Very VERY bad K1 situation

[Pengunista 221]

39 minutes ago, Ola&Adunni said:

It's is sad ...I think the awareness should be raised on every immigration platform for the gullible to see. YOU dropped some pointers ..I mean no matter the circumstance surrounding long distance relationship ..I believe reality can be put to check..If you truly are in love and want to spend the rest of your life with someone ..there are signs and actions one would take .. 

**My own 1st Pointer is SOCIAL MEDIA..if your fiance/Fiancee wouldn't post updates of your relationship for the world to see ..then that's one huge red flag.

**When you visit your supposed Fiance/Fiance ..no passwords on phones ..No strange calls ..I mean your beneficiary should be excited to introduce you to everyone .There should be no excuses for privacy in your relationship ...I think your visit should be an exciting moment. 

 

**You should visit his church ..visit existing structure of his/her life ..not some new structure they creating...Ask questions...don't be blinded .

 

**Another big pointer = what's the financial state of your beneficiary ..The beneficiary has live all his/her life ...doing what? What has been his/her personal growth ? DOES he/her have a (TIE )to his/her country? If not you probably a GET AWAY.

**You should both push for the growth of the relationship...I rest my case.

 

Let all love be true love and nothing but a genuine love..God bless.

I agree with most of your pointers, except the social media part, I mean to some extent.  Example myself, I have social media account I have friends from back in the day there and family. When my husband and I started dating, I didn’t post pics of us or changed my status to in a relationship, it’s not to say that I’m hiding my relationship, I’m just not the type who puts out everything that’s happening to me, everyone close to me and who’s opinion matters, knows everything, like my parents, my sister and really close friends.  So everyone got surprised when all of a sudden I just decided to add my new last name when I got married. To me and no disrespect to other people, posting stuff on social media doesn’t make your relationship any real. 

 

 

[Hobidyali 267]

22 minutes ago, Pengunista said:

I agree with most of your pointers, except the social media part, I mean to some extent.  Example myself, I have social media account I have friends from back in the day there and family. When my husband and I started dating, I didn’t post pics of us or changed my status to in a relationship, it’s not to say that I’m hiding my relationship, I’m just not the type who puts out everything that’s happening to me, everyone close to me and who’s opinion matters, knows everything, like my parents, my sister and really close friends.  So everyone got surprised when all of a sudden I just decided to add my new last name when I got married. To me and no disrespect to other people, posting stuff on social media doesn’t make your relationship any real. 

 

 

Youre right , the issue is when this is coupled with other red flags that it becomes of concern.

[Pengunista 221]

1 minute ago, Hobidyali said:

Youre right , the issue is when this is coupled with other red flags that it becomes of concern.

I agree, that’s why I said to some extent. But you know how some people makes a big deal with regards to their partner not updating what his or her status is, single or not.  It’s good to have some check list but we all know once the heart beats, people try to ignore the red flags or settle.  I have a friend who has a good job and instead of enjoying life and the money she earns and go travel and all, is hell bent on finding a partner in life. Of wanting everything, have a husband and a kid. That I worry that the minute some guy gives her attention that she would just fall because she is determined to have a family. 

[Hobidyali 267]

1 minute ago, Pengunista said:

I agree, that’s why I said to some extent. But you know how some people makes a big deal with regards to their partner not updating what his or her status is, single or not.  It’s good to have some check list but we all know once the heart beats, people try to ignore the red flags or settle.  I have a friend who has a good job and instead of enjoying life and the money she earns and go travel and all, is hell bent on finding a partner in life. Of wanting everything, have a husband and a kid. That I worry that the minute some guy gives her attention that she would just fall because she is determined to have a family. 

We arw all seeking love, and eveeyone is entitled to it, the issue becomes when people feed off of that need and they become a target.

[Pengunista 221]

4 minutes ago, Hobidyali said:

We arw all seeking love, and eveeyone is entitled to it, the issue becomes when people feed off of that need and they become a target.

