I pray it never happens...

[isleta521 5]

OP,

Get her proff. help and spend all your time w/ her. she needs you. Be patient w/ her.

Best wishes

[de_sjiem 0]

If you are the beneficiary and your petitioner dies, you are automatically entitled to recieve citizenship.. I believe??

That's like saying you get a 4.0 in college if your roommate dies!

[Peter 0]

I say we let this topic end as the OP hasn't even bothered to respond to anything. I suggest letting this end.

Edited April 3, 2006 by Peter

[luvaLimey 0]

Your brother's situation doesn't seem suicidal to me at all. If he really had wanted to take his life and kill himself, he could've just sliced his wrists, instead of prolonging his suffering and eventual death by way of starvation, which doesn't make sense whatsoever.

To me, he sounded more like having bouts of manic depression and/or anorexia, not suicidal thoughts, IMHO.

You know, my brother was suicidal for a long time too, but he never made any attempts (that I knew of).

It was the fact he'd talked about it to me, told me how he just wanted to die, just wanted to end all of the pain he was feeling, that made me spend the next couple of years hoping I wouldn't go out to his room and find him hanging from the ceiling fan, or lying still in blood-soaked sheets. He was that serious too. The thing was: even though he was suicidal, he was also very much afraid of actually going through with it. Which just drove him even deeper into his depression; being faced daily with the fact that he was too much of a coward to even take his own life. But I'm grateful for that cowardice, becuase it means my brother is still there, still alive, and still has the opportunity to make his life a whole one.

Just becuase a person doesn't make any attempts at suicide doesn't mean they're not suicidal.

[dmartmar 1]

You know, my brother was suicidal for a long time too, but he never made any attempts (that I knew of).

When I was growing up at home with my parents, I would always tell them that I wanted to kill myself, when in reality I never meant it, deep down inside of me.

I just did it to get their attention.

[David&Erin_Owens 0]

You know, my brother was suicidal for a long time too, but he never made any attempts (that I knew of).

When I was growing up at home with my parents, I would always tell them that I wanted to kill myself, when in reality I never meant it, deep down inside of me.

I just did it to get their attention.

Wow dmartmar. I'm not sure if that makes you deep, or just sick. IMHO.

[crashandcari 0]

I say we let this topic end as the OP hasn't even bothered to respond to anything. I suggest letting this end.

I read all of this ... started off feeling horrible for this poor guy but now have to agree with Peter... Interesting how the OP hasn't posted a thing since the father in law died but rather seems to have started major controversy amongst other posters... I hate to say it but why do I get the feeling the next time he does post his wife will have committed suicide... and why why why am I expecting the next thing to be... can't anyone help me????

Don't shoot me PLEASE... but I can't shake the feeling of him being bogus...

Cari

Edited April 3, 2006 by crashandcari

[luvaLimey 0]

You know, my brother was suicidal for a long time too, but he never made any attempts (that I knew of).

When I was growing up at home with my parents, I would always tell them that I wanted to kill myself, when in reality I never meant it, deep down inside of me.

I just did it to get their attention.

and while you may have been attention-whoring, I know my brother wasn't. He never told anyone else, just me.

[de_sjiem 0]

You know, my brother was suicidal for a long time too, but he never made any attempts (that I knew of).

When I was growing up at home with my parents, I would always tell them that I wanted to kill myself, when in reality I never meant it, deep down inside of me.

I just did it to get their attention.

Wow dmartmar. I'm not sure if that makes you deep, or just sick. IMHO.

Doesn't make him deep or sick.. means he needed more attention most likely.. maybe not the best way to do it but when you're young you usually dont do things the best way...

[gimygirl 0]

I say we let this topic end as the OP hasn't even bothered to respond to anything. I suggest letting this end.

I read all of this ... started off feeling horrible for this poor guy but now have to agree with Peter... Interesting how the OP hasn't posted a thing since the father in law died but rather seems to have started major controversy amongst other posters... I hate to say it but why do I get the feeling the next time he does post his wife will have committed suicide... and why why why am I expecting the next thing to be... can't anyone help me????

Don't shoot me PLEASE... but I can't shake the feeling of him being bogus...

Cari

again ... let me welcome you to VJ. this is the norm! we get one of these every 3 weeks or so!! make sure you always have popcorn handy!

[dmartmar 1]

Wow dmartmar. I'm not sure if that makes you deep, or just sick. IMHO.

Doesn't make him deep or sick.. means he needed more attention most likely.. maybe not the best way to do it but when you're young you usually dont do things the best way...

Now I admit, being a grown-up already, that it wasn't the right or best way to gain attention. Heck, I must've been about 7-10 years old when I did this! Completely young and immature.

And yeah, it seems strange that the OP hasn't posted ever again since; we perhaps called out his bluff, if there was one?

Edited April 4, 2006 by dmartmar

[mrs.jenjen 0]

jenjen ...

you're right ... i don't worry about things to the depth that MOST people do ... there is no sense in it. some things are just out of a person's control and no amount of worrying will change that. although, if my husband was a cop i don't think it would be natural NOT to worry to an extent.

i answered the OP's question with: " maybe you strengthen your family ties back in the UK in the event of something unpleasant. spouses of a recently deceased USC have been known to be unable to stay in the US."

my husband and i have had this discussion before ... in the unfortunate event that i might die. i told him that he'd be on a plane back to england with the children (since i have sole physical/legal custody ). end of story.

if LPR's are THAT worried about what's going to happen ... they should really start preparing now by saving some money, keeping strong ties with relatives, etc. of course there are a million and one different scenarios that could play out but ... everyone wonders 'what will happen to me if', LPR's just have to think about one more aspect of that.

anyway ... i prefer to live life head on and just deal with things ... i don't pretend this is a fairytale by pushing bad thoughts out of my head. *shrugs* to each his own!

I see what you mean gimygirl. I'm sorry if my post came across as offensive - it wasn't meant to be!

I do think I worry too much sometimes. But I'd rather have a vague idea of what would happen than be totally clueless if the worst happened. I'm sure everyones read about the cancer sufferer who's husband died after her living in the US for numerous years, who was eventually deported. That thought petrifies me and I do see it as a failing in the USCIS system. But it happens, and I guess its sensible to be aware of that. Whover thinks that love isn't a gamble has obviously never tried being in this kind of relationship!

For me, being pregnant right now opens a whole other can of worms. My husband works nights, and there's been a few lonely nights when I can't sleep at 3am when it crosses my mind. Crazy things - like if I had to move back to the UK, would I even be able to travel back and forth to the US to ensure my child had a relationship with its grandparents here in the US after overstaying my Visa Waiver? How would I be able to support the both of us? I think about short term problems such as paying the bills / rent on the apartment before the life insurance came through.. thats a LOT to think about, especially when the OP has more reason to consider these things than I do, and I find it offensive that people think the OP doesn't have a right to wonder. I know I personally won't feel 100% secure until I have my green card in my hand.

But you're right about living in the present. I hope to God that no one on this board finds themselves in this situation, and as you said theres no use wondering what might happen at the expense of enjoying every day as it comes. We just have to follow our hearts, stay informed and hope for the best.

I do hope the OP has found some professional help for his wife, or at least SPOKEN to her about his concerns. I will be very upset if this turns out to be a fake post!

Edited April 5, 2006 by mrs.jenjen

[dmartmar 1]

I do hope the OP has found some professional help for his wife, or at least SPOKEN to her about his concerns. I will be very upset if this turns out to be a fake post!

Just realize that out of the 70 reply posts written so far, only 2 belong to the OP.