When people find out you were not born here

[Cyberfx1024 7,980]

1 hour ago, robhostein said:

Every single time I talk to someone, either I recently met them or I've known them for months, the moment they find out I was born in another country, suddenly I'm a different person to them.

 

They're shocked that I don't have an accent. That I speak such good English. They start asking me questions about my country of origin. If I've ever been there since I left, what languages I speak, if I want to go back. They start talking about political and economic issues about the country as if I still live there. They start recommending me to restaurants and stores that sell food and other items from the county.

 

I mean basically, as soon as they find out you were not born here, your identity to them is no longer "Rob, the guy I met at the library," but instead becomes "Rob, the guy from Africa" or "Rob, the guy from Honduras." And so every conversation you have they have to bring up something about your country. I mean, this is all fine and good for a few hours, but when its been days, weeks...

 

I've been here since before I hit puberty. If I wanted to go to my country, I'd have done it years ago and not stayed here. If I wanted food from my country, again, I wouldn't be here.

What my wife and I have found funny is that people would ask her all the time where she was from when we were living in California because she does have a small accent. But here in NC nobody has really asked her at all except for Latinos wondering if she was Hispanic. 

[Visitor User 253]

2 hours ago, robhostein said:

Every single time I talk to someone, either I recently met them or I've known them for months, the moment they find out I was born in another country, suddenly I'm a different person to them.

 

They're shocked that I don't have an accent. That I speak such good English. They start asking me questions about my country of origin. If I've ever been there since I left, what languages I speak, if I want to go back. They start talking about political and economic issues about the country as if I still live there. They start recommending me to restaurants and stores that sell food and other items from the county.

 

I mean basically, as soon as they find out you were not born here, your identity to them is no longer "Rob, the guy I met at the library," but instead becomes "Rob, the guy from Africa" or "Rob, the guy from Honduras." And so every conversation you have they have to bring up something about your country. I mean, this is all fine and good for a few hours, but when its been days, weeks...

 

I've been here since before I hit puberty. If I wanted to go to my country, I'd have done it years ago and not stayed here. If I wanted food from my country, again, I wouldn't be here.

Same here. They think I was born here. I was a DREAMer. Lot of them brought at as early as few months old in USA. 

[usmsbow 802]

1 hour ago, Cyberfx1024 said:

What my wife and I have found funny is that people would ask her all the time where she was from when we were living in California because she does have a small accent. But here in NC nobody has really asked her at all except for Latinos wondering if she was Hispanic. 

 

The only people that ask my wife where she is from are Filipinos wondering if she is too (I assume due to her looks and accent). 

[mcdull 474]

Story of my life. 

And no matter how many times I tell people that I am from Hong Kong, they will always remember that I am from China. 

[FaithProfessoR 171]

Hahaha! It happens I’m from Puerto Rico and people refer to the island as a “country” which is not.

 

They are like: “How you did you got your visa?” How you speak English fluently? Did you got citizenship thru marriage? 🙄. Puerto Rico is like Washington DC a territory. Oh well 💆🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️😂😂

[WaterLeaf 201]

-When I mimic British accents, peoples ask me if I was from UK.

 

While I do know in my history that I have family traces back to various places including the Euro area, but I was born in the states.

[littlewingxx 29]

A couple of months after I started working here, a client I was talking to was asking me where I was from and how long I'd been here. She then proceeded to tell me how I spoke "really good English". I'm from Scotland. 

 

😁

[Roel 7,193]

It think it all depends on the community you live in. Some people are more open than others and wont label you. 

 

The funniest thing that happen to me (few times at least) is people asking me if I speak Polish just after I tell them I'm from Poland... 

 

And it's like... no my dude, I was only born and raised in Poland, came from long line of Polish peasants and lived in Poland for 26 years. But sure, I never picked up the language. 

[millefleur 5,047]

37 minutes ago, littlewingxx said:

A couple of months after I started working here, a client I was talking to was asking me where I was from and how long I'd been here. She then proceeded to tell me how I spoke "really good English". I'm from Scotland. 

 

😁

Wow, that's straight up embarrassing...lol. Keeping the old "Americans don't know geography" trope alive and well...

 

You should've replied: "So do you!"

Edited March 8, 2019 by millefleur

[Sukie 1,465]

I always answered "I was born in Germany, but I've been in <state> since I was little".  That should shut down the "tour guide" aspect of it.

 

Sukie in NY

[Dashinka 24,771]

I for one am interested in learning of other's countries.  I recently met a co-worker originally from Iran and we had a very interesting conversation although I don't remember asking him anything about tourism.  As a person though, I have experienced this first hand when I travel to different parts of the world.  I get it a lot in Russia with my extended family there, and have experienced it in the ROK as well in my many trips to that country.  All-in-all, I don't mind even when subjects turn political, but I try to keep my responses to those topics as middle of the road as possible.

