Tips on How to Ease the Transition

[Celie 793]

On 4/26/2019 at 11:25 PM, TBoneTX said:

3.  Cover pink mohawk/purple mohawk/Seagal ponytail with MAGA cap

Update on this: In a twisting turn of events, he shaved all his hair off this weekend and decided to surprise me lol

 

On 4/27/2019 at 4:34 AM, Bill & Katya said:

I know when my then fiancé came over, I knew it would be a big difference for her.  First and foremost, I made sure she had a way to communicate back with her family as she is very close to them as well, so a phone was the first stop.  I also made sure I had three weeks vacation so I had time to help her adjust.  I also made sure I also dealt with the little things like referring to the house as our house, or our car so she would feel at home instead of just a visitor.  When I went back to work, we talked and we decided to get a dog so she did not feel so alone when I was in the office.  I also made sure she got to meet all the family here before the wedding.  Additionally, as others have said, I encouraged her to meet friends from Russia, and she now has some very close friends that are nearby.

To me, it is the little things that count the most.

Good Luck!

Thank you! Yes, it's specially hard in the house situation because until September we will be living with my mom and sister in a tight little apartment so we gotta make do with what we have. But I do want him to get to meet all my family in increments to hopefully make him feel more at home. Thank you!!

 

On 4/27/2019 at 6:02 AM, Zoeeeeeee said:

Just want to say @celie&joseph, you’re already helping ease the transition for your husband, because by asking on here shows that you’re consciously thinking about it and that you care - that’s fantastic and your husband will no doubt really appreciate this 💕💕

Thank you!! ❤️ His mom has been crying continuously for a few days and he was starting to feel bad so I want to make it as easy for him as possible here so he can work through the pain of the move.

 

On 4/27/2019 at 7:30 AM, NikLR said:

OP. Because your future husband is coming on a fiance visa, this will be harder on him.  For 6 months (ish) he wont beable to be an independent adult.  You will go to work each day and he will stay home. 

If possible get him a bus pass and the path to the local library.  

Yes, that's a big issue for him. Luckily, the local bus pass is about 30 a month for unlimited rides so i think we are gonna do that. And I love the library idea! I'm gonna look up the closest one we can go to.

 

On 4/27/2019 at 8:22 AM, adil-rafa said:

Make sure he has a good cell phone and WIFI so he can talk to family and friends back home for free on whatsapp, etc

and find an international market to buy foods he is familar with

I started growing mint for my husband's tea as he bought 3 pieces of mint with him

the biggest issue he will have is being alone while you work till he gets the cards that allow him to find a job /that is why i say important to be able to talk to family

when he first comes take time to drive him around and get him familiar with the area 

when i lived in California people kept to themselves and i found it hard to make new friends as i was from a big family too/ i moved from upstate NY to California /  i was real homesick /but now there are cell phones and facebook /should help and congratulations 

make his problems smooth and keep the romance alive

That's so sweet you planted mint for him! I have stocked up on bulgur (which I refer to as bird seed because that's what it smells like lol) to make kebbe and some of his favorite lebanese foods and he's bringing tons of coffee with him since that's their thing there. Now I'm thinking though growing some plants at home might actually be a really good idea to keep him busy. His dad loves plants and has a huge garden and I think that would keep him connected somehow to home. Thank you!

 

On 4/27/2019 at 11:34 AM, George & Roth said:

-> One big help is to find the foods your fiance loves. I located 3 Asian food stores and my wife (Cambodian) loves them. Unfortunately, she is a slow shopper and I am stuck moving about the stores like a sloth. I hate shopping but she likes to go together.... the things we do for love!

-> Find restaurants. We would eat authentic Thai food regularly in Cambodia, I located a few good ones near our home and she is happy.

-> I made sure she had a way to get around until the driving license was sorted.

-> I also think that we had another child keeps us so busy it is hard to have time to feel homesick but I'm not going to suggest you go and get pregnant for that reason 🤪

 

All of that and she/he is still going to miss home. Being away from family is tough! She does like to talk about our trip back to visit, even though it won't be soon it's seemed to help when we talk about it a bit. 

This is so true. I feel like even if we do our best, there will still be those down moments... which is perfectly okay. I just hope he blends the cultures together smoothly. But he does often talk about having his mom come and visit us and that does help him a bit with the anxiety of coming.

