Help with K1/AoS and terrible marriage problem please

[Unlockable 7,314]

*** Moved to "Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits" ***

[K1visaHopeful 2,817]

1 hour ago, Alabamak1 said:

is this even possible for VAWA after not even filed for AOS? just asking.

Yes. You can file for AOS under VAWA.

https://family.findlaw.com/domestic-violence/the-domestic-violence-green-card-immigrant-visa-petitions-for-vi.html

Edited October 30, 2018 by K1visaHopeful

[Unlockable 7,314]

@LostInUSA

 

Your family, friends, and life are in your home country. How is you returning home not an option? Even if it is the most embarrassing thing you have to do at least you will be with those that will love, support, and help you.

 

You stated yourself that there is NOTHING here for you. At least back home you will have a safety net. It will give you the ability to dust yourself off and rebuild emotionally and financially.

Edited October 30, 2018 by NuestraUnion

[Alabamak1 688]

9 minutes ago, K1visaHopeful said:

Yes. You can file for AOS under VAWA.

https://family.findlaw.com/domestic-violence/the-domestic-violence-green-card-immigrant-visa-petitions-for-vi.html

i was not aware of this. thank you for letting us know. 

[Shiran 1,134]

It seems you have been intentionally manipulated and gaslighted, and by refusing to file for AoS, he keeps you trapped. Regardless of how much you love this country it is not worth it. Your number one concern should be your own well being, both mental and physical, you contact your local crisis centre and see if they have any addiiotnal input, but if there is no legal path for you stay (I don't think you can file Violence against Women claim without AoS) it is best to go back, and then rebuild, and maybe find another path back either via work, or via partners who actually cares for you as a person, instead of toy.

[Alabamak1 688]

9 minutes ago, NuestraUnion said:

@LostInUSA

 

Your family, friends, and life are in your home country. How is you returning home not an option? Even if it is the most embarrassing thing you have to do at least you will be with those that will love, support, and help you.

 

You stated yourself that there is NOTHING here for you. At least back home you will have a safety net. It will give you the ability to dust yourself off and rebuild emotionally and financially.

i second this. i just mentioned this to my wife. and this is a key reason to have a back up plan. The UK is not like my wifes and my native country. There is no such thing as helping yourself up from zero. Very hard to just even have a chance to immigrate from there. 

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

  There is a VAWA thread on this board with a very qualified attorney that you can ask if what you are going through is "enough"  

 

   Please if you even suspect that any of the very young females you have seen are underage, report him.  I was sexually abused as a child and hope you take the lead in stopping this man. 

[Villanelle 4,122]

No offense to anyone that posted but its very irritating to see posts like you cant use VAWA that are clearly incorrect. I am going to humbly ask that people try to be mindful when replying esp giving VAWA answers/advice to victims of abuse.

 

Anyway, I have to agree with Boiler and point out that VAWA is for abuse victims to adjust status w/o the help of their abuser. A bad or unhappy marriage is not the same as abuse. USCIS has very specific guidelines about what is and is not considered abusive. After reading everything that was posted it all just seems like it could be viewed as a 'bad marriage' by USCIS however one line- about considering suicide shows the amount of emotional suffering going on. So it can very well qualify as abuse.

 

I agree you need to join the VAWA thread and either post there or directly message sandra (you'll find her on that thread) and explain in more specific detail whats going on. She will give you a 100% honest and no nonsense opinion on if you will qualify.

 

If you dont qualify then you should explore options on how to get back home. You are way overstayed right now so you can forget about coming back to the US as a tourist. You will be able to qualify to come again as a spouse or fiance if life goes that way though.

 

If you do not feel safe in the house you can go to a local DV shelter. You can call the police and they will come pick you up and drop you off there. You dont need immigration status to go to a shelter. Your husband will not know where you are and if you change your cell # and online account profiles he wont be able to contact you so theres no worry about threats or any such things. You can also contact places like catholic charities/salvation army etc and see if they can help get you funds to get back home. Lots of other church groups also do this and you dont have to be part of that church or even religion for them to help you. 

 

Divorce is the last thing you need to address and that can be done when you get back home or before you leave the US but if you file in the US you have to be able to see it all the way through which staying an extended period of time with no status/no income/ no residence is probably not be the best idea. 

 

Hope it all works out ok for you. Hang in there and remember suicide is never the answer.

[Villanelle 4,122]

wait I just went back and checked dates. Youve been here for 6 months? So the K gave you 90 days-  so you are only 3 month overstay. You will not have a ban if you leave before being out of status for 6 months. Theres one ban for 6 months over and a different ban if you are 1yr over. Again you are only at 3 months overstay. Check the date on your k visa to see exactly where you fall.

[carmel34 3,635]

You mentioned that you have some very good friends here in the US.  I would suggest that you turn to them for help, and get out of the bad situation you are in and get to a safe place, away from the emotional abuse and control.  You have received some very good advice on this thread, so you have lots of ideas to think about and you can decide on the best course of action for you--whether you stay or go home, you need to think this through and do something.  The status quo is not acceptable--no one should have to be subjected to the abuse you have endured.  We here on VJ are with you every step of the way.  You are in a difficult situation and you always have support and moral support here.  I am so sorry for your situation and will pray for you.  Please get to a safe place and get away from this very bad person--he does not deserve you.  Good luck!

[TBoneTX 45,328]

A noncontributory post & reply have been removed.  Post constructively, or don't post.

[Lucky2Lucky 2,526]

I’m so sorry you are going through this. This IS abuse and it does not seem like things will change. You need to get yourself out of this situation. I know you said you want to be in the US but to stay you have to do AOS. It really doesn’t seem in your best interest to stay here with him. You don’t deserve this. He is a monster who preys on women.

 

Please, I know you may feel embarrassed or ashamed, but you shouldn’t, tell someone back home what is happening I’m sure they can come up with funds to get you and your cat back home. You can pay them in the future once you reestablish yourself. Please, it’s not worth it to stay in this relationship. You don’t have to stay in the US during the divorce. See if you can connect with an attorney on here as others have suggested. 

 

You as a human being and your life are not worth this abuse. Please put your well-being first. Staying in the US (legal or not) does not appear to be the best option.

[EM_Vandaveer 2,408]

11 hours ago, Shiran said:

It seems you have been intentionally manipulated and gaslighted, and by refusing to file for AoS, he keeps you trapped. Regardless of how much you love this country it is not worth it. Your number one concern should be your own well being, both mental and physical, you contact your local crisis centre and see if they have any addiiotnal input, but if there is no legal path for you stay (I don't think you can file Violence against Women claim without AoS) it is best to go back, and then rebuild, and maybe find another path back either via work, or via partners who actually cares for you as a person, instead of toy.

Most definitely CAN file VAWA. The only requirements for filing VAWA are: being married to a USC or LPR & having been abused by said USC or LPR spouse. Now you do have to prove bona fide marriage, that may be tricky. Definitely speak to a lawyer. Really, get out of there. Call the police, tell them you're afraid he'll hurt you if you leave him, ask them to take you to a women's shelter. You can figure out the rest later.

[Unlockable 7,314]

If child pornography is involved then the U visa is definitely an option. It would require the OP to work with the authorities to convict him.

[Ash.1101 1,756]

Divorce him, go back home, and anonymously call the cops about the potential child porn on his computer (I believe cartoon child porn is still considered child porn if the cartoons are depicted as being someone under 18)


If you truly want to stay, go the VAWA route, but I can gguarantee you even if you feel embarrassed, if you told those what happened to you back at your home country, they would empathize with you and understand. They wouldn't shame you or anything like that.

Edited October 30, 2018 by Ash.1101