A Broken Journey

[a1angied 0]

I am very pleased to see your spirit isn't broken and that you are able to speak of what has happend to you. It is the first step to healing. You are going to experience so many different emotions please allow yourself to feel them and move through them. Healing is a feeling process and it does take time, I wish this healing Journey you are now on will be a fest one. You have a support systmen here in place and many who honestly care about you as a person. We are here to help others as we become friends.

“Now the great thing is this: we are consecrated and dedicated to God in order that we may thereafter think, speak, meditate, and do, nothing except to his glory. For a sacred thing may not be applied to profane uses without marked injury to him.”

—John Calvin

I have been in a abusive marriage and abusive relationships, for me using the 12 steps or Recovery is what help me, not sure if it will help you or if your willing to try it. If you would like information please let me know I will give you or anyone else the information. See the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous can be used for many different things not just alcohol. It can be used for people, places, things, situations and activities.

The main thing to remeber is you don't have to do this alone!

May God be present in all of your thoughts and decisions.

[sereia 0]

I'm so sorry to hear this. I also think you did the right thing! I know you feel guilty for putting someone you loved in jail, but what about what he's done to you? Its time to think about yourself. Protect yourself. And NEVER take abuse from anyone. Hchouma on him...

We're all here for you!

[doodlebug 3]

Jean one more thing....I would look for a battered or abused wives group in your area. Being in a group setting with others who understand what you are going through can be very therapeutic and they can be your "real life" support system. It will also help you heal since they will tell you the stages that you will go through and what to expect.

[thkcmp 0]

I read your story shortly after you posted it and two more times since then. I've thought about you all day and what you are going through. I've never been in your situation before so I can only vaguely imagine what you must be going through. Since I've never experienced anything like what you are going through, I won't give you any advice.....you asked for none anyway.

I do want to say this though.....I admire and respect your courage. You are an example and inspiration to all who have been where you are and also those of us who have not. You will be in my thoughts and my prayers as you face so many difficult decisions and whatever your decisions are, whether I agree or disagree, they are your decisions and I stand behind you 100%.

May God Bless You.

Connie

[noura 0]

I do want to say this though.....I admire and respect your courage. You are an example and inspiration to all who have been where you are and also those of us who have not. You will be in my thoughts and my prayers as you face so many difficult decisions and whatever your decisions are, whether I agree or disagree, they are your decisions and I stand behind you 100%.

May God Bless You.

Connie

I've read this over and over, and I just have to add that *I **do not** support any decision that involves you going back to him or bailing his azz out of jail. Sorry, just had to say it - and you know I love you Jean.

[chasnik 0]

I have been in an abusive relationship..and it is really a good thing that you cant get him out. If you had the means you probably would..I did and it doesnt change, your just walking on eggshells waiting on the next time. Just posting this here shows what strength you have..you will need that , the bruises fade...inside takes longer. But it can be done, you have my support and my prayers..stay strong and know that you did the right thing.

[thkcmp 0]

Jean....I'm saying that I may not support or agree with your decision, but I'll not criticize you no matter what your decision is. I don't believe that's what you want or need right now. I believe in standing behind a friend in time of trouble. I nor anyone else can make any decisions for you. We can just pray that God will lead you to the right decision.

Connie

[MHandMB 0]

Jean, I am so sorry you are going through this. I'm very shocked and saddened for you. I know you're going through a whirlwind right now, but please, don't feel guilty for calling the police. He did this to himself the second he hit you. You need to protect yourself and your children. Moh has made his bed. Let him face the consequences. There is never an excuse to resort to violence, especially not against someone you've pledged your life to support, honor, and protect.

Good luck, and we are all here rooting for you.

[mamamia 0]

I'm sorry to hear about you gettign hurt...But you've found your solution: the police. Give yourself a little more time, cry your heart out. Then get up and restart your life! Next time, learn to love yourself than you do other. Close your door forever for "da...ba..rd"

[Together4ever 1]

