B2 Tourist Visa Extension

[HappyAndIKnowIt 24]

26 minutes ago, SusieQQQ said:

OP, I have no words of wisdom, but possibly contrary to some others here I wanted to say well done for being fair minded and level headed and still looking out for the best for your child despite a wife who seems to have used you and has behaved less than fairly by your account. Wanting her to be able to naturalize as soon as possible despite all that certainly shows no vindictiveness. I hope nevertheless that you have a good lawyer. Good luck with all of this, it's clear you want what's best for the kid and being a present father is part of that.

Thanks Susie.  Part of me believes in her heart, she is good, but her mother has corrupted her and lead her down this path.

[geowrian 22,336]

1 hour ago, Going through said:

Just wanted to mention this is not necessarily true in all cases.  Military couples live separately all the time, some couples temporarily live separately for financial/familial reasons.  There's no requirement by USCIS that the couple has to physically live under the same roof to be living under marital union...if two spouses still jointly contribute to bills, maintain a relationship, share expenses, house payments/what-have-you, they are not breaking marital union by living in two separate residences.

 

I realize that this is not the OP's case as it seems divorce proceedings are underway, but just wanted to further clarify the bolded part. 

 

Finalized divorce before adjudication/oath would make her ineligible for the 3-year rule, yes.

Correct. Marital union does not strictly require living together, although there is a very strong presumption unless there is a valid explanation (i.e. military families, work, school, etc.). But in the OP's case, living apart is pretty much a certainty of not living in marital union, and a pending divorce seals the deal.

[Going through 5,668]

6 minutes ago, geowrian said:

Correct. Marital union does not strictly require living together, although there is a very strong presumption unless there is a valid explanation (i.e. military families, work, school, etc.). But in the OP's case, living apart is pretty much a certainty of not living in marital union, and a pending divorce seals the deal.

Agreed.

 

On an aside---- I just spotted a few posts ago where OP said he is still currently living in the same home as his wife?  OP are you just living in the same home, or you two still living in marital union (ie. sharing bank account/bills/etc.)?  With a pending divorce, might not be the best idea if you can avoid it...

Edited April 17, 2019 by Going through

[WeGuyGal 1,052]

1 hour ago, HappyAndIKnowIt said:

Thanks Susie.  Part of me believes in her heart, she is good, but her mother has corrupted her and lead her down this path.

Part of me isn't so sure about your assumptions, having read way too many stories about the opposite (about Ukrainian women's thinking). Perhaps the MIL has her own ideas about a green card and what not. But you know all this firsthand.. 

[HappyAndIKnowIt 24]

1 hour ago, Going through said:

Agreed.

 

On an aside---- I just spotted a few posts ago where OP said he is still currently living in the same home as his wife?  OP are you just living in the same home, or you two still living in marital union (ie. sharing bank account/bills/etc.)?  With a pending divorce, might not be the best idea if you can avoid it...

We are living in the same house still.  When I learned of the plan to take my baby to Ukraine, I removed nearly everything from the joint checking account to a separate account in my name only.  I have been paying bills from these funds and my paychecks, while she has taken the liberty to deposit her paychecks into a separate account with no contribution to household bills, including the care for our baby.  I never took away her use of the credit cards, however I dropped their credit limits to a minimum.

 

As part of the divorce process, there are preliminary orders such as custody and financial stuff.  Whatever you don't agree on is fought over in a contested hearing, which we shall have in a couple weeks.  I anticipate she will be ordered to begin contributing to the household expenses and care of her baby.

[SalishSea 17,047]

2 minutes ago, HappyAndIKnowIt said:

We are living in the same house still.  When I learned of the plan to take my baby to Ukraine, I removed nearly everything from the joint checking account to a separate account in my name only.  I have been paying bills from these funds and my paychecks, while she has taken the liberty to deposit her paychecks into a separate account with no contribution to household bills, including the care for our baby.  I never took away her use of the credit cards, however I dropped their credit limits to a minimum.

