How to prove he married me for a green card?

[Going through 5,671]

26 minutes ago, Bynx24 said:

Thank you for the clarification , maybe I read wrong but I thought she said he expected her to sponsor him etc, either way, shes screwed and big time.

OP is already on the hook as sponsor since the child would have been a derivative beneficiary when the soon-to-be ex had the K1.

I think the OP might be slightly confused as to what she is, and is not responsible for immigration-wise even after divorce.

[Boiler 45,559]

I am not going to quote the I 864, OP knew what she signed but it is certainly not limited to 10 years, as others have said would be in best interest for the spouse and child to naturalise asap.

 

As an aside love is never mentioned in any of this process and you supplied evidence of the validity of the relationship at several points, documentation, what do you have in the way of evidence to show that the documentation you supplied was false?

[JunkTardis 183]

3 hours ago, mizliz79 said:

A little history. He came to the US July of 2016 k1 visa we got married July 27th I was truly in love with him and he led me to believe that he was too, the reasons I now believe he only married me for gc are the following. He made excuses as to why he couldn't perform when it was time for intimacy, (he doesn't know what is wrong it never happened to him, no girl has had an issue with it why should I, maybe he needs to see a Dr or because he doesn't feel much of a man) then to his luck I fell ill and didn't need to give excuses for that, I had surgery may 2018 so then came the excuse as to why not sleep with me, (he didn't want to hurt me, months later it was the TV light bothers him, he snores and doesn't want to bother me) but all this time he showed he was loving and caring like I thought too good to be true type. come time to send his roc I started the petition in Feb 2019 which I sent, March 18 I get receipt letter he then was pushing for his sons petition which I was working on but hadn't sent because I needed a joint sponsor, he was under the impression that I sent it and all we are waiting on was permanent gc.. I started noticing him different in Feb he came telling me his wedding ring fell in sink while washing hands... Come April 18th he tells me that due to us not sleeping together we've distant ourselves therefore he started talking and seeing someone else for the last week, I come to find out it's been since Feb 2019 that he started talking to 3 women not just one ... If he wanted to be honest with me, why wait till I send the roc? That's all he did was wait for me to send the paperwork, mind you he tells me this one week before I was to have another surgery. He would also tell his son how he is sacrificing himself for him to have a better future and to wait for him (wait for him for what) ..Do I have something to fight for or will I waste my time? I really want an annulment rather than a divorce but will that have an effect? Everywhere I read it says just take it and move on... I just can't believe us as citizens don't have protection for this. 

Okay:

 

1: 'He made excuses why he couldn't perform when it was time for intimacy'

 

There could be many reasons for this. Not everyone is a sex pest ready to give a mind blowing experience all the time. He could have something medical, or mental going on he finds difficult to talk about and is embarrassed. There is a lot of pressure on men to always be able to perform. If they don't you can receive comments such as 'Is it me? Am I ugly? Are you gay?' etc. This alone is not proof of Green Card fraud.

 

2: 'I started noticing him different in Feb he came telling me his wedding ring fell in sink while washing hands...'

It can happen. I've lost rings before. I've certainly dropped small objects in the sink before and had to retrieve them. This is also not proof of Green Card fraud.

 

3: 'Come April 18th he tells me that due to us not sleeping together we've distant ourselves therefore he started talking and seeing someone else for the last week, I come to find out it's been since Feb 2019 that he started talking to 3 women not just one'

 

In what context is he talking to these women? Do you know them or does he through work? Men can talk to women, and women can talk to men. If it's of a flirtatious/sexual nature then I'd be suspicious and confront him about it. This also isn't proof of Green Card fraud without context. If he's clearly trying to get with them, it just shows him being disloyal and dishonest. I'll never understand why people can't be honest if their relationship isn't working (not attacking you OP)

 

4: 'Do I have something to fight for or will I waste my time? I really want an annulment rather than a divorce but will that have an effect? Everywhere I read it says just take it and move on... I just can't believe us as citizens don't have protection for this.' 

