JUST A RANT(update merged)

[little immigrant 800]

5 hours ago, Bynx24 said:

You seem to have a good head on your shoulders and will make it out of this. How old are you if you dont mind me asking?Country? I ask because it's surprising to see the immigrant being screwed over. It just goes to show that bad behavior can come from both sides.

 

Good luck.

Why is this surprising? The American is entitled and spoiled and they have the immigrants come over to work for them. Then they take your hard earned money and accuse you of using them for a green card. This happened to me. 

Edited May 20, 2019 by little immigrant

[Bynx24 72]

6 minutes ago, little immigrant said:

Why is this surprising? The American is entitled and spoiled and they have the immigrants come over to work for them. Then they take your hard earned money and accuse you of using them for a green card. This happened to me. 

Surprising because it just seems to be the other way around mostly, not saying that it cant happen, but an oddity around here.

[Boiler 44,943]

10 minutes ago, Bynx24 said:

Surprising because it just seems to be the other way around mostly, not saying that it cant happen, but an oddity around here.

I think that is a fair comment of the VJ experience,

[little immigrant 800]

17 minutes ago, Bynx24 said:

Surprising because it just seems to be the other way around mostly, not saying that it cant happen, but an oddity around here.

This isn't the first time this has happened here on VJ and I'm not talking about me and OP only

[Bynx24 72]

2 minutes ago, little immigrant said:

This isn't the first time this has happened here on VJ and I'm not talking about me and OP only

Well I sympathize and all Americans do not do this believe me, it's usually us that end up screwed or almost screwed.

[Boiler 44,943]

8 minutes ago, little immigrant said:

This isn't the first time this has happened here on VJ and I'm not talking about me and OP only

I have seen quite a few such cases, but more the other way around.

[little immigrant 800]

5 minutes ago, Bynx24 said:

Well I sympathize and all Americans do not do this believe me, it's usually us that end up screwed or almost screwed.

I didn't say all.

[BethyWink 96]

There are a lot of sexist comments and connentations on this post. 

 

It looks like you are set on divorce, and that is a big choice to make, but if you believe it is the right one, do so quickly.  I am not in your relationship, and only know what you posted in an emotional state of mind, so I can not give solid advice.  But seek advice from local friends who have gone through divorce before who can tell you real life expereinces as well as advice.   Remember that you can still remove your conditions while going through divorce procedures, it will just be a bit more difficult, but it is not unheard of, as marriages do end.   

[theresaL 408]

OP, I'm sorry things are this bad. I can tell you from personal experience that financial issues such as these never get better when one half of the marriage is so immature and irresponsible. They only get worse. I'm sorry but I don't think your situation is going to improve since it's a habitual pattern.

 

You know the steps to take immigration wise. One question though, is there an I-864 in place? and since your wife didn't work I'm guessing if there is it's the parents who signed as cosponsors if this situation applies to you.

 

As one poster already said, time to lawyer up. Become very familiar with your state's laws and know your rights. Depending on how large the city is where you live and the number of divorce lawyers, if you really want to make things difficult for your wife, schedule a consultation with every divorce lawyer in town as most will do a free 30 min. consult or charge a small fee. This will prevent her from hiring any of the local lawyers because it creates a conflict of interest. Good luck.

[NikLR 13,227]

4 hours ago, Mike E said:

Yeah well I got divorced in Colorado and you are 100 percent wrong about how it works in Colorado. 

 

There are are guidelines to the court based on the length of marriage, the earnings of each spouse, and the total assets.  The judge has latitude to ignore those guidelines.  My lawyer told me to avoid trial if possible because it can go very badly. He told me horror stories of men earning six figures who have to give their ex-wives $10K a month for the rest of their lives. No until retirement. For life.  

A judge can ignore guidelines but the guidelines are there none-the-less.  I ignore horror stories from lawyers.  Of course they tell you those.  Just like everyone who has had a bad car tells you to stay away from a make and model.  Scare tactics work on some people... Generally those who buy not-a-minivan. 

[Rohit004 8]

18 minutes ago, theresaL said:

OP, I'm sorry things are this bad. I can tell you from personal experience that financial issues such as these never get better when one half of the marriage is so immature and irresponsible. They only get worse. I'm sorry but I don't think your situation is going to improve since it's a habitual pattern.

 

You know the steps to take immigration wise. One question though, is there an I-864 in place? and since your wife didn't work I'm guessing if there is it's the parents who signed as cosponsors if this situation applies to you.

 

As one poster already said, time to lawyer up. Become very familiar with your state's laws and know your rights. Depending on how large the city is where you live and the number of divorce lawyers, if you really want to make things difficult for your wife, schedule a consultation with every divorce lawyer in town as most will do a free 30 min. consult or charge a small fee. This will prevent her from hiring any of the local lawyers because it creates a conflict of interest. Good luck.

No. Thank goodness I found an external sponsor, a family member of mine. I would be owing them the world had her parents co-signed. 

[Koko4Evans 9]

22 hours ago, Koko4Evans said:

Let her actions speak this time around. Let her stay with her parents and see how she likes having her mom telling her how to live eat breathe and be married. Her reality will make her appreciate you sooner or later but you have to stand up for yourself too. Stop tolerating all that they are doing. 

