How to End relationship

[Sellamalola 222]

1 minute ago, DiamondEyes490 said:

They can't any more. That was the whole wet foot/dry foot thing that Obama got rid of a few days before he left office. Now, they are treated like anybody else.

Ooooooh wow...I didn’t know that it actually took effect 🤔 thanks for clarifying 👌🏽

[spring333 44]

Im sorry but why would you contact USCIS? Let him live his life. Marriage didnt work, thats life. He was  your love. let him go tru process by himself. why would you destroy all his chances to live in usa?

 

[Georgia16 2,858]

3 minutes ago, spring333 said:

Im sorry but why would you contact USCIS? Let him live his life. Marriage didnt work, thats life. He was  your love. let him go tru process by himself. why would you destroy all his chances to live in usa?

 

Because she does not want to be on the hook for I-864

[SJordanS 343]

4 minutes ago, spring333 said:

Im sorry but why would you contact USCIS? Let him live his life. Marriage didnt work, thats life. He was  your love. let him go tru process by himself. why would you destroy all his chances to live in usa?

 

Wow!  Why hand out green cards? She pretty much said since she got married it’s been a living nightmare. That alone speaks about his intentions. Why should he have advantage and benefit from her if she’s not making her happy ??!!  

[Crazy Cat 41,904]

8 minutes ago, spring333 said:

Im sorry but why would you contact USCIS? Let him live his life. Marriage didnt work, thats life. He was  your love. let him go tru process by himself. why would you destroy all his chances to live in usa?

 

To remove financial responsibility for him.....Would you want to be on the hook for someone you thought used you? 

[RLA 323]

5 minutes ago, SJordanS said:

She pretty much said since she got married it’s been a living nightmare. That alone speaks about his intentions. 

It could just as well mean that she sucks at being married, and that any misbehavior from his side is caused by his being stuck between a rock (unhappy marriage) and a hard place (homelessnes, deportation). 

 

Whatever the reasons for her marriage problem, she'll want to withdraw her I-864 and get a lawyer to sort out the shared living situation. 

[SJordanS 343]

34 minutes ago, missileman said:

To remove financial responsibility for him.....Would you want to be on the hook for someone you thought used you? 

@missileman exactly!  Probably wouldn’t mind being used as long as she gave them their freedom 😂 

[SJordanS 343]

17 minutes ago, RLA said:

It could just as well mean that she sucks at being married, and that any misbehavior from his side is caused by his being stuck between a rock (unhappy marriage) and a hard place (homelessnes, deportation). 

 

Whatever the reasons for her marriage problem, she'll want to withdraw her I-864 and get a lawyer to sort out the shared living situation. 

 We don’t know the reason but you’re already assuming why that happened.  I’m sure it’s a lot more and she doesn’t have to share the reason but when you’re done you’re done.  She wants out and that was great advice you’re on what she should do. 

[RLA 323]

7 minutes ago, SJordanS said:

We don’t know the reason but you’re already assuming why that happened.

I'm not assuming anything, unlike some people who seem to be so sure that OP's husband is a fraud.  I'm just offering an alternative explanation.  One that's not so implausible.  Again and again we have stories here on VJ of people who seem very naïve in their approach to marriage, don't take the time and effort to get to know their future spouse, and lack the self-awareness to realize that they themselves might have caused the problems.  And that's not even including the folks with this appalling online-shopping attitude ("I'm not happy with my foreign wife.  How can I send her back?") 

[Villanelle 4,122]

Whenever something is posted on the internet there are always going to be unsolicited comments and advice. Let's try to stay on topic though.

 

The OP has every right to a divorce if she no longer wants to be married. She needs to follow the divorce laws in her state. If there is a waiting period then there is a waiting period. A divorce attorney can advise her on how to proceed with the divorce and if there is any way to get him to move if he won't leave voluntarily.

 

Re immigration- she needs to pull her 864. She needs to send a letter to the service center that they filled with and advise them the marriage is over and divorce is being filed and she wants to withdraw her 864. Do not say things like withdrawing the 485 or aos because the 485 and aos packet is not hers. She can only withdraw the 864.

 

A letter can also be mailed or hand delivered to the local office through infopass.

The OP needs to be aware pulling the 864 means he has no way to get a GC and that many people in that situation often are desperate and will file false claims of abuse in order to get a GC through VAWA. 

 

Generally the advice is to never be alone with the immigrant to prevent this. If he won't leave the house she may want to. She should talk to her divorce attorney to see how that may effect the divorce or what other options she has to get him to leave.

 

OP if you need help making a letter to withdraw the 864 post back. It's just a very basic letter so you shoulnt have much trouble putting it together.

