Divorce Waiver + Arrested

[PolarPear 8]

Hey guys, I got married almost three years ago. Last year, my wife went through my phone and found old photos of me with girls before we were married. Long story short, she's a very jealous person. When she's mad, she doesn't let me sleep and I have been emotionally tortured for sometime now. (not letting me sleep, hiding my car keys in the morning so im late to work, putting salt in my protein powder/food, throwing my clothes away, and much more I can't say). Long story short, i left the apartment & she called the cops that I was hitting her. They pulled me over and I got arrested for domestic violence even though she told the cops she does not want to press charges that exact day.  Two months later, the charges got dropped. I never went to a court or hearing, the prosecutor never filed it and dismissed it. Wife tells me the day after I get out of jail "I called them to scare you, im sorry"...Anyways, I give this marriage another shot even though I was depressed but ever since I have been living my life on the edge. For example, she would have a random bruise on her leg and she would joke I can tell the cops it was you...She believes "women win everything so watch out"...she's scary sometimes...Anyways, I don't want to live with her anymore, my life has already been shook with one arrest, I don't need another one in my life. My wife is a nice person but just a very jealous and angry one. She is pushing me to continue the relationship and sometimes threatens me to tell on immigration that "you married me for papers"...Right now we are on good terms but I won't be surprised if she sends a letter to uscis in the next year or so. 

 

I just wanted your opinions. We are trying to end on good terms. I am filing for divorce later this month and will be filing my divorce waiver in September. What I will turn in:

• 3 years of tax returns
• 3 years of apartment lease
• 3 international vacation trips
• Join health insurance
• A lot of photos (thanksgiving, christmas, new years etc..)
• 3 years of bank account statements
• 2-3 years of joint car insurances
• My arrest records ...  😢  (states I got arrested in / around our apartment)

What do you guys think? Please let me know, i'm in need of some opinions. I'm very lost...Should I file for divorce? I'm just scared...I've been in USA since 4th grade and now Im in my mid-twenties. 

Edited June 18, 2019 by PolarPear

[Going through 5,671]

First piece of advice:  Whatever proof/evidence you plan to send in---make copies/download and print whatever you need to print/etc. and secure it in a safe location outside of your marital home now along with your passport and any other ID.  Keep it in a safety deposit box at a bank, with a friend, whatever.  She may be all sweet and on good terms today, but from what you've said (and we only know your side) it sounds like she can switch on a dime and try to destroy any documents you plan on using.

 

Second piece of advice:   Once you've filed for divorce/move out---unless you have children and need to speak to her regarding them, do not have any contact with her unless through a lawyer.  Do not be physically alone with her at any time.  If she can file false charges once, she can do it again....so don't give her that opportunity.

 

 

[cd37 229]

The way you have explained, it doesnt look like you are going to separate in good terms. I wouldnt live with woman who got me arrested to get me scared. My rule of thumb,  If it happens once, it can happen again and in your case if she files domestic violance charges again then you will very well be in jail for long time even if you havent done anything. Nobody will believe you and courts are already againts men. So my advise is get yourself an apartment and file for divorce. Also keep your documents and copies in bank locker/safe. 

[Ash.1101 1,756]

10 minutes ago, Going through said:

First piece of advice:  Whatever proof/evidence you plan to send in---make copies/download and print whatever you need to print/etc. and secure it in a safe location outside of your marital home now along with your passport and any other ID.  Keep it in a safety deposit box at a bank, with a friend, whatever.  She may be all sweet and on good terms today, but from what you've said (and we only know your side) it sounds like she can switch on a dime and try to destroy any documents you plan on using.

 

Second piece of advice:   Once you've filed for divorce/move out---unless you have children and need to speak to her regarding them, do not have any contact with her unless through a lawyer.  Do not be physically alone with her at any time.  If she can file false charges once, she can do it again....so don't give her that opportunity.

 

 

Agree'd.

If for any reason you have to talk to you, do it with the lawyer or do it on text message. Do not talk to her in person, do not talk to her on the phone, only talk to her where the conversations can be documented or mediated.

Your proof is much stronger than a lot of people with divorce waivers, protect that paperwork. Scan your proof and save it on a USB drive you can keep with you or send to say a private work e-mail that she may not have access too..

Go for it, move on with your life, but do NOT talk to her.

[PolarPear 8]

Thanks for the advice guys. The arrest incident was almost 8 months ago.. We literally moved back in the day after I got back from jail. She knew I was depressed about it and was very helpful...but when she would get mad, she would use it against me. Even after that, we went on vacation but all these threats just added up and I'm just filing a divorce. 

 

Thank you for the advice about the paperwork...she would throw magazines and any bill she can find in the house (only when she's mad)...I have a copy of everything saved. I've been very careful with that, as my attorney has given me the same exact advice. 

[PolarPear 8]

56 minutes ago, Going through said:

First piece of advice:  Whatever proof/evidence you plan to send in---make copies/download and print whatever you need to print/etc. and secure it in a safe location outside of your marital home now along with your passport and any other ID.  Keep it in a safety deposit box at a bank, with a friend, whatever.  She may be all sweet and on good terms today, but from what you've said (and we only know your side) it sounds like she can switch on a dime and try to destroy any documents you plan on using.

 

Second piece of advice:   Once you've filed for divorce/move out---unless you have children and need to speak to her regarding them, do not have any contact with her unless through a lawyer.  Do not be physically alone with her at any time.  If she can file false charges once, she can do it again....so don't give her that opportunity.

 

 

You could not say it any better. Read my mind "she may be all sweet and on good terms today, but from what you've said (and we only know your side) it sounds like she can switch on a dime and try to destroy any documents you plan on using."