to patch up the relationship, but is more interested for the sake of this thread anyway, as to whether all his efforts to get the visa were in vain. Wondering if he could still salvage something out of the visa itself. Just my intuition. 

 

Horrible situation either way. For my own entertainment I wish I had all the details of how it all went awry. 

[debbiedoo 2,339]

For whatever reason, she does not want to marry you.

 

move on.

 

 

in your country.

[Going through 5,671]

@Favour08 will hopefully comment again on this thread, as he's been reading the responses.  Wish him luck in the future.

 

I would also suggest seeing if you can find out if your fiancee has withdrawn/cancelled anything on her side..  That will tell you a lot about whether it's time to move on or not, for certain.

 

 

Edited July 22, 2019 by Going through