Problems before removing conditions

[eminemd12 2]

Hi all, I just sent out i757 to remove my conditions after my first two years of marriage. I received a confirmation text one week after the submission. I am expecting hopefully an extension soon. However, my wife and I had some problems and she is giving me hard time, while we argue a lot. I feel a little bit concerned about leaving her because I am in the middle of this process I assume is almost over. Can anybody tell me what shoud I do if I leave her, or If I do when I receive the extension? Thx 

[Georgia16 2,858]

If you guys divorce you can switch over to a divorce waiver. 

[Just Paul 4,595]

You can ask for a waiver and proceed on your own.  That is not a rare occurrence and you still do it on your own.

 

Edit:   Since you filed the I-751 and haven't filed for divorce I believe you need to stay "Married" thru the process.  If your wife doesn't want to participate then you can get a waiver.

Edited December 21, 2018 by Paul & Mary

[Jeanne Adil 1,651]

you can leave anytime u want

but why not try to go  thru marriage consulling

at least talk to her and figure out what is best

only 2 years together and ready to throw out the marriage

 

she doesn't have to support the removal of conditions 

and you need a divorce to file the waiver / not going to happen fast

 

BTW i am sure if you argue a lot she thinks you are the one giving her a hard time/ it works both ways

why can't you just quit the fights and try getting along / life can really be good but only if you accept the good and bad in others

and try for happiness

[kris&me 572]

reading online about divorce in your state Rhode Island

 

Fault: impotency, 2) adultery, 3) extreme cruelty, 4) willful desertion by either of the parties, or for willful desertion for a shorter period of time at the discretion of the court, 5) continued drunkenness, 6) habitual use of drugs, 7) gross neglect, 8) cruel and inhuman treatment.

 

No Fault: 1) Irreconcilable differences that have caused a breakdown in the marriage or 2) living separate and apart without cohabitation for three years.

 

in no fault the Judge decides in if there are irreconcilable differences and can (at his discretion )  order both into therapy  or to foankly llow the 3 year living apart

very frankly 

if i was the judge i would make u go thru that as it seriously looks like you used the UCS for a visa

[dwheels76 5,468]

17 hours ago, zouhairbkr said:

Hi all, I just sent out i757 to remove my conditions after my first two years of marriage. I received a confirmation text one week after the submission. I am expecting hopefully an extension soon. However, my wife and I had some problems and she is giving me hard time, while we argue a lot. I feel a little bit concerned about leaving her because I am in the middle of this process I assume is almost over. Can anybody tell me what shoud I do if I leave her, or If I do when I receive the extension? Thx 

Ummm not over soon by a long shot. It's taking 15 to 17 months to get 10 year green card.

 

Getting your 10 year green card should have nothing to do with should you leave or stay. That's your choice.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

17 minutes ago, kris&me said:

 

in no fault the Judge decides in if there are irreconcilable differences and can (at his discretion )  order both into therapy  or to foankly llow the 3 year living apart

Do you have a citation for this? While I could see a judge using his or her discretion when it comes to property distribution, this seems... odd.

[Ontarkie 14,227]

~~Multiple post removed. Stick to answering the OP without judgement and other commentary or do not post.~~

~~Thread also moved to Effects of Major Family Changes, from ROC - as a more appropriate forum.~~

[Villanelle 4,122]

On 12/21/2018 at 4:07 PM, elmcitymaven said:

Do you have a citation for this? While I could see a judge using his or her discretion when it comes to property distribution, this seems... odd.

a simple google of divorce laws + state will provide answers.

 

Many states have strict divorce policies. Some require mandatory separation periods, some do not. 

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

17 hours ago, Damara said:

a simple google of divorce laws + state will provide answers.

 

Many states have strict divorce policies. Some require mandatory separation periods, some do not. 

Yes, I do know about waiting periods for both eligibility to file in a particular jurisdiction, and for a divorce to become final. Here in California, for example, spouses who are parties to a summary dissolution of marriage – essentially, an uncontested and collaborative dissolution proceeding available where the spouses have few or no joint assets or debts and have been married for fewer than five years – must wait six months after submitting their judgment paperwork to get the final decree. In Rhode Island, the only requirement for a no-fault divorce is that at least one of the spouses has lived in the state for a year. 

The questions I have are relating to a judge ordering the parties to therapy before he or she will agree to enter judgment, and the imposition of a three year waiting period notwithstanding the spouses filing under the “no-fault” statute (2013 G.L. § 15-5-3.1). Before asking my question of the OP, I reviewed the Rhode Island statutes relating to divorce to determine if a judge in family court has the discretion to make such orders. I also skimmed articles written by several Rhode Island divorce attorneys. Afterwards, I also read a fairly recent law review article (available here: http://rogerwilliamslawreview.org/files/2014/10/Kruger.pdf) on the role of fault in “no-fault” divorce in Rhode Island. I couldn’t find anything about ordering spouses to therapy, or a judge being able to compel the parties to file under the 3-year separation statute (2013 G.L. § 15-5-3) when they are otherwise eligible to file for a no-fault divorce.

 

While family courts are courts of equity, including Rhode Island, and courts of equity have broader authority in general than courts of law to use discretion to resolve matters in order to achieve something like equality between the parties, an order making the entry of judgment contingent upon therapy a little arbitrary and capricious. For example, what makes a successful outcome of therapy? Is it the mere attendance at, say, six sessions regardless of the parties’ engagement in the sessions? Is it a therapist pronouncing the parties have resolved their marital differences, even if the sessions should take 20 years to get there? What does success look like, and would that success be the same for every judge?

 

Although ordering spouses to mediation as a contingency for the entry of judgment is to be expected in contested divorces, mediation is usually to iron out issues like spousal and child support and the distribution of assets. It’s not to make these people try to resolve their marital differences, but rather their differences relating to their post-marital lives. Further, it is not uncommon in divorce proceedings that the court will bifurcate the matter, so that the issue of dissolution can be resolved before the distribution is, since most divorcing spouses just want to get on with their lives, even if the money isn’t completely worked out yet. Compelling the parties to remain married when they are eligible to have their marriage dissolved is contrary (thankfully) to the availability of no-fault statutes, and smacks of the kind of paternalism that such statutes are intended to remove from the judicial system. 

 

TL/DR: I read around in the area and found no reference to RI courts having the discretion to make a final judgment contingent upon therapy or a three-year separation when the parties are otherwise eligible for a no-fault divorce. I would love to see a reference because it seems pretty out there! 

[Villanelle 4,122]

https://www.susantperkins.com/is-marriage-counseling-required-before-getting-a-divorce/

 

Its rare but a judge can order it. How long/ how many sessions? No idea. Apparently if one person requests it and/or the judge thinks theres a chance of reconciliation it can be ordered. However if it is and they both attend and one spouse tells the therapist they have zero interest in fixing the marriage I believe the therapist will report that back to the court and it will be over very quickly. Therapists do not waste their time with people who clearly state they dont want help in relationship type counseling. And I also do not think if the one party states clearly in court they do not want therapy (even if the other does) that the judge would waste everyones time forcing them to go just to tell the therapist the same thing- they are not interested in fixing the marriage.