How to prove he married me for a green card?

[Bcs1 2]

A little history. He came to the US July of 2016 k1 visa we got married July 27th I was truly in love with him and he led me to believe that he was too, the reasons I now believe he only married me for gc are the following. He made excuses as to why he couldn't perform when it was time for intimacy, (he doesn't know what is wrong it never happened to him, no girl has had an issue with it why should I, maybe he needs to see a Dr or because he doesn't feel much of a man) then to his luck I fell ill and didn't need to give excuses for that, I had surgery may 2018 so then came the excuse as to why not sleep with me, (he didn't want to hurt me, months later it was the TV light bothers him, he snores and doesn't want to bother me) but all this time he showed he was loving and caring like I thought too good to be true type. come time to send his roc I started the petition in Feb 2019 which I sent, March 18 I get receipt letter he then was pushing for his sons petition which I was working on but hadn't sent because I needed a joint sponsor, he was under the impression that I sent it and all we are waiting on was permanent gc.. I started noticing him different in Feb he came telling me his wedding ring fell in sink while washing hands... Come April 18th he tells me that due to us not sleeping together we've distant ourselves therefore he started talking and seeing someone else for the last week, I come to find out it's been since Feb 2019 that he started talking to 3 women not just one ... If he wanted to be honest with me, why wait till I send the roc? That's all he did was wait for me to send the paperwork, mind you he tells me this one week before I was to have another surgery. He would also tell his son how he is sacrificing himself for him to have a better future and to wait for him (wait for him for what) ..Do I have something to fight for or will I waste my time? I really want an annulment rather than a divorce but will that have an effect? Everywhere I read it says just take it and move on... I just can't believe us as citizens don't have protection for this. 

Edited May 20, 2019 by mizliz79

[Going through 5,671]

Unfortunately, unless you have evidence that he committed marriage fraud to submit to USCIS, not much you can do at this point other than to divorce and move on as advised elsewhere.

 

No sex/cheating doesn't equal marriage fraud...and his ROC is actually his, not yours, even though it was filed jointly.  He can continue the ROC process on his own with a divorce waiver without your consent or authorization.  Unfortunately even with a divorce, you are still on the hook for the Affidavit of Support (i-864) you signed.

 

Sorry this happened.

Edited May 20, 2019 by Going through

[Unlockable 7,314]

*** Moved from Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion to "Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits" ***

[Bcs1 2]

Isn't it considered a joint petition? He deceived me and led me to believe he loved me when in reality he didn't..

[Unlockable 7,314]

25 minutes ago, mizliz79 said:

. I just can't believe us as citizens don't have protection for this. 

@mizliz79,

 

I am sorry to hear about what is going on. But to be honest, it is difficult to have someone removed after they get a green card. Since he is here, he can continue to have a path to remain in the US. There is not much you can do unless you have extremely good evidence of fraud (btw, cheating is not fraud).

 

I want to address what you said above about citizens having protection from this. There are tens of millions of visa cases ongoing currently. You have to realize that the US government does not have the resources to do a thorough investigation of every immigrants true intentions. That is where you come in. It is up to you, as the petitioner, to provide the evidence that you and your ex is in a legit relationship. You are the one that sent in evidence of you and your ex are in love. You sent the evidence, filed the paperwork, signed legal binding documents to bring him here. There is not much immigration can do because you did everything legally to vouch for your husband. It is not the government's fault that people get fraud. The government set up a system to where a person has all these things they must do to prove a legit relationship. The problem is too many people spend too much effort trying to bring their love to the US as fast as possible and don't spend enough effort to truly find out about their significant other's true intentions.

 

You are not the first and you definitely will not be the last this has happened to.

 

2 minutes ago, mizliz79 said:

Isn't it considered a joint petition? He deceived me and led me to believe he loved me when in reality he didn't..

No. The petition is yours. You signed the affidavit of support. By signing the affidavit you are telling the government that you will be responsible for your husband. You should take some time to thoroughly read the affidavit. In fact, it states in the Affidavit that even if you divorce, you can STILL be held responsible for your husband. And he can sue you for support based on the affidavit. 

 

If you really read the affidavit in great detail, you will see just how serious it is.

https://www.uscis.gov/i-864

 

The issue is that this has happened too much in the past, so the government had to have a way to cover its tail because too many people got scammed and the US government was left having to take care of an immigrant. So the affidavit is a way to prevent people applying for immigrants and the US government having to pick up the pieces when the marriage doesn't work out. It is a way of immigration saying that, if it wasn't for you, he wouldn't be here in the first place so why would they be left being responsible for him.

 

Hope it all works out for you.

[nguoivietnam2019 67]

12 minutes ago, mizliz79 said:

Isn't it considered a joint petition? He deceived me and led me to believe he loved me when in reality he didn't..

The reality can be cruel but you cannot very much do anything.  The best thing you can do is  to move on with your life.  Case like this is not rare (I experience through my relatives and people in my community) but I have not seen any successful case to get US Government deported anyone.

 

Telling the US Gov does not protect its citizens is not fair either, they did by reviewing/denying but let face it - people are called husband and wife, still not able to tell - how the US Gov can?

[Going through 5,671]

27 minutes ago, mizliz79 said:

Isn't it considered a joint petition? He deceived me and led me to believe he loved me when in reality he didn't..

You initially filed the ROC jointly.  He can continue the process on his own, by requesting/changing to filing with a divorce waiver---you have no control over that part.  He would have to inform USCIS that he's switching his filing over to a divorce waiver at any point in the process, and prove during his interview that he entered the marriage with bonafide intent to gain ROC approval, and that the marriage was bonafide until it became broken down---USCIS will not care that the marriage broke down later, or why it broke down, or even if it was his fault that it broke down.  

