Where can I get my brains washed

[Fandango 1,439]

yal be losin' em noo lass !

My German teacher asked me what 'taluv' meant - she got it every day and had looked it up in the dictionary..

I told her it was a Viking hangover as modern Danish is tak for thankyou and love means love which is what you get called all day as you know...

I bet you got 'chucky' a lot too -

Yes I can understand people being a bit wary when confronted by the descendants of the vikings - we do tend to crash onto the beach without asking still...

and 'gang ta liggadoon' of course is 'gone to lay her down' (modern german liegen ) to lay down

oh dear I can't imagine the sticking power it must have taken for an American to grapple with that lot

you did very well

Germans fit in very easily in Yorkshire because the hard language is very close to theirs.

I met a german lady lady in Bradford and she turned to her husband at closing time and said

and said .........'eyup stir thysen - look sharp'

it was hilarious...

lol...only heard chuck out of one lady's mouth, but I wouldn't call her a 'lady' lol...very much a 'pint of lager' woman if ya know what I mean.

I have been known to have a deep affinity for the pub fruit machine (from time to time) ...so once, D bought me one for our house. It was a ship/pirate theme and I swear even to this day, when you got on the top board, the voice said 'why aye'

Edited May 23, 2007 by LisaD

[homesick_american 1]

There ARE people in York who are nice to me; the people I worked with were, for the most part, very nice...but for me the negatives outweigh the positives and though people here can be superficially friendly, I've found it almost impossible to make friends here. Most of my friends in the UK have been fellow foreigners, and for the last couple of years I haven't even put forth the effort to try to make friends with people.

I have to say that I'm a little saddened by this. As a resident of York for four years, I'd like to think it was a pretty friendly place - friendlier than some parts of the Yorkshire Dales! In fact, if I was to consider anywhere my home, it would probably be York. To be fair, most of my friends were from the university. Perhaps the very fact that such a proportion of York residents ARE students makes it a little more cosmopolitan, and hopefully a little less forbidding to "outsiders".

That said, some of the "locals" could be pretty hostile to students. But the students usually asked for it. I always considered myself a little above this, however, as I was born and brought up in Yorkshire...

Its been said before - everyone's experience is different.

Yorkies can be hostile to outsiders, that's for sure. Of course there are kind and courteous people here, but it has taken some people on our street years to warm up to me. Literally! I don't even know their names, but we've progressed from stares to cold nods to 'hiyas' to actual brief conversations. Personally I don't want to live anywhere where people take five years to accept you enough to speak to you.

I think maybe another reason I've found it hard to make friends is the majority of British women my age that I've met have fun in only one way, i.e. going out and getting pissed. I can't think of anything more DULL, personally. I outgrew clubbing and throwing drinks down my throat when I was at uni and I'm 31 years old now. I'd much rather just have lunch with my friends in a quiet cafe or see a movie together, but apparently that is not the done thing. It's a big cultural difference, and I have tried going out on a weekend with people. All I got was vomit on my shoes, my watch stolen, stuck with the taxi fare after waiting for an hour to find a cabbie willing to chance four drunk passengers accompanied by one sober one, and a throbbing headache. Heh...never again! :lol:

Every time I thought I'd made a friend, something bizarre would happen to sour the deal. I thought I'd made a friend so I called her up and asked her if she'd like to bring her husband round for dinner one night that week. She said she'd just gotten back from a vacation and needed to spend time with her cat, who apparently had sorely missed her. I tried a couple more times with her but it was always stupid excuses like that. One night she needed to clean her oven. Another, she had piles of washing up to do. Etc, etc, etc. It sounded lame and contrived, so I gave up. Another time, I thought...finally...I'd met a level-headed, nice woman to be friends with. She comes to a barbecue brimming with Mexicans, Chileans, and Australians...and rolls a joint in my backyard. I asked her to please not smoke marijuana, primarily because it's illegal but also because there were small children and a pregnant woman present and I'm sure they would not be pleased by wafting doobie smoke. Another time when I called her up, she asked me where she could 'score' some resin. I went to a party once for a friend of a friend, and it was anti-Americanism, hard liquor, and recreational drugs as far as the eye could see.

Another time, I was invited to a small get-together by a woman at work...it was at her house and it was just her and her friends getting together for some nibbles, wine, and gossip. I had a great time, but I was never invited to another one. They were friendly enough to me at work, but we never saw one another socially again. I'm still wondering why I was excluded. I used to reach out to people, but after having my hand slapped away so many times I just don't bother anymore. It's not so bad in the USA because since I'm American, I can read Americans better than I can British people. I know when a Texan is just making a polite but insincere offer to 'get together sometime', and I know when someone genuinely wants to develop a friendship. I just can't read British people, not at all. If I haven't figured them out after all this time, it's not likely that I ever will and I've given up trying.

