Divorce before expiration of conditional Green Card advice

[bbeaan 0]

Hello, 

 

I need advice about what I should do and what are my options.

 

So I met my husband in 2014 while I was on summer exchange program. We used to work together. I wasn't really interested as I didn't consider long distance relationship so it was more just fun. The following year I came again, he picked me up from the airport and we continued to hangout throughout the summer. I still didn't really consider it as smith serious for the same reasons. Too far. Though of course I liked to be around him, otherwise why would I do this. We continued talking when I was back to my country and he really wanted me to visit him again. But it was awkward to me to come again. And invited him to my country. And he agreed! And started a long visa process (he needed visa to visit my country). Finally he got it and planned his trip for beginning of 2017. He came to visit for two weeks. And those two weeks were great! And I could tell he is taking me serious and I started to take him serious too. He made a huge move! I introduced him to my family and everybody seemed to like him. We flew out to other city in my country for a weekend and he proposed with a ring. And I said yes. If we could live together then its great! My main reason why I didn't take it all serious in the beginning no longer exist. So we spent two weeks together and he left... As soon as he came back to USA he filed a petition so I could apply for K1 visa. The petition was approved and in September my visa was also approved. In December,  2017 I came to US to live with my husband. We went for holidays to meet his huge family  and then came back to the state where he lived. We lived with a roommate and it was actually hard. We got married in January, 2018 and I filed my petition for GC. So we were living with a roommate and it was not easy. And I was not added on the lease either because we didn't want to pay more. We went through lots of stuff In February, 2019. I almost got raped at some place while I was where with my friends (long story doesn't really matter) and then I got sick with complications. It took me for about 2 months to finally recover. My husband had evening shifts so it was feeling really bad and lonely in the evenings. For a moment I thought I would just go back to my country. As it was difficult to handle. I also didn't live with my husband before so it took time to adjust to him and I really loved him and wanted to work it out. 

In June (in 6 months after filing) we had out interviews and we really didn't have any proof besides photos and chats. And out trip to his family. I mean what else I was suppose to have? I couldn't have a job or anything. We were approved but she said we need more prove on our next interview. When she asked why we decided to move to USA and not stay in other country, my husband said that I wanted to live in USA which is not really truth. I liked the country but I would never move here without a bug reason and the reason was him. I had a really good job back to my country. I am actually a medical doctor... Everything was settled there.

So we got approved. Then we got a common account and also a common credit card. In October we moved to our place and it was so nice!!!!! Ah... Hahah such a big difference and I also got a job so it got so way better! everything was so good for a while I coudln't feel any happier!

But

So my husband he is a weed smoker but I never liked it. It was ok for me if he smoked once in a while but since I got a new job and started to travel for my job, the amount of weed he smoked increased. Now he smokes every day..... Looks like while I didn't have a job I just "controlled" him but now.... We started to fight about it a lot but nothing changed. Expect that we got even a notice that someone is smoking in our apartment!! And he really doesn't care. Everytime we try to talk and discuss smth he never wants to talk says everything is fine and I am just overdramatic. He can just start to ignore me. And I become emotionally unstable. Because instead of a dialogue my husband just ignores me and I have so many weird thoughts! I started to go to the counselor... When I asked him if he wanna come with me he said that he doesn't have a problem and if someone has a problem is me. He sees just his point of you.. And if anything happens he just blames me. If he drops something it's just because I was not supposed to put it. And I starter to blame myself for everything too. But I can't go on like that. That drives me crazy! If he is not right, and I try to talk he ignores me and then show up late without saying anything. And goes smoke weed right away! 

So I decided to be like him and just did my stuff, worked met with friends. And he thought that I am doing smth bad and instead of talking he registered on a dating app.... It happened just like a few days ago. IT is so disrespectful!!!!!!! I saw that on the history in the browser but he also admitted later. Of course at first he tried to lie. And he said it is because I act weird not him.

Him smoking weed so much made him so crazy. And I just can't handle it for health reasons. If he is not working, he is home just playing video games and smoking weed. If we fight, he goes to bars and who knows what he is doing there. And that's not how I wanted to live my life.. What he is doing is not nice, but what pissed me off that he makes me feel like I am the reason that bad stuff is happening in our life.

 

I want to divorce but as I finally got my life together I don't want to go back to my country.

What are my chances to be approved if I divorce?

We have common bank account, credit card, lease, he is on my work insurance bills are on our names. We went back to my country in October 2018 for my brothers wedding. His car is just his car, he had it before we got married and he is trying to pay it off. We have photos together. We also plan to visit his family this month as his sister is getting married. Friends so us together. We filed taxes jointly for 2018. But We got married only 1,5 year ago and I am a resident for a year by now. 

Please, advise.

[Ontarkie 14,222]

~~Moved to Effects of Major Family Changes, from ROC - as similar threads are discussed here.~~

[TBoneTX 45,288]

"Marry in haste, repent in leisure."

You must divorce, if you can't tolerate living with an irresponsible addict.  He won't change/you can't change him.

You can file for your permanent green card (Removing Conditions) with a divorce waiver.

Many, many threads discuss the process.

Good luck.

Edited June 12, 2019 by TBoneTX

[bbeaan 0]

9 minutes ago, TBoneTX said:

"Marry in haste, repent in leisure."