 

On 4/27/2019 at 12:09 PM, purem4g1c said:

Well I am from Ottawa Ontario, and even if I go to Toronto it feels like a total different place and I don't feel at "home" anymore. Yes I am in the same country, but it doesn't have a "home" feel probably because lack of time to adjust to how that city moves. I have also been to Montreal a lot of times and that doesn't feel like home either! So I think its mostly just a time to adapt thing. Also due to the fact you don't "know" anyone there... But strangely when I go to America and I am with my fiance I feel at home where ever I go.

That's awesome!!! I hope he eventually feels the way you do about Texas. He already loves it from far away but it's not the same being here in 110 degree weather lol

 

On 4/28/2019 at 1:15 AM, TBoneTX said:

Bill said earlier that he made sure to refer to his house as "our house."

Excellent idea.

Female beneficiaries will appreciate being able to (re)decorate.

Extend the same opportunity to your dude.

Offer him a room or a wall where he can hang his shotgun, moose antlers, or whatever.

 

I'm reminded of what the arriving wife-to-be of a buddy of mine did.  She spent just about a full day on 4 flights from Ecuador, arrived at his house, marched into his bedroom closet, and immediately began tossing out clothes that she deemed beneath her standards.  (This was her first act!)  The next day, she pulled his antlers off the den wall, plus other outrages.  (Had Mrs. T-B.-to-be tried any of this, her shapely hindquarters would have been on the next scheduled conveyance back to Ecu; fortunately, I had no antlers.)

Thisss. I have caught myself having to correct myself and say "our room" instead of "my room" lol and the wall idea is really good! I have a whole empty wall i didn't know what to do with so i hung a big corkboard with pictures of him and me, him and his family, him and his friends but now I feel I'm gonna give him liberty to do what we wants with it. At least until September when we can move out and he has more space and freedom.

 

On 4/28/2019 at 1:21 AM, TBoneTX said:

This idea was proposed by the member Darnell, years ago, in terms of finding work.

You might apply it to your K-1 arrival.

He'll meet people, practice his English, feel valued, and make employment contacts for later.

------------------------

Each city has a chamber of commerce. Find it.

Go Get Em, and Good Luck!

PS - live in a really small town? go to the biggest town that's within 15 miles of your house.

This is also gold! We live in San Antonio so it's not small and it does have plenty of opportunities to make contacts. I will make it a point to do this when he comes.

 

 

 

 

Thank you everyone for your kind words and amazing suggestions!!! He's at the airport now waiting to board and this merry-go-round is about to get twirlin'! ❤️

Edited April 29, 2019 by celie&joseph

[TBoneTX 46,087]

10 hours ago, celie&joseph said:

growing some plants at home

Bluebonnets!

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Be sure to report back, after you come up for air.

[Celie 793]

On 4/30/2019 at 2:33 AM, TBoneTX said:

Bluebonnets!

---

Be sure to report back, after you come up for air.

Yes!! I took some to his dad on my first trip so that would be totally fitting!

 

And update:

 

I would be if Qatar Airways hadnt overbooked their flights 🙄

 

It was the worst experience but ended not so bad. We got notification that his flight was delayed but I told him to still show up on time so he did 3 hours before the original departure.  He waited 3 hours for it and and then an additional 2.5 hours for it because of the delay. He had a 2 hour layover in Doha so this was already pushing things but they said hed be safe because they were taking a shortcut through Syria. 

 

He arrived with 45 min to spare and ran to the gate. When he arrived it was still showing boarding but they didnt let him through anymore. They said he was late and the flight was closed. He explained to them his flight was delayed but they didnt want to hear it. Then they took him to customer service who said he was being deported back to Lebanon because the next flight left the following day and it would pass the automatic 24 hour grace period transit Visa in Qatar. They told him he had to buy another ticket when he arrived in Beirut. At that point he lost it. 

