Married to non us citizen

[C90 376]

22 hours ago, Justinehobarten said:

Hi I married a non us citizen, who overstayed his esta visa by 160 days. I never filed ANYTHING with uscis or an affidavit of support. He is now in his home country. (We don't have kids and he is not in the country)

 

Here's why I didn't apply for anything: he quickly became abusive physically and mentally as well as cheating (he also abused another woman he cheated on me with.) had a drug issue and was arrested or petty theft but the charges were dropped in the short amount of time we have been married. He was even fired from his (illegal) job for drinking too much and doing drugs on the job.

 

i want a divorce, he does not. Because he says if I divorce him I'm ruining his life so how about we apply for counselor of processing as friends...which I am obviously not going to do. But he's also threatening to just file for vawa. I'm scared he might be able to come back through this.

i don't know who to forward the information to with my domestic violence police reports and such.

 

has anyone been in my situation I don't know what to do. I asked him to stop contacting me so we can move on through divorce and he is cat fishing me through fake numbers and calling and texting non stop.

Besides following all the great advice you already got here, try to check the divorce laws in your state / county. I know some parts of California you can get divorced even when the other person refuses to sign the paperwork (according to Google). But idk how it works for your state / county and if it's as easy as that. At least worth looking into I would think.

Edited February 21, 2019 by C90

[Lemonslice 4,859]

 

Could be someone close to you feeding him information, or your computer/phone might be infected.

 

Make sure your online presence is secure.

• Install anti-virus on your computer, check for malware, and remove any malware that is discovered. Use a well-regarded program such as Avast, Avira, Bitdefender, ESET, or F-Secure.
• If your computer was infected, ** Please do the following from someone else's computer.  Do not do it from your phone or computer.*** Immediately change your passwords for any financial accounts, social media, and email 
• Ideally, change your important passwords, and use two-factor authentication (2FA) for any accounts that support it. Especially consider two-factor authentication for your Email and Banking services. Gmail, Bank of America, Yahoo!, Facebook, Twitter, and many other services support two factor authentication. You can find a whole list at twofactorauth.org. Make sure to print out backup codes (if applicable), and keep the backup codes in a safe location such as a fireproof safe. Two factor authentication will keep anyone who gets your password from being able to log in, but if you don't have your backup codes and you lose your phone or device, you'll be locked out too! You can also use a password manager such as 1Password or LastPass to securely store passwords that are too long to remember.

Here is an article with more information and resources, if you feel you need it. https://www.thehotline.org/2014/06/25/behind-the-screens-spyware-and-domestic-violence/

 

[Going through 5,671]

Be careful HOW you post things online as well, especially if he is seemingly seeking out information about you....

 

For example,  your VJ username.  If that is your real first and/or last name, would not have been the best idea---these forums can be read by anyone.

 

 

[junkmart 320]

On 2/19/2019 at 10:58 PM, Justinehobarten said:

I can not afford one at the moment. 

I cannot afford one, I have no income. 

Try contacting a family crisis center who helps people are are abused. I'm sure they would be able to put you in contact with a pro bono attorney organization that might be able to help you with your divorce.

[junkmart 320]

On 2/20/2019 at 12:17 AM, Justinehobarten said:

We have the domestic violence legal clinic here but I just get anxiety thinking about telling another person my boo hoo story of being taken advantage of, being made small and to feel scared.

I would encourage you to muster up the courage to do so anyway. They are professionals who should know how to make you feel at ease. They hear stories like your all the time. You're not alone. Taking the first step is never easy, but once you do it will be a huge relief off of your shoulders.

[Illiria 980]

7 hours ago, Going through said:

Be careful HOW you post things online as well, especially if he is seemingly seeking out information about you....

 

For example,  your VJ username.  If that is your real first and/or last name, would not have been the best idea---these forums can be read by anyone.

 

 

Yeah I reported it to ask the moderators to reach out to the OP because I had the same worry. 

[Justinehobarten 0]

21 hours ago, Cathi said:

If you cannot afford an attorney the court has pro bono lawyers they can refer you to.

Oh really? I didn’t know that. Is that in every state?

[TBoneTX 45,329]

6 hours ago, Justinehobarten said:

Oh really? I didn’t know that. Is that in every state?

Anywhere!   Remember: we rarely get what we don't ask for.