I have to file for divorce during roc. Advice please.

[chrisete 55]

Hi everyone, 

 

Well it's a sad day but life has been fairly miserable here for some time.  I bought the house we live in and helped him get a loan against it to put up a shop.  He is constantly criticizing,  calling names, and frankly doesn't pay for a thing.  Three months ago he pitched a fit a melted down in a way I haven't seen since a 3 year d didn't get his way at Walmart.  I was afraid of him with that kind of explosive temper and luckily he went away for 2 weeks in which I went to see a lawyer.  

 

I left a very good paying job to try and work this through and am now only working part time as a care giver for the va.  I do have back up savings so I am ok but need to sell this house to start out again especially with a low wage. 

 

He wants me to wait until I get my 10 year gc as we filed the 751 in Aug 2018 and also give him 2 years to buy me out.  I can't do another 2 years, its already been 2.5.  I would have no where to go except back home.  I like it here and gave made friends.  

 

Have been to the lawyer and since I bought the house with money earned before marriage I am fine.   

 

Why do I feel so guilty about getting on with this divorce.  We've been friends for 25 years and now we barely speak.  

 

Anyhow. Thanks for hearing me out.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated. 

[Going through 5,671]

11 hours ago, chrisete said:

Why do I feel so guilty about getting on with this divorce.  We've been friends for 25 years and now we barely speak.  

Because you have a shared history and he's been with you through major events in your life, happy times, sad times, etc. either as a friend or as a spouse.

He was a major part of your life for so long.

 

Because you invested a lot of time and energy into this relationship already and it can be hard to let go of that---you gave up your lifestyle in Canada, your friends and family in Canada, your job in Canada and your home in Canada.  It can be difficult to now face the realization that it wasn't all for the best.  And it can be very difficult (and scary) to start all over again "on your own".

 

11 hours ago, chrisete said:

He wants me to wait until I get my 10 year gc as we filed the 751 in Aug 2018 and also give him 2 years to buy me out.  I can't do another 2 years, its already been 2.5.  I would have no where to go except back home.  I like it here and gave made friends.  

In a way, this is a good thing since it seems he wants to encourage you to at least secure your legal status in America until you decide what you want to do.

On the flip-side, his thought might be just being able to get the house and thinking you have to remain in the US to do so.  if you wanted to move back to Canada you don't need to wait until then if you chose to file for divorce (you don't have to remain in the US until the divorce is finalized).

 

You also have the option of continuing the ROC on your own with a divorce waiver, which would remove his involvement in your immigration should you wish to stay in the US.

[chrisete 55]

3 minutes ago, Going through said:

Because you have a shared history and he's been with you through major events in your life, happy times, sad times, etc. either as a friend or as a spouse.

He was a major part of your life for so long.

 

Because you invested a lot of time and energy into this relationship already and it can be hard to let go of that---you gave up your lifestyle in Canada, your friends and family in Canada, your job in Canada and your home in Canada.  It can be difficult to now face the realization that it wasn't all for the best.  And it can be very difficult (and scary) to start all over again "on your own".

 

In a way, this is a good thing since it seems he wants to encourage you to at least secure your legal status in America until you decide what you want to do.

On the flip-side, his thought might be just being able to get the house and thinking you have to remain in the US to do so.  if you wanted to move back to Canada you don't need to wait until then if you chose to file for divorce (you don't have to remain in the US until the divorce is finalized).

 

You also have the option of continuing the ROC on your own with a divorce waiver, which would remove his involvement in your immigration should you wish to stay in the US.

Thanks #going through.  I've never been with so little money and feeling alone.  I don't want to hurt his feelings but he seems to care so little for mine.  

 

I'm looking for a good job now bit my head is so messed up from all of this.  It's hard to concentrate and I don't really want to go back to Canada right now since I'm sure I can find another good job even though it will take time.  

 

It's the timing of this now although I have read up on how to file a divorce waiver during roc.  It still frightens me though.  

[Going through 5,671]

43 minutes ago, chrisete said:

It's the timing of this now although I have read up on how to file a divorce waiver during roc. 

You can switch your filing to a divorce waiver petition by sending a request in writing to the field office adjudicating your ROC (which removes the USC from the process) and letting them know that you two are separated/started divorce proceedings.  Include a copy of the NOA from your i-751 with your letter. 

I would suggest doing this now, so that by the time your interview rolled around you'd have the final divorce decree in hand to submit without further delaying your case.  

 

Alternately, if an interview is scheduled and you attend without your spouse, you can also verbally inform the IO that you want to switch to a divorce waiver there, instead of receiving an automatic denial.

 

With a divorce waiver request, the I-751 cannot be approved until you submit to USCIS the final divorce decree.  However, you do not need to be officially divorced before filing the waiver request.

 

I would strongly suggest choosing the divorce waiver path, instead of continuing the joint petition, and now informing USCIS in writing that you two are separating (whether formally or informally) and/or going through divorce proceedings so as not to have any cause for USCIS to say you misrepresented yourself later on.  It's happened where a VJ member's N400 was denied because the couple never informed the officer they were undergoing a divorce during their ROC process (the IO felt the 10-year green card was incorrectly approved).

 

 

Edited February 4, 2019 by Going through

[chrisete 55]

Thanks.  Thats the only thing that feels right for me to do.  I so appreciate your help and understanding.