I got married, my husband decided to divorce me, so I left US and what to do now

[HonoraryCitizen 179]

10 minutes ago, Kiolas said:

If you read all of her posts on this forum, you maybe understand (or maybe not).

 

I'm surprised that people who post replies on this forum have so much negativity and are so judgmental against women, without any compassion towards women who experienced cruelty and abuse by men. People, be kind to each other! God bless you all🙏 

 

 

Don't pull that card. You got called out. This has nothing to do with negativity, judgmental, without compassion etc. On the contrary people on VJ are very compassionate and caring when they read about abuse. There is no case for VAWA from what we have read. Filing fraudulent charges against people is unethical and an abuse of the system.

Edited January 9, 2019 by HonoraryCitizen

[aaron2020 11,651]

Just now, Kiolas said:

If you read all of her posts on this forum, you maybe understand (or maybe not).

 

I'm surprised that people who post replies on this forum have so much negativity and are so judgmental against women, without any compassion towards women who experienced cruelty and abuse by men. People, be kind to each other! God bless you all🙏 

 

 

I've read all her posts and there is nothing about how he caused her miscarriage or how cheating is a violation of the VAWA.

 

You have failed to explain how her miscarriage and him cheating violates the VAWA.  

 

I'm not surprised that people who throw VAWA without explaining anything, and when asked to explain, they default into calling others judgmental against women because they have nothing.

I support women.  I also support knowledge.  I don't support ignorance.  

Maybe it's you that don't understand what the VAWA is all about.  

 

[nastra30 2,287]

The OP needs her EAD for whatever reason though it's a useless piece of card now. But if she truly wants it I think she should continue to fight for it but through the courts; the police in the US don't have any right to try and retrieve it at his place without a warrant. I don't think miscarriages and cheating are VAWA cases even though it's heartbreaking for anybody to go through it.

Edited January 9, 2019 by nastra30

[R&OC 371]

Sorry this all happened to you.

 

First of all, and take my advice or leave it - don't focus on the things that you have no control over anyway. As for your mail - yes, this is unfortunate but give up the fight.

 

Secondly, if I were you - I would focus on your divorce. For one, he may have to cover your lawyers expenses because you have no assets. I have a few friends that earn more or were the sole breadwinners and covered their spouses lawyer fees. Thirdly, a proper divorce is necessary as you want to make sure your financial obligations (such as hospital bill, or any other bill in your name) will not cause a negative impact for you in the future. And from my perspective, the bill should be covered by him if you did not earn any income.

 

All I am trying to say is, try to get a divorce lawyer (hopefully paid by your spouse) and ask for a minimum of spousal support (aka financial help to restart your life back in Europe). Based on the short period of time your marriage lasted, I wouldn't expect too much but perhaps some sort of help with the return flight and starting your life over again.

[mushroomspore 3,044]

6 minutes ago, Kiolas said:

If you read all of her posts on this forum, you maybe understand (or maybe not).

 

I'm surprised that people who post replies on this forum have so much negativity and are so judgmental against women, without any compassion towards women who experienced cruelty and abuse by men. People, be kind to each other! God bless you all🙏 

 

 

OP said it was her ex's decision to leave and to go back to his ex (emphasis mine):

 

4 hours ago, Katerina Hall said:

Please don’t judge, if you dont know the details.. for first I got pregnant with him and we were planning the future together, then I misscarried and it was his decision, that he decided to leave me alone and just come back to his ex. Anyway I would like to have all mail I got from them to keep for the future, if I will want to go to visit US or something, so any proof from my marriage there.. I dont want it just because I wanna go back and think I will start to work there.. definitely not. Anyway I have a proof he got the mail, he sent me an email, that he will send it to my address and even sent me a picture of it. Anyway thanks for your answer.

Maybe the comma confused your interpretation of that sentence. Even still, she did not say ANYWHERE that HE caused the miscarriage. Unless HE caused it and OP has HARD PROOF of it, the miscarriage has nothing to do with VAWA. And I even said in my previous comment that both the miscarriage and cheating are horrible, yet that makes me "judgmental against women"? I am a woman myself and work in a very tough business where women still struggle to be represented properly and have gone into this business for the purpose of helping to foster change and proper gender equality. If OP had indicated patterns of abuse in her marriage, we would ALL be advocating VAWA. There is no abuse here, hence no VAWA. Funny how logic works.

[R&OC 371]

22 minutes ago, R&OC said:

Sorry this all happened to you.

 

First of all, and take my advice or leave it - don't focus on the things that you have no control over anyway. As for your mail - yes, this is unfortunate but give up the fight.

 

Secondly, if I were you - I would focus on your divorce. For one, he may have to cover your lawyers expenses because you have no assets. I have a few friends that earn more or were the sole breadwinners and covered their spouses lawyer fees. Thirdly, a proper divorce is necessary as you want to make sure your financial obligations (such as hospital bill, or any other bill in your name) will not cause a negative impact for you in the future. And from my perspective, the bill should be covered by him if you did not earn any income.

 

All I am trying to say is, try to get a divorce lawyer (hopefully paid by your spouse) and ask for a minimum of spousal support (aka financial help to restart your life back in Europe). Based on the short period of time your marriage lasted, I wouldn't expect too much but perhaps some sort of help with the return flight and starting your life over again.

