Immigration wait destroys marriages?

[Apple Bee 272]

3 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

Will look at the PubMed stuff, but the general reality is that children can make a strong marriage stronger, and they can stress weaker marriages -- if for no other reason than you don't sleep for the first 3 years.

Bingo.

There has been no story more heartbreaking before or since.  Not even those of us who got hosed by the consulates can rank with how USCIS hosed her.

Sara wrote to me some time ago from her older "estadia" account, but she apparently hasn't logged on to VJ recently.

What was the deal with Sara?

[debbiedoo 2,339]

2 minutes ago, PersaisX said:

What was the deal with Sara?

im not sure i know that story, either

[B_J 2,752]

First, Sara was one of the nicest people ever to come to VJ.

 

I believe her journey went into it's fourth year without an end in sight.  I can almost guarantee that the stress and no hope for ever being together was the cause of their relationship ending.  

 

You can read one of her updates here:

 

https://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/213470-some-of-you-have-asked-for-update-on-us/

[Boiler 45,475]

Seems she moved on, do we know why she did not move?

[TBoneTX 45,267]

I don't recall a distinct answer, but Sara probably never moved because her life was here, and she was a fairly observant Muslim who was facing her first marriage.

 

The poor sweet girl was consistently and invariably gracious, without any self-pity, in congratulating others whose petitions were submitted and approved while she waited and waited and waited.  It was only around the third or fourth year when she began to "crack," and this was many times longer than anyone else would have lasted.  USCIS finally found her petition (incredibly mislaid), but by then her fiancé had decided to move on.

 

Amidst her own pain, she was very sympathetic to our woes at the ####### Guayaquil consulate.  A truly beautiful person.

[debbiedoo 2,339]

31 minutes ago, TBoneTX said:

I don't recall a distinct answer, but Sara probably never moved because her life was here, and she was a fairly observant Muslim who was facing her first marriage.

 

The poor sweet girl was consistently and invariably gracious, without any self-pity, in congratulating others whose petitions were submitted and approved while she waited and waited and waited.  It was only around the third or fourth year when she began to "crack," and this was many times longer than anyone else would have lasted.  USCIS finally found her petition (incredibly mislaid), but by then her fiancé had decided to move on.

 

Amidst her own pain, she was very sympathetic to our woes at the ####### Guayaquil consulate.  A truly beautiful person.

 

thats so sad. At least Paul and I know we have several other options for any worst case scenario.

[Boiler 45,475]

I would assume in most inter Country, even inter State marriages that both parties have a life where they are, one or both have to leave it and of course a variety of factors come into play when deciding who moves.

[Love To Teach 161]

My husband and I have known each other almost 8 years. We tried to get married in Serbia twice (he moved there so we would be closer distance-wise and he still could do his businesses). The first time they said we had to post a letter of our intent to get married for more weeks than I was going to be there. The second time, the "judge" refused to marry us when she saw that I was an American. She thought he was going to marry a Serbian woman until he whipped out my USA passport. Then she would not marry us. They don't like Americans because of US and NATO/war. My husband's visa was not renewed because we wouldn't/couldn't put $15000 in our bank account, so he had to move back to Pakistan. This was 3 years ago. We will have been married 3 years next week, and we are not sure he will ever get a visa after his writing a coerced false confession that was dictated to him. So we tried to get married for 3 years before we actually could do it (in Pakistan). Plus we are both older (me-60's, him-50's) so I feel time is physically running out for us. BUT we really love each other and refuse to give up. Now he works in Dubai and is not allowed to be on his phone while working his 12 hour days 6 days a week. And they restrict videoing, so we haven't yet been able to video-chat. So our contact consists of a few sentences a day now. The entire situation is just sad. Heck yeah, it's stressful. But we're in this til the end, no matter what. We just have to live one day at a time with no expectations. You can't make this stuff up!!

[Queeniam1963 7]

21 hours ago, Love To Teach said:

My husband and I have known each other almost 8 years. We tried to get married in Serbia twice (he moved there so we would be closer distance-wise and he still could do his businesses). The first time they said we had to post a letter of our intent to get married for more weeks than I was going to be there. The second time, the "judge" refused to marry us when she saw that I was an American. She thought he was going to marry a Serbian woman until he whipped out my USA passport. Then she would not marry us. They don't like Americans because of US and NATO/war. My husband's visa was not renewed because we wouldn't/couldn't put $15000 in our bank account, so he had to move back to Pakistan. This was 3 years ago. We will have been married 3 years next week, and we are not sure he will ever get a visa after his writing a coerced false confession that was dictated to him. So we tried to get married for 3 years before we actually could do it (in Pakistan). Plus we are both older (me-60's, him-50's) so I feel time is physically running out for us. BUT we really love each other and refuse to give up. Now he works in Dubai and is not allowed to be on his phone while working his 12 hour days 6 days a week. And they restrict videoing, so we haven't yet been able to video-chat. So our contact consists of a few sentences a day now. The entire situation is just sad. Heck yeah, it's stressful. But we're in this til the end, no matter what. We just have to live one day at a time with no expectations. You can't make this stuff up!!

I applaud you 4 your dedication to each other,I wish your happiness in this journey! When you’re in this process , it’s as though , those in authority has to accept and approve of a couples real love! If only there were technology that could look at the TRUE HEARTED PEOPLE!! Not by paperwork,,but the  ones who really have love and unification & lifelong goals and plans!! Blessings to you! 

[Love To Teach 161]

2 hours ago, Queeniam1963 said:

I applaud you 4 your dedication to each other,I wish your happiness in this journey! When you’re in this process , it’s as though , those in authority has to accept and approve of a couples real love! If only there were technology that could look at the TRUE HEARTED PEOPLE!! Not by paperwork,,but the  ones who really have love and unification & lifelong goals and plans!! Blessings to you! 

That's so true. You would think that after all this time together, they should know we are a real couple. My only regret is that I didn't think to warn my husband to be prepared to be attacked by the CO's. He was not expecting to be treated like a terrorist being interrogated and harassed by the police and accused of being a lying fraud and a lousy Muslim. He still gets sick to his stomach when we talk about that "interview." They think they can scare people away from being together. The CO's try to put doubt into the couple's minds. I have heard about that over and over. They should have to follow their own rules of conduct. We are not going to back down on this. Thanks for the support!

Edited October 14, 2018 by Love To Teach

[Queeniam1963 7]

2 hours ago, Love To Teach said:

That's so true. You would think that after all this time together, they should know we are a real couple. My only regret is that I didn't think to warn my husband to be prepared to be attacked by the CO's. He was not expecting to be treated like a terrorist being interrogated and harassed by the police and accused of being a lying fraud and a lousy Muslim. He still gets sick to his stomach when we talk about that "interview." They think they can scare people away from being together. The CO's try to put doubt into the couple's minds. I have heard about that over and over. They should have to follow their own rules of conduct. We are not going to back down on this. Thanks for the support!

Welcome,,,,keep faith in each other.. it's hard enough the time away,time processing everything'   but hold on because victory is ours especially when love is immeasurable in our relationships-- true love won't fold or be broken!! Blessings to you