To whom it may consern...

[Fandango 1,439]

AK, thank you for proving mine and Jen's comment to Milenka about 'ownership'! And when Ewok tells me not to post in any regional forums but the UK, then I will stop. So either find a 'safe haven' to talk in confidence, or get over it.

And thank you, from all of those who belong here, for continuing to provide pollution on a forum where you KNOW it is not wanted. What a wonderful attitude.

btw, did you have a vote on this and you were elected He Who Talks For All?

Well, as you have indicated, what people in Russia want doesn't really matter does it?

In case you have not noticed, there are a number of different, regular posters, who ARE Russian-VJ oriented, all telling you the same thing. It's not just me.

Cheers!

AKDiver

Ignore is a wonderful feature...feel free to use it.

You know, the more you insist we're not welcome, the more I think I'll pay attn to this forum. I might get comfy! After all, I am a VJ member and this is VJ

[Alex+R 0]

This forum is so completely messed up. First of all, people post in every regional forum. A big ME/NA thread attracts people from all over (especially if it's an innocuous question thread), ME/NA-ers and UKers have been found in the Lat Am forum, I show up in the UK forum sometimes and a very personal thread anywhere will attract attention. So far, this is the only forum I've seen that is hostile to others joining. This is VJ, and there are forums available for Russian-American couples only out there on the internet.

Secondly, I have been shocked and appalled by things I've read in this forum (VAWA and me thread, for instance). Women are often treated as chattel and unapologetically told that they're valued for their looks and even when someone tells them they value something else, they really mean they like their physical appearance. The guys with wives from the Phils get a bad rap for that stuff, but it's on full display here.

I suspect THAT'S the true reason this forum is the only one out of all the regional forums that demands others stay out. They know the stuff they say would be pretty gross to an outsider.

[akdiver 3]

You know, the more you insist we're not welcome, the more I think I'll pay attn to this forum. I might get comfy!

Yes, this is typically how children think too.

Secondly, I have been shocked and appalled by things I've read in this forum (VAWA and me thread, for instance). Women are often treated as chattel and unapologetically told that they're valued for their looks and even when someone tells them they value something else, they really mean they like their physical appearance. The guys with wives from the Phils get a bad rap for that stuff, but it's on full display here.

Ah yes, thanks for the stereotyped views of us. As Slim pointed out in his last post, this is greatly appreciated. It's good to know that the interlopers are here to keep our morality in check, even if it is necessary to take comments out of context to do so.

I suspect THAT'S the true reason this forum is the only one out of all the regional forums that demands others stay out. They know the stuff they say would be pretty gross to an outsider.

Don't overlook the possibility that it could be as simple as just not caring what you think. Usually the simple explanation is the correct one (:

Cheers!

AKDiver

Edited May 20, 2007 by akdiver

[Alex+R 0]

Secondly, I have been shocked and appalled by things I've read in this forum (VAWA and me thread, for instance). Women are often treated as chattel and unapologetically told that they're valued for their looks and even when someone tells them they value something else, they really mean they like their physical appearance. The guys with wives from the Phils get a bad rap for that stuff, but it's on full display here. I suspect THAT'S the true reason this forum is the only one out of all the regional forums that demands others stay out. They know the stuff they say would be pretty gross to an outsider.

Ah yes, thanks for the stereotyped views of us. As Slim pointed out in his last post, this is greatly appreciated. It's good to know that the interlopers are here to keep our morality in check, even if it is necessary to take comments out of context to do so.

Cheers!

AKDiver

You know, the more you insist we're not welcome, the more I think I'll pay attn to this forum. I might get comfy!

Yes, this is typically how children think.

Cheers!

AKDiver

I read the whole thread one night last week when I couldn't sleep. Then I read other threads. What other context do I need? I'm not drawing on a stereotype; I'm drawing on what I actually read. I honestly didn't expect it. I'm sorry you feel people who aren't married to Russians are "interlopers" but if that's such an issue, use a forum other than VJ designed just for Russo-Am relationships.

[akdiver 3]

use a forum other than VJ designed just for Russo-Am relationships.

Um, so what exactly do you think the VJ Russian forum is for?

Yes, VJ is for talking about all kinds of relationships, and it has many forums for doing so. This one is for stuff about the Russian process. This is a process that the interlopers are not involved in, except to the extent that, for some reason, they want to pollute the VJ Russian forum with whatever trash-talking comes to their mind.

