Devastated

[lanalexis 30]

I'm sorry everyone, it's just taking me time to deal with everything. It's overwhelming but I'm getting there. I spent the evening of my birthday on the phone with my lawyer- it seems to be a simple case. I should be able to be free of all of this by next summer!

[TBoneTX 45,259]

Let's hope that future birthdays are better.

Keep us apprised as events unfold.

[lanalexis 30]

On 12/16/2018 at 11:16 PM, TBoneTX said:

Let's hope that future birthdays are better.

Keep us apprised as events unfold.

Thanks! 

It looks like his I-131 approval letter arrived yesterday dated after he already left the country. From what I understand his denial letter for AOS and all other documents should be on the way. Meanwhile my annulment will be filed first thing in the morning! 

[TBoneTX 45,259]

Keep the faith.

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

From reading from the beginning of this thread, up until now, it comes across that you have a very good head on your shoulders and can be rational when it comes to taking care of business, particularly daunting business such as this. My heart goes out to you for having to experience it at all. A former best friend of mine, while not in an international marriage, found out after 5 years of marriage and a 4 year old son later that her husband was having gay sexual relationships during their marriage. I can't even imagine discovering something like that about your partner. As others have already said - it isn't about the sexual orientation, it's about the deception. Process and grunt work aside, it's a long emotional road ahead, I'm sure. But it seems you have taken some awesome strides at working towards a resolution to this, which is a very good thing.

 

I think I saw you mention having lost some friends along the way before now. I encourage you to reach out to those people now. I was in a mentally abusive relationship several years ago and lost every one of my friends because of him. When I finally left him, it was a very lonely feeling. You feel like you have no one to turn to. I wound up crossing paths with and reconnecting with some of those friends shortly after, and it was the best decision I could've ever made at that time. Most people who genuinely love and care about you will move past those sort of things and be there for you again, if you allow them to be.

 

Best of luck to you and your little one!!

[lanalexis 30]

I wanted to thank everyone for their support, it's been such a whirlwind for me and my family! I retained an attorney not long after this happened to begin my annulment, it was filed before Christmas  Definitely a nice gift to begin to move on with my life!! My ex's ESTA indicates he's longer eligible for the Visa Waiver program, and his interview was cancelled yesterday,  applications to adjust his status have been denied as of today! I have not received any paperwork acknowledging that my affidavits were withdrawn yet- but I will follow up, I know its complicated with the shutdown.  I'm glad I acted quickly, and the government did as well! I feel free of all of the stress and many issues I dealt with during the marriage, and I'm getting past the anger over the betrayal and taking time to pamper myself and enjoy life with my family and once the annulment is done I have plans to take several wonderful vacations around the world now that I have one less person to support financially

[TBoneTX 45,259]

You must feel wonderful!  This is great news.  Thanks for sharing it with us!

[EmilyW 1,434]

OP, from time to time we get people on VJ who are good souls hurt by bad decisions.  It's hard to see.

 

But when you see those good souls get through the bad times, come out the other end and start on a path that will get them the happiness they deserve, it makes me smile.

 

I hope that good times now find you. 🙂

[Smashy 155]

All the positive comments on this thread and the support is great! Ignore the quick to judge and harsh people and continue moving forward. All the best for you in 2019 Lana!

[lanalexis 30]

On 1/11/2019 at 6:14 AM, EmilyW said:

OP, from time to time we get people on VJ who are good souls hurt by bad decisions.  It's hard to see.

 

But when you see those good souls get through the bad times, come out the other end and start on a path that will get them the happiness they deserve, it makes me smile.

 

I hope that good times now find you. 🙂

Thanks I'm positive, and I believe in karma and I was fortunate that I caught this issue before my ex was granted a green card. This was bad enough, 

and its getting better each day. I  just can't wait for the judge to grant my annulment so that I can finally be free of all of this. All of the support is amazing,

and it's sad for me to be judged in this situation when all I did was open my heart to someone who I thought loved me. If he loved men he should have been 

honest and pursued a relationship with men. I was deceived on many levels, not just about his sexuality but religious beliefs, and everything he portrayed about his life and family as well. It's all sad, but these moments shouldn't define our lives. I'm happy that I have a good life and support of my family and friends. I'm slowly but surely repairing those connections that I lost because of this situation.