To whom it may consern...

[JenT 0]

Springer! Springer! Oh wait sorry, I thought I was on a different web site forum for a moment

Another interloper. Careful, we might attract negative attention to this forum.

[Fandango 1,439]

you missed her point entirely.

No doubt because I am an awful, evil, misoginistic, self-centered, shallow, desperate, woman bashing, anti-feminist husband of a Russian woman, who could never find a fine, sensible, self-respecting American woman to come within 500 miles of him, let alone marry him!

Oh, great interlopers, thee of infinite wisdom of all things Russian, those who understand us more than we could possibly understand ourselves (and are more than happy to tell us so) and are here to save us from ourselves (rather than to provide yourselves with some perverted, pathetic sense of misplaced self-gratification, which of course is a preposterous idea), we humbly beg your forgiveness, and ask that you help save us from our ways! We are at your benevolent mercy!!

Cheers!

AKDiver

I think you need to work on whatever is at the root of whatever caused your projection here. Good luck! Stay strong!

Edited May 21, 2007 by LisaD

[JamesT 12]

The Russia forum is one of my Favorites, although I will say that it is clearly dominated by you guys with Russian Wives/Fiancees. That's ok. I enjoy reading, less so much of the Jerry Springer show, but nonetheless it is good reading.

Culturally, My Ukrainian Fiancee is about as close to being Russian as any out there. I think that many of us who are involved with Ukrainian Fiancee/Fiance's would certainly MUCH rather be grouped into this forum under a new guise of "FSU" as they (as well as other FSU countries) still have ties to "Mother Russia" and there are issues that arise where Russia is going to be involved in the topic : Police Certificates for example. I looked at the numbers of filers out there, and granted the number of Russians do out number the others country for country, the rest of us do add up to a number close to the Russians.

I guess what I am getting at is rather than feeling like an "interloper" why not open this up some...you know share the love.

Ok....I'm ready for lashes.

Don't worry Etripke, you're one of us! Ukrainians definitely belong in the same VJ subforum with Russians, as do Georgians and Belarussians. Those 4 (Russia, Belarus, Georgia, and Ukraine) should be together as one subforum.

[Fandango 1,439]

Nah, obviously it's fine if anyone and everyone wants to post in the Russian forum, but the point I was trying to make is someone who has experience with a Russian/American relationship would be much more knowledgeable about situations involving such relationships. Remember - not everyone in the world has the same personality type or cultural background.

The Galina story is a perfect example. 95% of the posters in VJ would read that, and immediately come to the conclusion that "Russ is this horrible, woman-beating, baby-killing excuse for a man", and never stop to think that maybe Galina's post is largely incorrect and grossly embellished.... But somebody who knows the personality and tendancies of some RW, and knows the history and bad (but true) stories about RW using AM only to get a green card would question the Galina post and not immediately take it for the gospel truth.

Well, I've probably said way too much, and gotten in way over my head, but anyway that's just my two sense. (Now I'll sit back and take my bashing like a man )

Russian/Am relationships don't follow a flow chart. Do they? The point is, no one knows the truth but Russ and Galina.

[JenT 0]

I've been inspired by this forum to change my avatar signature. Thanks everyone!!

[JamesT 12]

Springer! Springer! Oh wait sorry, I thought I was on a different web site forum for a moment

Actually the Springer Show anaolgy to this forum is quite a good one I unfortunately have to admit! That reminds me, I'd like to share a funny story about my ex-wife who also happens to be Russian, and it's very "Springer-esk"

I'll try to keep it fairly short. I met my ex-wife in Russia in 1997 with the help of a so-call "International Marriage Broker." In 1998 she came to America, and we got married. For the first almost 3 years, it was a very normal marriage, and we both genuinely loved each other very much. We have a son that we are both very proud of. She attended an I.T. technical school, graduated, and got a very good job as a computer technician that she still has today. Everything was going very well.