This forum is so completely messed up.

I just don't get it. Maybe I need to stir up some desire to go pollute a bunch of other forums with unrelated information, but you know, I just don't have the energy.

Cheers!

AKDiver

Edited May 20, 2007 by akdiver

[Fandango 1,439]

use a forum other than VJ designed just for Russo-Am relationships.

Um, so what exactly do you think the VJ Russian forum is for?

Yes, VJ is for talking about all kinds of relationships, and it has many forums for doing so. This one is for stuff about the Russian process. This is a process that the interlopers are not involved in, except to the extent that, for some reason, they want to pollute the VJ Russian forum with whatever trash-talking comes to their mind.

This forum is so completely messed up.

I just don't get it. Maybe I need to stir up some desire to go pollute a bunch of other forums with unrelated information, but you know, I just don't have the energy.

Cheers!

AKDiver

you missed her point entirely.

[akdiver 3]

you missed her point entirely.

No doubt because I am an awful, evil, misoginistic, self-centered, shallow, desperate, woman bashing, anti-feminist husband of a Russian woman, who could never find a fine, sensible, self-respecting American woman to come within 500 miles of him, let alone marry him!

Oh, great interlopers, thee of infinite wisdom of all things Russian, those who understand us more than we could possibly understand ourselves (and are more than happy to tell us so) and are here to save us from ourselves (rather than to provide yourselves with some perverted, pathetic sense of misplaced self-gratification, which of course is a preposterous idea), we humbly beg your forgiveness, and ask that you help save us from our ways! We are at your benevolent mercy!!

Cheers!

AKDiver

[JamesT 12]

AKDiver is correct; the VJ Russian forum is primarily for discussing the visa process as it goes specifically for Russian~American couples, and that includes all related discussions about relationships, etc.

People who don't want to discuss Russian specific topics should use the general forums in VJ such as K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & Procedures General Discussion, K-3 Spouse Visa General Discussion, The Foreign Embassy and Consulate General Discussion, National Visa Center (Dept of State), etc.

I mean I certainly would not post in the "Asia: South", "Canada", or "United Kingdom" forums because I don't know anything about how the Embassies work in those areas, and I don't know anything about the personality of South Asian, Canadian, or English people or about relationships with people from those countries.

[kitkat1 5]

AKDiver is correct; the VJ Russian forum is primarily for discussing the visa process as it goes specifically for Russian~American couples, and that includes all related discussions about relationships, etc.

People who don't want to discuss Russian specific topics should use the general forums in VJ such as K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & Procedures General Discussion, K-3 Spouse Visa General Discussion, The Foreign Embassy and Consulate General Discussion, National Visa Center (Dept of State), etc.

I mean I certainly would not post in the "Asia: South", "Canada", or "United Kingdom" forums because I don't know anything about how the Embassies work in those areas, and I don't know anything about the personality of South Asian, Canadian, or English people or about relationships with people from those countries.

???

Do you really think Galina's story is ONLY Russia-specific and nothing that she posted could POSSIBLY be understood by other VJ members and it's IMPOSSIBLE that other VJ members might have comments or words of wisdom to offer?

Wow.

Again, this forum is open to the world. If you don't like the comments you get from other VJ members, open your own secret, private, Russia-only forum.

[homesick_american 1]

This forum is so completely messed up. First of all, people post in every regional forum. A big ME/NA thread attracts people from all over (especially if it's an innocuous question thread), ME/NA-ers and UKers have been found in the Lat Am forum, I show up in the UK forum sometimes and a very personal thread anywhere will attract attention. So far, this is the only forum I've seen that is hostile to others joining. This is VJ, and there are forums available for Russian-American couples only out there on the internet.

Secondly, I have been shocked and appalled by things I've read in this forum (VAWA and me thread, for instance). Women are often treated as chattel and unapologetically told that they're valued for their looks and even when someone tells them they value something else, they really mean they like their physical appearance. The guys with wives from the Phils get a bad rap for that stuff, but it's on full display here.

I suspect THAT'S the true reason this forum is the only one out of all the regional forums that demands others stay out. They know the stuff they say would be pretty gross to an outsider.

I noticed you in the UK forum. You're so NOT WELCOME there!

KIDDING.

[JamesT 12]

AKDiver is correct; the VJ Russian forum is primarily for discussing the visa process as it goes specifically for Russian~American couples, and that includes all related discussions about relationships, etc.

