Do not Ignore Obvious Signs

[Crazy Cat 41,881]

2 minutes ago, junkmart said:

I think the constant attention that one can get on dating sites creates a sort of addiction. When I was dating and on dating apps, there was a constant urge to check in and see new messages, who was on, etc.  IMO, some guys (and women) are unable to give this behavior up. The draw of something new and better is too strong. In most cases, though, I wouldn't say that doing this is fraud. To me, it's cheating.

When I found the "right one", I lost all need to get that kind of attention....

[bestluck 71]

20 minutes ago, Bynx24 said:

Good question, I was one of those saying that it couldn't happen to me because I was this or that and we were real etc AND believe me, I have no advice tbh, the Oscar nominated type performance was so convincing that it didn't even cross my mind. As a left brained individual I was skeptical from the beginning, but as time progressed and we interacted and I experienced the feelings amongst us, I was convinced, these freaking con artists are so good, whoa, I mean good. Anything for the green card, next time around if there is one, I will stick with my good ole' American man !

Cancel the interview call NVC , Moved on with your life and stop taking to him , he can not get green card so easy without you , wish you all best luck and stay positive and strong. 

[junkmart 320]

5 minutes ago, missileman said:

When I found the "right one", I lost all need to get that kind of attention....

Same here. I have all the attention I need from the one I love. Hoping the same for OP.

[Meisha&Jake 869]

So sad to hear this has happened to you... I would be absolutely beside myself so I admire your bravery & you sound very strong emotionally.

 

Best wishes

[Jeanne Adil 1,651]

we   don't need to know the country or particulars 

but you say don't ignore the signs,  did you see warning signs before the visa ?

[Honeybun 18]

1 hour ago, Bynx24 said:

For the sake of anonymity I have created a new account with the hopes of sharing my current situation and possibly helping someone else. I am an active member on here and do not and will not share any personal details so do not ask because I am not sharing, all I will say is that he is from a high fraud country.

 

My situation is the following:

 

I caught my husband talking to women and on dating sites, he has displayed countless times that when we are okay he is faithful, when we have a disagreement or argument he flies to open a dating app and starts talking to others. I didn't want to believe that he was just in it for a green card but I should've gone with what was being shown to me. He showed me that he was ungrateful, disrespectful and childish yet I chose to continue, I am a beautiful woman so for those people always talking about red flag this or that, I am young and good looking with a great job and personality. He put up the best of farces to get what he ultimately wanted. I have now cut the cord and moving forward, I am not a weak person and do not accept BS, this is cut with no return. Hoping that you ladies open your eyes to the signs and if it doesn't feel right is because it isn't.

 

Good luck to all on your journeys.

 

Amber

I wish I could give you a hug right now. The same thing happened to me. I always felt something wasn’t right. And it wasn’t ! My ex husband who I petition to come from the DR had a double life while we were married so please !! Don’t think you are alone. 

[John & Rose 7,239]

29 minutes ago, junkmart said:

I think the constant attention that one can get on dating sites creates a sort of addiction. When I was dating and on dating apps, there was a constant urge to check in and see new messages, who was on, etc.  IMO, some guys (and women) are unable to give this behavior up. The draw of something new and better is too strong. In most cases, though, I wouldn't say that doing this is fraud. To me, it's cheating.

That is a great point.  I believed it right up until I met Rose.  I was actually worried about that.  I always stayed on sites and talked to others while I was dating.  Once I met Rose I got off everything.  I even surprised myself.  It was an addiction and she cured me.  

[MjC772 94]

I always thought one effective way to filter these people out is, after you meet, just talk about moving to their country, ask about jobs, housing, visa requirements, etc... you'll most likely find out very quickly by their behavior or their sudden disappearance from your life.  

[bynx25 5]

33 minutes ago, missileman said:

When I found the "right one", I lost all need to get that kind of attention....

It's Amber, I had to open a new acct because it locked me out , it said wait 24 hours, number of posts exceeded, so I can not answer to anyone or message, can this be fixed????

[Cryssiekins 976]

38 minutes ago, missileman said:

When I found the "right one", I lost all need to get that kind of attention....

 

32 minutes ago, junkmart said:

Same here. I have all the attention I need from the one I love. Hoping the same for OP.

Personally, I hated dating.  It was awful, especially in the current culture bc so many people are non-committal and want attention/interest from so many people.  I had comfortably accepted to be single the rest of my life, and then, when I stopped looking and trying to find someone that fit, my Mr. Right came along, and everything before just became history.  

 

@bynx25 The best advice I was ever given was “trust, but verify”.  There are some real sociopaths who can manipulate seamlessly, but if there’s ever even a slight hesitation - explore that.  I’m glad you discovered this early enough to mitigate your pain and losses, and I would encourage you to at least let USCIS/Embassy know your concerns are based on his cheating and that you feel it is potential fraud.  Maybe someone will note that and it will hault him from taking advantage of anyone else if he attempts to find another US spouse. 

[bynx25 5]

26 minutes ago, MjC772 said:

I always thought one effective way to filter these people out is, after you meet, just talk about moving to their country, ask about jobs, housing, visa requirements, etc... you'll most likely find out very quickly by their behavior or their sudden disappearance from your life.  

I did that, and his answer eventhough reasonable still made me wonder, he said that we couldn't survive in his country, he is right but I always wondered if that was just an excuse.

29 minutes ago, Honeybun said:

I wish I could give you a hug right now. The same thing happened to me. I always felt something wasn’t right. And it wasn’t ! My ex husband who I petition to come from the DR had a double life while we were married so please !! Don’t think you are alone. 

Sorry my acct was locked, yes, it can happen to anyone and this I learned the hard way but thank goodness that I woke up before it was too late.

[bynx25 5]

40 minutes ago, adil-rafa said:

we   don't need to know the country or particulars 

but you say don't ignore the signs,  did you see warning signs before the visa ?

I did but I was too in love to question them.

[Derik-Lina 230]

44 minutes ago, adil-rafa said:

we   don't need to know the country or particulars 

but you say don't ignore the signs,  did you see warning signs before the visa ?

Again, the sad part is the fact that this person and the likes fly thru the Visa system;

Just like he almost swindled the USC, he could very possibly get Visa in hand within 3 days after Interview.

Very sad that many USC's don t do their homework like the OP and cut the cord as she says. 

 

Op must be very active here and spread the word although many are blinded by "love".

 

And Yes. Families do take part in the Scam, as the Beneficiary will become a Mac Machine once here  
 

 

Edited May 6, 2019 by Derik-Lina

[bynx25 5]

3 minutes ago, Derik-Lina said:

Again, the sad part is the fact that this person and the likes fly thru the Visa system; 

Just like he almost swindled the USC, he could very possibly get Visa in hand within 3 days.

Very sad that many USC's don t their homework like the OP and cut the cord as she says. 
 

 

It is a difficult situation especially for a woman like myself who is in love, I understand why women stay and close their eye on certain things, the different with me is that I am not up for games or wasting my time, I want a serious relationship and a solid family foundation and I am not going to give away free visas and be screwed in the end having to support him and just the embarrassment of it all, I do not even know you guys personally and I am hiding my identity this way, can you imagine what my family would say? No way, not to me it won't, he can go screw himself and fly a kite .

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

 When I was in country and we were eating out I remember frequently seeing groups of young men out with friends and working their potential visa sponsors.   Most of the time the kept multiple phones., I assume to make it easier to identify who was ringing them.  One thing they had in common was using the same pet name for every different call.   Sweetie, baby or really popular was "my queen"  If they missed a phone because they were on with another , they were almost working ( I guess scamming is work to them )  and couldn't answer.