[arwensun1965 0]

HA

The reason why people have not warmed to you is purely because you are an ignorant American who is nasty through and through. YOU still do not get it, it is YOU that is the problem. Sheeese talk about thick.

[Fandango 1,439]

HA that sounds terrible, and it was their loss!

[homesick_american 1]

HA that sounds terrible, and it was their loss!

Yeah, I'm still kind of confused. They were so friendly, then all of a sudden they weren't.

[Fandango 1,439]

HA that sounds terrible, and it was their loss!

Yeah, I'm still kind of confused. They were so friendly, then all of a sudden they weren't.

biotches, that's what they were.

I woulda hung out with you whenever I went to York!

[homesick_american 1]

HA that sounds terrible, and it was their loss!

Yeah, I'm still kind of confused. They were so friendly, then all of a sudden they weren't.

biotches, that's what they were.

I woulda hung out with you whenever I went to York!

Awww, fanks.

You wouldn't believe the latest friend fiasco. It's actually very bizarre. A co-worker of mine invited my husband and I round to play board games; I was of course the only female and it was extraordinarily geeky, but I sort of enjoyed it. The group has splintered because one man in the group confessed to his psychiatrist that he was having lusty thoughts about another member's 11 year-old daughter. :blink:

Maybe I'm cursed.

[Ban Hammer 13,348]

HA

The reason why people have not warmed to you is purely because you are an ignorant American who is nasty through and through. YOU still do not get it, it is YOU that is the problem. Sheeese talk about thick.

[tmma 467]

HA

The reason why people have not warmed to you is purely because you are an ignorant American who is nasty through and through. YOU still do not get it, it is YOU that is the problem. Sheeese talk about thick.

What the heck is THIS about?

[Fandango 1,439]

I do think that HA came in guns blazing and alienated people with the anti-Brit stuff, much like SW came in yesterday with the anti-American. When SW was winding everyone up, I thought 'if that's the sentiment she's been barraged with, then I can somewhat understand getting fed up with it'

[MichelleandCraig 1]

Alan, I've only gotten to page 4 so far, but I just had to stop and say....you are SUCH an absolute git! but you are totally cracking me up!!!! :lol: Thanks... and nah...we're not ALL like that in WI... M.

[MichelleandCraig 1]

I'm so ashamed...I'm listening to Mungo Jerry and enjoying it. I've been in England for too long.

Showing your age HA - have a drink have a drive - go out and see what you can find...

those were the days before PC- 8 pints and drive home steady

only Heather Mccartney can drive while she's legless now...

omG I actually lold at that

it's so bad

Omg, so did I. and that IS awful!!!!!

[MichelleandCraig 1]

Oh my, I read the whole bloody thread and all I can say is wow, people have taken this way way to seriously.

Alan to be honest you know how to splat the toes

I did not cope very well in America, Jon and I have had a lot to talk about and we have smoothed things over, I am not going back because I love America, I am going back because I LOVE MY HUSBAND very much, we have promised each other to be more tolerant to each other's way. The thing to remember is that you are kinda right, American's do not like constructive criticism, the best way to cope with this is to think really really hard before answering or just to not say anything at all. Yes I know this is hard to do, I find it hard to do and yes sometimes my mouth opens before I put the brain into gear. You have to remember that it is you who is moving country, not because you want to but because you love your Wife and want to be with her, do not worry what the outside world is thinking just what she thinks, you will be better off for it.

Janice

Janice - you are the first person i have put in my friends list this year. I actually posted in the in the UK section as I wanted some UK people perspective but I was deluged by yanquis who tried to combine to splat the invader - bit like ants when you disturb their nest.

Actually some of them are basically nice I'm nice. like you and me and many others are neutralish really. I found it a rewarding experience overall. I even ended up liking the bouncer guy - I don't think he should define himself 'just' as a 'bouncer' - unless his mother was standing up when she gave birth.

One in particular gave me nightmares last night - I reckon she is a one trick pony though and has no other form of attack other than telling a man he is not really a man and has small bits and bobs and is frightened and insecure and impotent and is ten a penny- we all know women who deploy that and devastate men with less self assurance than I. I am not saying it didn't hurt because I am not thick skinned - but I have seen some women deploy that over the years and once they have used it, they have nothing left in their armoury - and I am going to give her both barrels if she slithers in again. (so far I have only used my tickling stick)

