Divorce before ROC

[gbali 3]

Good morning, I wanted to see if someone could talk about their experience if divorced (or separated) even before the 90 day mark for ROC. Heres my story.

 

I became an LPR in October 2017 after being married exactly for 1 year and 8 months. We started living together since July 2015, got married in Feb 2016 but did not file until May 2017. We took a long time filling because he never agreed to petition for me, until 2017 when I saved all the fees money and so he agreed.

 

I suspected he was cheating because he had done in before. On January 2017 I had to call the cops to come to my house because the girl he was cheating on my with tried to hit me outside my house. He smashed my hand with the door on his way out to leave with her. I know guys you are going to say "why did you stay with him?" but its done. I forgave him and I thought we had moved on. I do have a report from McAllen PD of this incident. 

 

Anyways, on December 30th a received a facebook messenger from a girl claiming she had been in my house recently and had intercourse with my husband and in a very detailed message told me everything they/ve done together. I confronted my husband which of course denied everything.

 

He completely became distant and stop being intimate with me. We have not being intimate since February of this year. For me it was really hard, I assumed he was just not feeling good or he was being shy (He had gotten a testicle removed due to testicular cancer last year) so in my mind I thought he is still going through changes and still adapting, its fine we are still a marriage. Well I later found out the reason why he didnt want to have sex with me

 

We got in a fight one night  and he took my XANAX pills and alcohol. I was prescribed XANAX because I was having panic attacks and anxiety issues. I was taken to the hospital on my first panic attack, and XANAX were prescribed in case I got another panic attack. My husband passed out so I found the opportunity to look through his phone. I cannot express what my eyes saw. I found texts with women making arraignments to meet for sex, they were saved under stupid names like "columbia" "NYL Insurance" "Landlord" etc. I also found whatsapps, snapchats, facebook messages of girls sending them pictures of their breasts and conversations,and on his email I found 8 sex videos of him with other people. 5 of them at my house, the other 3 at the bar he owns. I found his profile on seeking arraingment.com, I found naked pictures of him with other girls, naked pictures of girls and also pictures of his #######. I saw the emails where he would also make the offers for sex etc. It just all went downhill from here.

 

I once found him in the living room on facetime with a girl around 3am. I know at this point yall be thinking why are you still doing. Well I had faith and a looooot of love.

 

The next series of events (which included physical violence, documented on pictures, not with the police) will leave out because then this post would be even longer. I also suffered from emotional abuse. I have to mention that I had a miscarriage in June 2017 and he would always tell me I was wortless because I couldnt even have a baby (he cheated with women with kids) and told me at least they could have babies. I later went to the doctor and told me I had PCOS, and it could be difficult to get pregnant, but we could try but either way we werre not having sex anymore. So with my history of PCOS and his testicle removed, it would be hard but difficult. We tried but it was unsuccessful. 

 

Finally, on July 27th he got drunk and I was able to get his phone. I found more pictures, more videos, more everything. This is it for me. I cannot fight for a marriage like this anymore. I have beg for counseling and for him to agree to go to church. I have begged him to love me and respect me a choose me, but he doesnt love me, he just doesnt want to be alone. He asked me for a divorce this weekend, we havent gone to court and so far I havent been served for divorce papers, but I want to be ready in case he does. 

 

He left me truckless for 7 months when he decided to give his truck to his dad and he would take my truck (under his mom's name) and drive me around. I did not mind at the moment because he is my father in law and he needed the truck. My husband would drive me around. Drop my off at work and pick me up. 

 

I'd like to know if someone has a similar story where it was emotional and verbal abuse (like I said i did not document the physical abuse, I only have pictures of my body when he hit me), and more details on how to prove my marriage was on good faith. So far I have:

1) Apartment Lease

2)Income Tax from 2015-2017

3) Mail from both our names on the same address (since I moved in with him in 07/2015)

4) a bunch of pictures of us and our families

5) A lot of facebook screenshots of our posts and check ins

6)He is my beneficiary on my life insurance policy, and i am his

7) We are both out emergency contacts.

8-)  I pay for the water under his name.

9) a lot of Facebook money transactions between us two

10) love notes

11)Emails

 

We do not have a joint bank account. He never wanted to add me to his account or get added on mine, and I never thought it was an issue, but know I Know why he didnt want me to see his transactions. 

 

Also, he makes little money. He works for an insurance company so the pay is based on the policies he sells. After finding out what he did i took the truck from him and I told him I am the one paying for it and I spoke to his mom and we got in an agreement that I would continue paying the truck because if not it could hurt her credit. My husband has no way to pay for it. I make the money in our household, I pay for rent, I pay for groceries and the cable/internet. He takes care of the water and the light bill. Our phones are also under his name

 

I also have all the proof of the cheating, I sent everything to my phone, and as evidence of the marriage I am also on the car insurance with his parents, and since the truck we have the loan we got was under his mom's name since 2016 I have proof that I;ve been paying the loan under her name.

 

I am worried about what could happen to my case, but I will not continue in a hurtful relationship that has drained me emotionally and physically. I came here on an F1 visa, finished my Bachelors, worked on OPT and now I am doing my masters. I know returning to my home country will have a big impact in my life, and thats really something I don't want to do.

 

And another question would be in case of the divorce, Ive read some people say to wait until 90day period, while others say to just file right away if divorce is finalized. I'd really like to hear yalls opinions and experiences.

 

Hope I can hear your experiences with a divorce before ROC, and filling with a divorce waiver.

 

Thank you

 

[debbiedoo 2,339]

yes, you can file for ROC with a divorce waiver. you entered the marriage in good faith. He was a jackass and you left (i really hope youve left). And you have proof of why you are leaving (police report, infidelity, etc).

 

you can file as soon as you have the divorce decree.

 

 

[gbali 3]

On 10/1/2018 at 12:14 PM, debbiedoo said:

yes, you can file for ROC with a divorce waiver. you entered the marriage in good faith. He was a jackass and you left (i really hope youve left). And you have proof of why you are leaving (police report, infidelity, etc).

 

you can file as soon as you have the divorce decree.

 

 

Thank you for your response! Actually no I was still living there but in the guest room until yesterday he told me I needed to leave the apartment by the end of the month and that he will go to the courthouse to start the divorce process so its really happening this time.

[debbiedoo 2,339]

3 minutes ago, Gmrls said:

Thank you for your response! Actually no I was still living there but in the guest room until yesterday he told me I needed to leave the apartment by the end of the month and that he will go to the courthouse to start the divorce process so its really happening this time.

As well it should, by the sound of it. take this time to gather your evidence, find a job (if you don't have one), and get your affairs in order. He can not have you deported, but you do need to start gathering paperwork and such and figuring out the exact next steps.