Child Support-Please help

[MrsDarby 0]

Hello,

I have a big concern...my fiance just moved over 2 weeks ago. We are getting married in one week, and our lawyer has told us that he probably won't be able to work (get permission) until the very earliest of July. That's 3 months out of work plus the month he's already been out of work. Naturally finances are very tight. We are having a traditional wedding, and my parents are paying for MOST of it. So what little money my fiance has is saved for day-to-day living and emergencies.

My fiance was married before in England, and they have a child together. Since getting divorced and paying chil support (just over one year) my fiance has been paying 35% more each month than recommended for his income bracket. He also paid for half of her lawyers fees and divorce fees. He also paid half of her moving expenses so she could be closer to her family. All these outgoings have put him in the hole financially.

Anyway, he has told her that he will not be able to pay for a couple months until he is working (by the way he has been out of work for one month and has paid during this time). She wrote him a pretty nasty e-mail about how she is going to go to her lawyer again (this whole thing has been very messy) and will seek legal assistance against him. She says that her lawyer can "get him" over here, and he'll be paying more because they will consider my income too. Does anyone have any experience with this? Can she really go after him in the U.S.?

PLEASE UNDERSTAND THIS...he has paid more than he is required to pay. This is a VERY temporary situation until he is working again. He just plain old does not have the money to pay right now. His child's mother is very well off, so she is not struggling in the least (although she claims she is). She got a huge settlement when her father passed away. Not to mention that she has a good job and no house payment. Yes, he should also be responsible to pay for his child, and he would be if he could be working. Of course it's not his decision to not be working.

Thanks for any advice.

[chocolaterie 0]

It sounds like a very complicated situation. I would suggest seeking legal assistance through charitable organizations like a local church because you're tight on finances. I do believe she can still hold child support against him but I do not believe she can go after your income. But I think it would be harder for her to come after him, because he is in a different country. I wish I could help you more! good luck.

[mrswooten4ever 0]

The only way she can "go after him" in the US is if she files a claim in the US courts and doing that from the UK will be very very expensive and no they can't take your income into account for his child support. Maybe he should contact the child support agency here in the UK or get a lawyer that side to write as for all intents and purposes he is currently unemployed.

http://www.csa.gov.uk/new/ link for UK Child Support Agency

Good Luck

Adele

http://www.csa.gov.uk/new/apply/#Q8

Deals with case in question

good Luck

Adele

Edited March 25, 2006 by MrsW2B

[Donna A 4]

my husband hasnt paid his support in almost 2 years only because he dont have a job yet and his dad went to pay it for him to the support agency in syria and since his ex hadnt picked up the support from them in 3 months they closed the case and she has to sue him again for it. but she has not been able to come after him or my wages yet with him living here.

she did threaten to hire a lawyer here but im sure that cost way too much and it was just a threat.

his divorse was also pretty messy and they gave her more then she was supose to get for the dowry since she left the marriege she was not entitled to it all so he had to appeal it. so she was mad and threatened to sue him in america. im sure she thinks he is probably rich living here but sorry to say he is unemployed and not rich.

[gag54611 1]

Reading the links at MrsW2B's post, it seems that there is a reciprocal arrangement with the US, so it is possible that she could come after him in the US via the child support agency.

I would think that his best approach would be to discuss directly with the CSA, what his options are.

Regarding your income being included in the calculation, that is not how child support works in the US. Your income should be excluded.

Best of luck,

G

[daisy16 0]

First off, I know absolutely nothing about child support issues, however, I'm going to throw in my advice anyway

This is such an emotional time for you, and the ex is playing hardball, both things are causing you a great deal of stress. From the sounds of it, it will be good for your guy to get far away from her!

If he misses a couple of months, big deal. He sounds like the type of guy who follows through on his commitments and would never shirk his duty to his kids ( a definite keeper ) She's not going to go through the HUGE expense of suing him in another country just over a couple of late payments. Even if she did get the ball rolling, by the time it even saw court he'll be here working and will have sent her money, so the court/lawyers would have a non issue. She's just trying to get her last bit of attention while she has him around. She's a blowhard, shooting her mouth off about stuff she knows little, trying to get him to pay attention to her, even if it's him angry at her.

Try not to worry, he'll be here soon. He'll get a job after a few months and you two will get back on stable ground financially, and then he'll makeup/continue his financial obligations to his child. It could be a relief to know that his child won't suffer because the ex is well off.

hugs

[MrsDarby 0]

Thank you to those of you who responded. It sounds like she could force him to pay from the U.S., but it also sounds like a long and drawn out process. Probably not one that's worth her time when this situation is only temporary.

She knows that his parents will be here today for our wedding which is next weekend. She also knows our wedding is next weekend, so I'm sure her emotions are running high too. She just doesn't want him to be happy, and she's trying to make a mess of a situation that doesn't need to be made messy and involve people that don't need to be involved, like my fiance's mom.

I didn't think they would be able to take into consideration my account. Again she's just back to her usual tactics. I'm sorry my fiance is so far away from his son, but I'm not sorry that we are far away from her. I wish it could be just a little farther!

Thanks.

Anymore advice would be great too.

[gimygirl 0]

what state do you live in? there aren't any reciprocal child support agreements between the UK & Alabama, Mississippi, South Carolina, or the District of Columbia.

since you seem to have a grasp on it now and realize that it will be a long drawn out process which will be expensive on her end, the only advice i have to offer is:

have him send her a factual, non-emotional certified letter (recorded delivery in the UK) of his circumstances. he should explain that he is legally not able to be employed until he successfully receives employment documentation which can sometimes take up to 4-6 months. i would give a buffer of 4-6 months in case of an RFE and then actually finding a job. once he finds empoyment he will resume his payments of 'x' amount of dollars/pounds ... and for what it's worth he should not send a penny more than he legally has to!!

sounds like you have found a great guy!!! best of luck to you!!

[Patricia_and_andy 0]

copping my post in this thread too...

Here is our experience!!! this is happening to Andy (UK) as we speak.

1.) Andy wnats to pay child support

2.) immigrates to USA, has enough money in savings UK account which child support is direct debited out of for approx 3 months.

3.) Savings about to run out.. Andy calls Child support agency in the UK explains to them the situation that his savings has run out ... he is in USA and wants to set up direct debit from here to pay his support.

4.) Child support agency says "YOU DON"T HAVE TO PAY now that you are in the USA" also there is no means to debit from USA for child support.

5.) Andy insists that he wants to pay and child support agency says again "YOU DON"T HAVE TO PAY>> and the only thing ex-spouse can do is try to take it to court but it is hardly ever up held.... child support agency does NOTHING to seek payment from parent in the USA."

6.) Andy gives up with child support agency tells them that he will continue to pay via other means.

7.) We set up a bank account here in the use... send debit card to his ex... and she withdrawls her weekly support .

So to answer your question ... yes she can try to take him to court for payment of child support... it would be an expensive and drawn out affair that would probably take long than his 3 months to get his EAD. I would say his best bet is to send a certified copy of a letter to his EX as well as the child support agency (keeping the orginial certified copy for himself) detailing his intent to pay support when he starts working. Also notifying the child support agency in England via phone to let them know what is happening. This way he is covered if she indeed takes him to court.. This will at least give him documentation of his intentions.

Andy sent a letter to his ex and the child support agency just to make sure he is in a way protected if his ex tries to say he isn't paying.

I hope this has helped some if you need any more information send me a pm and I will be happy to give more of our experience.

Patricia

[Aymerlu 3]

She cannot get your income, only his.