[Going through 5,671]

OP hasn't really returned to this thread in a while to clarify the "living nightmare" part (if it's constant arguments or some level of abusive relationship), but I also am beginning to wonder if part of the issue is he's having trouble adjusting to being in the US since marriage took place only this past November? (if nightmare = just always arguing/emotional distance)

 

10 hours ago, Luisa_eris said:

I’ve asked him plenty of times to move out but he refuses to because he doesn’t have anyone in PA and wants to go forward with immigration process.

Did he actually say something to that effect (which would indicate his main worry is keeping his status), or he said/meant he wants to continue with the marriage? 

 

Just giving some benefit of the doubt...plenty of times on VJ we've seen cases (or been through it ourselves on either side of the coin) where marriages start to break down shortly or go through a rough patch  after the foreigner arrives while they have trouble adjusting to a new marriage, new lifestyle, new surroundings, no work, no friends/family around, etc.  The first year can be very hard----add on the stress that the spouse wants them to leave the home it can become completely overwhelming/frightening for the beneficiary. 

 

Imagine the worry of being in a country where you don't know anyone/unfamiliar about what resources may be available to you if you get thrown out and then you're literally on your own--with no income of your own--after a spouse forces you to leave the marital home?

 

All the above being said...if it's an abusive situation, or you feel you were scammed somehow, no one should tolerate that of course.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Ahmed&Freda 628]

10 hours ago, Luisa_eris said:

Hello everyone! This is a very uncomfortable topic but I have exhausted all resources and asked many people and I still do not have a definite answer. So I am the US Citizen, my husband is the beneficiary. (Cuban). We married in November 2018 and filed AOS right away. At this point, our marriage is a living nightmare. I’ve asked him plenty of times to move out but he refuses to because he doesn’t have anyone in PA and wants to go forward with immigration process. I do not. I’ve asked lawyers that have told me I would have to wait a year of being married before I file for divorce since it will be considered contested. This is fine; but what do I do in the mean time? How do I get him to leave? Should I contact USCIS and let them know of the situation? He just received his employment authorization card. If you’re familiar with PA laws please advise. 

In PA you cant make him move unless he has abused you.    If he even pushes you, you can call the cops and start from there but without that he can stay until the divorce is final.   You can't evict in the commonwealth your spouse.   Once he is served the notice of divorce if he does not want to sign anything you'll  get your divorce after two years  there are a lot of technicalities in between I'm forgetting I'm sure but if he signs the divorce notice and sends it back then you work on the agreement (I did mine through an awesome attorney in West Chester).  Once the agreement is signed and  issued to the court divorce will be final in 3 months.  It's a long grueling process that I care to never repeat again.

 

 

[nastra30 2,287]

4 hours ago, spring333 said:

Im sorry but why would you contact USCIS? Let him live his life. Marriage didnt work, thats life. He was  your love. let him go tru process by himself. why would you destroy all his chances to live in usa?

 

Lol. Why would someone want to foot the lifetime bill (until citizenship or death of beneficiary) of someone they don't like? Lol. The I-864 is a contract with the govt and she will be on hook for it even in divorce. Right now, this very second is the time for her to pull it by contacting USCIS.

Edited April 3, 2019 by nastra30

[Stubmeister 31]

Ahmed&freda said:

In PA you cant make him move unless he has abused you.    If he even pushes you, you can call the cops and start from there but without that he can stay until the divorce is final.   You can't evict in the commonwealth your spouse.   Once he is served the notice of divorce if he does not want to sign anything you'll  get your divorce after two years  there are a lot of technicalities in between I'm forgetting I'm sure but if he signs the divorce notice and sends it back then you work on the agreement (I did mine through an awesome attorney in West Chester).  Once the agreement is signed and  issued to the court divorce will be final in 3 months.  It's a long grueling process that I care to never repeat again.

Here here! Now, I got a divorce but both of us were USC's. There was no waiting period and nobody asked me if I wanted a divorce when I was served with the papers. A mutual uncontested 'No-Fault' divorce can take 90 days or 2 years, (like mine I was married 25 years). If it becomes contested, it goes before a 'master' appointed by the court. However, the years spent together make a big difference on what can be claimed. After 10 years, everything is in play. But prior to 10 years, it is reduced exponentially!

 

[Ontarkie 14,234]

7 hours ago, spring333 said:

Im sorry but why would you contact USCIS? Let him live his life. Marriage didnt work, thats life. He was  your love. let him go tru process by himself. why would you destroy all his chances to live in usa?

 

Not contacting USCIS and leaving things seem like they are remaining married so he can get his GC and live in the USA = Is Fraud.