Relocation blues

[TBoneTX 45,497]

"I love your accent" is a good conversation-starter.

Perhaps say, "I'm from England.  Where* are you from?"

 

*If you want to start a humorous exchange with the intelligent, say "Where in the Colonies are you from?"

 

This is a great way to have a pleasant chat at the least, and (better) to make friends, future employment contacts, or whatever your fertile brain desires.

 

Or, reply, "Can you guess where I'm from?"

If they guess "England," ask, "And what part / what city?"

Then you can explain that England has regional dialects just as the U.S. does.

 

If they guess "Australia," say, "Close -- I'm from England."

 

Have some fun with it!  Be playful.  Let loose with your sense of humo(u)r.

[Mez274 57]

Im in england at the moment- actually have my interview on wednesday for my k1- then leaving in like 2 weeks hopefully- but wow- i knwew id feel homesick and everything but reading that it stays with you even after years - thats scaryy. Its strange how when your here you take everything around you for granted. I remember coming back from visiting my fiance for 3 months- i felt so much joy on my bus ride home- just seeing the streets filled with my people 😭 the little things i suppose ill miss the most. Its so strange how you wait so long to actually get the visa and its like "you may not enter" and then you get there and it can take like 2 years to be able to leave and its like "you may not leave or else you may not be able to enter again 😭 " thatll be so hard- feeling homesick and not even knowing when you can go back to where you know. For me my fiance is home, but england will always be home too. I also love the country my parents are from and have a house there - thats also my home- i suppose im one of those "children of the globe" type people. Anywhoo , i love this forum , all of you like minded people we all have mutual understandings and i feel like it would be so perfect to find a friend who lives nearby to you from here hahaha. It gives me comfort knowing im not alone and knowing that people at different stages of this lifelong process are just one click away. Sometimes i find you feel like the luckiest person ever to have found someone who lives in a completely different place because its so cool and you get to almost have the best of both worlds but sometimes i feel like its difficult - and you feel like you wish your other half had lived closer to home, but then they wouldn'tbe the awesome person they are - ha! Anyway thanks for reading my ramble if anyone is still reading

[Joyoussinger 1,425]

2 hours ago, Mez274 said:

Im in england at the moment- actually have my interview on wednesday for my k1- then leaving in like 2 weeks hopefully- but wow- i knwew id feel homesick and everything but reading that it stays with you even after years - thats scaryy. Its strange how when your here you take everything around you for granted. I remember coming back from visiting my fiance for 3 months- i felt so much joy on my bus ride home- just seeing the streets filled with my people 😭 the little things i suppose ill miss the most. Its so strange how you wait so long to actually get the visa and its like "you may not enter" and then you get there and it can take like 2 years to be able to leave and its like "you may not leave or else you may not be able to enter again 😭 " thatll be so hard- feeling homesick and not even knowing when you can go back to where you know. For me my fiance is home, but england will always be home too. I also love the country my parents are from and have a house there - thats also my home- i suppose im one of those "children of the globe" type people. Anywhoo , i love this forum , all of you like minded people we all have mutual understandings and i feel like it would be so perfect to find a friend who lives nearby to you from here hahaha. It gives me comfort knowing im not alone and knowing that people at different stages of this lifelong process are just one click away. Sometimes i find you feel like the luckiest person ever to have found someone who lives in a completely different place because its so cool and you get to almost have the best of both worlds but sometimes i feel like its difficult - and you feel like you wish your other half had lived closer to home, but then they wouldn'tbe the awesome person they are - ha! Anyway thanks for reading my ramble if anyone is still reading

I appreciate your ramble and did read it to the end 😊  I am the petitioner, and worry that my fiance will have the same feelings you are afraid of and I'm doing whatever I can to make him feel like he belongs here. I don't know how a person can leave their homeland easily. I guess, it takes great love and I know we are lucky to have found it.  I hope that you find, in your new home, that it's the place you never knew you dreamed of. Best of luck with your interview! Please, keep us posted! 

