Advantages and disadvantages of bringing parents

[little immigrant 801]

If one files for their parents will they receive a conditional or unconditional green card after arriving? 

[Boiler 45,522]

No conditions

[HonoraryCitizen 179]

In my circles, I have had to on a few ocassions mediate between mothers in law and daughters in law. Indeed some marriages have not been able to recover from the tension and collapsed. Don’t do it is what I tell everyone. Sharing a house with mother in laws rarely ends well.

 

if however they won’t live with you, it’s a different situation. My experience is however that after a few months they yearn for the life they had in their own country. It gets really boring and lonely for old folks who relocate to the USA. Visiting is better methinks. My parents have no interest.

[SusieQQQ 11,586]

14 hours ago, HonoraryCitizen said:

In my circles, I have had to on a few ocassions mediate between mothers in law and daughters in law. Indeed some marriages have not been able to recover from the tension and collapsed. Don’t do it is what I tell everyone. Sharing a house with mother in laws rarely ends well.

 

if however they won’t live with you, it’s a different situation. My experience is however that after a few months they yearn for the life they had in their own country. It gets really boring and lonely for old folks who relocate to the USA. Visiting is better methinks. My parents have no interest.

Agree

 

Sometimes the parents want to come and that’s great, but often it’s pressure from the kids (sometimes just because they miss them, sometimes sadly to say as we’ve seen on vj for cheap childcare) with no thought to the huge adjustment of taking older people away from everyone and everything that’s familiar to them. Even younger people will often acknowledge how difficult immigration and integration into a new society is, so much harder for older people.

 

[Cyberfx1024 7,980]

36 minutes ago, SusieQQQ said:

Agree

Sometimes the parents want to come and that’s great, but often it’s pressure from the kids (sometimes just because they miss them, sometimes sadly to say as we’ve seen on vj for cheap childcare) with no thought to the huge adjustment of taking older people away from everyone and everything that’s familiar to them. Even younger people will often acknowledge how difficult immigration and integration into a new society is, so much harder for older people.

 

15 hours ago, HonoraryCitizen said:

In my circles, I have had to on a few ocassions mediate between mothers in law and daughters in law. Indeed some marriages have not been able to recover from the tension and collapsed. Don’t do it is what I tell everyone. Sharing a house with mother in laws rarely ends well.

if however they won’t live with you, it’s a different situation. My experience is however that after a few months they yearn for the life they had in their own country. It gets really boring and lonely for old folks who relocate to the USA. Visiting is better methinks. My parents have no interest.

This is one of the biggest reasons why we have not petitioned for my MIL to come here. Yes, she is old but she is happy in the Philippines with her lifestyle which is what counts. If we brought her here she would be bored out of mind. 

[little immigrant 801]

On 10/29/2018 at 5:25 AM, little immigrant said:

I offered my mom and my biological dad a green card but they declined for now. Both said they might consider it when they retire. 

I found out my father lied about this and that he never even considered coming here. I don't know why one would lie about it. I'm OK with his decision but I'm not OK with him making me believe something that isn't true. I have a very difficult time with him now. I honestly don't know how to handle this. 

[SusieQQQ 11,586]

42 minutes ago, little immigrant said:

I found out my father lied about this and that he never even considered coming here. I don't know why one would lie about it. I'm OK with his decision but I'm not OK with him making me believe something that isn't true. I have a very difficult time with him now. I honestly don't know how to handle this. 

He probably just didn’t want to hurt your feelings and didn’t know how to tell you/didn’t want a confrontation. Unless he has a history of lying about important things, I’d give him the benefit of the doubt here.