 

I can't answer this for you, but if it were me I'd end the relationship. He is either unable or unwilling to discuss and be communicative with you in a way that is conducive to a cohesive relationship. I'd just end it and get a divorce. Marriages sometimes just don't work out, the US Government can't be held responsible for that if you made the free choice to marry someone. Judging the person is down to you prior to initiating the Visa Process. The US govt can only judge on what you and he tells them and assess this information and do background checks.

 

I hope you don't take this as an attack, I'd rather just be completely honest with you and play Devil's Advocate. I hope you find the answers you seek, and good luck with your surgeries! 

Edited May 20, 2019 by JunkTardis

[Amadia 711]

5 hours ago, mizliz79 said:

I just can't believe us as citizens don't have protection for this. 

I understand the frustration, hurt, disappointment, exhaustion of funds to file paperwork while paying for surgeries, lack of love, lack of commitment, etc. It is very unfortunate that this has come to happen to you during your own trying times.

 

As far as "Protection to US citizens" after filing paperwork for a foreigner to reside with you after a marital union is performed, this was a choice that was made by you. Ample research into the person you took on as your partner in a marital union needs to be done prior to making that level of commitment. It is sad and heartbreaking to invest time, effort, energy and finances into something that falls apart but was only 1-sided to begin with after the smoke cleared.

Maybe there were signs that you couldn't/didn't see from the beginning.

[xillini 71]

First im so sorry to hear your experience. 

Life is not easy especially when emotions are involved and it's unfortunate. 

 

In terms of what you can do, you can still write a written letter either to your local USCIS office (should you decide it's better to meet them in person) or fraud detection unit in DHS with detailed evidences that can support your claim that he married for green card. 

 

Let them do their work and decide it for your husband. 

 

Most of time these tips are ignored but it will increase his ROC journey stress level since now that you submit the detail evidences he will have to go thru more rigorous test. 

 

If possible, add specific evidence or experience that USCIS will ask him in-person interview. 

 

Ultimately you are not the judge here because you judged him as true lover the moment you signed into 130 and 485, which is why you are held accountable for failing to screen him out properly. 

 

Yes it's funny that you made legally binding paper with US government and now you want to retract it easily? No life is not that easy. 

 

That's why you wanna submit any evidences against him and let USCIS decide it. If USCIS judges this case has enough evidences as fraud they will reject, in which case your husband will most likely to bring the case to the court. 

 

If judges find it not good faith marriage he will be removed and it takes long time to reach this stage so practically you give him enough stresses. 

 

If judges find it still good faith marriage he will be given green card but again it takes couple of years to get this stage during which he would have to suffer uncertain futures. 

 

If this is really what you want go for it i would say. 

 

At the end of days you no longer have control of retracting the legally binding contract with US government that you did invite him to US and you are being held accountable. 

 

If you had not invited him, you wouldn't have yo go thru this but it is what it is. 

 

Depending on your state you might want to record what he is saying whether he voluntarily share his thoughts on the marriage but please make sure you consult with professional legal representative. I believe most states are okay that if it's shared property recording another without consent is legal so you can still submit any of his comments during conversation to USCIS. (Especially if he shares any comments that he intended to marry you for green card purpose, it is silver bullet that he won't be granted for RoC and USCIS will surely able to prove the burden in front of judges)

 

Or you can just let him go. Just forget him and find another one for your life and that can be another blessing. Best luck

[Boiler 45,559]

If the OP has any evidence she has yet to mention it.

[Kowatti 189]

6 hours ago, mizliz79 said:

A little history. He came to the US July of 2016 k1 visa we got married July 27th I was truly in love with him and he led me to believe that he was too, the reasons I now believe he only married me for gc are the following. He made excuses as to why he couldn't perform when it was time for intimacy, (he doesn't know what is wrong it never happened to him, no girl has had an issue with it why should I, maybe he needs to see a Dr or because he doesn't feel much of a man) then to his luck I fell ill and didn't need to give excuses for that, I had surgery may 2018 so then came the excuse as to why not sleep with me, (he didn't want to hurt me, months later it was the TV light bothers him, he snores and doesn't want to bother me) but all this time he showed he was loving and caring like I thought too good to be true type. come time to send his roc I started the petition in Feb 2019 which I sent, March 18 I get receipt letter he then was pushing for his sons petition which I was working on but hadn't sent because I needed a joint sponsor, he was under the impression that I sent it and all we are waiting on was permanent gc.. I started noticing him different in Feb he came telling me his wedding ring fell in sink while washing hands... Come April 18th he tells me that due to us not sleeping together we've distant ourselves therefore he started talking and seeing someone else for the last week, I come to find out it's been since Feb 2019 that he started talking to 3 women not just one ... If he wanted to be honest with me, why wait till I send the roc? That's all he did was wait for me to send the paperwork, mind you he tells me this one week before I was to have another surgery. He would also tell his son how he is sacrificing himself for him to have a better future and to wait for him (wait for him for what) ..Do I have something to fight for or will I waste my time? I really want an annulment rather than a divorce but will that have an effect? Everywhere I read it says just take it and move on... I just can't believe us as citizens don't have protection for this. 