People who don't want to discuss Russian specific topics should use the general forums in VJ such as K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & Procedures General Discussion, K-3 Spouse Visa General Discussion, The Foreign Embassy and Consulate General Discussion, National Visa Center (Dept of State), etc.

I mean I certainly would not post in the "Asia: South", "Canada", or "United Kingdom" forums because I don't know anything about how the Embassies work in those areas, and I don't know anything about the personality of South Asian, Canadian, or English people or about relationships with people from those countries.

???

Do you really think Galina's story is ONLY Russia-specific and nothing that she posted could POSSIBLY be understood by other VJ members and it's IMPOSSIBLE that other VJ members might have comments or words of wisdom to offer?

Wow.

Again, this forum is open to the world. If you don't like the comments you get from other VJ members, open your own secret, private, Russia-only forum.

Nah, obviously it's fine if anyone and everyone wants to post in the Russian forum, but the point I was trying to make is someone who has experience with a Russian/American relationship would be much more knowledgeable about situations involving such relationships. Remember - not everyone in the world has the same personality type or cultural background.

The Galina story is a perfect example. 95% of the posters in VJ would read that, and immediately come to the conclusion that "Russ is this horrible, woman-beating, baby-killing excuse for a man", and never stop to think that maybe Galina's post is largely incorrect and grossly embellished.... But somebody who knows the personality and tendancies of some RW, and knows the history and bad (but true) stories about RW using AM only to get a green card would question the Galina post and not immediately take it for the gospel truth.

Well, I've probably said way too much, and gotten in way over my head, but anyway that's just my two sense. (Now I'll sit back and take my bashing like a man )

[homesick_american 1]

Nah, obviously it's fine if anyone and everyone wants to post in the Russian forum, but the point I was trying to make is someone who has experience with a Russian/American relationship would be much more knowledgeable about situations involving such relationships. Remember - not everyone in the world has the same personality type or cultural background.

The Galina story is a perfect example. 95% of the posters in VJ would read that, and immediately come to the conclusion that "Russ is this horrible, woman-beating, baby-killing excuse for a man", and never stop to think that maybe Galina's post is largely incorrect and grossly embellished.... But somebody who knows the personality and tendancies of some RW, and knows the history and bad (but true) stories about RW using AM only to get a green card would question the Galina post and not immediately take it for the gospel truth.

Well, I've probably said way too much, and gotten in way over my head, but anyway that's just my two sense. (Now I'll sit back and take my bashing like a man )

Well, lessee...my great-grandfather came to America in 1905 with Russian papers. He was an ethnic Pole, but thanks to Russia, Prussia, and Germany there was no such place as 'Poland' at that time. The Russians persecuted the Poles and didn't even let them attend school, but he was literate in both Russian and Polish nonetheless. What a lawbreaker. When he arrived in America he swore he would never speak the Russian language (the language of his oppressors) ever again. My great-grandmother's parents were killed in a pogrom because they were Jews.

Is that enough cultural background for ya?

[JenT 0]

you missed her point entirely.

No doubt because I am an awful, evil, misoginistic, self-centered, shallow, desperate, woman bashing, anti-feminist husband of a Russian woman, who could never find a fine, sensible, self-respecting American woman to come within 500 miles of him, let alone marry him!

Well, at least you're honest.

The only 'trash talking' I've seen in this thread so far is by Galina... if someone wants to air dirty laundry, they should expect someone to come along with laundry detergent.

[etripke 0]

The Russia forum is one of my Favorites, although I will say that it is clearly dominated by you guys with Russian Wives/Fiancees. That's ok. I enjoy reading, less so much of the Jerry Springer show, but nonetheless it is good reading.

Culturally, My Ukrainian Fiancee is about as close to being Russian as any out there. I think that many of us who are involved with Ukrainian Fiancee/Fiance's would certainly MUCH rather be grouped into this forum under a new guise of "FSU" as they (as well as other FSU countries) still have ties to "Mother Russia" and there are issues that arise where Russia is going to be involved in the topic : Police Certificates for example. I looked at the numbers of filers out there, and granted the number of Russians do out number the others country for country, the rest of us do add up to a number close to the Russians.

I guess what I am getting at is rather than feeling like an "interloper" why not open this up some...you know share the love.

Ok....I'm ready for lashes.

[Leney 0]

Springer! Springer! Oh wait sorry, I thought I was on a different web site forum for a moment