You must divorce, if you can't tolerate living with an irresponsible addict.  He won't change/you can't change him.

You can file for your permanent green card (Removing Conditions) with a divorce waiver.

Many, many threads discuss the process.

Good luck.

Thank you for your support!

Can I even say to uscis that my husband smokes weed? It’s legal in our state, but not legal on a federal level..

[Bynx24 72]

6 hours ago, bbeaan said:

Thank you for your support!

Can I even say to uscis that my husband smokes weed? It’s legal in our state, but not legal on a federal level..

Why would you do that? That seems wrong to me and unecessary, how about you just get a divorce and not bring up the weed? He brought you here didnt he? You were in love with him at some point werent you? The answer is, you can say it, but that would be wrong of you AND it is not necessary, you can just get a divorce and you will still get the same outcome, you can stay in the great u.s of A. SMH.

Edited June 12, 2019 by Bynx24

[Mollie09 1,543]

7 hours ago, bbeaan said:

Thank you for your support!

Can I even say to uscis that my husband smokes weed? It’s legal in our state, but not legal on a federal level..

 

Wow, it's usually the USC trying to throw the immigrant under the bus, the other way around is so rare!

Divorce and move on, USCIS doesn't care about your spouse's drug use (why would they???)

[Bynx24 72]

16 minutes ago, Mollie09 said:

 

Wow, it's usually the USC trying to throw the immigrant under the bus, the other way around is so rare!

Divorce and move on, USCIS doesn't care about your spouse's drug use (why would they???)

Shes trying to set up a victim case or possible vawa, it's what they do when they want to stay and get a GC. USCIS will not give a ####### about weed smoking, and she can divorce without saying that and still be able to get her GC thru divorce waiver, it's cruel and unnecessary.

[TBoneTX 45,288]

Let's please knock off the unnecessarily accusatory posts.  The OP simply asked a question.

 

A perfectly appropriate answer is, "There's no need to tell USCIS a detail like that; simply divorce and file for Removing Conditions with the divorce waiver."

[bbeaan 0]

10 minutes ago, TBoneTX said:

Let's please knock off the unnecessarily accusatory posts.  The OP simply asked a question.

 

A perfectly appropriate answer is, "There's no need to tell USCIS a detail like that; simply divorce and file for Removing Conditions with the divorce waiver."

Thank you!

I don’t want to tell this if I don’t need to. I don’t want to spoil his life even if he is acting like trash to me. But as I said because my husband smokes weed, we got a notice in our apartment that we violate the rules by smoking weed in the apartment. And my husband doesn’t want to change anything about it. “We ll be fine” or “you ll be fine” he says. He smokes actually outside but smells still comes close to the apartments. But notice won’t be fine from our profile Can USCIS find out about this notice?

[TBoneTX 45,288]

All they'll need/want by mail is your application to remove conditions with divorce waiver.  If you have your divorce certificate in hand at the time of filing, include it in the package; if not, they'll send you an RFE (request for evidence) requesting it.  Your package should include copious evidence of a bona fide marriage (lists of evidence are found throughout the Removing Conditions forum -- provide what you can).

 

In your interview for your permanent green card, you might be verbally asked the reason behind the divorce; come prepared with whatever physical evidence you have, in case you're asked for it.  Verbally reply similar to "His occasional habit ballooned into full substance abuse that he refused to change and I refused to put up with."

[bbeaan 0]

I thought I also needed to write a letter about what was going on in our relationship and the reason why I got divorced and when I decided so. I just don’t know then what should I say... that he changed unexpectedly without a reason? 

Gosh that pisses me off so much! He just got up and already rolling a joint........ 😔

I seriously don’t want to give him troubles if I don’t need to....

[IslandQueen 45]

30 minutes ago, bbeaan said:

I thought I also needed to write a letter about what was going on in our relationship and the reason why I got divorced and when I decided so. I just don’t know then what should I say... that he changed unexpectedly without a reason? 

Gosh that pisses me off so much! He just got up and already rolling a joint........ 😔

I seriously don’t want to give him troubles if I don’t need to....

Just file with a divorce waiver and proof that your marriage was bonafide. Dont give unnecessary details. As mentioned earlier, just tell the interviewer why the marriage did not work if asked. Good luck and keep us updated.

[little immigrant 801]

38 minutes ago, bbeaan said:

I thought I also needed to write a letter about what was going on in our relationship and the reason why I got divorced and when I decided so. I just don’t know then what should I say... that he changed unexpectedly without a reason? 

Gosh that pisses me off so much! He just got up and already rolling a joint........ 😔

I seriously don’t want to give him troubles if I don’t need to....

I'm not aware that you need to write a letter or anything like that.

 

I was divorced after ROC so it might be a little different. I waited for 5 years to be eligible for citizenship. At my interview they did ask me how things went down and I explained everything to the officer. Just so you know they might still ask about your marriage even if you don't file under the marriage eligibility for your citizenship. 

[bbeaan 0]

But do you guys think o have chances to be approved for permanent GC? Or most likely I have to go back now?

[Daphne . 1,861]

2 minutes ago, bbeaan said:

But do you guys think o have chances to be approved for permanent GC? Or most likely I have to go back now?

It depends on the evidence that you can bring to prove a bona fide marriage and how they will look at it at the interview. I don;t think that anybody can predict how it will go.

I think your first concern now should be to get the divorce going?