[TBoneTX 45,497]

For perspective, here's a "down-the-road" scenario.  When Mrs. T-B. got her AP/green card, she was wild to go back to visit Ecu, and she booked a 7-week trip.  After about the second week, she called me and asked, rather mournfully, if she could come home early.

 

She apparently discovered that everything wasn't quite the same any longer:  her friends were glad to see her, but they'd moved on with their lives; the infrastructure was inferior in comparison with what she was becoming used to in the U.S.; etc. Of course, England isn't a third-world country, but one might encounter somewhat the same no matter where one is from.

Edited December 31, 2018 by TBoneTX

[Charles_n_Grace 24]

Some things that my wife is struggling with:

 

America is a car culture. She is accustomed to seeing lots of people. Now, all she sees is cars.  Everything is spaced out in the USA because we just hop in the car to go to the next store. She can’t wave down a trike and ride anywhere in town for 8 pesos. Until she can get a license, she’s dependent on me to take her places. 

 

Luckily, she has her 2 daughters with her. I have great internet so they video chat with family in the night.

 

I’ve seen how homesick she’s been and it shows me the depth of her love that she hasn’t asked to go back. 

[icanbenobody 187]

15 hours ago, Charles_n_Grace said:

Some things that my wife is struggling with:

 

America is a car culture. She is accustomed to seeing lots of people. Now, all she sees is cars.  Everything is spaced out in the USA because we just hop in the car to go to the next store. She can’t wave down a trike and ride anywhere in town for 8 pesos. Until she can get a license, she’s dependent on me to take her places. 

 

Luckily, she has her 2 daughters with her. I have great internet so they video chat with family in the night.

 

I’ve seen how homesick she’s been and it shows me the depth of her love that she hasn’t asked to go back. 

She could use uber .. when me and my daughter wants to go somewhere uber is our other option for a ride ..specially when husband was out of town uber is also my everyday life saver to take my kiddo to school😉

 

Homesick is no kidding i felt it this Christmas i thought im strong but i had to spend hours talking with my family 😂

Edited December 31, 2018 by icanbenobody

[Charles_n_Grace 24]

2 hours ago, icanbenobody said:

She could use uber .. when me and my daughter wants to go somewhere uber is our other option for a ride ..specially when husband was out of town uber is also my everyday life saver to take my kiddo to school😉

 

Homesick is no kidding i felt it this Christmas i thought im strong but i had to spend hours talking with my family 😂

I really wish that was an option. I’m in a small town with no Uber drivers. 

[dentsflogged 352]

On 12/28/2018 at 7:18 PM, proudtobabritgirl said:

Thanks for all the comments. I do get that im probably just being a moody Malcolm. 

It probably is just the holidays. I have steered away from alcohol as I don't think it's a very good idea! 

Just constantly feel like it's on the tip of my tongue that I want to go home. I want to be with my husband though. So it's a hard decision. 

That's exactly how I've been feeling the last 2 days. We haven't been having a good few days (stress while buying a new house, paperwork for AOS and the holidays all at once) and given the temperatures outside I'm feeling really cabin-feverish.

[proudtobabritgirl 126]

I just wanted to update...

I have taken all your advice on board. Things seem much better now, I still have off days. Even when the smallest of things go wrong I will blame it on "moving to the USA". 

At work, I decided to count how many times a day I had a comment about my accent and I counted out of around 300 customers, about 200 commented on it. 

So I decided to just embrace it. Since then, I've met some very cool people and had some great conversations with strangers. It's boosted my confidence about living here. I even got talking to someone who gave me their business card and offered me a job. 

I've realised that I need to turn what I thought was negative situations, into positive ones and it seems to be working pretty well for now. People are just genuinely interested in why an English girl lives in a small town in California. To me, it's a huge city. But it's small town to them. I do get people mimicking me, someone tried to get me to say "this is bloody #######" but I just said "nahhhh your impression of it is good enough" haha. I have had some weird requests for saying things. But I just politely decline or make a joke out of there attempts at saying it. 