Exactly!! 

[Ola&Adunni 51]

3 hours ago, SJordanS said:

Thank you for mentioning this. This is exactly my fear and frustration. My fiance is also in Jordan and we havent received NOA2. What kind of scrutiny will we face because of this piece of #######?! Very unfair. 

Hopefully, he won't be scrutinized. Remind him to be confident in answering questions.. Best wishes!

Edited April 12, 2019 by Ola&Adunni

[SJordanS 343]

19 minutes ago, Ola&Adunni said:

Hopefully, he won't be scrutinized. Remind him to be confident in answering questions.. Best wishes!

 Yes he is very confident. But he doesn’t like the fact that there is one more “marking” on the country and I don’t blame him  

[USS_Voyager 1,972]

Can’t wait to hear how it goes with the “fiance” tonight

[TBoneTX 45,330]

5 hours ago, Pengunista said:

I worry that the minute some guy gives her attention that she would just fall because she is determined to have a family. 

"Marry in haste, repent in leisure."

[SJordanS 343]

VJ Fam,

 

I never imagined when I made the original post what a profound affect this particular situation would have on me as well as others here on the site. This has been so emotional. So mad!! Not only because Sarah is a friend, but because it could have been me. I know the Visa Journey site is intended to help petitioners and beneficiaries with topics pertaining to various Visas, but I think its important to remember that we, the VJ community, are also human beings. 

 

Each and every single one of us on this site, past or present, man or woman, regardless of the type of Visa relates to you, has felt some sort of emotion at some point in time during your visa process. Whether its petitioning for your fiance's or spouses, parents, or children, a job, finally getting naturalized, etc., regardless, there was a deep emotion attached to it.  As emotional as this process is, I cant imagine it all coming to a crash and feeling in some ways, victimized.

 

Here is the update...Im calling it The showdown!!! I waited all day for this!!! And yes in case any of you are wondering,  yes I was rubbing my palms together when the phone was ringing!!! Sarah waited until an hour ago to call her exfiance. I sat right next to her and gave her my 100% support. Being that its Friday morning in Jordan and her exfiance is off, it was the right time. She decided to call him direct and not call video chat only because she looked a bit sad and emotional and didnt want him to see that. She wanted him on speaker so I can hear as well. He answered and sounded very happy and also concerned because she told him she has been sick so he wanted to know how she was feeling and he was very worried. She was honest and said she felt like ####### and didnt feel good at all. He asked why and what exactly she was sick with and kept saying he was worried maybe she had a flu. She told him she was sick from him. He didnt understand what she meant I guess and told her to go see a doctor or go to the ER because again, hes so worried!  She said she needs to talk to him about something important and he told her and he was making coffee and she said hurry up and pour your cup and get to a quiet place I need you to be able to hear me clear. Then finally told him your girlfriend called me on facebook. He said who (very casually)? she told him she called, never saying it could be accidental. She said she called her but she didnt answer. That she saw her facebook page and wanted him to explain what she saw, she listed all of it. He was on the verge of denying it when she said more firmly what she knows alot. She asked him to be honest, not to lie, lying would make it worse and to think carefully before answering. Then I heard him talk nervously and say it was a girl he knew but was not interested in. Sarah told him one last chance to tell the truth otherwise she hangs up. She gave him few more facts and asked him to say true or false. Surprisingly he did not deny most of it. I can hear him light up a cigarette and take long drags (guess I would too) and eventually said yes its true he did have a relationship with her but it was many years ago. He was sorry he never mentioned it. Things ended with her years ago and then met Sarah. As far as those same romantic posts, he said she may have had them from me when I sent them years ago. She must have saved them. Sarah asked why would he send her the same exact posts he once sent to a previous woman?  He apologized. He was pretty quiet didnt know what to say I guess at that point and listening to see if she had more. She continued. He got aggatated and said someone was jealous of them and giving them the evil eye (ahhhh a classic!!). There are some other things that she knows that was not shared here on VJ that confirmed their ongoing relationship and plans. She chose not to share all of it with him and said she was aware of his plan. He denied having such plans but adjusted his previous explanation and said his parents did put pressure on him to marry her but infact he had lost interest when he met Sarah (his story kept getting worse!). He did say something that I agree with...the only thing I agreed on. That in fact the call made to Sarah was not an accident. It was done deliberately to trigger her to "find her out", maybe throw a wrench in their plans. He kept saying he was sorry he never talked about her but that she was ex. Kept referring to her as that, his ex. Sarah didnt want to continue talking because he continually changed his story and timelines. She mentioned she knew more. She told him she didnt want to hear from him again. She wants to forget about him completely. He is no longer engaged to her. He is no longer coming to USA he is no longer a part of her life. He asked  if he can have her talk to his mom. She refused. He asked again and seemed he was walking around to locate her in the home. Sarah said I will not talk to anyone. You will talk to her and tell her why you no longer engaged. She finished the call by telling him the final details that confirmed his fraud and he was quiet or taken back then wanted to deny it some more. Sarah said we are done and that he wouldnt hear from her again. She asked him to apologize. He did immediately and started to sound like he was panicked. He said to hang on a bit longer, and to let his mom have a talk with her.  She said she was done talking and that he needs to find God, etc. Before he can call back she blocked his number and everything else. She is doing good. She was strong. No tears. She was angry a bit after but said she agreed with me that God loved her and had her back on this. She did great. (I was kind of wishing she cussed him out a little...but thats just my fighter pilot kicking in!) I hope she will STAY strong. Next week when  she gets updated from the Embassy I will update you all here so we all know the process in the cancellation, what it entails, etc.  