Well i was reading your title of you just venting to others. If you are ready to divorce thats a decision for you to make.  This stuff you complained of seems fixable you spoiled your wife iz all and some ppl love that. It seems to be in you. The main issue is her mom right? Seems your spoiled wife had a temper tantrum to you telling her no about the vacation. Some ppl learn different so maybe school and working at the same time wasn't a good idea. You can't help her and get upset about how she's behaving you were part of the problem. All through this i never once heard you say you don't love her or she doesn't love you. Spoiled and out of order yes but marraige is for better or worse.  You're a smart man you will make the decision that's best for you. Calm down and think clearly. Try. Marriage counseling maybe the vacay would be a good idea for the 2 of you to get away and talk things over without her mom on your back. 

[Sav&Har 142]

I think some of us, men (and I am sure the other way around too) have some degree of spoiling our partners. But this is a clear example of an ungrateful leech.

[Rohit004 8]

23 hours ago, Koko4Evans said:

Well i was reading your title of you just venting to others. If you are ready to divorce thats a decision for you to make.  This stuff you complained of seems fixable you spoiled your wife iz all and some ppl love that. It seems to be in you. The main issue is her mom right? Seems your spoiled wife had a temper tantrum to you telling her no about the vacation. Some ppl learn different so maybe school and working at the same time wasn't a good idea. You can't help her and get upset about how she's behaving you were part of the problem. All through this i never once heard you say you don't love her or she doesn't love you. Spoiled and out of order yes but marraige is for better or worse.  You're a smart man you will make the decision that's best for you. Calm down and think clearly. Try. Marriage counseling maybe the vacay would be a good idea for the 2 of you to get away and talk things over without her mom on your back. 

Thank you for your wise advise. It was appreciated 

[Rohit004 8]

Well, I am back. I had promised to give update on my situation. I hope I linked it up correctly for those who missed the first thread.

As stated, I am a known member, posting under a pseudonym.

 

Saturday June 22nd 2019

My now wants to do the tax returns- remember she had refused to do it a while back ( refer to my intial thread to refresh). I agree. I will only get like 1/3 of my taxes if I do it alone. I am a gentle guy, so I had even agreed to do it together even after the first fight cz it's  best for her to atleast get the money than leave it for the government. Three weeks ago, within a week of each other, one of our cars broke down and the other got involved in an accident. So we had no choice but to plan for new cars. We agreed to buy one, then lay low and buy another.  So hers was first. I am glad I did not sign for it. Her mom was the cosigner. My excuse was, " I can't cosign cz I also need a loan." It was not easy . We had to fight over this cz she wanted me to cosign. Now she has a new car. 

 

So come Saturday, she wouldn't leave the house even after her mom called her to go fishing. I knew the reason why. She wanted to make sure the money goes to her own account. 

 

We agreed to split 50/50 on tax return. We thought the system would allow us to put 2 accounts and allocation on how the money should be disbursed to each. When we got to that point, we found out that we could only put one account. Knowing her, I told her I'd put it in mine and transfer 50% when we get the money. She flatly refused and said we are not doing taxes. 

 

We went to bed. She later told me the money goes to her account.  Period. If not, she will be leaving again. I said okay okay okay just to shut her off and went to sleep. Apparently,  she thought this was a sign that I had agreed to remit the money in her account. I have no access to her account and I know she was going to use all the money to pay her car off. The only one who has access to her account is her mom. So why would I send it there? We are getting nearly 5 figures in tax returns. Remember,  I am the only one who worked last year. She was a student. So technically,  this was my money.

 

Sunday June 23rd 2019

My wife woke up before 9am. This is one lady who wakes up at 12 noon. So her waking up before 9am is a sign that there is something of interest to her that she is chasing. This time around, it was the money. Most times it is shopping. 

She got the laptop ready that she wants to finish the tax returns. I told her we'd finish it but it will be going to my account. Hell broke loose. Within 1 minute, she called her mom and said I have refused to remit the tax returns in her account as I've always done in the last 3 years. Next thing her mom is bad mouthing me and tells her to leave. She agrees. 

She comes to the room and asks me to leave the house so that she can pack. As I walk out, I realize I don't have my debit. She had it from previous day's shopping, where she used it to buy birthday presents for her little brother.  I asked for it. She refused to give it back. She would later give it back when leaving in her new car. While she was packing,  she trashed the bedroom and said, " I will throw these here. Pick them up after I leave." I remained calm, lest I get accused for domestic violence.

 

Well, I took everyone's advise here. I tried to work it out. It never happened. Now I will be taking the advise of the other half and file for divorce. I am done this time around. I already printed out the divorce papers and filled them. All I need is to smitten her one last time to sign all at once so that I don't have to deal with her drama later on. 

 

My wife has a job now. She only pays for 3 things; her student loan, her insurance ( which brought another fight as she wanted me to pay for) and her car note (which her mom is a cosigner. I won't be surprised if her mom ends up paying this loan and not my wife). My wife's money is her money. Mines is for both of us. I have never been given access to her account,  but she's always lurking in mine and has access. She woke up the other day and told me she was going to transfer money from my account to hers so as  to maintain a certain balance in her account. At that time, she claimed to have $500 and was going to buy breakfast for herself and as such, her balance would fall below $500. 2 days later my eyes caught her looking at her account.  It had $1600.) Basically, she wants me to pay her to maintain a certain balance. At that time, I only had $300 as I am the one who pays ALL bills. 

 

Divorce is my best option here. USCIS just sent me a notice 2 weeks ago that my 90 day window for AOS just opened. I know she won't sign it. So that option is dead. The only viable one left is divorce option. I have to look after my well being now. 

 

 

https://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/707482-just-a-rant/