 

Keep in mind that when you filed the K1, you had to prove it was a valid relationship with bonafide intent to marry for reasons other than a green card.

 

Keep in mind that when you filed the AOS, you again submitted evidence to prove it was a valid marriage, with bonafide intent of marrying for reasons other than a green card.

 

USCIS has access to all of this evidence/documents submitted beforehand, and they will likely look back through it when adjudicating the ROC.

 

My point, is that unless you have solid evidence of immigration fraud it will be near impossible to now prove he began a relationship with you/married you for fraudulent reasons considering all of the evidence you swore by and sent before saying the exact opposite.

Edited May 20, 2019 by Going through

[Bcs1 2]

I forgot to mention that once he realized that I had not sent his sons aos petition he was worried and asked me to please continue with the process as if nothing happened and that he would sign whatever he needs to sign so I won't be liable for 10 years... He pretty much asked me to commit fraud in front of a immigracion officer 

Edited May 20, 2019 by mizliz79

[Crazy Cat 41,904]

36 minutes ago, mizliz79 said:

Isn't it considered a joint petition? He deceived me and led me to believe he loved me when in reality he didn't..

He can easily change it to a waiver if he chooses.....as long as he can show he entered the marriage in good faith.........I'm afraid you can do nothing other than seek happiness for yourself.......

[NikLR 13,227]

In all honesty the sooner he becomes a USC the sooner your obligation ends.  But if you don't want to continue the marriage with someone who's been conversing with other women and does not want to be intimate with you, then you should divorce.  I wouldn't be with that person a second longer than necessary either.  That doesn't mean he committed green card fraud and it's nearly impossible to prove that he did based on those reasons alone.

Best wishes for you. I hope you can heal after this hurt. 

[Carpe Vinum 2,327]

14 minutes ago, mizliz79 said:

I forgot to mention that once he realized that I had not sent his sons aos petition he was worried and asked me to please continue with the process as if nothing happened and that he would sign whatever he needs to sign so I won't be liable for 10 years... He pretty much asked me to commit fraud in front of a immigracion officer 

Sometimes life doesn't work out the way you think it will.  This whole immigration thing can be a big risk and people should be aware of this. It sounds like you both tried and it just didn't work. His ROC is his alone. It's not like AOS....and yes the I-864 will still be enforceable until he meets certain conditions. Good Luck.

Edited May 20, 2019 by boris64

[Going through 5,671]

19 minutes ago, mizliz79 said:

I forgot to mention that once he realized that I had not sent his sons aos petition he was worried and asked me to please continue with the process as if nothing happened and that he would sign whatever he needs to sign so I won't be liable for 10 years... He pretty much asked me to commit fraud in front of a immigracion officer 

 

Is his son in the US now?  What is the son's legal status/visa?  

 

Also---what "immigration officer" were you in front of when he asked you that?  He wouldn't have had any other interview since his AOS one, so far....so a bit confused over when that incident took place.  Or you mean he asked you this just recently?

Edited May 20, 2019 by Going through

[Greekwife 58]

I think the most important is what was posted earlier.We need time to go through different stages of visa but what do we do in the meantime?

Getting to know the other is not always easy as I know some people can be good at pretending.I think life teaches us something even through painful experiences.

Based on that just beware in the future.

All that glitters is not always gold...

[Bynx24 72]

1 hour ago, mizliz79 said:

A little history. He came to the US July of 2016 k1 visa we got married July 27th I was truly in love with him and he led me to believe that he was too, the reasons I now believe he only married me for gc are the following. He made excuses as to why he couldn't perform when it was time for intimacy, (he doesn't know what is wrong it never happened to him, no girl has had an issue with it why should I, maybe he needs to see a Dr or because he doesn't feel much of a man) then to his luck I fell ill and didn't need to give excuses for that, I had surgery may 2018 so then came the excuse as to why not sleep with me, (he didn't want to hurt me, months later it was the TV light bothers him, he snores and doesn't want to bother me) but all this time he showed he was loving and caring like I thought too good to be true type. come time to send his roc I started the petition in Feb 2019 which I sent, March 18 I get receipt letter he then was pushing for his sons petition which I was working on but hadn't sent because I needed a joint sponsor, he was under the impression that I sent it and all we are waiting on was permanent gc.. I started noticing him different in Feb he came telling me his wedding ring fell in sink while washing hands... Come April 18th he tells me that due to us not sleeping together we've distant ourselves therefore he started talking and seeing someone else for the last week, I come to find out it's been since Feb 2019 that he started talking to 3 women not just one ... If he wanted to be honest with me, why wait till I send the roc? That's all he did was wait for me to send the paperwork, mind you he tells me this one week before I was to have another surgery. He would also tell his son how he is sacrificing himself for him to have a better future and to wait for him (wait for him for what) ..Do I have something to fight for or will I waste my time? I really want an annulment rather than a divorce but will that have an effect? Everywhere I read it says just take it and move on... I just can't believe us as citizens don't have protection for this. 

Im sorry you are going through this but come on, he showed you red flag after red flag and you still sent in the papers??

Edited May 20, 2019 by Bynx24

[Bynx24 72]

13 minutes ago, boris64 said:

It sounds like you both tried and it just didn't work

No, it's clear that he wasnt even attracted to her and made any excuse to not even have sex, this is a harsh reality to accept but the women in this case are to blame as well.