Do not Ignore Obvious Signs

[portorusa 431]

High fraud country or not, we are always taking a risk. I mean a foreign spouse. It may work out in the end, or it may not. Fifty-fifty, basically.

No risk, no champagne.

[bynx25 5]

8 minutes ago, NigeriaorBust said:

 When I was in country and we were eating out I remember frequently seeing groups of young men out with friends and working their potential visa sponsors.   Most of the time the kept multiple phones., I assume to make it easier to identify who was ringing them.  One thing they had in common was using the same pet name for every different call.   Sweetie, baby or really popular was "my queen"  If they missed a phone because they were on with another , they were almost working ( I guess scamming is work to them )  and couldn't answer.  

I guess I should've seen it coming, I was the queen, the most beautiful amongst the rest, too much fawning over should've probably been another red flag , the truth of the matter is that he has some sort of superiority complex that he is dealing with, I hate to burst his bubble but most busy and successful, pretty, confidant American girl will not have the heart that I do and accept an offer from a man in a third world country, hopefully in the end he doesn't get a visa here, yes that's spite but I am pissed off, I will not harm him in any way but I sure do hope Karma, God , Allah or whoever comes to bite him in the ### at the end .

2 minutes ago, portorusa said:

High fraud country or not, we are always taking a risk. I mean a foreign spouse. It may work out in the end, or it may not. Fifty-fifty, basically.

No risk, no champagne.

These were my sentiments exactly less than a week ago, verbatim, easier said than having it happen directly to you.

[Jeanne Adil 1,651]

1 minute ago, portorusa said:

High fraud country or not, we are always taking a risk. I mean a foreign spouse. It may work out in the end, or it may not. Fifty-fifty, basically.

No risk, no champagne.

and the same can happen with another USC / some just can not be faithful / some are users and abusers

 

I sometimes watch 90 day fiancee and wonder how any of them got thru the system

 

and i am reminded of The VJ member who waited at the Atlanta airport and waited and got a text messages saying customs was sending her back

when he drove out, he happened to see her leaving in another car

 

 

[bynx25 5]

2 minutes ago, adil-rafa said:

some just can not be faithful

This situation has nothing to do with faithful, I was honing in on things that he was doing and he started pulling away, to my guess he just wanted to make sure he had another person lined up.

[Jeanne Adil 1,651]

from what i could see when i visited Morocco

they line up several to talk to

from many different countries

i do believe that is the reason for ds5535 and the part about all email and social media sites and all phone numbers the bene can use

[Boiler 45,486]

Works both ways, there was a guy recently on here, K1 from Philippines and did not work out, he had a second on hold in case the first one failed.

[bynx25 5]

1 hour ago, Cryssiekins said:

 

Personally, I hated dating.  It was awful, especially in the current culture bc so many people are non-committal and want attention/interest from so many people.  I had comfortably accepted to be single the rest of my life, and then, when I stopped looking and trying to find someone that fit, my Mr. Right came along, and everything before just became history.  

 

@bynx25 The best advice I was ever given was “trust, but verify”.  There are some real sociopaths who can manipulate seamlessly, but if there’s ever even a slight hesitation - explore that.  I’m glad you discovered this early enough to mitigate your pain and losses, and I would encourage you to at least let USCIS/Embassy know your concerns are based on his cheating and that you feel it is potential fraud.  Maybe someone will note that and it will hault him from taking advantage of anyone else if he attempts to find another US spouse. 

I do too, I am not much of a social person, I am actually ,and this is probably the reason why, a  cynic and a very skeptical person which is a complete irony in this situation, people just take my kindness for weakness I guess, I am not sure, doesn't matter either way, I have alot going on in my life professionally and will just focus on that, whatever happened to gentlemen and loyalty? There is none, I am loyal to myself and I will say, I do verify, that's my middle name and that's the point of this post, it even happened to me!

Edited May 6, 2019 by bynx25

[sandytoes 4]

I had a similar situation, except no dating apps, but made it clear it was only to get US citizenship. this was about a week to our planned wedding date. Next day bought her a ticket back home, took her to airport and no contact since then. Of course I was very sad and started to analyze the past 2 years every thing she said or did. Then I said why, get on with life and feel lucky you found out in time.

[bynx25 5]

9 minutes ago, adil-rafa said:

from what i could see when i visited Morocco

they line up several to talk to

from many different countries

i do believe that is the reason for ds5535 and the part about all email and social media sites and all phone numbers the bene can use

Moroccans are high up there on the list of users, makes me sick tbh.

[Honeybun 18]

1 hour ago, bynx25 said:

I did that, and his answer eventhough reasonable still made me wonder, he said that we couldn't survive in his country, he is right but I always wondered if that was just an excuse.

Sorry my acct was locked, yes, it can happen to anyone and this I learned the hard way but thank goodness that I woke up before it was too late.

Ywah lucky for you! I woke up when it was too late!! 

[cyclone27 710]

Marriage is serious business. I can’t stress enough how important it is to take your time getting to know someone however long it takes. 

[bynx25 5]

1 minute ago, sandytoes said:

I had a similar situation, except no dating apps, but made it clear it was only to get US citizenship. this was about a week to our planned wedding date. Next day bought her a ticket back home, took her to airport and no contact since then. Of course I was very sad and started to analyze the past 2 years every thing she said or did. Then I said why, get on with life and feel lucky you found out in time.

I am sorry, so you know the feeling, this is a complete embarrassment for me, I can't even face my family, I don't know how to come out and explain.

[bynx25 5]

1 minute ago, cyclone27 said:

Marriage is serious business. I can’t stress enough how important it is to take your time getting to know someone however long it takes. 

We were together for two years and countless visits before marriage was even an option, this doesn't apply in my case eventhough it is a very valid point.

[Crazy Cat 41,845]

1 minute ago, bynx25 said:

I am sorry, so you know the feeling, this is a complete embarrassment for me, I can't even face my family, I don't know how to come out and explain.

I'm sure your family will be relieved that you had the sense to see the problem and to take action....

[MrsRamirez 231]

30 minutes ago, adil-rafa said:

and i am reminded of The VJ member who waited at the Atlanta airport and waited and got a text messages saying customs was sending her back

when he drove out, he happened to see her leaving in another car 

 

 

WHAT??!!! That is crazy. I am so sorry to hear that!