Then shortly after our 3rd anniversary things started to go sour. We started having many arguments over several things, almost all either directly or indirectly related to money (money issues are what always destroys marriages.) Our arguments were always verbal only; never any violence. A few months after our major arguments started, she started having an affair, and it didn't take long for me to find out about it. I was very upset, but since I love my son so much, I tried everything I could to save our marriage, and I was even willing to forgive her affair. But it was to no avail - she thought the "grass was greener on the other side," and she wanted to divorce me and continue her relationship with the loser from her affair.

So in March, 2002 we got divorced. She stayed with the loser for a few months, but some time around June or July he dumped her. Then lo and behold she realized she had made the biggest mistake of her life, and she wanted to get back together with me! I was like Uhh thanks, but no thanks. I gave her plenty of chances, but once the divorce was final there was no going back in my mind.

Then in August I started dating a new girlfriend, and my ex-wife got very upset and jealous when she found out about it. One Sunday evening I went to her apartment to drop off my son who had been visiting me for the weekend. While I was there, she proceeded to ask me about my girlfriend, and why was she better then her, and blah, blah, blah. Then I forget exactly what she said, but it was something to the effect of saying I should break-up with my girlfriend and come back to her. For added effect, she tried to lay a guilt trip on me and said for our son's sake, it would be better if we got back together. Anyway I told her she was crazy, and started to leave. That's when she snapped, and for the first time since I met her she became violent, and came at me with her arms swinging wildly! She managed to land a nice jab on my cheek, and then I grabbed her by the wrists and held her until she calmed down.

She was still upset, and we continued to talk about this problem. Then she got this brilliant idea that she would call the police and tell them I had hit her! I actually chuckled and said why would you want to do that? But by that time she was already on the phone talking to the police department. They said they'd send an officer over to check out the situation. I rolled my eyes, and looked at my watch and noticed it was 6:30PM. I remember this because later that night at 8:00PM was my fantasy football draft, and I wanted to get home in time for the first round! Anyway, I knew I was fine and hadn't done anything wrong, but I had to stick around and wait for the cop to be sure and set the story straight. She did have small bruises on her wrists, but that was just from me holding her back. The only potential problem would be if she decided to hurt herself while we were waiting for the cop, and then tell him I did it. (but she didn't attempt that.)

Well, it took nearly an hour for the cops to show up, but they finally did a little before 7:30. They asked my ex-wife what had happened, and she said "we were arguing and he hit me!" It was a rather tense moment, but for the life of me I couldn't help but laughing. The cop turned to me and in a serious tone said "is this true sir, did you hit her?" And I said "no, and actually she is the one who hit me! All I was doing was trying to hold her back" and they noticed the light brusies on her wrists. So then they told me to step outside for a moment, and asked me where she had hit me. I pointed to my cheek, and they pulled out a flashlight and examined my cheek, and sure enough there was a nice red spot (obvious evidence that she hit me.)

Then we went back inside, and the cop lectured us about how we need to behave and try to maintain a civil relationship for the child's sake. He mentioned that fighting in front of a child is illegal, and it could result in the child being taken away and put in a foster home. And that was about it, and the cops left, and I left behind them. (and made it back home in time for the start of the fantasy football draft! )

Well, so much for me keeping that short, but anyway this gives you an idea of the fun adventures to look forward to with a Russian (or Ukrainian, or "FSU") wife!

[Leney 0]

Springer! Springer! Oh wait sorry, I thought I was on a different web site forum for a moment

Actually the Springer Show anaolgy to this forum is quite a good one I unfortunately have to admit! That reminds me, I'd like to share a funny story about my ex-wife who also happens to be Russian, and it's very "Springer-esk"

Yeeesh I need to read these forums more often, I was bored until I found this thread!

I don't really have any Springer moments to share...though my mom likes to be funny and tell people my husband wears a skirt...(from Scotland..the whole kilt thing...)

(okay I hope that made someone smile) A friend I went to high school with minored in Russian, and met her husband while in Russia, and they seem to be wonderfully happy! I hope these "Springer-esque" stories are in the minority. I wish you all the happiness in the world, and good luck for the future!!

