Annoying

[Blessedmale 3]

It is very annoying when people need your help to go through their visa process and after you help them to get the visa they ignore you and never talk to you again . These attitude from some of these Ghanaians are the reason why we sometimes watch them go to the interview and get denied even though we can help them and knows how best to present your case . Some are so ungrateful forgetting the fact that there is adjustment of status ahead even removing of conditions and filling for citizenship . There are a lot of situations here in America that you will need someone to give you tips. Your spouse can change at any seconds . Some of these petitioners may want you to stay away from everybody but don’t be deceive . If you don’t take care . You will be treated like a slave with no freedom so far as they know you don’t have anybody to advice you or be your friend 

[Going through 5,671]

I see this thread imploding shortly.  Before it does, my thoughts:

 

All you can do is help people with no thought of what you may get in return, or feel that you should get something in return, in my opinion.  If they never speak to you again, comfort yourself in the knowledge that you were a good person by trying to help someone else.

[SalishSea 18,125]

9 minutes ago, Blessedmale said:

It is very annoying when people need your help to go through their visa process and after you help them to get the visa they ignore you and never talk to you again . These attitude from some of these Ghanaians are the reason why we sometimes watch them go to the interview and get denied even though we can help them and knows how best to present your case . Some are so ungrateful forgetting the fact that there is adjustment of status ahead even removing of conditions and filling for citizenship . There are a lot of situations here in America that you will need someone to give you tips. Your spouse can change at any seconds . Some of these petitioners may want you to stay away from everybody but don’t be deceive . If you don’t take care . You will be treated like a slave with no freedom so far as they know you don’t have anybody to advice you or be your friend 

I am sorry to hear that you may have had some bad experiences.  Some people suck, the world over.  No one who lives in America in 2019 should ever be treated like or fee like a slave.

[Blessedmale 3]

11 minutes ago, Going through said:

I see this thread imploding shortly.  Before it does, my thoughts:

 

All you can do is help people with no thought of what you may get in return, or feel that you should get something in return, in my opinion.  If they never speak to you again, comfort yourself in the knowledge that you were a good person by trying to help someone else.

It is just annoying when you figured out that you have been used . They approach you like a friend because they want something from you and after they get it . Sometimes to say thank you is hard for them . We don’t need anything from them but to sacrifice your time for people in this busy country and you figured out that you were only used . It sucks 

Edited July 22, 2019 by Blessedmale

[Blessedmale 3]

9 minutes ago, Jorgedig said:

I am sorry to hear that you may have had some bad experiences.  Some people suck, the world over.  No one who lives in America in 2019 should ever be treated like or fee like a slave.

A lot of beneficiaries are going through so much pain . Some petitioners feel like they own you after you get here . I am lucky not to experience that . But there are a lot of people suffering here 

[SalishSea 18,125]

1 minute ago, Blessedmale said:

A lot of beneficiaries are going through so much pain . Some petitioners feel like they own you after you get here . I am lucky not to experience that . But there are a lot of people suffering here 

The opposite can be true too:  petitioners being used by beneficiaries.  US immigration has a lonnnnng history of that.

[Blessedmale 3]

Just now, Jorgedig said:

The opposite can be true too:  petitioners being used by beneficiaries.  US immigration has a lonnnnng history of that.

Yes . It is . I always suspect those ungrateful beneficiaries. If they are not grateful for your help . How can they be grateful to the petitioners . Some beneficiaries are just desperate to travel and they don’t care who they used to get there 

[Going through 5,671]

34 minutes ago, Blessedmale said:

It is just annoying when you figured out that you have been used . They approach you like a friend because they want something from you and after they get it . Sometimes to say thank you is hard for them . We don’t need anything from them but to sacrifice your time for people in this busy country and you figured out that you were only used . It sucks 

Then you know better for the next time someone asks you for advice on how to immigrate/get a visa.

 

People from all walks of life are unfortunately going to use someone else to get what they want---not only immigration-wise but in any instance, and without saying a thankyou.  

 

I get you feel used, and I'm sorry you lost your time and energy to whomever it was you were trying to help with your experience/knowledge.  It sucks, yes. 

And it happens with people in every country---not just some people from Ghana.

 

I'm curious---what were you hoping for in return?  I'm not being snarky, asking genuinely---were you hoping a friendship would come out of it?  I'm trying to get a feel for details in your situation---was this someone you already knew personally, or an online person (like on VJ or elsewhere) constantly messaging you asking questions that took your time in researching answers, someone you petitioned for/wrote an affidavit/co-sponsored in the past, etc.?

 

Hopefully it wasn't a close friend or family member who used you, that makes the situation ten times worse.

[Blessedmale 3]

37 minutes ago, Going through said:

Then you know better for the next time someone asks you for advice on how to immigrate/get a visa.

 

People from all walks of life are unfortunately going to use someone else to get what they want---not only immigration-wise but in any instance, and without saying a thankyou.  