 

They called Customs and THANKFULLY they refused to deport him. They said it was the airlines mistake and went to talk to idk who to resolve the situation. The airline manager came back after a few mins and gave him a ticket for tomorrow (which is today), 250 qitari royals (I think that's what their currency is called), and booked him a 4 star hotel for the night with transportation to and from the airport. Customs also extended him a Visa for another 24 hours. When he arrived at the hotel, turns out like 40 people from different flights (some from his also) had to be offered the same thing because they did the same thing to them. Unfortunately though some wont be flying out until the 2nd or 3rd. 

 

Long story short though, he got to enjoy a day in Qatar expense free and is now in the air coming home to arrive tomorrow 💜 not what we had in mind but with this Visa journey we have learned to roll with the punches. Lol

Edited May 1, 2019 by celie&joseph

[TBoneTX 46,087]

Holy mackerel.  This is an example to all of what can happen, and why it's highly risky to wait till the last day of visa validity (which you, fortunately, didn't have to sweat).

 

What with the stay in the fancy hotel, he'll be more rested upon U.S. arrival.

 

In even better news, this gives you time to get MAGA caps in red AND white.  

[Prizm123 1,086]

get him a monthly via pass and ride the bus with him so he can navigate the city when you are at work

its what I am planning to do, also enrolling her in SEFLA classes while she waits for her EAD/LPR etc

also on weekends just do stuff like go to the zoo or seaworld or fiesta texas or out to La Cantera, the riverwalk, the alamo, and all that sort of thing, find some cool restaurants to go to

 

I figure since I will be at work , then she can do some exploring. The first place she wants to go is the IKEA store

[TBoneTX 46,087]

OP is quiet, presumably positively distracted.  

[Celie 793]

13 hours ago, Prizm123 said:

get him a monthly via pass and ride the bus with him so he can navigate the city when you are at work

its what I am planning to do, also enrolling her in SEFLA classes while she waits for her EAD/LPR etc

also on weekends just do stuff like go to the zoo or seaworld or fiesta texas or out to La Cantera, the riverwalk, the alamo, and all that sort of thing, find some cool restaurants to go to

 

I figure since I will be at work , then she can do some exploring. The first place she wants to go is the IKEA store

Yes! I definitely want to get him a bus pass once he starts feeling comfortable with getting around, probably by next paycheck.

We just went to the Riverwalk and the Alamo and he absolutely loved it. Now we need the Aquarium, the zoo, and the safari. We are taking it slow as to not exhaust ourselves but it's been so fun so far!

 

 

13 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

OP is quiet, presumably positively distracted.  

 

 

Hey y'all! Yes, he arrived safely in Texas May 1st and for the first time in 3 years I lost track of my phone and focused on catching up.

 

So far, we have visited the Riverwalk, the Alamo things like that. I bought all kinds of tickets but we ended up doing simple stuff like having a bbq or going to the movies etc.

 

He likes:

 

- beef jerky (wonders where it's been all his life lol)

- the dollar store (we have visited every single day since he arrived because he is obsessed with it) He goes by every aisle, makes a sales pitch to me and says "and just for $1!"

- Dunkin coffee (he says it's better than Lebanese Dunkin)

- squirrels (and makes us stop every.time.he.sees.one.)

 

He dislikes:

 

- Dr. Pepper

- the fact that America has so many homeless people being such a progressive country

 

Truly, it has been such an experience getting to see everything from a fresh new pair of eyes and I can't wait for whatever comes next. Thank you all for you awesome advice!! ❤️

[Prizm123 1,086]

has he had big red and barbacoa yet?

 

its almost time for schlitterbahn too lol

 

Edited May 6, 2019 by Prizm123

[Celie 793]

4 minutes ago, Prizm123 said:

has he had big red and barbacoa yet?

 

its almost time for schlitterbahn too lol

 

hahah you're the second person to ask me that. He has not but he's not a fan of cow tongue [insert excessive hispanic crying here]. Hopefully he tries it anyway this Sunday when my mom makes it and he likes it lol will keep ya updated. When is your fiancee coming?

[Prizm123 1,086]

we are thinking June first week

 

[TBoneTX 46,087]

Great that he's seeming to adapt so well.  Obviously, much of it can be credited to you!

Tell him that there's no period after the "Dr" in "Dr Pepper" and see if that changes his mind about it.

If he likes dollar stores this much this soon, he's ready for citizenship already.  Introduce him to thrift stores.

How does he look in his MAGA cap?