As a UK person who is honest enough to say that your relationship wasn't always easy, Oh MY, Alan! I have learned to not get into details on VJ (as is right and correct) but if THIS is all you needed to hear, I could have said that first! Craig has been here about 2 1/2 years now, and it's only been in the last six months that things have been great! We have always been in love, yes...but sometimes there can be a GREAT many problems due to cultural differences, not matter HOW much love there is! We had our days where his bags were packed and/or one of us had to leave for a little while to relieve that head of steam we had built up! Our relationship was NOT always easy, and probably will never be ALWAYS easy...I try not to use absolutes too!...the important thing is that we both cared enough to stick it out..and we're glad we did. I value your input on this. America is very foreign despite what the Americans say - a superficial person might not even see the difference - and my friend who has lived there 12 years and who is nominated to receive my green card told me that he is a very shallow person, and knows it, and thats why the US is perfect for him. Now don't get riled you Americans - it's my friend who is shallow - not America - what he is saying is that if you are a sensitive person who feels wobbly until they totally understand the environment they have dropped themselves into, then it's a difficult transition.

When I am in a muggy, flat Florida with American laThen ger beer - I will dream of Ilkley moor and Western Scotland and ask myself why I am there. I will count my blessings - as you say - knowing my spouse is happier there Yes, I firmly believe (as do most here I think) that that is why pretty much every UKer is here..not because America is in any way better or this that and the other is great about America. I know that myself, and I'm the USC! In many ways, I would absolutely LOVE, love, LOVE to live in England..and maybe we will one day...but for now, Craig knows I am happier here, and so he has made that sacrifice..and I'm so grateful...because I know he's not here because he prefers it. He's finally to the point that he's just as ok with being here as he is England..or so he says..and his manner would make that appear so...but it's been a rough road getting there, and there will always be things he misses of course. - and also all the toys and wooden chicken sheds (houses) I can buy in the US with their half priced dollars. Then I will see the thing as a whole and be reassured that I have made the right decision...

I can't take on a continent of people and change their mindset on my own, but perhaps I can put a different perspective to a handful of thinking people there - and they might pass that on - christianity started like that and so did communism - and so did AIDS come to think of it.......oops I am wandering again

I am sure that a lot of the argy bargy that Carolyn and I had was culture based - she can be very loud - and Americans are - and we see that as aggression. She comes home from work and says she can't understand her co-workers because they 'speak so quietly'. So there is one difference and there are hundreds ! Yep, me too! We have had issues with that...but you know...I am willing to try to change a lot of things if they really bothered Craig (and there aren't many!) but I am absolutely unwilling to change my personality for anyone, including him. He fell in love with my outgoing personality, and that's who I am...so that has taken some getting used to for the both of us! ...but we're good with it now that I have learned to accept that if HIS personality isn't the cookie-cutter image I thought it was initially...that that's alright as well. I love him just the way he is!

Sometimes she tells me to 'shut my yap' which apparently is not that offensive in Wisconsin but is fighting talk in the UK.. a bit like going to Tenerife and saying 'your mother' to a Canarian

So despite what our yanquis say on here, the cultural differences are many - they might not seem huge, but in the domestic setting they can be a problem and relationships are hard enough anyway Totally agreed...and when you get "used to" (for lack of better words) one another's little habits, it becomes easier...and not so "hard," but there are a great many cultural difference, yes....not large, LARGE differences, but more of them.- but, like Florida, we have to see it in the round and look to the other positives which other couples don't have.

alan

I bolded you, and commented in blue after yours, obviously. M.

Edited May 24, 2007 by MichelleandCraig

[NealandCari 0]

Maybe if you make a few more VAST generalizations about 300 million people, judged on one persons experiences with Americans...

Yo welcome !

All of you had a flag in your classroom didn't you ? some generalizations are 100% accurate and some are true but are just generalisations...there is no smoke without fire and most stereotypes have a basis in truth

The US is a violent society (as a whole) - surely you don't want to say that isn't so ? I wouldnt be married to an American if I thought it was everybody - I am just saying a large proportion

This thread is how a foreigner should cope in the US without becoming cowed by what many people around the world see as a very strident and dominating national ethos which is very prickly about admitting any faults in America to 'a foreigner'

I want to be able to discuss American Government policy domestic and international without being shouted down or threatened - how can I do that ?

alan

First of all, as a USC, I didn't have a flag in all my classrooms. Come to think of it, I don't think there was one in any of my classrooms in high school. But I went to private school, so I guess I don't count in your 100% accurate generalization.

And second, I think it's unfair to say the US is a violent society as a whole. How do you mean violent? I have never been exposed to real violence first-hand that I can think of, and I am sure many people I know haven't either. I think the UK is just as violent if not more from the time I have spent living there.

Perhaps it's because I have grown up in a rather liberal community and have gone to liberal schools, but my experience has been very different from what you describe. Heck, most of my college picked faults with America all the time and spoke up about them, and everyone's still around to tell the tale.

[Oath 0]

As I said this thread needs punch and pie :