 

As part of the divorce process, there are preliminary orders such as custody and financial stuff.  Whatever you don't agree on is fought over in a contested hearing, which we shall have in a couple weeks.  I anticipate she will be ordered to begin contributing to the household expenses and care of her baby.

Personally, I would get the court-ordered parenting plan with residential schedule taken care of ASAP, so that when you do move out, she will have no grounds to deny you time with your baby.  Hopefully her lawyer will explain the consequences of contempt of court.

[HappyAndIKnowIt 24]

54 minutes ago, WeGuyGal said:

Part of me isn't so sure about your assumptions, having read way too many stories about the opposite (about Ukrainian women's thinking). Perhaps the MIL has her own ideas about a green card and what not. But you know all this firsthand.. 

One thing about my wife is that she is a hard worker.  Unfortunately, hard working people tend to be sensitive to being taken advantage of by those who do not work hard.  MIL has apparently convinced my wife that I do not work because I don't go to some place other than my home office to work.  My work flexibility was great when I was driving my wife to and from work for 2 hours each day, but now when we are fighting over custody of our baby, she is quite unhappy with my employment and wants me to get a job outside the home.

[HappyAndIKnowIt 24]

5 minutes ago, Jorgedig said:

Personally, I would get the court-ordered parenting plan with residential schedule taken care of ASAP, so that when you do move out, she will have no grounds to deny you time with your baby.  Hopefully her lawyer will explain the consequences of contempt of court.

Based on everything I know about my case, I won't be moving out.  My wife has stated her desire to sell the house, she doesn't want to live in it, and can't afford it.  I intend to keep it, as it was primarily my pre-marital and separate property that contributed to the down payment.  There seems no interest by any of the parties, including the court, for either parent to move out and away from our baby.  Even if my wife tried to get me out, I'm afraid it would backfire on her quite harshly.

[SalishSea 17,047]

3 minutes ago, HappyAndIKnowIt said:

Based on everything I know about my case, I won't be moving out.  My wife has stated her desire to sell the house, she doesn't want to live in it, and can't afford it.  I intend to keep it, as it was primarily my pre-marital and separate property that contributed to the down payment.  There seems no interest by any of the parties, including the court, for either parent to move out and away from our baby.  Even if my wife tried to get me out, I'm afraid it would backfire on her quite harshly.

Okay.  But if she moves out and takes the baby with her, you will want to have a document specifying the arrangement for time with the baby. 

[Going through 5,668]

Reading this thread over again...just wanted to throw this out there....

 

You seem (at least on the surface since we only know your side of things) that you're quite amicable with your wife still, and I've also noticed you've defended her character a few times in this thread....there's no hope for marriage counselling or reconciliation at all?  

 

[Boiler 44,004]

I can not help but think your expectation as to how this play out and the likely reality bearing in mind the system you are up against may not match.

 

Hopefully you have good legal guidance.

[The_Empyrean 733]

Damn dude.. I'm sorry that you're in such a mess, stuck between "Mr. Know-it-all" MIL and (removed) crazy ex.

Her extension will be denied definitely, so no worries there. The affidavit is invalid as others mentioned.

Now all i can think of, and advise. Set up couple cameras inside the house, as i see what they are trying to do to you. Ohio is one-party consent recording law. You're covered there. Advantages are that IF they accuse you of abuse, you can counter accuse of false claims and get MIL deported for overstay and bullcrap reports, AND unauthorized work with video recordings. Another upside, you'll have baby monitors at the same time. They gonna try to victimize you, be prepared and have your eyes open. They tried already. They'll do it again, it's just a matter of time. 

 

Some said, focus on growing your kid up as a dad. Do that instead. 

Edited April 17, 2019 by Unlockable
Edited to remove inappropriate language

[geowrian 22,336]

Just a note: single party consent covers public areas, not private spaces like inside a home. You can, of course, put cameras up in your own home (minus potentially the bedroom or bathroom, where there is an extra presumption of privacy), but it sounds like this is a home shared by others. Their consent would still be needed.