 

I am visiting England for two weeks next week so that helps also. 

Thanks for everyone's advice. This forum has helped me sooo much. 

[Wuozopo 4,293]

4 minutes ago, proudtobabritgirl said:

At work, I decided to count how many times a day I had a comment about my accent and I counted out of around 300 customers, about 200 commented on it. 

So I decided to just embrace it. Since then, I've met some very cool people and had some great conversations with strangers. It's boosted my confidence about living here. I even got talking to someone who gave me their business card and offered me a job. 

 

I'm one who said embrace it. Just yesterday at Starbucks two women in highway worker looking gear started asking where I was from and sharing what relative of theirs was from London. After a brief chat, I walked away with a business card for their business...they are tow truck drivers. I am suddenly hooked up if I ever need a tow 😂. I'll add them to the interesting lot i encounter because of the accent including the woman who encouraged my wife and I to join the German club downtown. She's not German either but said they were a really fun group. 🤷‍♂️

[TBoneTX 45,497]

Good for you!  You exemplify how no one can control or take away our attitude unless we let them.

Edited January 3, 2019 by TBoneTX

[LukeU 413]

On 12/28/2018 at 6:47 PM, proudtobabritgirl said:

So I've been here six weeks and the relocation blues has just hit me pretty damn hard. I didn't expect it to hit me so soon. For the past few days I just feel terrible. I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb here. Everyone comments on my accent and I just feel uncomfortable 

Any tips from people who have felt this way? 

 

I'm not quite in the same boat as of yet because we're awaiting our case number at the NVC but I've just returned from a 2 week trip over Christmas and New Years but it wasn't a holiday it was just to spend time together and do the normal things that couples do. Go to work, have lunch, all that stuff. 

 

I think there was 2-3 stores I went in when speaking to people in the city who when speaking to me , who didn't come out with "You're not from around here are you?" or "Are you from England?" It was a joking point initially between us but then it does start to make you somewhat conscious that you're different. But by the end of the trip I was used to it. You can also use it to your advantage in certain scenarios. It's a thing that until you're in the big tourist towns/cities that we're going to go through at all times. 

 

The missing family etc and hitting you so soon (if this is involved also) is probably a blessing in its own way because it's come quick, it'll go and you'll have the time to get over it. 

[proudtobabritgirl 126]

Just to add, but off topic, I am visiting England in two days time. It's just a short visit. Do I just need to take my passport and green card to get back into the USA? Haha 

[TBoneTX 45,497]

Take both.

[LukeU 413]

On 12/31/2018 at 1:33 AM, TBoneTX said:

For perspective, here's a "down-the-road" scenario.  When Mrs. T-B. got her AP/green card, she was wild to go back to visit Ecu, and she booked a 7-week trip.  After about the second week, she called me and asked, rather mournfully, if she could come home early.

 

She apparently discovered that everything wasn't quite the same any longer:  her friends were glad to see her, but they'd moved on with their lives; the infrastructure was inferior in comparison with what she was becoming used to in the U.S.; etc. Of course, England isn't a third-world country, but one might encounter somewhat the same no matter where one is from.

This strikes it right for me. I've done a number of trips now for varying lengths of time and I have to admit coming back 'home' this time actually felt more akin to leaving home and coming back to England. I've returned back to work now awaiting the point when I can book the medical but work, home life, friends etc it all feels different and I haven't even left properly yet.

 

The lifestyle although are slightly similar, at the same time, I find are completely different in my experiences. I'm much more comfortable across there (other than crossing the road, I can't grasp looking the other way first still!), but everything else from conversing with people, eating, driving, shopping (tax still confuses me) and the normal stuff I believe is much more suited stateside. 

Edited January 9, 2019 by LukeU