 I don't see any grounds for VAWA either. Unless there was emotional abuse or physical one but the current posts do not suggest that. He just seems to have a really **** character.

Edited January 9, 2019 by Ontarkie
edited for language

[Illiria 980]

8 minutes ago, Kiolas said:

so much negativity and are so judgmental against women, without any compassion towards women who experienced cruelty and abuse by men. People, be kind to each other!

You assumed her loss was at his hands, this demeans her loss and the loss of other women who have gone through a similar loss. To have a loss like this implied that it is your or the fathers fault with no evidence is devastating (I know because this was implied of my losses) you are being judgmental and negative to those who must mourn the loss of their child and the future they were looking forward to.

 

It is not a tool to use in order to apply for VAWA and those who have truly been affected by abuse no matter their gender are undermined by frivolous VAWA applications holding up the process and causing people to have a dim view of the process.

 

I am in awe at the strength of abuse survivors and wish those that have been abused be helped as much as possible but I recognize that we must have a sensible and constrained set of variables that a VAWA case can be brought and cheating and a miscarriage not due to the actions of the spouse are not out of the realm of normal marital issues. 

[coloradoman 32]

3 hours ago, Kiolas said:

Hello @Katerina Hall

I was very upset to read that your husband betrayed you and filed for divorce. 

 

First of all, I totally understand you want your document back. But I am not sure how you can get it back if he doesn't want to give it to you. If you were here, in the U.S., you could file a police report with e-mail as a proof that he has your work permit.

 

You can try to get a tourist visa but considering your particular case it may be problematic. But at least, you have a chance to try to apply for it and see what happens. 

 

In addition, you may be eligible for spousal support and to try to get something from his assets. You deserve it because he did a bad thing to you - a miscarriage. It is his fault and he has to pay for it.

It's his fault that she miscarried??? And she may be entitled to some of his assets and spousal support, after only a few months of marriage???

 

I'm all for helping people that are in a dire situation, but your post is simply ludicrous. 

[bestluck 71]

2 hours ago, Kiolas said:

@Katerina Hall I was searching for solution to your situation. Considering horrible things that your husband did to you, you may be eligible for VAWA (Violence Against Women Act) - have you heard about it?

 

You may apply for it even from another country. You can search this forum about VAWA. There is info on USCIS web-site https://www.uscis.gov/humanitarian/battered-spouse-children-parents#process

I would like to said that you don't know whole story between husband and wife so please do not said that your husband did horrible things to you , between she can replay for visitor visa if she got approved by embassy she can visit us if not them she need to find other way to get her mail from her  husband now 

Edited January 9, 2019 by bestluck

[aaron2020 11,651]

The ignorance level is high today.

 

There is nothing to indicate a violation of the VAWA.  Nothing.  She did not say he caused the miscarriage.  She did not say anything about verbal or physical abuse.  Nothing.  

 

No judge is going to order spousal support for a short marriage.  How much assets did they accumulate during the 5 months of marriage?  Sure, you all stashed away lots of money from the last 5 months.  It doesn't work that way.  Stop watching law shows on TV.

 

Divorce and move on.  

[coloradoman 32]

3 minutes ago, aaron2020 said:

The ignorance level is high today.

 

There is nothing to indicate a violation of the VAWA.  Nothing.  She did not say he caused the miscarriage.  She did not say anything about verbal or physical abuse.  Nothing.  

 

No judge is going to order spousal support for a short marriage.  How much assets did they accumulate during the 5 months of marriage?  Sure, you all stashed away lots of money from the last 5 months.  It doesn't work that way.  Stop watching law shows on TV.

 

Divorce and move on.  

100% agreed.

 

And just to add: OP entered U.S. via Esta, without permission to work. How on earth would someone without a legal means to work, in a U.S. court of law, claim that the marriage threw her back in her career, in order to get spousal support??? And as for the assets, OP even mentioned a $4K hospital bill, which would be subject to division as well.

 

OP, save your money to try for a visitor visa. File this under life experience and don't lower yourself to making false claims and trying to ruin your ex's life. It didn't work out. Europe is nice too. And your chances of ever setting foot on U.S. soil are very slim.

[aaron2020 11,651]

3 hours ago, Kiolas said:

In addition, you may be eligible for spousal support and to try to get something from his assets. You deserve it because he did a bad thing to you - a miscarriage. It is his fault and he has to pay for it.

How is the miscarriage his fault?  He did a bad thing to her - a miscarriage?  How?  

[Illiria 980]

7 minutes ago, coloradoman said:

And as for the assets, OP even mentioned a $4K hospital bill, which would be subject to division as well.

He most like was the guarantor for the hospital bill anyway so they will go for him when they can’t find her. She could check on it by contacting the finance dept at the hospital she was treated at. 

[gregcrs2 1,778]

This thing about the mail is crazy.  Since OP has friends in the US, a change of address to the post office could easily have been done.  OP could have gotten her mail forwarded to one of her friends.  

[Ontarkie 14,234]

~~The OP has been given all the answers members can offer at this time.  As the thread is derailing it is now locked.~~