I feel your pain & I am very sorry this happened to you.  Intimacy is an important part of a marriage/relationship.  You are probably not compatible there & yes he may have used you to gain something.  Like everyone else is saying, move on.  People like him will get the same pain coming back to him at some point in his life.  You are probably too kind-hearted, blinded by your love for him.  You deserve better for yourself, someone who can love you unconditionally.  It hurts now, however, move on, allow yourself time to heal, & find a loving & caring person to be in your life.  Hugs to you................

[Eugenia2017 28]

6 hours ago, mizliz79 said:

I forgot to mention that once he realized that I had not sent his sons aos petition he was worried and asked me to please continue with the process as if nothing happened and that he would sign whatever he needs to sign so I won't be liable for 10 years... He pretty much asked me to commit fraud in front of a immigracion officer 

Sorry . But as a woman we are supposed to have a sixth sense, clearly one feels and knows when they love and when they do not. 

 

You said you started the petition process in Feb 2019. So it’s still in the process . Wthat’s the step? May be you can do something. Think about that 🤔 

[Randyandyuni 2,682]

8 minutes ago, Eugenia2017 said:

Sorry . But as a woman we are supposed to have a sixth sense, clearly one feels and knows when they love and when they do not. 

 

hardly associated only with women, humans in general have innate sense for self protection 

[Eugenia2017 28]

13 minutes ago, Randyandyuni said:

hardly associated only with women, humans in general have innate sense for self protection 

You are correct in self protection but in the sixth sense or intuition the woman has more developed this sense Just a opinion! 

[Randyandyuni 2,682]

you are entitled to that opinion 

[JC&BS 75]

What is with the single=unhappiness lie society has placed on us!? It's a lie. You can be happy ALONE. Why is contentment and peace as a single person seen as a sad last option? She doesn't need to 'find' anyone but herself. A partner can ADD to your happiness but they are not the origin of it. No human should hold that power over you. 

 

[E & J 2018 132]

I am wondering if you EVER consummated the marriage..... This is one of the valid and acceptable reasons for an annulment.....  I'm just grasping for straws for you, but if he never told you about this problem before marriage and you get a good lawyer, you can try for this angle. I think each state views this differently 🤷‍♂️

[NikLR 13,227]

1 hour ago, E & J 2018 said:

I am wondering if you EVER consummated the marriage..... This is one of the valid and acceptable reasons for an annulment.....  I'm just grasping for straws for you, but if he never told you about this problem before marriage and you get a good lawyer, you can try for this angle. I think each state views this differently 🤷‍♂️

It wouldn't matter.  Even an annulled marriage does not negate the I-864 or the green card.  You can still ROC on your own with a divorce waiver and an annulment and still become a USC. So if the OP feels better about an annulment they can go that route understanding that it doesn't change her husband's status. 

[debbiedoo 2,339]

Just because you are bad at picking them, and he didnt want to have sex with you, doesnt mean it was fraud. how well did you know him? how much in person time was spent together? how was intimacy before? any red flags? age difference? religious difference? 

 

maybe it was fraud, maybe it wasn't. But without EVIDENCE (and lack of sex does not constitute evidence as there are a hundred reasons why people do not have sex and it doesnt mean they dont love each other or that its not a valid marriage) , it is a moot point. 

 

regardless, whats done is done. divorce and move on. he can file for ROC without you. 

 

To my knowledge, there is nothing here can say or do to absolve you from obligations under the 864