ROC with Divorce waiver due to abuse

[Carolina Wilson 2]

Hi all,

 

My name is (removed), I am a foreign national, born (removed) that obtained my conditional green card through marriage (8 months ago), our GC interview was super easy, we had enough proof of bona fide marriage and the interview lasted about 20 mins.

I met my husband when I was in medical school here in the US, we dated for one year and then got married (one year and 1/2 ago). After we got married I moved in with him and his family while I was waiting on my AOS to be over. Life was going great until problems started. My husband has some sort of bipolar disorder that I discovered once I moved in with him. He has mood swings that are horrible, we argue all the time for no reason, even the most tiny thing we do not agree on, he will go full on beast mode and start screaming at me for hours, same way he treats his parents (awkwardly enough, his parents are okay with it); I tried to make things better by just not voicing my opinion regarding any topic just to keep him happy; and Ill say that when he is happy he is a nice person, but as I said, the smallest thing will trigger this episodes. Every time he is in a bad mood he screams and insults me in ways that I've never heard before, from calling me dirty '(removed)', and all sorts of racial slur. His family is low-key racists so they drop the N word every hour for no reason, and blame every that is wrong in this country to Obama, black people and the AA. Being foreign and from (Removed) I find it extremely uncomfortable. His parents and I get along very well (we obviously do not share some values, but they like me a lot), but his mother will stand by him, even when he is being irrational and rude.

 

Recently my husband started threatening me with divorce every time he gets angry at me; and this is the reason why I come here to VJ today.

I also recently signed a contract with a clinic in Atlanta to do my residency and become an OBGYN. It is a three year program that will start in August.

 

We moved to WA for a few months due to his job and before moving across the country and on our way west, the physical abuse started. He hit me 4 times. Once in a moving car. He also threaten to "give me a black eye if I did't stop acting like a (removed)" The other times for very stupid reasons. He claims he hit me by accident. And of course the days following after he hit me he was the nicest/sweetest ever. I have to keep my mouth shut if we ever argue for fear of getting hit again. I warned a few friends about the incidents, they all begged me to go live with them but I am stubborn and naive and wanted things to get better. I contacted a lawyer too even before he hit me, and have been updating her as things happened. She seems very prepared and is more than willing to help me out.

 

I am going home for a bit and then after that I will move back to Atl to start my residency. I still love this person and I feel terribly sad about this thing. I will miss him but I also know its not even safe for me. I have to start the biggest challenge of my life (my residency) with this on my plate too. I am extremely anxious about everything. I also do not know how to end this. I have always been a bit of a weak one when it comes to finishing relationships. I am disappointed at myself for not being stronger, and also about how my marriage turned out. I should have stayed with my visas and not applied for GC. =(

 

 

 

TLDR:

- Husband very abusive, started only verbal, turned into physical abuse. 

- can I apply for ROC after a divorce? Marriage was legit (I have evidence) and I do not wish to get a divorce, but his threats are very frequent and I am terrified and not sure if this is safe for me at all. I also do not know if he will handle long distance at all. I truly do not wanna lose my residency. I know nothing is set in stone but I need at least numbers of probabilities. 

- Am I in trouble if I ask for divorce? 

- Any other advice?

 

 

 

Thank you for the help.

 

C

 

 

 

Edited May 20, 2019 by Ontarkie
bypassing language filter and identifying information

[milimelo 4,550]

I’d get divorced and file with divorce waiver. Unnecessary (and higher burden of proof which you don’t seem to have) to file with abuse waiver. Divorce one will suffice. 

[Ontarkie 14,435]

~~Post edited for language,  and Identifying markers.  For your safety I've removed your name and country of origin Please do not post those details as they are not needed for members to help you. VJ is view able to anyone including your ex. If your user name is also your real name please change it. ~~

Edited May 20, 2019 by Ontarkie

[Carpe Vinum 2,330]

Isn't this a repost of an earlier incident? Sorry, but it sounds very familiar.

[Carolina Wilson 2]

Just now, Ontarkie said:

~~Post edited for language,  and Identifying markers.  For your safety I've removed your name and country of origin Please do not post those details as they are not needed for members to help you. VJ is view able to anyone including your ex.~~

Thank you. That is not my real name, do not worry or specialty/city where I will do my residency.

 

 

Thank you!!

1 minute ago, boris64 said:

Isn't this a repost of an earlier incident? Sorry, but it sounds very familiar.

It is. I just did not know how to update it.

 

 

Sorry!

[Carpe Vinum 2,330]

Just now, Carolina Wilson said:

Thank you. That is not my real name, do not worry or specialty/city where I will do my residency.

 

 

Thank you!!

It is. I just did not know how to update it.

 

 

Sorry!

No worries)

[Ontarkie 14,435]

1 minute ago, Carolina Wilson said:

Thank you. That is not my real name, do not worry or specialty/city where I will do my residency.

 

 

Thank you!!

It is. I just did not know how to update it.

 

 

Sorry!

Thank you. It happens way to often.