Thank you for your words. You can never know how much it means. I have never faced anything like this in my life. I'm numb. I can make no one any promises about anything, not my family, not my friends because nothing makes any sense to me now so I can't even promise myself. One thing I do know, and I can say this with 100% honesty, no one can know the sh*t storm of this until they experience it for themselves. Its so very easy to say dump the b*stard or forget him. He is still, unfortunately, my husband and I still carry his name. There is much more to work through here then just the simple facts. Connie, you have said exactly what I needed to hear. I need to do what is best and God only knows what that is right now for me. My first goal is getting out of bed in the morning, the next step is putting one foot in front of the other with as much intelligence as I can muster, but the pain is always there. I love my husband and I also hate the life I was living with him recently, so there you go. I ask God why he brought all this to me and I pray for the strength to sort it all out. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I just simply don't know anything at all except that this really hurts. I thank you again for allowing me to vent, I thank you for your words, and I pray if anyone else out there is going through this, you step up and do something about it. Hiding bruises is the demeaning part. Lying to your family, friends and coworkers is the demeaning part. Standing up for yourself is NOT the demeaning part. Neither is bearing the bruises in the first place. I know my husband has something in him that goes black and snaps when he gets angry. I know I am the only target for his frustrations. That does NOT make him evil nor does it make any of this my fault. It's just a very unforunate mix of circumstances and that does not make any of it RIGHT. I just know I do not want to live like THIS. God bless you all.

[Becky&Sam 0]

My prayers are going up for you in your situation right now, that He will give you the courage and the wisdom to make the right decisions for every day. Every day will bring a new set of circumstances and hurdles to face and I pray that you will have the fortitude and strength to face every coming day through this painful and difficult time. I have walked in your shoes and know it can be done, although not without much suffering.

I am so glad that you took the courage to share this story here with us and you are in all my prayers for protection and strength and guidance.

Becky

[AInfante-Saraireh 0]

AMEN! There is only one thing here, we soften as we look back at the love. The only problem, once they hit, they keep hitting, I can tell you this from personal experience. You can do the world for them, but the inside anger is in them from God knows when. The only thing that will help them is therapy and it takes a verrrrrrrrrrrry long time. Even then, the one time position you once knew, is and will not be the same. Now if you can convince him to get help, not from you, but from a professional, maybe there is a chance. I hate to sound blunt, but I can't help reading what you wrote and seeing the forgiveness in your words. It's okay to forgive, but the forgiveness that you give immediately will not be the true forgiveness for it will take you a very long time to get this out of your system. Your life is your choice, but to walk on eggshells, to duck because you are afraid he will explode and hit you again, is a life of hell! Been there! The more you take, the more you will need to release and one never knows when we've released for good. Once you hit the plateau where you feel free and secure again, you will forgive him, even if it is silently said. Until you retrieve your soul back to you, the decisions are iffy! Good luck! Really, I am praying for the two of you. What you went through to get him here, the times you spend with him in Egypt, it's very hard right now for you. You will think of this and the good times over and over to wash the negative he's done to you. To me, a man is not a man if he uses his fist, but a raging tyrant. IF it helps any, think of other countries who have taken beatings and rapes under tyrant forces. Not to sound extreme, but a beating is a beating, even if it's a slap across the face.

[Visa4habibi! 0]

Jean, I was just reading all of this. I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through!

I've spent so many years with my ex who'd snap out of nowhere, just once in a while... He could be soooooooooooo sweet... if he wanted to. But as time went by he wanted to be sweet less and less! I had to suffer so much and I was here all by myself, nobody else to turn to - no family or anyone.... It wasn't very often but...

When I finally left him only one of my kids followed me due to the brainwashing from the now officially 'evil' ex. Well, not even 'evil' - he's just a little off mentally. Not enough for a hospital, but enough to make people believe that they're crazy, not him.

I know you put so much into getting your Moh over here! I know (or can imagine pretty well) what you're thinking about now. I know that what girls wrote here is TRUE and their advice is basically the same. I have to agree with it as much as it hurts me to say this!

May God give you strength, wisdom, health and whatever else you need to put this all behind you! Please stay safe and PM me if you need anything! Hope I can help you somehow!

(((hugs)))

T

Edited May 28, 2007 by Visa4habibi!

[Together4ever 1]

Please don't misunderstand understanding for forgiveness. I am ANGRY as hell and will have a very hard time forgiving a lot that has transpired. Understanding the why's does not make them "ok". It just is what it is. Yes, he'll do it again. I am not the type to cry "but I love him" and take him back. If I ever see him again it will be for my own closure and not to believe for a moment anything can ever be the same. I am just being honest when I say that not a whole lot makes sense to me right now. Therefore I am having a hard time knowing exactly what it is I need to do.

My prayer for HIM is that he gets help. He cried and told me he hates the way he is. That pain too is real. But he has to WANT help. There is absolutely nothing I can do for him. As he says, it is his "sick".

[Meriem_DZ 37]

Jean, I am so sorry this has happened to you. I cant even imagine what you have been through. I cried when I read your story and I knew how hard it was for you to write it. I agree, Mo needs help and I hope he can get it. I am praying for you. And Mo. Take care

Meriem.