3rd Trimester Pregnant, Waiting for Interview

[JFH 12,190]

2 minutes ago, raaguas said:

Correct me if im wrong but i think it would take us longer to be able to migrate if i stay and not leave together with my parents right? Rather than me going to the US first then petition my child once i get my green card? 

So your life in America is more important than your child having his mother? Your wants are more important than his needs? 

[raaguas 2]

20 minutes ago, JFH said:

So your life in America is more important than your child having his mother? Your wants are more important than his needs? 

Its definitely not my wants that im thinking about. Im from Philippines by the way and the life here is poor. I believe I would be able to respond to his needs if i will get a job in the US to support his needs while the petition for him is on going. I could go and see him if i want during the process anyway. I want to bring him to the US as early as i could so he would grow up in a better environment than we have here in our country, you cant imagine how life here is, thats why im looking for faster options and good advices and support from other people. Please try not to judge me as a mom, I wish I could take him anywhere I go but I also need to work for him and either way i stay or i leave to migrate with my parents i will need to work away from him for a good pay for his needs. 

[JFH 12,190]

6 minutes ago, raaguas said:

Its definitely not my wants that im thinking about. Im from Philippines by the way and the life here is poor. I believe I would be able to respond to his needs if i will get a job in the US to support his needs while the petition for him is on going. I could go and see him if i want during the process anyway. I want to bring him to the US as early as i could so he would grow up in a better environment than we have here in our country, you cant imagine how life here is, thats why im looking for faster options and good advices and support from other people. Please try not to judge me as a mom, I wish I could take him anywhere I go but I also need to work for him and either way i stay or i leave to migrate with my parents i will need to work away from him for a good pay for his needs. 

I’m not judging you - and I’ve lived in India and China so I do understand poverty and struggle. I volunteered for a year in an orphanage in China. But where would you leave the child? The grandparents are leaving the country. Everyone except you will be a stranger to him. Are they prepared to take in a newborn with all that work and added expense (diapers, formula, clothing) so that you can skip off to your new life? I know what I would say if my sister/cousin announced that they were leaving their newborn with me to start a new life somewhere else. If the father isn’t involved, you are all he has in the world. 

 

There’s no guarantee you will get work here when you arrive. We have unemployment here too. What if you don’t find work and can’t send money back home? There is struggle here too. 

 

People from developing countries often think money guarantees a better life. But you can’t buy happiness and the bond between mother and child. There is a lot more to a “better life” than a bigger house, newer car and more clothes. My father abandoned us and walked out on the family for a new life with another woman. I would have given anything as a child to have my dad there for my birthdays, Christmas, etc. 

 

It’s your choice and you come from a culture where many people regularly leave children behind. But it’s a lot different leaving a 7-year-old with the grandparents he knows and loves than a nursing infant with a stranger. 

 

 

[JFH 12,190]

Have you looked into other places where you can offer him a better life? Singapore? Hong Kong? UAE? I know many Filipinas go there to work. I don’t know if you can take your child with you, though, but it’s worth investigating. 

[SusieQQQ 11,586]

1 hour ago, raaguas said:

Correct me if im wrong but i think it would take us longer to be able to migrate if i stay and not leave together with my parents right? Rather than me going to the US first then petition my child once i get my green card? 

How old are you? It depends on that. Of course have been assuming you haven’t aged out as you are asking these questions. 

[raaguas 2]

Those places are definitely not an option. You can only apply there thru agencies for working visa only but not with your family. Usually you need to work there for 3 years without vacation and the pay is not that good compared to US. 

 

Ofcourse I will never leave my child to someone iam not sure to take care of my child well and i will ofcourse provide for his needs. ill be more personal and in depth now, I am working in a cruise ship based in the US and if i cannot bring him to the US with me to migrate I will definitely go back to the ship again to work since I am getting paid well there and it will be for his needs. So either way I will be away from him to be able to give his needs. 

 

If i do not migrate with my parents, i will go back and forth to the ship to work with 7 months contract, 2 months vacation until my parents could successfully petition us for 10years or more.. But if I go with them i might just be away from my child for few months and visit him more than once in that 2 years and take him with me once i successfully petition him. Hope you understand better now. 

 

Im sorry for your situation, but I do have a different one and I will never abandon my child and choose him over any other person. I am a mother, the Lord God is who i trust. I know everything happens for a good reason. Thank you for your advices anyway. 

[whimper 8]

3 hours ago, raaguas said:

Correct me if im wrong but i think it would take us longer to be able to migrate if i stay and not leave together with my parents right? Rather than me going to the US first then petition my child once i get my green card? 

I assumed you are under 21 years of age. And you said, your father was under F3, making you a derivative of that petition. Unfortunately, there is no path for a derivative beneficiary (which is you) to pass the same immigration status to your child. They will do the schedule the interview for your parents and derivatives so it is hard to plan exactly when you have the visa to enter the US. Most likely, you will give birth before the travel plan takes place. Once your parents and derivatives get their visas, the visa usually has at least 6 months validity that you must enter. Even if you don't fly with them, you must follow with your family within a year so you don't have to be petition separately that could take more time for you. If I was in your position, I would fly with them and petition the baby asap. It sounds like you already know what to do.

