Coping through IR-1 when we have a child together

[George & Roth 1,485]

8 hours ago, CaroY said:

Just wanting to vent/looking for advice.  We applied for IR-1 from Turkey but our son and I will have to leave ahead so he can start the school year in the US.  I’m just feeling very frustrated that there’s no priority for IR-1 over CR-1, particularly when there is a child who will be separated from a parent  Of course we will FaceTime/WhatsApp, but I’m worried my husband could be denied entry to visit, and it will be hard for us to visit, considering it is such a long trip and during the school year.  

I know that there are criteria to expedite at the NVC stage, and one is that the beneficiary’s child has started or will soon start school, but I assume that doesn’t apply if the child is also the petitioner’s.  

I’ve lived abroad with my spouse for 8 years, we share a child, and obviously our marriage is genuine.  No offense to those who apply for CR-1 shortly after marriage, but it just seems unfair that longer marriage aren’t more quickly processed, particularly when we will be separated for who knows how long with the current backlog.  

Hi @CaroY , sorry that your thread has delved into what it has become based on your OP. Replies around here tend to be pretty snarky but also helpful and to the point. 

 

I will commiserate with you as I struggled mightily through the waiting for my wife to get her visa (K-1) processed as we have a son together and I also planned to stay in Cambodia long-term which changed rather abruptly. I always did the Facebook video calls but it is never enough, and it is not only the missing my son and fiance but also worrying that I am so far away if they need my help or what if something bad happens. 

 

I will not debate about if it is fair or not to have visa with young kids process faster, but I will say I wish that was the case very much. I wrote to the president & white house even, I received a return call from the USCIS based off of my letter to the white house. Even though I may have gotten a person more senior to call me I still needed to wait for the visa. I called USCIS a number of times, I even cried once and the nice person on phone had their voice cracking a bit like they would cry with me. I also made an infopass appointment in NYC. 

 

To add to my distress, my son had a leg injury and couldn't walk. Went to the doctor who gave diagnosis of "I can't see anything wrong." My son did not walk for over 6 weeks! And I was so far away i was losing my mind! I flew back to Cambodia and flew my son to see a specialist in Thailand, confirmed it was just a bad strain and also was able to see my son and my fiance. 

 

My only suggestion is for the US individual to fly to visit if financially possible, but if not just keep up with the calls as you said. 

Edited April 14, 2019 by George & Roth

[Jeanne Adil 1,651]

28 minutes ago, Cathi said:

Just because you have children doesn't make your marriage more bonafide or special than others. 

If having a child made it faster for a petition all the K1's would do it this way

[Roel 7,193]

I'd personally sue USCIS if they would start treating couples with kids as more "legit" and putting then in front of the que, in front of other people. It would be incredibly UNFAIR. Also crying about it to the USCIS and White House? Lol what? 

 

Sorry but the kids aren't miracles and no one else beside you care about them nor is willing to treat you better because of it. 

 

Incoming this thread being closed. 

[Going through 5,671]

self-deleted

Edited April 14, 2019 by Going through

[Boiler 46,107]

I was watching a piece on Lori Loughlin and for some reason her attitude and this this thread blend together.

[Roel 7,193]

2 minutes ago, Going through said:

@Roel trying to send a message, says you're not receiving...

Oof should work now. I didnt realize my inbox was full. 😛

[CaroY 85]

Lol. Can I request it to be closed, as only a handful seem to understand that I was asking *how others with kids have coped through IR-1* 

 

 

[Mrsamoah2019 593]

Girl bye...gotta wait like everyone else  *eyeroll*

[JFH 12,191]

And if priority were given to those with children (let us just suppose for a fanciful minute that USCIS were to implement such a discriminatory policy and for it to be legal), I think it would slow the whole process down. Not saying that anyone here would do it but it would result in hundreds of forged or amended birth certificates claiming parentage of a child together. It’s not far-fetched to think that would actually happen. We already know that there are married people doing K-1s hoping that the CO doesn’t look at their wedding pictures on Facebook, people divorcing one spouse to marry a USC to divorce him and re-marry the original spouse once the coveted GC or citizenship has been received, people already claiming that random children are theirs to gain immigration benefit for said child. So this would add yet another level of document scrutiny and DNA testing to the process. No thank you. 

 

Unfortunately for those of us who follow the legal path, there are some people who desire life in the USA so much that they will stop at nothing, even fraud, to get it. 

[Crazy Cat 42,293]

Just now, Roel said:

Oof should work now. I didnt realize my inbox was full. 😛

It's been full for weeks.......

[George & Roth 1,485]

 

Just now, CaroY said:

Lol. Can I request it to be closed, as only a handful seem to understand that I was asking *how others with kids have coped through IR-1* 

 

 

Yes, do not reply further. I sent you a PM though. 

 

Cheers

[Going through 5,671]

2 minutes ago, CaroY said:

Lol. Can I request it to be closed, as only a handful seem to understand that I was asking *how others with kids have coped through IR-1* 

 

 

Report your thread and send a message to the Mod requesting it to be closed.

[Roel 7,193]

2 minutes ago, missileman said:

It's been full for weeks.......

Sorry, I didnt even know it can get full and wont accept new messages haha. 

[Jeanne Adil 1,651]

We cope the same as a military family copes

we spend quality time with the child (ren)

We talk and write as much as possible to the spouse

We send gifts and make sure the holidays are special for the family 

We let the child(ren) know the dad or mom is special and loves them

 

and we do all immigration asks us to do to speed the process 

an example is to pay the fees at the NVC stage promtly so the process is not held up by the petitioner

there is a lot of work to be done/  do it so your family can be together

[Ketsuban 1,034]

Surely if couples with kids were prioritized then it would just become part of the fraud packet. Innocent kids being forced into existence to facilitate the parents' American dream then dumped at an orphanage/sold to traffickers.