Meeting girl from morocco but small issue:) parents think she is in it just for visa... [merged threads]

[Mayi & MiMi 172]

39 minutes ago, PersaisX said:

Wow! They are serious about not letting premarital sex happen on their watch lol

Right LOL 

 

Whats funny is that his mom told him the 2nd time I visited that it was ok to share his room with me because I was his wife now.  I was shocked ! Seriously I was NOT expecting that at all.  We had been sleeping in seprate rooms at his house but when told me that his mom said he can share the bed I almost had a heart attack.  I guess she saw that we were very serious about being together (she should be cause he has never brought a female to meet her).

 

 

[Apple Bee 272]

11 minutes ago, Mayi & MiMi said:

Right LOL 

 

Whats funny is that his mom told him the 2nd time I visited that it was ok to share his room with me because I was his wife now.  I was shocked ! Seriously I was NOT expecting that at all.  We had been sleeping in seprate rooms at his house but when told me that his mom said he can share the bed I almost had a heart attack.  I guess she saw that we were very serious about being together (she should be cause he has never brought a female to meet her).

 

 

Awww same with my husband.

 

Only thing is, his parents were okay with us sleeping in the same room before we got married, I don't know if it's because they knew we would be getting married in a matter of days or just that they trusted their son would do the right thing. We chose to abstain from sex until we got married.

[Mayi & MiMi 172]

22 minutes ago, PersaisX said:

Awww same with my husband.

 

Only thing is, his parents were okay with us sleeping in the same room before we got married, I don't know if it's because they knew we would be getting married in a matter of days or just that they trusted their son would do the right thing.

QUOTE: We chose to abstain from sex until we got married.

Oppssss  LOL we chose differently 

[carmel34 3,650]

I met my now husband online, and the thoughts and doubts about a possible scam or otherwise questionable ultimate motive of just getting to the US and doing whatever necessary to get a legal status and then abandoning the spouse should be considered by all of us in similar situations.  It's because of the prevalence of this happening so many times to US citizens who fall in love with someone from another country, then after fighting so hard to prove it is bona fide... it doesn't work out because the "alien" who comes to the US has a change of heart.  Any person of average intelligence would be wise to think of these possibilities especially in the early stages of such a relationship.  Look into their eyes.  Note their words, their actions.  If it is a relationship really built on mutual love and respect, a desire to spend the rest of your lives together, you will know it, but it takes time, it takes effort and many trips to be with them, it takes deep discussions and careful self-reflection and rational thinking when you are alone, back in the US.  Their reaction to the possibility of living in their home country tells you a lot.  Their thoughts on the future, reactions when you offer to send money, how aggressive or patient they are during the long visa waiting process.  Get to know the person, communicate about these important citizenship issues, not just exchanges of love messages.  Swearing on the Koran is not going to tell you anything.  Visit again, observe how she treats you.  Is it sincere?  Is it love based on mutual attraction?  Or just love based on a hidden desire to escape from their home country?  Think it over when you return.  Eventually you will know if their motives are honest or not.  The future is impossible to predict, but you would be wise to take your time and do a thorough assessment of where this person really stands.  For countries like Morocco, I recommend marrying in their home country and filing for CR1.  And don't get engaged or married on the first visit.  Don't rush into anything.  Any serious relationship takes time, effort, reflection, and open, honest dialogue.  A long-distance relationship requires even more work.  Good luck with your trip on Saturday OP.  Please post a follow up report after you return.  

[Ryan H 3,819]

Moved from IR-1/CR-1 Progress Reports to MENA regional forum; topic is Morocco specific.

[HAJARMorocco 2]

hello guys..i have been talking with a girl who i met online who is from morocco for quite some time now...i will be visiting her tomorrow for up to 6 days to see her and possibly her family...i mentioned this to my parents but they are not happy with my decision of going to morocco...my sister says there is a big chance she just wants you for the visa, once she gets the greencard she will leave me...i brought this issue to the girl and she told me she will promise on the koran that she wont do this...i am only going for 6 days and will see her in person to see how she is...there is not really a way to know if she is really talking with me just for visa purposes....i am guessing its a big risk either it can be good or bad but just need to be smart about it...

 

i am only going there for 6 days cuz of work but next time if things go well and i am comfortable i will take my parents to meet her and her family...

 

 

[TBoneTX 45,845]

Multiple threads on the same topic have been merged.  Do NOT start any more threads on this matter, because it constitutes spamming of the forums, a Terms of Service violation.  Thanks for your compliance.

 

VJ Moderation

[JuniorMints 66]

On 10/24/2018 at 7:50 PM, bakphx1 said:

 

It’s based on having read quite a bit on the subject.  I’ve had friends either scammed or attempted to be scammed by people from these countries.  A pattern emerges.  Even here on VJ there are plenty of women who find that the thoughtful caring husband changes, the day he gets his 10 year green card.  Then they dump the wife.  

 

The odds are not in your favor because you are more likely to cross paths with them, than with someone who doesn’t aggressively look for Americans on dating sites.  

 

The information is is out there.  Research it or don’t.  It’s your life.  

 

 

Scammers come from EVERY country, even Honduras.   I'm Arab and Muslim and you are very offensive to those of us on here from MENA and with MENA spouses.   How do you know YOUR  fiance isn't scamming you to come to America?  It can happen to anyone from any country............

