OPINIONS NEEDED: Affidavit from Citizen Spouse - I751 Waiver

[PolarPear 8]

6 minutes ago, Going through said:

Why does your lawyer think you need an affidavit from your ex?

It's just best to have it. Me and my wife had a rocky marriage. She will sometimes say I will tell uscis you married me for wrong reasons and complain on me. Then one day she's really nice. She's called the cops on me and gotten me arrested (dismissed). She keeps pushing to not get a divorce but i know she can and will do something stupid like call the cops on me again. 

[Going through 5,671]

23 minutes ago, PolarPear said:

It's just best to have it. Me and my wife had a rocky marriage. She will sometimes say I will tell uscis you married me for wrong reasons and complain on me. Then one day she's really nice. She's called the cops on me and gotten me arrested (dismissed). She keeps pushing to not get a divorce but i know she can and will do something stupid like call the cops on me again. 

Seems to me that including the ex's affidavit is (again) including her in your ROC process when you can just further distance yourself from having her involved in the process at all....I'm not you though, so perhaps you feel the need to have her participation in it still....but you don't have to.

 

Plus you're also giving her something to forever hold over your head if she's moody as you say she is....I predict her saying quite frequently in the future something like "If it weren't for my affidavit, you wouldn't have the 10-year GC"....and later on...."If it weren't for my affidavit during ROC, you wouldn't have become a citizen!".  And then there's also the possibility of her constantly threatening to "retract her affidavit" or whatever and try to hold that over your head for at least a year or so as the i-751 processes.

 

My point is that you have a real opportunity in your hands to completely wipe her from any part of your immigration process going forward...I guess, if she's like you say she is, I don't understand why you would want to draw her back into the fold and continue to give her any (if only perceived) power over you? 

 

Personally I would not put any part of my future immigration in the hands of someone unstable that I was ending/ended a relationship with, but of course it's your choice---your immigration journey.

Edited July 6, 2019 by Going through

[PolarPear 8]

49 minutes ago, Going through said:

Seems to me that including the ex's affidavit is (again) including her in your ROC process when you can just further distance yourself from having her involved in the process at all....I'm not you though, so perhaps you feel the need to have her participation in it still....but you don't have to.

 

Plus you're also giving her something to forever hold over your head if she's moody as you say she is....I predict her saying quite frequently in the future something like "If it weren't for my affidavit, you wouldn't have the 10-year GC"....and later on...."If it weren't for my affidavit during ROC, you wouldn't have become a citizen!".  And then there's also the possibility of her constantly threatening to "retract her affidavit" or whatever and try to hold that over your head for at least a year or so as the i-751 processes.

 

My point is that you have a real opportunity in your hands to completely wipe her from any part of your immigration process going forward...I guess, if she's like you say she is, I don't understand why you would want to draw her back into the fold and continue to give her any (if only perceived) power over you? 

 

Personally I would not put any part of my future immigration in the hands of someone unstable that I was ending/ended a relationship with, but of course it's your choice---your immigration journey.

Since I know my wife, I feel as, she won't be able to say anything else other than what she wrote already. I feel ( I can be wrong), I don't think she will send any stupid false complaint now. 

 

What I don't like on this affidavit is that she keeps saying I wanted to keep the marriage alive but I said no. Mostly true, but I feel like it makes me look bad. I'm truly afraid of her from getting me in trouble again. She would have a random bruise and when she gets mad she would say I'd tell the cops you did this

[Canerican 242]

51 minutes ago, PolarPear said:

Since I know my wife, I feel as, she won't be able to say anything else other than what she wrote already. I feel ( I can be wrong), I don't think she will send any stupid false complaint now. 

