Devastated

[lanalexis 30]

My husband came here on a K-1 visa, we were married in June and I discovered that he's been looking for his first

gay experience. I'm very upset obviously, really he gave no explanation- this happened hours ago and I'm shaken to the core.

He's even left after police being called and so on. I gave this man all that I had and he didn't care. I wish I could go into more

details but I'm shaken. I want to know who I notify with USCIS and any recommendations for annulment attorneys in California 

if anyone can help. Currently, no interview has been held I saw online the USCIS was ready to schedule his interview- but no 

papers arrived. I'm so lost I lost friends and family because of him and I just have 1 friend. I'm sorry to be so emotional and 

scattered. I hope that i can find support here. 

[JFH 12,190]

This must be very upsetting for you. Why were the police called? Did he physically assault you? Threaten you? Damage property in a heated argument? If he has committed a crime then it’s possible that his visa journey has effectively ended.

 

You mentioned an annulment. Is that because you believe it will get him deported? Annulments are very difficult to obtain. Is he saying he doesn’t want to be married to you and this was all a sham marriage just to get into the USA or is he just curious as to what it might be like to be intimate with another man? I doubt you’ll get an annulment if he’s just wanting to try something different or experiment. But if he defrauded you that might be something else. 

 

We are all comfortable with different things when it comes to sexuality. If this is something you are not comfortable with then you should seek the advice of a divorce lawyer in your state. 

[Unshakable Faith 493]

I'm so sorry to hear this.   I have no information for annulments in California but I truly hope you can find peace and healing that you need. 

 

As far as USCIS goes, I'm assuming you've filed for AOS.   You can inform them that you are withdrawing the application and do not wish to proceed with AOS.   He has no legal path here without you.

[JFH 12,190]

*~*~*moved from “K-1 visa process and procedures” to “effects of major changes” where the impact of divorce on an immigrant’s status is often discussed*~*~*

[Moses Bee 276]

It's painful really , I wish you have all the solution you are looking for and I'm very so sorry for you.

[AnJay 137]

Sorry to hear this. In your situation I would withdraw the I-864, or whole AOS petition asap,  file for divorce and move on.

Good luck to you! 

Edited December 9, 2018 by AnJay
Misspelled word

[lanalexis 30]

If my husband is gay, it's obvious it was a sham. He literally acted like everything was fine then he gave no explanation when he was confronted and said I'll just go back to my (removed) country.  Unbelievable. 

I will get a lawyer and I will notify USCIS but does someone have a phone number or email. 

Edited December 9, 2018 by Ontarkie
bypassing language filter

[Villanelle 4,122]

@lanalexis I am sorry this happened. I understand you are very shaken but try to remember sexuality is not always black and white/gay or straight. There are countless categories. I was actually helping my kid fill out forms for dorm housing at a state school and they had a huge drop down list for gender and what you 'identify' as. It was crazy. 

 

There is no phone number besides the 800 one and a general email case status thing. Neither would help you. If he came on  K and you filed an AOS packet the only way to stop it is to send a letter with the info to the service center you mailed the packet to. If you didnt file yet theres nothing to cancel. He has legal status in the US until his K expires, if it hasnt already. If you did file and his K 90 days is up once they get and/or acknowledge your withdrawal request he will no longer have authorized stay status. 

 

Speak to an attny about how to end the marriage and send a letter to USCIS as soon as you can. (hugs)

[Boiler 45,449]

They were married in June, so the K1 is long over. OP needs a Divorce Lawyer.

[NYCruiser 423]

1 hour ago, lanalexis said:

My husband came here on a K-1 visa, we were married in June and I discovered that he's been looking for his first

gay experience. I'm very upset obviously, really he gave no explanation- this happened hours ago and I'm shaken to the core.

He's even left after police being called and so on. I gave this man all that I had and he didn't care. I wish I could go into more

details but I'm shaken. I want to know who I notify with USCIS and any recommendations for annulment attorneys in California 

if anyone can help. Currently, no interview has been held I saw online the USCIS was ready to schedule his interview- but no 

papers arrived. I'm so lost I lost friends and family because of him and I just have 1 friend. I'm sorry to be so emotional and 

scattered. I hope that i can find support here. 

As a gay man, I have my doubts that he was not gay to begin with or hid it from you. You have France as your country so it is not like it is an African or Arab country where they have to hide this. 

 

The suggestions to withdraw the AOS or the affidavit ASAP is a wise idea if you have already filed. He gets nowhere without you.

 

Hugs

David

[debbiedoo 2,339]

first of all, its not about him being gay, its about him not wanting to be with you. And if he is gay (and i dont know anyone who would lie about it) he needs to seek his own truth and happiness. Perhaps he knew before and was trying to live a "normal" life, perhaps it is a new understanding of himself. Regardless, he is seeking his own happiness now, and that really should be celebrated, as painful as it may be. Better to learn NOW, than 10 years and 3 kids down the road.

 

You can contact USCIS and withdraw the AOS and i864, and file for divorce. While you can not make him go back, it does remove his legal basis for staying.

 

I am so sorry

[TandSarahJane 178]

My heart goes out to you!

 

Not to be construed as legal advice, just relaying some unfortunate past personal experience:

 

California divorce can be challenging because it is a "community property" state. Like others have stated, and especially if you have assets, retain the best attorney you can find/afford. Once the divorce petition is filed, there is usually an automatic restraining order that requires anything jointly-held to be sustained - e.g. if you have a joint bank account then you cannot drain it, co-owned cars cannot be sold off, if you are carrying them on your insurance or as a beneficiary then you cannot terminate the coverage without a court notification/approval.  Handle your business first and fast, and then file.... The order is there to force civility.

 

Since you are under 1 year of marriage, a good attorney will work to ensure that your assets remain yours and are not divided 50/50. Hopefully this remains civil and "high road".  In my personal experience, if the other party has nothing to lose then they may take a low road. Expect the unexpected.

 

 

 

[Rusty72 68]

1 hour ago, debbiedoo said:

first of all, its not about him being gay, its about him not wanting to be with you. And if he is gay (and i dont know anyone who would lie about it) he needs to seek his own truth and happiness. Perhaps he knew before and was trying to live a "normal" life, perhaps it is a new understanding of himself. Regardless, he is seeking his own happiness now, and that really should be celebrated, as painful as it may be. Better to learn NOW, than 10 years and 3 kids down the road.

 

You can contact USCIS and withdraw the AOS and i864, and file for divorce. While you can not make him go back, it does remove his legal basis for staying.

 

I am so sorry

What he did to the woman should NOT be celebrated 

[debbiedoo 2,339]

7 minutes ago, Rusty72 said:

What he did to the woman should NOT be celebrated 

nowhere did i say that what he did to HER should be celebrated. THAT is a lousy thing. However, owning your own sexuality, and coming to terms with that, even if it means the end of another relationship, is something worthy of commendation. No one should be forced(or feel forced) to be with someone they dont want to be with. Given he was from France, where various sexualities are not uncommon, it is unlikely he moved here just because he was gay and was looking for a way to be able to be himself. If he were from certain countries where it is not permissible, then it would have been far more likely he was using her to get here.

 

We simply dont know his situation. My advice stands, and it sucks for her, but far better to end it NOW than, as i said, 10 years and 3 kids down the road.

[CJlove 147]

This is tough regardless... I’m so sorry. You must feel betrayed... Gosh... Only time will heal... 😢