 

I get you feel used, and I'm sorry you lost your time and energy to whomever it was you were trying to help with your experience/knowledge.  It sucks, yes. 

And it happens with people in every country---not just some people from Ghana.

 

I'm curious---what were you hoping for in return?  I'm not being snarky, asking genuinely---were you hoping a friendship would come out of it?  I'm trying to get a feel for details in your situation---was this someone you already knew personally, or an online person (like on VJ or elsewhere) constantly messaging you asking questions that took your time in researching answers, someone you petitioned for/wrote an affidavit/co-sponsored in the past, etc.?

 

Hopefully it wasn't a close friend or family member who used you, that makes the situation ten times worse.

I never wanted anything from them . My problem is that they establish friendship with you so that you can trust them . Then they will start asking you questions , video calls and full guidelines to them . Sometimes their petitioner get involved and the time you are supposed to be with your partner here . You waste it on them to ensure they get approved . Once they get approved . Then they disappear . There is this guy who I spend my time with him and even the day before the interview we video chat all night to help him arrange documents , interview him , editing his things and ensure everything looks legitimate . After the approval . He wanted me to help his friend which I said no . He stop communicating with me . When he came to the USA . He started maltreating the petitioner . Even had a child with another lady back in Ghana and the baby mama was still in relationship with the guy . I have help a lot and it all turns out that way . They are just desperate to travel and I feel sorry for their petitioners because they are just pretending . They lack gratitude  . Any person who lacks gratitude can never appreciate what their partners have done for them. All they care about is living in America . They think money grows on trees 

Edited July 22, 2019 by Blessedmale

[Unlockable 7,315]

*** Moved from K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & Procedures to "Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits" as this is not K1 process related.

 

VJ Moderation

[Going through 5,671]

55 minutes ago, Blessedmale said:

I never wanted anything from them . My problem is that they establish friendship with you so that you can trust them . Then they will start asking you questions , video calls and full guidelines to them . Sometimes their petitioner get involved and the time you are supposed to be with your partner here . You waste it on them to ensure they get approved . Once they get approved . Then they disappear .

Ah, ok, I gotcha.  Yeah, it can happen---you put in time, energy and perhaps research answering questions..se.it's like on the forums when a person will look up policies/rules/etc. to make sure they are giving the right information to honestly help someone from making the wrong decision.   I get messages from people a lot on here asking questions...I think many of the long-time members do---I help when I can and how I can.  If I don't know the answer to a question, or it's a simple question---I'll refer them elsewhere.  

 

Don't let it take time away from yourself, or any obligations you have though.  Some people do expect others to hold their hand through every single part of the immigration process though without doing even an ounce of research themselves, especially if it's a rather simple question answered by a quick google search...that can get tiresome.  

 

I try to keep in mind how overwhelming everything seemed to me when I was first starting my immigration journey, and researching things/filling out forms/etc.  It's good that you are the kind of person who wants to help others---it's a great quality to have.

[The_Empyrean 733]

It's not only one "nationals" that do that. People all around the world do that. It does suck indeed.

The older you get, the more you notice the intent of people around you. That's exactly why you start out with "hundreds of friends" when you're in school and end up with 2-4 when you hit 30's. At least that my case. Don't think about it, distance yourself from them, and guess what, if they needed all that help to get something from you, if anything pops up, they'll be back. Remind them what happened and tell them to go to hell, and block.  

Immigration is especially not fair. Friend of my wife came on ESTA and adjusted, and we did K-1. She has green card already (filed a day before we did), and we don't even have EAD, so that's that. I don't believe in god, or any other entity, but life will catch up on them sooner or later. 

[JeanneAdil 6,620]

yes,  it is not right to ever forget what a friend does to help

but you helped a man  "with a woman and child back in Ghana"  come to the US and you knew this

this is also not right / he was clearly green card shopping

let's hope he does not marry and divorce her to try to bring the Ghanian woman here / that is fraud and you could be part of it

more than likely he is not communicating with you as he is afraid you will tell all to his USC gf/wife

[Ivie & Eguagie 119]

We can relate this to visajourney.com as an immigration community which needs help and resources from its members to keep it going. So many people come on here, ask questions, get answers and supports from members - once visa is in their hands and they made entrance to the US, that's the last time they will come here - some even delete their accounts and forget their experiences would have been useful to this community if they had stayed to help others like they were helped.

 

If everyone disappears from here once they have whatever immigration benefits they are filing for, will this platform still function to its full capacity? 

 

But then, people are going to be people no matter what. That's life. 

 

 

[Dashinka 24,767]

My take is that if one is here (VJ) or anywhere else helping others through the immigration process expecting anything more than a thank you is wrong.  I know I don't ever expect anything more than that of those I help out away from here and of course sometimes I don't even get that, but I don't let it bother me.  It is sort of like my time as a volunteer firefighter, I never expected anything more than thank you.