Worried (merged)

[NikLR 13,227]

37 minutes ago, CEE53147 said:

It sounds like this is a marriage of convenience or for an immigration benefit rather than a true marriage if you are complaining about paying for cable TV and other expenses that would normally be considered part of a family's obligations.

For an adult child's? I can see providing for his wife and any minor children, but the point of raising a child to adulthood is so they become a functioning member of society.  That means being able to pay their own bills and maybe not speeding so they don't GET speeding tickets. 

[Jaffakin 1]

1 hour ago, CEE53147 said:

It sounds like this is a marriage of convenience or for an immigration benefit rather than a true marriage if you are complaining about paying for cable TV and other expenses that would normally be considered part of a family's obligations.

Not for our cable tv for her children cable tv living in different town with his boyfriend 

[CEE53147 559]

OP seems to consider what he earns "his" and not the family's whether the "family" consists of wife alone or wife and children.  He was also complaining about his wife's expectations.  At the very least he should be contributing to a joint account for bills proportionately to his income.  Perhaps he should consider reimbursing his wife for the costs of his immigration processing since it came from "her" money.

 

It is much more difficult now for young people to get started in life.  The costs of ordinary living expenses are huge compared to years ago.  Job pay less (adjusted for inflation) than in the past.  Many children live with or with the assistance of parents while getting started in life.  They will repay their parents when the parents are older and need the children's help.

[JFH 12,190]

Finances should always be discussed and agreed upon before marriage, not after the ceremony has taken place. 

[Jaffakin 1]

She spend all his money with her children and grandchildren, I have kids in Africa she knows , is almost 4months, I haven't send money to them for their living and school fees and she dont care but she want me to spend money with her grown up children. She have two cars , she gave one to me , she later give it to her daughter  and I bought my own car, her daughter came and take her other car and now she is using my car to work she dont buy gas too.

[Apple Bee 272]

8 hours ago, Paul & Mary said:

Sorry to  hear about your issues.  If you have a bona fide marriage then there was no fraud on your part.  She can't have you deported but I believe she can withdraw  the I-864 affidavit of support - but i doubt she was able to file it alone.   Do you know if there is a co sponsor?

 

Just curious, why do you doubt she was able to file alone?

[JFH 12,190]

30 minutes ago, Jaffakin said:

She spend all his money with her children and grandchildren, I have kids in Africa she knows , is almost 4months, I haven't send money to them for their living and school fees and she dont care but she want me to spend money with her grown up children. She have two cars , she gave one to me , she later give it to her daughter  and I bought my own car, her daughter came and take her other car and now she is using my car to work she dont buy gas too.

Hide your car keys. 

[Daisy.Chain 317]

58 minutes ago, CEE53147 said:

OP seems to consider what he earns "his" and not the family's whether the "family" consists of wife alone or wife and children.  He was also complaining about his wife's expectations.  At the very least he should be contributing to a joint account for bills proportionately to his income.  Perhaps he should consider reimbursing his wife for the costs of his immigration processing since it came from "her" money.

 

It is much more difficult now for young people to get started in life.  The costs of ordinary living expenses are huge compared to years ago.  Job pay less (adjusted for inflation) than in the past.  Many children live with or with the assistance of parents while getting started in life.  They will repay their parents when the parents are older and need the children's help.

I wouldn't consider speeding tickets and cable tv an ordinary living expense.

[Boiler 45,564]

8 hours ago, geowrian said:

Only the US government can deport somebody.

Unless there is documented evidence of immigration fraud, she can't do anything.

Everything else is relationship advice.

[Daisy.Chain 317]

Could you sit down with your wife - maybe with a counselor or mediator- and have a conversation about expectations regarding money? You have two different perspectives about it abd maybe if you made a plan or budget to stick to (x% of my income will go here etc) some of this would clear up.

[Newuser4453454 79]

1 hour ago, Daisy.Chain said:

Could you sit down with your wife - maybe with a counselor or mediator- and have a conversation about expectations regarding money? You have two different perspectives about it abd maybe if you made a plan or budget to stick to (x% of my income will go here etc) some of this would clear up.

I kind of think they're a bit past this phase if any reluctance to pay results in threats of deportation.

[David & Diana R 1,005]

10 hours ago, Jaffakin said:

Hello vj members. 

I'm marriage to Africa America 3 years ago and she fill for me to join her, my IR visa approved and now im with her in America 8months ago, within 120 days I got my green card.. expired in 10 years time. Whenever I got paid from my work she and her children will borrow me money and they won't pay me back. Now when they asked of money and I dont  give to them.. she told me she will deport me to Ghana and I'm worried.  So I'm sharing my problem here. Please is it possible for her to deport me while I'm having my 10 years green card. Please those who  have experience about this issues should share with me. Thank you 

I have seen this before.  An immigrant comes to the USA and thinks money falls from trees. He or she thinks the money they make is their "own" money.  Are you paying half of the bills?  I wonder because you say "SHE" wants to borrow money.  You and your wife should have joint bank account where both of your paychecks are deposited.

[NYCruiser 423]

10 hours ago, Paul & Mary said:

Sorry to  hear about your issues.  If you have a bona fide marriage then there was no fraud on your part.  She can't have you deported but I believe she can withdraw  the I-864 affidavit of support - but i doubt she was able to file it alone.   Do you know if there is a co sponsor?

 

Ultimately you need to decide to stay with this woman and her kids. You can return to Ghana or move out and support yourself. 

 

If you don;t feel safe there are options for help.  Don't stay in an unsafe situation.

This is wrong information. You have got your 10 Year Green Card so NO she cannot withdraw the Affidavit of Support nor can she get you deported. While we do not know the circumstances of your marriage, there is nothing she can do to remove you from America. The only exception is your marriage was entered into with Fraud....was it? If she has evidence of this then she can report you to USCIS/ICE. Otherwise no

[Ontarkie 14,234]

2 hours ago, Jaffakin said:

She spend all his money with her children and grandchildren, I have kids in Africa she knows , is almost 4months, I haven't send money to them for their living and school fees and she dont care but she want me to spend money with her grown up children. She have two cars , she gave one to me , she later give it to her daughter  and I bought my own car, her daughter came and take her other car and now she is using my car to work she dont buy gas too.

Since you have your own bank account. It is time to cut them off. Adult children from time to time may need help, if they can't pay their cable then they don't need cable. They should learn not to speed so they won't have ticket.

 Your wife is being an enabler I would tell her straight that she cannot deport you and you will no longer give money to her kids. 

[Ontarkie 14,234]

5 minutes ago, David & Zoila said:

I have seen this before.  An immigrant comes to the USA and thinks money falls from trees. He or she thinks the money they make is their "own" money.  Are you paying half of the bills?  I wonder because you say "SHE" wants to borrow money.  You and your wife should have joint bank account where both of your paychecks are deposited.

Not really what is going on. The wife is funding adult children who have trouble with speeding tickets and paying their cable bill. All while driving the mothers car. He cannot even pay support to his own kids in Africa atm.