[JohnE 57]

My wife is from Mexico City but has been in the US (yes legally) for over 20 years.  We sometimes get a "look" from other people but brush it off.  I guess the shocking time was in church a year ago.  A person came up to my wife and asked if she was legal!  Oh well we prayed for that lady.  

 

  On a side note is we travel to Mexico City at least twice a year to see family.  Understand that my Spanish is very bad plus I am from Georgia.  I am speaking (broken) Spanish with a southern accent so nobody in Mexico City understands me!  Yes I stick out like a sore thumb but have always been welcome with open arms and never had any issues in Mexico.  We normally travel around on the metro (train/subway) with the other 22 million people that live and work in Mexico City and again zero issues.  

 

What the world needs now is love sweet love.  

 

God bless

 

[The_Empyrean 733]

Don't get me started on this... lol
I moved to US about 6 years ago +-, and i learned English back in Lithuania from cartoons, video games etc, so English is like a second native language. People have no clue that i wasn't born in USA as i have barely noticeable accent, and that can slip thru as a different American accent (NY, vs Midwest etc)
So when they hear me talking in Lithuanian, they go like "Oh you're Russian aren't you?", "no i'm not", "but you speak Russian?" "yes i do", "so you're Russian?", "no i'm not, that was Lithuanian", "but Lithuania speaks Russian?", "NO IT'S LITHUANIAN, WE HAVE OUR OWN LANGUAGE".. then the awkward silence for a bit and they go "so you speak polish then..?", "I was a god D**n LITHUANIAN, ITS NOT POLAND, NOT RUSSIA, NOT BELARUS, NOT UKRAINE. ITS LITHUANIA!".
Then i have to explain to them that Lithuania is Russia, the same way Brazil is Mexico, or Japan and China. Urghhhh..
I have nothing against either of the countries, but knowing the history of LTU, it's kind of insulting to be called Russian or Polish. NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE.

P.S. To add, i do speak Russian, and Polish lol

Edited March 8, 2019 by PaulMac

[Cyberfx1024 7,980]

9 hours ago, usmsbow said:

 

The only people that ask my wife where she is from are Filipinos wondering if she is too (I assume due to her looks and accent). 

That's because there was so much intermarriage and traveling between the countries back in the day especially between Mindanao and Malaysia/Indonesia. I always tell people that the Philippines is kinda weird because the people from Luzon are on average lighter skinned and have more of a Chinese/Spanish influence, while the people from the South have a more Malayan look to them and are usually darker on average. So yes, you do see a good resemblance between the Malaysians/Indonesians and Filipinos. 

 

What's funny is that since the time of Magellan there has been a story of the Bisaya people coming to the Philippines: 

Historical documents written in 1907 by Visayan historian Pedro Alcántara Monteclaro in his book Maragtas tell the story of the ten leaders (Datus) who escaped from the tyranny of Rajah Makatunaw from Borneo and came to the islands of Panay. The chiefs and followers were said to be the ancestors (from the collapsing empires of Srivijaya and Majapahit) of the Visayan people. The documents were accepted by Filipino historians and found their way into the history of the Philippines. As a result, the arrival of Bornean tribal groups in the Visayas is celebrated in the festivals of the Ati-Atihan in Kalibo, Aklan and Binirayan in San Jose de Buenavista, Antique. Foreign historians such as William Henry Scott maintains that the book contains a Visayan folk tradition.

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

As an American, I'd like to take the time to apologize for any rude Americans that don't know how to act around foreign-born residents or citizens, and also state that we are not all as dumb as a lot of us seem to portray us to be.

 

I can only understand to an extent, of course, because I am from here. But I see my husband get it all the time. He's biologically Filipino, but born and raised Swede (his parents immigrated to Sweden in the 60s). So he kind of get it two fold from folks - people obviously can tell he's not from here by his accent, and when he says he's from Sweden, there's always a bit of surprise because he doesn't "look Swedish". Then if it comes up where his parents are from, he gets questions about the Philippines versus Sweden, and then Sweden versus America. He's formed a habit now, when answering the question of where he's from, to immediately just say "Sweden - I know, I know, surprising! I'm brown".   When he gets the comment of "why would you leave Sweden for this place!" (which he HATES), he just says "Why not? I love America" (with an unspoken "don't you?" cadence at the end), to which people normally seem to back off.

 

Honestly, I think it's all out of curiosity. Some people just don't think before they speak or realize how something they say comes off. I'm sure there are some people who are genuinely rude out of ignorance, but I like to believe a majority is harmless.

 

If it were me, and it's more frustrating simply because you don't recall as much from your home country because of how long you've been here, I'd just say that. Nothing wrong with it. "I'd love to be able to talk about it, but I moved here at [insert age] and honestly don't remember much about it. I consider America my home!" and maybe they will back off. Most people don't read between lines very well.