 

What I don't like on this affidavit is that she keeps saying I wanted to keep the marriage alive but I said no. Mostly true, but I feel like it makes me look bad. I'm truly afraid of her from getting me in trouble again. She would have a random bruise and when she gets mad she would say I'd tell the cops you did this

As others have posted I would not submit that affidavit and have her hold your immigration status over your head. I believe, that if you have everything you need to prove the marriage was entered in good faith (co-mingling of finances such as bank accounts, joint tax returns, etc), you should be good to apply for ROC via divorce waiver. Good luck on making your decision. 

[Ontarkie 14,218]

That letter will have no impact on your ROC. Submit it or not it will make no different. It was your lawyer that wrote it up. They will not take it into consideration as it could have been under duress. Just like they will not take any calls/letters she makes to them as it could be out of anger and hold no truth.  Your soon to be ex wife cannot do anything unless she has 100% proof of fraud.  You filled for divorce, you moved out how is she going to make up that you are abusing her now? File and forget about it. 

[Going through 5,671]

3 hours ago, Paul & Mary said:

Either lack of primary evidence or ability to pay for a lawyer.

That's what I usually assume too...but given the list the OP gave before about having bank statements, leases, tax filings, bills, car insurance statements, health insurance statements....seems odd a lawyer would suggest an affidavit from the ex as a good focal point, which is why I was curious.

 

But, true, it's his money.  Wonder how much the lawyer charged to write up that letter?

[carmel34 3,624]

I wouldn't include the affidavit with the ROC application.  It doesn't add anything to your claim that the marriage was entered into in good faith, and some officers reading it could interpret it as evidence that you got married only so you could be with your family in the US.  Plus you have domestic violence arrests on your record?  I would be more concerned about those two issues moving forward and forget about the affidavit.

[PolarPear 8]

2 minutes ago, carmel34 said:

I wouldn't include the affidavit with the ROC application.  It doesn't add anything to your claim that the marriage was entered into in good faith, and some officers reading it could interpret it as evidence that you got married only so you could be with your family in the US.  Plus you have domestic violence arrests on your record?  I would be more concerned about those two issues moving forward and forget about the affidavit.

I been here since I was like 7 years old. Then I was on DACA for a couple years. 

 

Yes the case was dismissed. I never even had to go to court, the prosecutor never filed the case but the arrest is still there. My attorney said to turn in the arrest record and dismissal record. Where it shows what the cop typed in and the Incidenr. 

[PolarPear 8]

2 hours ago, Going through said:

That's what I usually assume too...but given the list the OP gave before about having bank statements, leases, tax filings, bills, car insurance statements, health insurance statements....seems odd a lawyer would suggest an affidavit from the ex as a good focal point, which is why I was curious.

 

But, true, it's his money.  Wonder how much the lawyer charged to write up that letter?

He was my lawyer for the i-485 and came to my first interview. He does not charge extra to charge on the phone or email. He's fees are $1250 if filing jointly or $3000 with waiver. He says I always include an affidavit from either the USC spouse but she's/he's not willing to, one of her family member is preferred 

[Boris Farage 353]

8 hours ago, PolarPear said:

Since I know my wife, I feel as, she won't be able to say anything else other than what she wrote already. I feel ( I can be wrong), I don't think she will send any stupid false complaint now. 

 

What I don't like on this affidavit is that she keeps saying I wanted to keep the marriage alive but I said no. Mostly true, but I feel like it makes me look bad. I'm truly afraid of her from getting me in trouble again. She would have a random bruise and when she gets mad she would say I'd tell the cops you did this

Just some advice on the other side of a divorce from an unreasonable person: don't trust your soon-to-be ex not to mess (a politer word than I am thinking) it all up for you. It can shock you what a person who you once loved and who claimed to love you can do in revenge. It can be petty or it can be serious. You 'think' and 'feel' she won't do something stupid or to make you look bad but you don't know for certain. This is someone who made up false claims about you to the police. 

 

Be careful. Minimize contact until this is all over, get what you need from her in terms of documents but if you can do it through attorneys, all the better. 

