B2 Tourist Visa Extension

[geowrian 22,337]

7 minutes ago, WeGuyGal said:

In order for her to be approved for Naturalization under the 3 year rule, she has to be living in marital union with you on the date of oath. 

Marital union is required until the date of filing. Being legally married is required until the oath. USCIS recently released updated guidelines clarifying this circumstance.

[SalishSea 17,833]

OP, do you still live together?

[WeGuyGal 1,052]

Oh, and for those eligible, isn't it 3 years of marriage after becoming an LPR, not the K1 visa? 

[HappyAndIKnowIt 24]

38 minutes ago, Jorgedig said:

I'm curious as to why you think you will get the short end of the stick when it comes to custody/parenting plan.  

 

Is your wife bent on keeping you from your child?  Why would your MIL's presence in your child's life have any bearing at all on that arrangement?  In general when it comes to family court matters, if a parent is willing and able to co-parent, that is always preferable over extended family.  

 

Your research time may be better suited to looking up scholarly articles on the benefits of fathers' involvement in their children's lives, rather than focusing on the immigration stuff.

 

On a personal note, I divorced when my youngest was 4.  Both of my boys are now extremely successful, well adjusted, kind and wonderful men.  I know that a big part of how they have fared and how they "turned out" has been because my ex and I were committed to our joint custody arrangement and to making sure that we were equal participants in their lives.  

My main (only) concern about custody is the extreme early age of my child.  She filed for divorce when he was only 3 months old.

 

I had to get an Emergency Temporary Custody order to prevent a plan to take my baby to Ukraine.  At the time, I didn't know how they intended to do it, but my wife now claims she would never take him to Ukraine without my permission.  This leads me to believe that MIL and my wife planned to try to convince me that I could not take care of my son and I should consent to let MIL take him to Ukraine.  At the time of the ETC, it was very hectic, I felt like I was 5 steps behind and I didn't know how they planned to get him to Ukraine.  The Court has confiscated her passport until our situation is resolved.  In retrospect, I realize MIL had been preventing me from actively parenting by playing the victim to my wife.  MIL acted like she felt worthless unless she was able to take care of our baby - to feel needed.  Regretfully, I relented until I figured out the manipulation and began to assert my parental rights and began to actively care for my son while my wife was at work.  This is when her mother began 911 calls, apparently to get me arrested for something.  She called my wife at work making up stories, which would distress my wife about what happens when she is not at home.  So, after all this, my wife believes her mom and doesn't trust me alone with our child.  It's a crazy situation.

 

I don't trust her at her word because she repeatedly has said whatever is necessary to get what she wants, including accusations to police mentioned earlier.

 

She is unwilling to co-parent with me on even the most basic of things.  She will only share parenting with her mother, which is obviously not an option.

[geowrian 22,337]

2 minutes ago, WeGuyGal said:

Oh, and for those eligible, isn't it 3 years of marriage after becoming an LPR, not the K1 visa? 

Correct. Three years of both being an LPR and being married to a USC.

[SalishSea 17,833]

1 minute ago, HappyAndIKnowIt said:

My main (only) concern about custody is the extreme early age of my child.  She filed for divorce when he was only 3 months old.

 

I had to get an Emergency Temporary Custody order to prevent a plan to take my baby to Ukraine.  At the time, I didn't know how they intended to do it, but my wife now claims she would never take him to Ukraine without my permission.  This leads me to believe that MIL and my wife planned to try to convince me that I could not take care of my son and I should consent to let MIL take him to Ukraine.  At the time of the ETC, it was very hectic, I felt like I was 5 steps behind and I didn't know how they planned to get him to Ukraine.  The Court has confiscated her passport until our situation is resolved.  In retrospect, I realize MIL had been preventing me from actively parenting by playing the victim to my wife.  MIL acted like she felt worthless unless she was able to take care of our baby - to feel needed.  Regretfully, I relented until I figured out the manipulation and began to assert my parental rights and began to actively care for my son while my wife was at work.  This is when her mother began 911 calls, apparently to get me arrested for something.  She called my wife at work making up stories, which would distress my wife about what happens when she is not at home.  So, after all this, my wife believes her mom and doesn't trust me alone with our child.  It's a crazy situation.

 

I don't trust her at her word because she repeatedly has said whatever is necessary to get what she wants, including accusations to police mentioned earlier.

 

She is unwilling to co-parent with me on even the most basic of things.  She will only share parenting with her mother, which is obviously not an option.

She may be unwilling to co-parent, but the court will require it.  Your MIL really has no legal right to the baby.  

 

I really hope you have a good divorce lawyer.  I would focus on creating a fair and equitable parenting plan, and ignore the immigration aspect, the MIL's feelings, etc.  

[HappyAndIKnowIt 24]

7 minutes ago, Jorgedig said:

OP, do you still live together?

As of today, yes.

 

So, if we are divorced before the takes the Oath, she does not qualify under the 3 year rule ?

 

Isn't it about a year or more from filing for Naturalization before she would take the Oath ?  I don't think she would take the Oath before the divorce in that case.

