Husband and I are divorcing, worried. What's next?

[Dianalorena 1,153]

Unfortunately, my husband and I have decided to get a divorce. We fought hard to make it work and tried our best,  but we want very different things and show love in very different ways. 

He has serious panic attacks/depression and insecurities that got progressively worse and ultimately he broke my trust by going out with a girl that he met on Tinder, He came clean and we tried yet again by him moving out for a few weeks, and during that time he realized he wants to date her. I won't bore you with the details. Even if I'm hurt we want to do things as amicable as possible since we know this is ultimately for the best.  Married for over two years, but removing conditions in 2020. 

Questions are: 

 

Do I file for divorce in the U.S even though we got married in Mexico? Is it possible? 

 

Do I file to remove conditions after the divorce is final without waiting for 2020? 

 

what type of evidence should I send? We have a lease together,  e-mails back and forth discussing what happened,

I read that I need a letter explaining the reason, but I'm worried still. Is it time to hire a lawyer?

 

thank you

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[p-ana 933]

I’m sorry that happened. 

 

You can file divorce here, doesn’t matter if you got married elsewhere.

 

You can either file for roc within the timeframe before the green card expires or when you get the divorce decree.

 

for roc you need to gather as much evidence as you can, showing mainly commingling of finances and sharing residence.

 

you don’t need a lawyer. Start reading threads at the roc forum, there are a lot of them with evidence lists and such.

 

best of luck

[geowrian 22,337]

11 minutes ago, Dianalorena said:

Do I file for divorce in the U.S even though we got married in Mexico? Is it possible? 

Yes. You can divorce from within the US fine. Married anywhere = married in the US (so long as the marriage complies with US laws).

 

11 minutes ago, Dianalorena said:

Do I file to remove conditions after the divorce is final without waiting for 2020? 

With a divorce waiver, you can file anytime from the divorce being final to the expiration period of your conditional status (2 years from when you became a permanent resident).

Filing late is possible as well, but don't do that when you can file on time.

 

11 minutes ago, Dianalorena said:

what type of evidence should I send? We have a lease together,  e-mails back and forth discussing what happened,

I read that I need a letter explaining the reason, but I'm worried still. Is it time to hire a lawyer?

No "reason" for divorce is required. What they will expect is evidence of a bona fide marriage.

[Dianalorena 1,153]

Just now, geowrian said:

Yes. You can divorce from within the US fine. Married anywhere = married in the US (so long as the marriage complies with US laws).

 

With a divorce waiver, you can file anytime from the divorce being final to the expiration period of your conditional status (2 years from when you became a permanent resident).

Filing late is possible as well, but don't do that when you can file on time.

 

No "reason" for divorce is required. What they will expect is evidence of a bona fide marriage.

thank you for the help, I'll get on it.  Definitely no point in filing late. 

 

Yeah sorry, I meant the evidence of the marriage. Although a letter explaining the reason for the divorce is usually part of it , isn't it?

I front-loaded my application and sent quite a bit, are they expecting more of the same? I have a copy of the lease, the e-mails, we filed taxes jointly this year, I'm on his insurance still and other things we were saving for the ROC. 

[NikLR 13,227]

Diana I'm so sorry.  It took forever for you to get here and now this.   ***hugs***

Now onto your most recent question.  You do not need to include any reason as to why you're divorcing.  You just need to show you entered into the marriage with genuine intent.  Anything that show you co-mingled finances and lived together is good for ROC. 

[TBoneTX 45,364]

 , D2 ma'am.

Follow the advice above, and lean on us here.

[R&OC 371]

I am so sorry! This is a tough period in your life. All the worries and concerns about the visa process and then the adjustment process afterwards.

 

Sending you all my best wishes and hope things turn out amicably. Just a word of advice: please make copies of the most necessary documents. One never knows how the mood of the day may change and what was amicable before may turn out to be less amicable later on. Better be prepared than sorry. 

[Dianalorena 1,153]

On 3/4/2019 at 6:23 PM, NikLR said:

Diana I'm so sorry.  It took forever for you to get here and now this.   ***hugs***

Now onto your most recent question.  You do not need to include any reason as to why you're divorcing.  You just need to show you entered into the marriage with genuine intent.  Anything that show you co-mingled finances and lived together is good for ROC. 

I truly appreciate it, I'm heartbroken we both are.. but as much as we tried, it's just making us both miserable.

 

I don't have a lot of evidence of co-mingled finances unfortunately, we just lived together for six months and I get paid in cash a lot so I'd just pay my part of the rent that way. but I do have the following:

 

*lease of us living together (that ends in July) with both of our names

* His life insurance naming me as his beneficiary 

* Gym membership naming me as his emergency contact

*Insurance cards with both of our names, through his job

*e-mails back and forth including the land-lady 

*joint bank account but I never use it. I'll see if he can send it

we did file taxes together, will also ask for an e-mail with the info

 

anything else I should have/try to get? 

 

 

[Dianalorena 1,153]

18 hours ago, R&OC said:

I am so sorry! This is a tough period in your life. All the worries and concerns about the visa process and then the adjustment process afterwards.

 

Sending you all my best wishes and hope things turn out amicably. Just a word of advice: please make copies of the most necessary documents. One never knows how the mood of the day may change and what was amicable before may turn out to be less amicable later on. Better be prepared than sorry. 

I agree, I'm hoping things remain amicable but just to make sure I'm taking care of the documents I need: marriage certificate and ''evidence'' of bona fide relationship. I truly appreciate the support, it's rough but I know I can get through this. 

[R&OC 371]

4 hours ago, Dianalorena said:

I truly appreciate it, I'm heartbroken we both are.. but as much as we tried, it's just making us both miserable.

 

I don't have a lot of evidence of co-mingled finances unfortunately, we just lived together for six months and I get paid in cash a lot so I'd just pay my part of the rent that way. but I do have the following:

 

*lease of us living together (that ends in July) with both of our names

* His life insurance naming me as his beneficiary 

* Gym membership naming me as his emergency contact

*Insurance cards with both of our names, through his job

*e-mails back and forth including the land-lady 

*joint bank account but I never use it. I'll see if he can send it

we did file taxes together, will also ask for an e-mail with the info

 

anything else I should have/try to get? 

 

 

Do you have utility bills? Get a few monthly bank statements with both your name on it, if you can. Secure the most recent pictures and the joint tax filing. If you have joint bank accounts, you should be able to log in yourself and print out monthly statements. 

 

And while you guys are amicable, I would try to settle the most urgent matters. I am not sure if you need temporary spousal support  or can do without but perhaps be mindful of not being left with mounting bills. Perhaps agree how to deal with the largest fixed costs such as rental lease, car payments, and especially joint credit card accounts etc. When my ex-husband left, he didn't pay any support and I had $5000 dollar a month in fixed costs (rent, two car payments, health insurance for two kids and myself etc) and zero income. By the time the court made him pay in arrears, five months had passed and I struggled to even purchase my daughters medication. Having said that, eventually the courts will create a fair situation but just protect yourself from any financial liability he could potentially roll over to you and limit your exposure. I know your situation is a different one and can not necessarily be compared.

 

 Once you decided to divorce - I am a firm believer in clear boundaries while never loosing sight of being a decent human being.

Edited March 6, 2019 by R&OC

[C-ma'am 684]

On 3/5/2019 at 1:25 AM, TBoneTX said:

 , D2 ma'am.

Follow the advice above, and lean on us here.

What T said ❤️