Foreign wife Abuses hits Citizen husband, your experience or knowledge can help me

[MakeItWork 0]

My wife is from another county and she is being  verbally and physically abusive. 

 

adjustment status of the K1 visa coming soon 

interview is coming quickly.

 

She literally has hit me a dozen or more times before I even put up a hand to stop it. 

 

There have been days where I have headaches from being hit in the head and had to push her away from me.

 

Our physical incidents were gone I thought because I would not engage

 

Then I found myself in what could of been serious harm although I can see now she didn't realize I could of been really hurt (not trying to sugar coat it but it's true)

 

I was trying to get away but luck would have it that she still got hurt bad enough that we had to seek attention. 

 

I never thought I would be in this type of relationship due to my aversion of violence towards women, 

 

Now that I am married I feel like I can't run and kept trying to make it work. To be honest I do want it to work but I don't think she does anymore.

 

I know couples usually want to get past it and make it work. Could the marriage be saved? I don't know but she says she wants to go and leave me.

 

She's not totally against me and has been supportive at times but none of it out weighs the verbal pain nor being hit.

 

We applied for adjustment status of the K1 visa awhile back.  Our interview is coming quickly.

 

Please! if anyone has ever been in this situation I implore you to tell me your experience.

 

If I have posted this in the wrong place... Please post where I can get some answers.

 

 

 

 

Edited February 25, 2019 by MakeItWork

[dwheels76 5,468]

7 minutes ago, MakeItWork said:

My wife is from another county and she is being  verbally and physically abusive. 

 

adjustment status of the K1 visa coming soon 

interview is coming quickly.

 

She literally has hit me a dozen or more times before I even put up a hand to stop it. 

 

There have been days where I have headaches from being hit in the head and had to push her away from me.

 

Our physical incidents were gone I thought because I would not engage

 

Then I found myself in what could of been serious harm although I can see now she didn't realize I could of been really hurt (not trying to sugar coat it but it's true)

 

I was trying to get away but luck would have it that she still got hurt bad enough that we had to seek attention. 

 

I never thought I would be in this type of relationship due to my aversion of violence towards women, 

 

Now that I am married I feel like I can't run and kept trying to make it work. To be honest I do want it to work but I don't think she does anymore.

 

I know couples usually want to get past it and make it work. Could the marriage be saved? I don't know but she says she wants to go and leave me.

 

She's not totally against me and has been supportive at times but none of it out weighs the verbal pain nor being hit.

 

We applied for adjustment status of the K1 visa awhile back.  Our interview is coming quickly.

 

Please! if anyone has ever been in this situation I implore you to tell me your experience.

 

If I have posted this in the wrong place... Please post where I can get some answers.

 

 

 

 

What is it you want to know? Answers to what do you need. You didn't ask a question just told us what's up.

 

Actually in my opinion looks like she has been building a case against you and may scream VAWA (Violence Against Women Act). she can then get her green card approved on her own and not needing you and you both go your separate ways which she seems to want to do.

 

It's up to you to decide if you want to save your marriage but you can stop everything and withdrawal the petition. Your choice.

[millefleur 5,046]

**Moved from K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress Reports to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits to be among similar threads**

[Just Paul 4,595]

Make sure you are someplace safe where you aren't going to be threatened.  You certainly do not what her to say you are hitting or abusing you even verbally.   

 

If it were me I would not AOS and try to talk / offer to help her get back to her home country.  You can go to the interview and withdraw AOS.  You can most probably go in before on your own and withdraw it.

 

It doesn't sound like she is happy hear either.  Get a divorce and move on.

[David & Diana R 1,005]

Get the hell out.  Get away from her before she ends up making a false claim of abuse.  Once she does that you are in a heap of trouble, subject to arrest, on-going harassment, etc....  Run and don't be alone with her at any time.  She is setting you up. 

Edited February 25, 2019 by David & Zoila

[mushroomspore 3,044]

1 minute ago, David & Zoila said:

Get the hell out.  Get away from her before she ends up making a false claim of abuse.  Once she does that you are in a heap of trouble, subject to arrest, deportation, etc....  Run and don't be alone with her at any time.   

Sounds like he's a US citizen and she's the immigrant.

 

But regardless, OP needs to get away. @MakeItWork, you don't have to go to the interview with her. If you are absent, it's an automatic denial and she will have to go back to her country. Might be the only permanent solution to get her out of your life. You can file for divorce from anywhere. Just get physically away from her.

[David & Diana R 1,005]

6 minutes ago, mushroomspore said:

Sounds like he's a US citizen and she's the immigrant.

