Married to non us citizen

[Justinehobarten 0]

1 minute ago, TBoneTX said:

While pursuing divorce, you might also consider sending objective details of your case to the U.S. consulate in his home country (evidence of his overstay, the police reports, et al.).  This will ensure that he can't return.

 

Find out also if the police in his country can prevent him from harassing you.

That’s a good idea. I can tell he wants to make things a hassle because when he references of how us getting divorced is going to him over...but he loves me and wants things to work out. Bc he will be living his dream of working in America -and mention of living with me is always a secondary thought.

(even though we didn’t file ANYTHING AT ALL, because I didn’t know what to do when he started being abusive I was blindsided and making excuses for his behavior.) 

[TBoneTX 45,329]

Your days of being manipulated are now over.  Look yourself in the mirror and repeat this aloud, with more conviction each time, until you believe it.

 

Tell the consulate about his illegal work, too.

[Justinehobarten 0]

54 minutes ago, TBoneTX said:

Your days of being manipulated are now over.  Look yourself in the mirror and repeat this aloud, with more conviction each time, until you believe it.

 

Tell the consulate about his illegal work, too.

Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate it. 

[belinda63 3,038]

In the US he doesn't have to agree to the divorce. You can divorce him without him being in the US and without him agreeing to it. There are ways to block his number on phones, write "refused, return to sender" on any mail you receive from him, block him on social media. 

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

9 hours ago, Justinehobarten said:

I was just thinking dissolution of marriage was an option because it only needs to take one spouse to not be In it. 

 

 It idk how I benefit from attaching criminal charges against him because it’s just going to drag it out and he knows I don’t have the money to fight things in court. We have the domestic violence legal clinic here but I just get anxiety thinking about telling another person my boo hoo story of being taken advantage of, being made small and to feel scared. 

 

I’m not currently employed because my job was seasonal. But he is grasping at straws. So I’m assuming my best bet is to file criminal charges against him? Idk

Your safety, health, and just general sanity are top priorities. If you have the means to get help, such as a domestic violence clinic or therapist, do not let the idea of telling your story to someone deter you. These resources are there for THAT very reason, and DO help. Take it from someone who's attended therapy in their past for very similar reasons - it. is. worth it. I promise you. It does feel strange at first, especially if it's things you never disclosed to anyone else, but the end result is absolutely worth it. In addition to resolving your marriage/divorce issue, you also need to make sure to tend to and care for yourself.

 

 

3 hours ago, belinda63 said:

In the US he doesn't have to agree to the divorce. You can divorce him without him being in the US and without him agreeing to it. There are ways to block his number on phones, write "refused, return to sender" on any mail you receive from him, block him on social media. 

^^^ THIS.

 

It can become redundant, ignoring and avoiding someone who doesn't want to be avoided. But you just have to stick to it and don't allow them to get the best of you.

 

I wish you the best of luck, friend.

[Unidentified 2,930]

10 hours ago, Boiler said:

Sounds like somebody you are giving you new contact details to is passing them on.

 

 

Considering how freakishly hard it is to find someone's number in this country this is so true. Don't share your gameplan with anyone you think might be in contact with him. 

[Illiria 980]

Contact the police, file a restraining order, contact the police in his country and see if you can get a restraining order in that country as well as he is doing the harassment from there, go to your local court house and see if there are any advocates that help low income petitioners with divorce. Increase the privacy filters on your social media, so that he can’t send messages to you, can’t see what you post, can’t friend you, and if any of your friends allow him to send messages on their accounts then un friend them this isn’t a time for politeness but one of self preservation. You have to be proactive, for the sake of your safety and sanity. 

Edited February 20, 2019 by Illiria

[bestluck 71]

9 hours ago, Justinehobarten said:

That’s a good idea. I can tell he wants to make things a hassle because when he references of how us getting divorced is going to him over...but he loves me and wants things to work out. Bc he will be living his dream of working in America -and mention of living with me is always a secondary thought.

(even though we didn’t file ANYTHING AT ALL, because I didn’t know what to do when he started being abusive I was blindsided and making excuses for his behavior.) 

How did you guys meet ? why you merry  him if you know that he have no visa and drugs addic and breaking the law of this beautiful country ?

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

Just now, bestluck said:

How did you guys meet ? why you merry  him if you know that he have no visa and drugs addic and breaking the law of this beautiful country ?

I'm pretty positive that their spouse did not necessarily show all their cards upfront, prior to marriage. People like that typically change once those lines have been crossed - not in the very beginning. And those very reasons you cite are among the many reasons she is staying away and seeking divorce now, I imagine.

[bestluck 71]

3 minutes ago, Paul & Mallory said:

I'm pretty positive that their spouse did not necessarily show all their cards upfront, prior to marriage. People like that typically change once those lines have been crossed - not in the very beginning. And those very reasons you cite are among the many reasons she is staying away and seeking divorce now, I imagine.

Yes I agree , she need to stay away from him and block him on social media , 

[Jeanne Adil 1,651]

you can block all unknown numbers on your cell

you can put facebook to private

 

or stop using social media till this is over

 

how can you be embarrassed to tell a clinic your boo hoo story when they have heard it all and can help

and we can't

go and get the help you need 

nothing to be embarrassed about 

this happens in the best of families

[SalishSea 17,847]

I agree with notifying his country's US consulate about everything you've posted here.  He is no longer eligible for the ESTA/VWP, and would need to apply for a B-2 to even be allowed back into the US at this point.  

 

You married him, but that alone does not confer any immigrant (or non-immigrant) privileges or status in the United States.

 

Stand your ground, protect yourself, REFUSE to be victimized.  Disappear from social media if that is what it takes to protect yourself from harassment from overseas.  

[Rocko20 159]

19 hours ago, Justinehobarten said:

I can not afford one at the moment. 

I cannot afford one, I have no income. 

 

You can still talk to a divorce/immigration lawyer online, they'll charge a small fee ($15-25) for answering any legal questions you have. It's better than nothing 

Edited February 21, 2019 by Rocko20

[Cathi 5,757]

If you cannot afford an attorney the court has pro bono lawyers they can refer you to.

[GaryFunk 7]

20 hours ago, Justinehobarten said:

I can not afford one at the moment. 

I cannot afford one, I have no income. 

Call your local bar association and ask for a list of Pro-Bono lawyers.

 

DON'T trust him.  Divorce and move on.