Edited November 1, 2018 by JuniorMints

[janet3 1,170]

On 10/24/2018 at 9:50 PM, bakphx1 said:

 

It’s based on having read quite a bit on the subject.  I’ve had friends either scammed or attempted to be scammed by people from these countries.  A pattern emerges.  Even here on VJ there are plenty of women who find that the thoughtful caring husband changes, the day he gets his 10 year green card.  Then they dump the wife.  

 

The odds are not in your favor because you are more likely to cross paths with them, than with someone who doesn’t aggressively look for Americans on dating sites.  

 

The information is is out there.  Research it or don’t.  It’s your life.  

 

 

Oh honey....,

You are making a lot of broad generalizations.....

You are assuming that middle aged women  (say past the age of 39) are weak and desperately looking for someone to love them (mainly because we are old witches who didn’t concentrate long enough on being cute or giving enough to “catch” a long term husband)

In addition, you assume, we are so desperate for someone (anyone) to love our sorry old decrepit asses that we would settle for any gutter dweller. And, obviously, we are undesirable (because we are past our precious “child bearing years” and have NOTHING to offer)

 

Now....let’s flip that to some random guy who is married to a man from an oppressed country in Central America (the motivation to get out of a Central American country with an oppressive government is the same to get out of an African country with an oppressive government) Not to mention......being two men....how are you going to have children? What is your life plan? You seem to believe that being under 40 makes everything better and that someone being able to make babies makes everything good.....so please....tell me how you get to judge.

 

 I appreciate your critique of my life and how I should be cautious (and how obviously my husband is a fraud). But how is your house?

[bakphx1 789]

46 minutes ago, janet3 said:

Oh honey....,

You are making a lot of broad generalizations.....

You are assuming that middle aged women  (say past the age of 39) are weak and desperately looking for someone to love them (mainly because we are old witches who didn’t concentrate long enough on being cute or giving enough to “catch” a long term husband)

In addition, you assume, we are so desperate for someone (anyone) to love our sorry old decrepit asses that we would settle for any gutter dweller. And, obviously, we are undesirable (because we are past our precious “child bearing years” and have NOTHING to offer)

 

Now....let’s flip that to some random guy who is married to a man from an oppressed country in Central America (the motivation to get out of a Central American country with an oppressive government is the same to get out of an African country with an oppressive government) Not to mention......being two men....how are you going to have children? What is your life plan? You seem to believe that being under 40 makes everything better and that someone being able to make babies makes everything good.....so please....tell me how you get to judge.

 

 I appreciate your critique of my life and how I should be cautious (and how obviously my husband is a fraud). But how is your house?

I am not here to pick a fight.  But you put a lot of words in my mouth.  I never spoke to anyone’s age, I never spoke to having children.  I never spoke to anyone being desperate or offered any such critique on anyone’s life. You ascribe many things to me that I didn’t say or insinuate at all.  

 

As I said, research it or if you don’t wish to I really don’t care.  None of it’s my problem.  

 

None of what I said was my own invention.  The Moroccan consulate has a warning speaking to just that.  They didn’t come up with it out of thin air.  https://ma.usembassy.gov/u-s-citizen-services/local-resources-of-u-s-citizens/marriage-information/

 

There’s plenty more to Google if you wish to but it’s I have no intention of trying to convince you of anything.  And you’re free to not bother. If someone asks a question I’ll answer it.  But don’t think I just sat and maligned a region based on my own assumptions and nothing more. Nor did I categorically make judgements about any age group.

 

[HAJARMorocco 2]

On 10/24/2018 at 4:18 PM, RJandHamid said:

Have you asked her about the engagement and marriage process? She would probably be your best resource. 

 

In Morocco it is pretty common to have a small engagement party (nice clothes, tea and cookies) with close family and friends. This isn't required though. The consulate does know that traditional engagement ceremonies are a common practice. Weddings on the other hand are usually larger events, with the bride wearing multiple dresses throughout the night, lots of food and drinks, the ceremonial furniture and music, ect. But again, you can just have a legal marriage without having a big party. Talk to your girlfriend about what she wants and expects. 

 

What do you mean by go out freely together? You can go out together without being married...You can't stay in hotels together before marriage, but just going out and hanging out around town is fine unless her family is extremely conservative. 

 

hi brother how r u

 i was in morocco for 6 days and saw the girl that i have been worrying my ### about she is very nice , happy and honest person...it looks like u did the K1 visa, how many times did u visit her before u appiled for k1? so lots of photos, meeting her family? videos etc? coming back to the states alone sucks haha

On 10/25/2018 at 5:52 PM, Mayi & MiMi said:

QUOTE: We chose to abstain from sex until we got married.

Oppssss  LOL we chose differently 

hi brother how r u

 i was in morocco for 6 days and saw the girl that i have been worrying my ### about she is very nice , happy and honest person...it looks like u did the K1 visa, how many times did u visit her before u appiled for k1? so lots of photos, meeting her family? videos etc? coming back to the states alone sucks haha

[RJandHamid 1,133]

I visited 4 times before we filed the K1 visa. Had lots of photos of us together and with family. 

I still recommend going the CR1 route and getting married perhaps on your next visit. In general, the more visits you have before filing the petition (for both K1 and CR1), the higher your chances are for an approval.