 

But regardless, OP needs to get away. @MakeItWork, you don't have to go to the interview with her. If you are absent, it's an automatic denial and she will have to go back to her country. Might be the only permanent solution to get her out of your life. You can file for divorce from anywhere. Just get physically away from her.

You're right.  I missed that the first time around and have edited my post to correct the error.  Mahalo and Aloha, Dave

[EM_Vandaveer 2,408]

Why on Earth would you go ahead with the AOS? File for divorce. When the interview letter comes, attend the interview and notify the USCIS adjudicator that you filed for divorce & wish to withdraw the I-864.

[NikLR 13,227]

A man doesnt deserve or need to put up with being abused by a woman anymore than a woman should have to deal with being abused by a man.  Couples should love each other not hit each other so this goes for same sex couples as well.  

 

You should leave this marriage.  She isnt going to magically change and stop hitting you.  As you said she isnt interested in saving the marriage or changing. Leave and pull the i-864.  Stay safe.  Do not be alone with her. File for divorce.  

 

Edited February 25, 2019 by NikLR

[Kowatti 189]

2 hours ago, MakeItWork said:

My wife is from another county and she is being  verbally and physically abusive. 

 

adjustment status of the K1 visa coming soon 

interview is coming quickly.

 

She literally has hit me a dozen or more times before I even put up a hand to stop it. 

 

There have been days where I have headaches from being hit in the head and had to push her away from me.

 

Our physical incidents were gone I thought because I would not engage

 

Then I found myself in what could of been serious harm although I can see now she didn't realize I could of been really hurt (not trying to sugar coat it but it's true)

 

I was trying to get away but luck would have it that she still got hurt bad enough that we had to seek attention. 

 

I never thought I would be in this type of relationship due to my aversion of violence towards women, 

 

Now that I am married I feel like I can't run and kept trying to make it work. To be honest I do want it to work but I don't think she does anymore.

 

I know couples usually want to get past it and make it work. Could the marriage be saved? I don't know but she says she wants to go and leave me.

 

She's not totally against me and has been supportive at times but none of it out weighs the verbal pain nor being hit.

 

We applied for adjustment status of the K1 visa awhile back.  Our interview is coming quickly.

 

Please! if anyone has ever been in this situation I implore you to tell me your experience.

 

If I have posted this in the wrong place... Please post where I can get some answers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

WOW!  I cannot believe what I am reading.  So very sorry things are not working out.  Please tell me that you are not living together........First of all, decide if you want to remain in an abusive relationship, knowing that someone might get hurt badly one day.  It takes more than loving someone for a marriage to work.  You should leave for your own safety & peace of mind.  Stay with a family member or close friend.  Get an attorney, go to your local court bldg & talk to the migistrate.  Get a restraining order against her.  If you don't protect yourself legally, I have a bad feeling that she will make it appear as though you are the abuser.  Get legal separation & file for divorce.  You don't have to complete the AOS process.  Be honest & withdraw, if that's possilbe at this stage.  It's her business how she proceeds or handles that.  You never really know someone until you live with the person or at least had a long dating relationship with the persosn.  I am retired from law enforcement, so I can only give you advice from that perspective.  Unfortunatley, often the female gender has the upper hand when it comes to abusive cases.  This is merely my opinion & you must do what is good for you.  I wish you safety & peace of mind.  

Edited February 25, 2019 by PandT

[carmel34 3,635]

Sounds like Coltee and Larissa from 90-Day Fiance(e).

[nastra30 2,287]

Dude, run as fast as you can. Don't entertain this nonsense because of love. Love can be blind too. Don't attend the interview with her.

[Going through 5,671]

self-deleted 

Edited February 26, 2019 by Going through

[Going through 5,671]

3 hours ago, MakeItWork said:

I was trying to get away but luck would have it that she still got hurt bad enough that we had to seek attention. 

 

I never thought I would be in this type of relationship due to my aversion of violence towards women, 

Just to clarify---not sure if it was a typo, or a language barrier...did you strike her at any time?  If so, she may be able to build a VAWA case against you based on physical abuse...and now would have proof of it from medical records.

 

Disclaimer:  I am not trying to make any physical abuse he suffered any less relevant....just trying to seek clarification from the bolded statement above.

 

[Kowatti 189]

2 minutes ago, Going through said:

Just to clarify---not sure if it was a typo, or a language barrier...did you strike her at any time?  If so, she may be able to build a VAWA case against you based on physical abuse...and now would have proof of it from medical records.

 

Disclaimer:  I am not trying to make any physical abuse he suffered any less relevant....just trying to seek clarification from the bolded statement above.

You are correct in your thinking.  If he physically assaulted her during an altercation, now this is going to present a problem for him.