[geowrian 22,337]

I would just point out that it's quite common with the Philippines to be separated for the later betterment of the family unit. That's why there's so many OFWs...they usually aren't working just for their own benefits. But the long term goal is to be united still.

Obviously the situation is different here as the closest family members are all immigrating, and the child would be an infant, in which time with the mother is likely the most important consideration.

 

Consequently, it's also why family is often not good ties to return home for non-immigrant visas like a tourist visa. It works both ways.

[hope2018 25]

23 hours ago, raaguas said:

Seeking advice on what to do. Hoping someone can help...

I am petitioned together with my father (principal applicant), mother and younger sister under F3. We just received an email this month that we just need to wait for the interview schedule. 

I am single, currently on my 34th week of pregnancy has no plans of getting married to the father of my child and now what i am wondering about is what might happen on the interview. We are thinking that we might be scheduled for interview before or after i give birth. 
It will require me to go for medical tests either way. 

But my question is would it affect the approval of my visa? Will i be able to bring my child with me and get a visa for him as early as i could after he is born? What could be the questions that i might get from the interviewer? 

I really want to bring my child with me for a better future. He is the most important person for me now. May God bless us all.

 

You can decide either:

-Leave the baby behind and immigrate with your family:  Immigrant visas are normally valid for 6 months after the interview, so you can try to stay behind as long as possible with your baby. Hopefully your baby will be older than 6 months by this time. You can travel to the US and they will give you a temporary green card stamp on your passport, it takes several months before you will actually receive the green card. You may want to check with USCIS to see if you can leave the US with just this stamp and come back to see your baby as soon as possible. You cannot stay outside of the US for more than 6 months with just a green card unless you apply for Re-entry permit. If you apply for re-entry permit and do expedite request,  no one knows how long it will take, but you can stay outside of the US up to 2 years with it. If you have a green card, you can file for your child and the process take about 1.5 to 2 years depending on the visa bulletin. 

This option costs A LOT of money travel back and forth. It will be a huge financial burden on your sponsor/family. It also takes you away from your baby's MOST CRITICAL PERIOD of life. Baby grows up fast and no amount of money or luxury in this world can buy the time you have with your baby. 

- OR You can stay behind and let your family immigrate first. Your parents can file for you under F2b category. It takes about 11 years for the Philippines or maybe longer in the future, but you can stay with your child until then and both of you can immigrate to the US. He will still be under 21 years old and can adapt to the US just fine. You will be in your 30s, which is still young.  Your family can send money back home to help you raise your child.

 Once your child is born, you will feel different. It will be extremely hard to be away from your child even for one day. 

Best of luck to you. 

Edited February 24, 2019 by hope2018

[raaguas 2]

14 hours ago, geowrian said:

I would just point out that it's quite common with the Philippines to be separated for the later betterment of the family unit. That's why there's so many OFWs...they usually aren't working just for their own benefits. But the long term goal is to be united still.

Obviously the situation is different here as the closest family members are all immigrating, and the child would be an infant, in which time with the mother is likely the most important consideration.

 

Consequently, it's also why family is often not good ties to return home for non-immigrant visas like a tourist visa. It works both ways.

 

5 hours ago, hope2018 said:

 

You can decide either:

-Leave the baby behind and immigrate with your family:  Immigrant visas are normally valid for 6 months after the interview, so you can try to stay behind as long as possible with your baby. Hopefully your baby will be older than 6 months by this time. You can travel to the US and they will give you a temporary green card stamp on your passport, it takes several months before you will actually receive the green card. You may want to check with USCIS to see if you can leave the US with just this stamp and come back to see your baby as soon as possible. You cannot stay outside of the US for more than 6 months with just a green card unless you apply for Re-entry permit. If you apply for re-entry permit and do expedite request,  no one knows how long it will take, but you can stay outside of the US up to 2 years with it. If you have a green card, you can file for your child and the process take about 1.5 to 2 years depending on the visa bulletin. 

This option costs A LOT of money travel back and forth. It will be a huge financial burden on your sponsor/family. It also takes you away from your baby's MOST CRITICAL PERIOD of life. Baby grows up fast and no amount of money or luxury in this world can buy the time you have with your baby. 

- OR You can stay behind and let your family immigrate first. Your parents can file for you under F2b category. It takes about 11 years for the Philippines or maybe longer in the future, but you can stay with your child until then and both of you can immigrate to the US. He will still be under 21 years old and can adapt to the US just fine. You will be in your 30s, which is still young.  Your family can send money back home to help you raise your child.

 Once your child is born, you will feel different. It will be extremely hard to be away from your child even for one day. 

Best of luck to you. 

Thanks for the ones who wished us luck youve been very helpful and i honestly felt the support and kindness, for the consideration especially now that I am going thru pregnancy.

 

For those who were being harsh and were just pointing out how a bad mom I could be, even though all I want is just the best for my child thats why I am looking for chances as early as this point, Still thanks to you. 

 

All I can do now is pray for God to guide us through this journey, May His will be done. Thanks and God bless everyone.