Is getting married becoming a 'technicality'?

[TBoneTX 46,059]

This line of discussion is not productive, so let's cease it, please.

[Voice of Reason 10,298]

1 hour ago, TBoneTX said:

This line of discussion is not productive, so let's cease it, please.

Helping others get a glimpse of the good life is never a bad thing.  Unruffle your feathers, oh great one.  Nothing "afoul" for you to see here.

[Voice of Reason 10,298]

2 hours ago, Boris Farage said:

How about: if one's wife looks like one's daughter, it's not a particularly seemly look.

 

I do confess, I have on occasion considered trawling the UCLA sorority houses in search of just-this-side-of-child bride material. The difference there would only be around fifteen years give or take, but I'm in good shape and have good genes. I generally go for a female closer to my own age, but I can't deny the allure of an impressionable young coed.

I threw those ages out there because I know those couples.  I admit, 20 years ago,  I probably would have viewed them the way you do now.  But growing older and wiser has helped me to see that age really doesn't matter so much anymore.  The maturity of the individuals matters much more.

 

Of course, the ages do matter when you are talking about youth.  I graduated HS the year my wife was born.  Now THAT would have been an awkward relationship.  But today,  all is well.  Minus some of my jealous classmates.

[laylalex 7,300]

Well, personally I have never had a relationship with anyone more than a year older with me. I went on a date with a guy who was 15 years older than me and it was definitely NOT my thing (though I think I was his sort of thing). It's really important for me (and I mean for me, not others) that my partner has had a similar level of experience in the world. I just wouldn't feel comfortable dating a guy who's in college now (what would we talk about?) or who's about to join AARP (what would we talk about?). 

[Boris Farage 353]

32 minutes ago, ALFKAD said:

I threw those ages out there because I know those couples.  I admit, 20 years ago,  I probably would have viewed them the way you do now.  But growing older and wiser has helped me to see that age really doesn't matter so much anymore.  The maturity of the individuals matters much more.

 

Of course, the ages do matter when you are talking about youth.  I graduated HS the year my wife was born.  Now THAT would have been an awkward relationship.  But today,  all is well.  Minus some of my jealous classmates.

I'll take a shot in the dark here and say that you and your better half probably look and act like you belong together, despite your age differences. It would make me very happy indeed to see such a couple as yourselves.

 

What I speak of is a relationship that is obviously disjointed. One where it is painfully (and I do mean painfully) obvious as to what is going on. As I have said, there are no hard fast rules. But you know it when you see it.

 

My previous comment is based somewhat on a true story. To keep a long story short, I did find myself with a pretty young pledge this past autumn, fifteen'ish years my junior. Not a terribly different age difference as between you and the dear Mrs. ALFKAD. But for us, it didn't last long. If you ask her, I suppose she might say I was a boring old fuddy. As for me, the intellectual age gap proved too much. Very lovely girl, intelligent and driven. But she had not experienced much of life, and therein lay the trappings of our eventual demise.

 

So when I see some fossil with a girl young enough to be his daughter or worse, and where the couple obviously have nothing in common, it does give me pause. Perhaps the situation is like yours, a happy marriage between equal partners. But as the age gap widens, so too does the credulity. Google Howard Marshall and Anna Nicole Smith if you want a good example of what I speak of. Tell me that was true love, and I'll draw up a contract to sell you the Brooklyn Bridge, cheap. I'll even use my best fountain pen.

Edited October 5, 2019 by Boris Farage

[Boiler 46,022]

12 minutes ago, laylalex said:

Well, personally I have never had a relationship with anyone more than a year older with me. I went on a date with a guy who was 15 years older than me and it was definitely NOT my thing (though I think I was his sort of thing). It's really important for me (and I mean for me, not others) that my partner has had a similar level of experience in the world. I just wouldn't feel comfortable dating a guy who's in college now (what would we talk about?) or who's about to join AARP (what would we talk about?). 

You seem to be happy talking on here.

[laylalex 7,300]

4 minutes ago, Boiler said:

You seem to be happy talking on here.

Yeah, but not everyone on here is 15 years older than me, and none of them are trying to get me to be their wife!  

 

AFAIK

 

Edit to add: Seriously, it IS different. I meant it when I said I'm not auditioning for a role as "wife" on here. I don't have to worry about compatibility with anyone on here. And while I can certainly get along with people much older and younger than me, I just don't feel the spark with men who aren't my age. Just as some men like women much younger, I like men who are just about the same age as me. It's only a preference. It's not only about what I think about their brains (though that is of course what I find most attractive about a man), but also in terms of sexual attraction. I'm programmed to think guys my age are attractive, and I've been that way as long as I can remember.

Edited October 5, 2019 by laylalex

[TBoneTX 46,059]

4 hours ago, laylalex said:

I'm programmed to think guys my age are attractive, and I've been that way as long as I can remember.

From my observations over the years, I think that this is prevalent among American females, often to the point of being a disqualifier to those out of range.

[laylalex 7,300]

10 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

From my observations over the years, I think that this is prevalent among American females, often to the point of being a disqualifier to those out of range.

Well, I did try. It just isn't my thing. I happened to choose a good one who's only about two weeks older than me, and it works well for us.  What other people do, how they find their happiness isn't really my business.