[PolarPear 8]

10 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

Just some advice on the other side of a divorce from an unreasonable person: don't trust your soon-to-be ex not to mess (a politer word than I am thinking) it all up for you. It can shock you what a person who you once loved and who claimed to love you can do in revenge. It can be petty or it can be serious. You 'think' and 'feel' she won't do something stupid or to make you look bad but you don't know for certain. This is someone who made up false claims about you to the police. 

 

Be careful. Minimize contact until this is all over, get what you need from her in terms of documents but if you can do it through attorneys, all the better. 

Thank you for this advice. Do you think this affidavit should be sent in?

[Canerican 242]

5 hours ago, PolarPear said:

Thank you for this advice. Do you think this affidavit should be sent in?

Everyone has told you that you should not send in the affidavit as it is secondary evidence and useless. Get your divorce, file I-751 with a divorce waiver, and send in all proof that you entered into your marriage in good faith. Also send them a copy of the divorce decree. Whether you choose to use your lawyer or not is up to you, but in my opinion, you don’t need one. 

[Villanelle 4,122]

On 7/6/2019 at 3:11 PM, PolarPear said:

It's just best to have it. Me and my wife had a rocky marriage. She will sometimes say I will tell uscis you married me for wrong reasons and complain on me. Then one day she's really nice. She's called the cops on me and gotten me arrested (dismissed). She keeps pushing to not get a divorce but i know she can and will do something stupid like call the cops on me again. 

Do NOT include her affidavit and be very careful to double check any advice received from an attny. 

 

Anyway do not submit it because of how unstable your marriage was and your ex is. In ROC cases where it is filed with a waiver USCIS can NOT contact the ex. IF you include a statement from the ex then you are allowing USCIS to contact her if they choose to verify her statement. Do not open this door. 

[Boris Farage 353]

On 7/6/2019 at 10:33 PM, PolarPear said:

Thank you for this advice. Do you think this affidavit should be sent in?

Late to the party on this one, but I agree with the others that the affidavit should not be sent in. An unstable ex with an axe to grind cannot be trusted, even if she seems somewhat reasonable on one particular day. I kept my ex well away from my naturalization application even though she offered to "help." Also agree with the advice to check on the advice your attorney is giving you, don't blindly trust what he or she is saying to you. 

[PolarPear 8]

59 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

Late to the party on this one, but I agree with the others that the affidavit should not be sent in. An unstable ex with an axe to grind cannot be trusted, even if she seems somewhat reasonable on one particular day. I kept my ex well away from my naturalization application even though she offered to "help." Also agree with the advice to check on the advice your attorney is giving you, don't blindly trust what he or she is saying to you. 

Guys, I'm getting different answers from everyone (forum and people in real life). Just listen me out on this one:

 

1. My wife already went to the lawyer with me and signed this affidavit, send it or not, she will think she helped me. This concern is out of the window. 

 

2. Yes, my wife is not stable. If I were to send this affidavit in AND let's say 11 months from now she feels the need to send a complaint to USCIS, this affidavit will contradict what she's saying. Only helping me. Right or wrong? 

 

3. By my wife signing this, it has lowered the chances of her sending in a complaint because she knows she already said this, so there's no changing it. Yes, I UNDERSTAND, she still can but she FEELS as if she would get in trouble if she contradicts this. It's all her mindset.

 

4. I spoke with my lawyer shortly over the phone, I said what do you think about not sending this in? He said in my 18 years of experience; I have always sent in a affidavit from the husband and wife on a waiver case (if the USC spouse was willing  to obviously). 

 

4. ( Continued) I spoke to my lawyer shortly over the phone and I mentioned to him, "why send this affidavit? It's only raising more questions. What if they call my wife to verify what's she's saying is correct?" ----he said ---immigration "does not pick up the phone and call people. They only care about if the marriage is a fraud, they do not care about your marriage issues"

 

5. The affidavit basically proves (yes it doesn't hold that much value), that we dated, our family members know about us / our issues, she knows my parents, I know hers etc. 

Edited July 9, 2019 by PolarPear