Just make sure it’s done (if you did go that route) right as to avoid getting into trouble yourself. Single party recording laws aren’t intended and do not cover hidden recordings where there is an expectation of privacy.

[Boiler 44,004]

How is he going to get MIL deported?

[HappyAndIKnowIt 24]

12 hours ago, Jorgedig said:

Okay.  But if she moves out and takes the baby with her, you will want to have a document specifying the arrangement for time with the baby. 

We have a court order in place specifying just that.  If she wants to move out, the baby stays.

 

12 hours ago, Going through said:

Reading this thread over again...just wanted to throw this out there....

 

You seem (at least on the surface since we only know your side of things) that you're quite amicable with your wife still, and I've also noticed you've defended her character a few times in this thread....there's no hope for marriage counselling or reconciliation at all?  

 

 

Even though I do believe she has a good heart, she has shown an extremely selfish side in this fiasco.  She, with her mother, have deliberately preventing me from fathering my child, physically blocked me access to my child, and completely ignored basic baby safety issues, such as insisting the three of them sleep together in one bed.  I have photos with them in bed where you can barely see the top of my baby's head, covered in blankets.  My wife has disregarded my input as a father.  Also, before she actually filed divorce, she had threatened divorce for really stupid reasons, just to get her way.  It seems, unfortunately, divorce is the only way to put a stop to this behavior.  She has refused voluntary counseling and if someone doesn't want to change, no amount of counseling will work.

 

12 hours ago, Boiler said:

I can not help but think your expectation as to how this play out and the likely reality bearing in mind the system you are up against may not match.

 

Hopefully you have good legal guidance.

 

I'm with you on that, as far as the system I'm up against.  I definitely have a good attorney, so much so that my wife told me that attorneys didn't want to go against him and she had trouble getting an attorney herself.  I'm not sure how much of that I believe, as it could very likely have been that these attorneys realized my wife's story was ridiculous.

 

3 hours ago, The_Empyrean said:

Damn dude.. I'm sorry that you're in such a mess, stuck between "Mr. Know-it-all" MIL and (removed) crazy ex.

Her extension will be denied definitely, so no worries there. The affidavit is invalid as others mentioned.

Now all i can think of, and advise. Set up couple cameras inside the house, as i see what they are trying to do to you. Ohio is one-party consent recording law. You're covered there. Advantages are that IF they accuse you of abuse, you can counter accuse of false claims and get MIL deported for overstay and bullcrap reports, AND unauthorized work with video recordings. Another upside, you'll have baby monitors at the same time. They gonna try to victimize you, be prepared and have your eyes open. They tried already. They'll do it again, it's just a matter of time. 

 

Some said, focus on growing your kid up as a dad. Do that instead. 

I mentioned earlier how they called the police on me multiple times.  Ironically, each time the police came, they gave me advice.  The first officers advised me that I could not prevent her from taking my baby without a court order.  So, after they left, I went to the court house and had a court order by the end of the day granting me full custody pending a review hearing the following week.  The second time they called 911, the cop suggested I evict the mother.  Whether she would have been evicted or not is kind of murky, but I didn't attempt.  The third time they called 911, one of the officers advised that I record everything.  I have so much video and audio recordings that trying to organize things for my attorney takes precious time that I can't spend with my baby.  I have to bite the bullet and realize I'm playing the long game.

 

Not long ago, I wasn't recording video (audio only) and my wife deliberately tried to provoke me into hitting her.  Fortunately for me, MIL WAS recording and later set the phone down within my arm's reach.  I downloaded the video, and now I have a video recording of how my wife acts when she thinks I'm not recording her.  It really takes a bite out of any allegations she can make that she is afraid of me, since she physically provoked me, and even then, I didn't respond.  Oh, and I was holding our baby at the time.

 

Given the system I'm up against, I'm feeling about as good as I can feel about my position.  I'm working hard to prepare so that when the weather gets warmer, I can take my son out and have fun with him.  MIL will be left at home pondering her decreasing options alone in her room.

Edited April 17, 2019 by Unlockable
Edited quoted post with inappropriate language