[Going through 5,671]

 

31 minutes ago, SJordanS said:

He asked  if he can have her talk to his mom. She refused. He asked again and seemed he was walking around to locate her in the home. Sarah said I will not talk to anyone.

Good that she didn't.  He probably figured the mother would be able to pressure Sarah in some way to see it from a different point of view/give him another chance.

 

28 minutes ago, SJordanS said:

Then finally told him your girlfriend called me on facebook. He said who (very casually)?

This part stuck out to me right away.  

 

Most men (who are innocent of any wrongdoing) likely would have immediately responded with something like "What are you talking about?!  What girlfriend???"  Instead of asking for clarification on which one.

[Falcon Cara 378]

Interesting story, thanks for sharing and updating

[carmel34 3,636]

WOW!  Thanks for the update, many of us were on edge wondering how this would go down.  You are amazing for supporting her through this--good for you for being with her for that horrible phone call.  I can only imagine the emotional pain she is going through.  It went pretty much how I thought it would with his denials and all.  So sad but very happy she will be free of this fraudster and manipulator.  All the best to both of you!

[Hobidyali 267]

This just goes to show how even if there are no significant age gaps and/or the pair is attractive that these things happen, makes this story quite the eye opener, I feel terrible for her.NO WOMAN deserves this, and I know tht I came off the wrong way but there is no crime in falling in love as we all deserve, the crime to oneself happens when we subject ourselves and our heart to a person knowing that things are ringing in the head and are being ignored.

[C-ma'am 684]

4 hours ago, SJordanS said:

 He asked  if he can have her talk to his mom. She refused. He asked again and seemed he was walking around to locate her in the home. Sarah said I will not talk to anyone. 

1

Without the immigration condiment on Sarah's story, I had this exact scenario with an ex who had been cheating for a long time and had a relationship with the other woman.  This happened over 20 years ago but I still remember when he had his mother call me. It's a manipulative tactic. 

 

Give Sarah big hugs. I remember how it all feels and it's just a devastating situation because you are a victim but because you also have to own up to all the things we chose to ignore and continued to push through. Nothing wrong with any of this. We are human, we make mistakes and we want to be loved. Imagine that, huh?