[akdiver 3]

I guess what I am getting at is rather than feeling like an "interloper" why not open this up some...you know share the love.

Again - plenty of love, on the general forums.

It's the people referring to this forum as the Springer show that precisely illustrate the nature of the interlopers.

I guess I should go find the Middle East forum and start talking about it being the terrorist communications network or whatever.

Cheers!

AKDiver

[Blues Fairy 0]

Well, so much for me keeping that short, but anyway this gives you an idea of the fun adventures to look forward to with a Russian (or Ukrainian, or "FSU") wife!

Yes, we are all exactly like that! I think we Russian wives should lobby to make it legal in the States to batter our US husbands!

[Turboguy 6]

That sounds like something that would be very fair. I am all for equality and since it is already legal for our American wives to beat us I think our Russian wives should have the same rights.

[Fandango 1,439]

I guess what I am getting at is rather than feeling like an "interloper" why not open this up some...you know share the love.

Again - plenty of love, on the general forums.

It's the people referring to this forum as the Springer show that precisely illustrate the nature of the interlopers.

I guess I should go find the Middle East forum and start talking about it being the terrorist communications network or whatever.

Cheers!

AKDiver

Perhaps you should notice that it's also coming from 'non-interlopers'

[slim 1,514]

Secondly, I have been shocked and appalled by things I've read in this forum (VAWA and me thread, for instance). Women are often treated as chattel and unapologetically told that they're valued for their looks and even when someone tells them they value something else, they really mean they like their physical appearance. The guys with wives from the Phils get a bad rap for that stuff, but it's on full display here.

There were a lot of posts that I wanted to respond to, but this one kind of sums it up. Once again, I'm not going to waste my keystrokes in an attempt to explain the intricacies of a U.S./FSU relationship.

For you women that are on here "defending" the Russian women on this forum, (while simultaneously pointing fingers at the guys married to them) your posts alone are evidence that you haven't a clue about the mentality or psyche of the Russian woman. Without that, you most definitely have no insight what-so-ever into their relationships.

Just to give you a little insight.....

You're not "defending" American women here, or women from the Western World. (Like Canada/U.K.) You're actually defending a "woman" in general, but you're placing her into a category with yourself.... I'd be careful if I was you! You think you're getting some Springer drama from the husbands.... stir the hornet's nest of wives!!!

Just keep in mind, the women that are "in" this forum are not like you. That's why they're "in" this forum. Why you're "in" this forum, I'm still trying to comprehend. Of course, it's probably the same reason you're "in" men's athletics, physically demanding jobs, and other "traditionally male dominated" parts of life.

If you just got mad from my post.... instead of saying "Yes of course, man should have man stuff and woman should have woman stuff" then you need to also save your keystrokes and head over to the Off Topic forum to throw your popcorn.

[Alex+R 0]

If all women from Russia are so different, and the way you describe them is pretty but insane, then why the he!! are you with them?

Excuse my ignorance, I thought people were people all over the world. Wasn't aware Russian women had been replaced with fembots.

[Milenka 0]

If all women from Russia are so different, and the way you describe them is pretty but insane, then why the he!! are you with them?

Excuse my ignorance, I thought people were people all over the world. Wasn't aware Russian women had been replaced with fembots.

As a Russian woman, this really offends me. Do you think that this is just a forum for American guys with Russian fiancees/wives? There is clearly so much you don't know/understand, and I don't really want to waste my time explaining it to you.

[JenT 0]

If all women from Russia are so different, and the way you describe them is pretty but insane, then why the he!! are you with them?

Excuse my ignorance, I thought people were people all over the world. Wasn't aware Russian women had been replaced with fembots.

As a Russian woman, this really offends me. Do you think that this is just a forum for American guys with Russian fiancees/wives? There is clearly so much you don't know/understand, and I don't really want to waste my time explaining it to you.

??? What?

Alex was making a point to be supportive of Russian women.