[geowrian 22,337]

1 minute ago, HappyAndIKnowIt said:

As of today, yes.

 

So, if we are divorced before the takes the Oath, she does not qualify under the 3 year rule ?

 

Isn't it about a year or more from filing for Naturalization before she would take the Oath ?  I don't think she would take the Oath before the divorce in that case.

Once you no longer live in marital union, she cannot file under the 3 year rule. Living separately would effectively break marital union, as would filing for divorce.

If you complete the divorce before she naturalizes, that also makes her ineligible even if she already filed. She would then have to wait for the 5 year rule.

Note that the 3 years starts from when she got her first green card (when AOS was approved), not when she came on the K-1 visa/married/filed for AOS.

 

Just as a side note, once she becomes a US citizen, your I-864 obligations to her & the government go away. So it's also in your benefit for her to do so...I'm just saying try not to cut your nose to spite your face either.

[HappyAndIKnowIt 24]

6 minutes ago, Jorgedig said:

She may be unwilling to co-parent, but the court will require it.  Your MIL really has no legal right to the baby.  

 

I really hope you have a good divorce lawyer.  I would focus on creating a fair and equitable parenting plan, and ignore the immigration aspect, the MIL's feelings, etc.  

MIL's feelings went out the window when the divorce papers were filed.

 

Btw, I forgot to mention it in my previous post, but I appreciate the insight on your kids' development.  I'm pretty sure my wife doesn't realize the effect of divorce on children in the U.S.  Culturally, in Ukraine, it's quite common for the men to somewhat disappear and this is my wife's apparent frame of reference.  I am not a father who will disappear.  Ever.  Her attorney fees will be a constant reminder of that fact.

[HappyAndIKnowIt 24]

1 minute ago, geowrian said:

Once you no longer live in marital union, she cannot file under the 3 year rule. Living separately would effectively break marital union, as would filing for divorce.

If you complete the divorce before she naturalizes, that also makes her ineligible even if she already filed. She would then have to wait for the 5 year rule.

Note that the 3 years starts from when she got her first green card (when AOS was approved), not when she came on the K-1 visa/married/filed for AOS.

 

Just as a side note, once she becomes a US citizen, your I-864 obligations to her & the government go away. So it's also in your benefit for her to do so...I'm just saying try not to cut your nose to spite your face either.

No, I agree.  I am completely in support of her citizenship as quickly as possible.  It seems she negated the 3 year rule by filing for divorce already ?

[WeGuyGal 1,052]

4 minutes ago, HappyAndIKnowIt said:

 

So, if we are divorced before the takes the Oath, she does not qualify under the 3 year rule ? Correct, if legally divorced by then

 

Isn't it about a year or more from filing for Naturalization before she would take the Oath ?  I don't think she would take the Oath before the divorce in that case. Usually anywhere from 6-12 months, depending on processing times. 

 

[geowrian 22,337]

Just now, HappyAndIKnowIt said:

No, I agree.  I am completely in support of her citizenship as quickly as possible.  It seems she negated the 3 year rule by filing for divorce already ?

If she already filed, then yeah...she's not going to be able to show marital union so it would be a waste for her to apply under the 3 year rule.

[SalishSea 17,833]

5 minutes ago, HappyAndIKnowIt said:

MIL's feelings went out the window when the divorce papers were filed.

 

Btw, I forgot to mention it in my previous post, but I appreciate the insight on your kids' development.  I'm pretty sure my wife doesn't realize the effect of divorce on children in the U.S.  Culturally, in Ukraine, it's quite common for the men to somewhat disappear and this is my wife's apparent frame of reference.  I am not a father who will disappear.  Ever.  Her attorney fees will be a constant reminder of that fact.

Hopefully she will come to realize the value of a father in a child's life.  There is plenty of literature to support that.  

[Going through 5,671]

45 minutes ago, geowrian said:

Living separately would effectively break marital union, as would filing for divorce.

Just wanted to mention this is not necessarily true in all cases.  Military couples live separately all the time, some couples temporarily live separately for financial/familial reasons.  There's no requirement by USCIS that the couple has to physically live under the same roof to be living under marital union...if two spouses still jointly contribute to bills, maintain a relationship, share expenses, house payments/what-have-you, they are not breaking marital union by living in two separate residences.

 

I realize that this is not the OP's case as it seems divorce proceedings are underway, but just wanted to further clarify the bolded part. 

 

Finalized divorce before adjudication/oath would make her ineligible for the 3-year rule, yes.

Edited April 16, 2019 by Going through

[SusieQQQ 11,586]

OP, I have no words of wisdom, but possibly contrary to some others here I wanted to say well done for being fair minded and level headed and still looking out for the best for your child despite a wife who seems to have used you and has behaved less than fairly by your account. Wanting her to be able to naturalize as soon as possible despite all that certainly shows no vindictiveness. I hope nevertheless that you have a good lawyer. Good luck with all of this, it's clear you want what's best for the kid and being a present father is part of that.